Message In the Ashes
by OrcaPotter
Summary: When Remus Lupin graduates from Hogwarts, his future looks dim. His family in shambles and no career, he takes an offer from Dumbledore to work for the Order of the Phoenix. He then finds himself in the middle of a conspiracy. Story complete 8/03.
1. False Affirmation

Author's Note: Welcome to my newest novel, Message In the Ashes, a story about Remus Lupin and what happened after Hogwarts up until the death of Lily & James ****

Author's Note: Welcome to my newest novel, _Message In the Ashes_, a story about Remus Lupin and what happened after Hogwarts up until the death of Lily & James. Much like my other story, _Beyond the Emerald Green_, this fic is filled with angst, drama, love, loss, hope, evil, and destruction. This story also corresponds with the upcoming HP book, _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. While the story starts off real dark, ominous, and even depressing, you must forgive me for much of chapter one was written after the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington D.C. I assure you that this fic will have its light parts, as well as its dark ones.

Please enjoy this latest work, and do be kind enough to leave a review when you are finished. ^_^ ~Orca

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Disclaimer: This disclaimer goes for the entire novel from this point on- I do not own any of the characters relating to the Harry Potter series, nor am I affiliated with any of the companies that _do_ own them. All original characters, names, and plots belong to me, [OrcaMorph@aol.com][1]

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"Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?"

~ From _The Book of The Dead_ (Lirael)

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Message In the Ashes 

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prologue

~

He wasn't entirely sure why he had crept back to stare at the place that was the entrance to his pain and terror, but over the past few years, it had also become the symbol of adventure.

The world was dark because of the new moon, with the blanket of clouds that night had brought. Pulling his robe closer together, feeling the cold night air chilling his frail body, he dared to step closer to the violent tree that was the Whomping Willow.

"Moony," whispered a voice behind him.

Remus jumped slightly, but didn't turn around. He expected they would follow him. Or, at least James.

"Hello Prongs," Remus said.

He felt James sidle up next to him, blending into the dark in Remus' eyes. They stood there, staring at the tree, until an owl hooted, breaking the silence.

"I'm going to miss it, too," James said at last.

"What am I going to do now? I'll be all alone again," Remus sighed, hugging his body when a shiver went down his spine.

He could hear James sigh softly too, and shuffle his feet in the long grass. The ruffle of the Willow's leaves sounded like rainfall in the wind.

"Just because we're graduating doesn't mean we're never going to see each other again," James said softly. "How far away are you going to go?"

Remus thought a moment, thinking back to his meeting with Headmaster Dumbledore just a few days prior. He remembered their conversation about his future, what he could possible do as a career. Not too many jobs accepted werewolves.

"I can't stay," Remus muttered.

"Why not?" James sounded surprised, standing still. "Padfoot and I are going to be aurors, and Wormtail… well, he's going to try. Can't you apply too?"

Remus turned to look at him, just barely making out his profile in the dark. James' round glasses reflected the few specs of light that came from the castle behind them.

"Werewolves can't be aurors, James, you know that," Remus' voice was firm.

"Who has to know?" James said mischievously, but his tone revealed that he knew it was impossible.

Remus sighed, looked at the deceivingly calm tree before them one last time, then turned back and began to head for the castle. James ran up to catch him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"This is not the end of the world," James reassured him. "We'll help you find a place and a job, I promise you that."

Remus stopped and looked at him, seeing his face a little more clearly now that they were closer to the castle. James smiled warmly back, his brown eyes full of understanding. Finally, Remus nodded and James gave him a soft shove.

"Stop being so pessimistic, Moony, or else I'll have Padfoot bite your leg, Wormtail bite your nose, and I myself will ram your butt into next Tuesday!"

He laughed, and Remus couldn't help but chuckle himself. Who was he to deserve such friendship? Before Hogwarts, he never had such a thing. Going away to school was the best thing that could ever happen to him. But now it was over, and everyone he loved would be going off on their own to start living their futures. He smiled back at James, who continued to grin as they tiptoed their way back to the Gryffindor dorms, however, the smile was a mask. Inside, Remus still didn't believe he had a future, and he knew that this time his friends would not be able to help him out.

"_There is one option, though,"_ Dumbledore had said during their meeting the other day. _"With these troubled times that we are now in, the ancient ways must be called to deal with such danger. There is need for skilled, intelligent, and brave souls to help perform the rite. I know of one job that you could be useful for, but it demands a sacrifice…"_

What else did he have to loose? Remus followed James silently through the portrait of the Fat Lady, walking softly to the stairway up to their room.

_My friends_. He answered himself.

Sirius and Peter appeared to be fast asleep, but Remus was keen enough to realize their irregular breathing meant they were very much awake. He could see a slight smile on Peter's small, round face. Sirius was more skilled in deception, and Remus could tell he was trying hard to regulate his breaths. 

James climbed back into his bed, but didn't pull the curtains closed. Instead, he sat back against his pillows and watched Remus smooth out his own sheets. Sirius often teased him playfully about his picky habits, and James would always defend him. Remus didn't care, most of the time he didn't notice what he was doing. When he was satisfied, Remus got into bed.

_"What must I do?"_ Remus had asked Dumbledore.

_"Go undercover,"_ his answer was vague.

_"For what purpose?"_

_"To save humanity, under the Order of the Phoenix,"_ Dumbledore said softly.

_"What's that?"_

"I cannot tell you until you know for sure that you can help."

Can_ I help_? Remus thought to himself as he looked back at James. There was a mysterious look on his face, making Remus furrow his brow slightly in curiosity. Yet, James gave no explanation, and just smiled as he shimmied down under his covers. Remus continued to stare at him, even after he could see that he was asleep. Sirius' snores filled the room, and a small grunt from Peter's bed proved him to be asleep as well.

_We'll never be together like this again, will we?_ He curled under his own covers and closed his eyes. _My future in life was set the moment my curse poisoned my veins; my path is walked on four paws._

~

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Chapter One

_False Affirmation_

The eyes that looked back on him in the mirror were soft and tired, darkened from lack of sleep. Even though it had been a week since the last full moon, Remus still felt fatigued and run down as if getting over a bout with the flu. His other classmates found his appearance disconcerting, and he was often given a wide berth in the corridors. Yet, no matter how bad things got, his friends were always by his side.

Remus was the last one in the dorm room that morning, combing through his pale brown hair, parting his lofty bangs over his forehead. His bed beside him was neatly made up, the curtains on the four poster tied back. He had gotten used to how the rest of the room looked over the past seven years. James made a decent effort to keep his place clean and tidy, but often slacked off. Peter was simply too small to bend over the bed to make up the covers, so his comforter and blankets were unskillfully tossed over the mattress to give the illusion that it was made. Sirius had no sense of a clean personal space, and he left his bed and drawers unkempt from the moment he arrived at Hogwarts to the moment he leaves every year. Only… this year was different.

The other beds in the room he could see in the mirror, and each one was just as cleanly made up as if Remus had done it all himself. Today they were leaving Hogwarts… for the last time.

"Really, Moony… do you _have_ to stare at your face this long in the mirror every morning? You're not getting any younger," Sirius poked his head into the room.

Remus answered without diverting his attention to the mirror, "Funny, only two minutes ago I said the same thing to you. Only, you had had the mirror for nearly an hour before I spoke up."

Sirius made a face and put his hands on his hips, "Have to go out with style, and today's my last chance."

After a last swipe of his comb, Remus finally turned from the mirror and looked at Sirius as he packed the last of his things. The trunks sitting at the foot of each bed, including his, would be magically transported to the Hogwarts Express.

"Where are James and Peter?" Remus asked.

"Wormtail has been turned into an armadillo and you get three guesses as to where Prongs is," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Armadillo, eh?" Remus smiled, "Are we back up to the A's then?"

"Yeah," Sirius grinned mischievously, "Last week was a zebra, remember? We did it after the last Quidditch match when he wasn't looking."

"That's right," Remus nodded knowingly, pushing past Sirius and trying not to look back into the room that had been his home away from home for so long. "Prongs rode on top of him when we won the match. You would think by now Wormtail would be more wary of you."

Sirius closed the door behind them, and Remus tried with all his willpower not to get emotional. Sirius apparently had no idea, for he was too busy explaining how he had deceived Peter this time. It was obvious that leaving Hogwarts was not as soul wrenching for him than it was for Remus. Yet, as he watched Sirius walk down the staircase to the common room, his vibes told a different story, that he was upset as well and doing his best not to show it.

_Am I just as good at deception as you are_? Remus asked him wordlessly in his mind.

The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with seventh years reminiscing over every detail the room contained. All of the younger students either laughed at the tales or paid no attention, slipping through the portrait hole every now and then to go down to the train platform. One particular gaggle of students occupied a corner by the hearth, laughing and pointing down to something on the floor. Remus could see Sirius' grin grow broader as they approached, and he rolled his eyes and sighed when they finally got the crowd to part.

"Sirius," Remus began calmly, "I don't believe that armadillos are _pink_."

Everyone broke out into a fit of giggles if they weren't laughing already, watching the small pink armadillo frantically making circles on the rug. His beady little eyes glared up at Sirius and looked pleadingly at Remus.

"_I_ didn't turn him pink. _James_ did," Sirius put on an angelic face.

Remus sighed and pulled out his wand, trying desperately to hide the genuine smile that threatened to break his calm composure. After shooing away as many people that he could, he muttered a short spell and instantly Peter popped back into his human self.

"You unreasonable git!" Peter immediately squeaked, his face just as pink in anger as it was before as an armadillo. He looked accusingly at Sirius, who began to swing his arms and whistle. "You deliberately told me that my shoe was untied- which it _wasn't_- and turned me into an armadillo!"

"I did?" Sirius looked around as if Peter was speaking to someone else, and Remus couldn't help but let a soft snort come out as the laughter threatened to come forth. "There are a lot of people here just as capable of turning you into an armadillo."

"And a pink one at that," Remus muttered under his breath. Peter looked at him suspiciously, and Remus could only smile innocently back.

Peter's small and pudgy body was rigid with anger, and his hands balled into fists as he turned his attention back to Sirius. Remus decided to leave them be, for fear of getting involved in a fray. He slipped quietly through the portrait hole and decided to look for James.

Remus didn't need three guesses to know where James was. In all of their adventures together, the infamous Marauders had only been caught twice. The first time was the worst, when Sirius decided to play a joke on a notorious Slytherin git named Snape. Snape had been suspicious of where Remus and his friends disappeared to every full moon, and Sirius decided to tell him where and how to get past the Whomping Willow to the secret place where Remus endured his painful transformations. He would had been killed hadn't James found out and stopped him before Remus could hurt him. Snape was sworn to secrecy about Remus and the Whomping Willow, and from that day on he let his hatred of them boil inside of himself, hating James even more than he had before because he had saved his life.

The second time they were caught had fewer implications. A girl named Lily Evans, whom James had a secret crush on, had stumbled upon them as James, Sirius, and Peter were sneaking out to be with Remus. She was a very bright young woman, and had a special way with people that she could earn trust very quickly. James, in his moment of male weakness, confessed everything to her, and instead of being disgusted or appalled, she found what they were doing as a noble and moral thing to do. Since then, her relationship with James grew into something more than friendship, and her respect and companionship with Remus deepened into a bond that would not be easily broken.

Remus couldn't help but feel a little jealous of James, for having someone to care so much for and love, and have those feelings returned. But he was eternally happy for them, and suppressed his selfish feelings and tried his best to dismiss them. However, with the last day of Hogwarts and a dark future upon him, Remus could feel just a twinge of that jealousy rise to the surface as he walked into the astronomy tower.

James and Lily immediately looked up, both of them flush and grinning like fools. They were snuggled into a corner behind some telescopes, peering through the stands at Remus.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I believe Wormtail has a bone to pick with you concerning the color pink," Remus said politely.

"And I thought your enthusiasm to be alone together was just because it was our last day, James Potter." Lily looked at James with laughter in her green eyes.

James flushed an even deeper red and tried his best to look innocent as he reluctantly parted himself from her and stood up.

"I thought pink suited him fine," he said mildly, looking at Remus. He looked at him back with his calm expression, his hands clasped together in front of him silently.

"Perhaps I should go and see if there are any pieces of Sirius left to put back together." James smiled and looked down at Lily, who looked back at him with slight disappointment in her eyes.

"Dear Moony and I will prepare two caskets for you," Lily grinned after a moment, looking over to Remus, who had suddenly blushed.

"Good idea," James nodded, pulling her to her feet and taking her hand. He handed her over to Remus, who turned an even brighter crimson. "You two behave now."

"Oh, I would never-" Remus babbled immediately, feeling his palm begin to sweat under Lily's gentle grip.

James laughed and Lily's eyes twinkled reassuringly at Remus. He calmed slightly, but tensed up when James left the tower, leaving them alone.

"Come on, let's get some fresh air," Lily said softly, taking the lead and walking them out of the tower and outside to the grounds.

Remus walked by her side, and her silence eventually calmed all his nerves. His hand rested easily in hers, and he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when she released him as they approached the Lake. For a while, they didn't say anything, only stealing glances at one another as they gazed upon the water. The Giant Squid seemed to sense that that day was the last of the term, and it rested on the small ripples at the surface listlessly. 

"Did James tell you?" Lily spoke suddenly, snapping Remus from his quiet staring.

"Tell me what?" He looked at her closely.

She broke into a half smile and looked back at the Lake, "James and I made a promise."

Remus turned to her, "Promise for what?"

Lily's smile broadened and her green eyes twinkled with quiet amusement at Remus' disconcertion. "A promise to stay together… always."

"You mean…?" He suddenly understood.

"Yes," she looked at him, "Not now, but later… yes."

_Will _I_ ever have an eternal bond_? Remus thought as he smiled back at her in return and gave her a hug.

_You already do,_ he answered himself, _You're eternally bonded to the curse inside yourself._

"This doesn't change things between all of us, Remus," her voice sounded concerned, even muffled against his robes. "You're as much a part of the same promise as James and I, and Sirius and Peter."

"You mean you're marrying all of us?" Remus forced to joke, pulling away and smiling at her. He really was happy for his friends, but he couldn't help that feeling deep down inside that kept him from feeling happy with all his soul.

Lily's concern didn't lift, but she still smiled, "I already have, silly one."

He took her hand and looked her straight in her deep eyes, "Till death do us part."

"Till death do us part," she whispered. Why did her eyes darken so? Her hand tightened around his for a moment, before letting go and looking away again. Why did her smile suddenly wane? For a moment, Remus got the feeling that there was something more that she knew, something that involved her and James… perhaps even the others.

He was about to ask, when her smile returned and her posture became more like her confident self again.

"Let's go see if there are any pieces of James and Sirius left to put together." she grinned at him, turned, and started to walk back to the castle.

For just a moment more, Remus remained still and looked to the Lake one last time. Then, he walked quickly up to Lily, and they walked together back into Hogwarts.

*

It seemed that year that everyone left the Gryffindor common room at once. One whole mass of bodies streaming from the portrait hole into the corridor. Remus held himself back behind his small group of friends, who made up the last of the Gryffindor house to leave the common room. He couldn't help but to look back over his shoulder and see the portrait swing back to hide the entrance. The Fat Lady looked especially relieved that the year was over, and settled into her spot on the wall comfortably as she watched the last of them go. Remus almost felt compelled to say something, to say goodbye after all the years that he had to confront her with a password to get her to move. He didn't have the chance, however, because Peter had stopped suddenly and he ran into him.

"Oof!" Peter yelped, stumbling forward. Remus grabbed him and looked easily over his head to see the reason why they stopped.

"Sorry," he whispered to Peter, "What's wrong?"

Professor McGonagall was making her way against the onslaught of students down the corridor, heading for Remus' direction. For a moment, Remus was confused; then an instinctual reaction of fear, after many years at being a Marauder. Had she found them out for something? Were they going to be in trouble the moment they left for the last time?

Peter seemed to be thinking the same thing, for his small body began to tremble slightly. Remus could see James, Lily, and Sirius equally as frozen in place with pale looking faces.

"Lupin! Remus Lupin, where are you?" McGonagall huffed as she got closer. Immediately, all four of Remus' friends looked at him, fear clearly shown in their eyes as well as confusion. What did she want with him?

Trying hard not to tremble himself, Remus slowly raised his hand and waved. McGonagall spotted him and gave a sigh of relief with a slight smile.

_Maybe I'm not in trouble after all_, he thought to himself with his own relief.

The transfiguration professor made her way toward Remus, her path easier now that she was at the back end of the crowd. Remus was relieved that James, Lily, Sirius, and even Peter didn't make a move to leave him. They all stepped to the side against the corridor wall and waited as she came and stood in front of Remus.

"I need to see you in my office for a moment, Mr. Lupin. Also, the headmaster might want a word with you as well," she said breathlessly. Remus blinked and looked to his friends, who simply looked back at him with questioning expressions. They, for once, did not comfort him.

"But," he looked at the ground uncertainly and back up at her again, "What about the train? Will I miss it?"

That thought alone made his throat tighten with sick dread. To be denied his last hours with his best friends- his only friends- would be too much to bear.

"I don't believe so, no, Mr. Lupin." McGonagall thought a moment and then gestured for him to follow her.

_If you're showing me the way, that's not necessary. I've been there enough times I could walk there in my sleep_, He thought to himself as he began to follow. He looked at each of his friends in turn, and all of them, with the exception of Peter, gave him reassuring smiles. Sirius could almost have laughed, James was more encouraging, and lastly, Lily's was full of warmth and comfort.

"Mr. Lupin?" McGonagall called, and Remus walked more quickly.

The other hallways and corridors were empty since all the students had left behind them. Remus kept just behind Professor McGonagall, keeping his gaze everywhere else but her back. He wanted to burn the images of the castle into his brain so that he would never forget.

All too soon, they reached her office and McGonagall gestured for Remus to step inside. He looked at her expression as he past her, but couldn't make out an explanation as to why she would want to see him exclusively at the last moment. She told him to take a seat in front of her desk, and he obliged, sitting at the edge of the large armchair as if poised to leave the position as soon as possible. McGonagall raised an eyebrow, but said nothing on the matter. Instead, she took her place behind her desk and folded her hands over an enormous book that was close upon it. The book, Remus suspected, was the one rumored to tell the deputy headmistress all of the magical children that had ever been born.

"I brought you here, Mr. Lupin, to inform you that your elder brother will be picking you up at King's Cross," McGonagall said, looking at him intently.

Remus' eyes fell and his curious expression instantly faded into one of disconcertion. When she didn't continue, he brought himself back together to look up at her.

"That's all?" His voice was small.

"I will let your brother explain when you meet up with him, but I'm done with you, yes. However, the Headmaster would like a word." She looked seemingly over Remus' head. Following her gaze, Remus turned to look behind him, where, to his surprise, sat Professor Dumbledore.

"Hello, Remus." Dumbledore's voice was warm and friendly.

"Hello, Professor," he replied quietly, lowering his gaze.

Dumbledore stood up and went over to McGonagall, who promptly got up from her chair and left her own office, closing the door behind her. The headmaster then took her seat and gazed at Remus behind his half-moon spectacles.

"I know you're upset," Dumbledore began quietly.

"No, it's alright…" Remus started, but the Headmaster simply held up his hand and Remus quieted.

"It's not going to be easy, both you and I know that. However, I would like you to weigh your options. I still need you… your friends need you, and I'm afraid that your help could be more dire than originally expected. You _can_ make a difference, Remus. Keep in mind what you're going home to."

When Dumbledore finished, he sighed and leaned back into the chair. For the first time, Remus noticed just how old the wizard was. What he was asking of him was serious, and he meant every word he said.

"I take it the others have not told you," Dumbledore said suddenly.

"Told me what?" Remus' brows furrowed.

"James, Sirius, and Lily have agreed to join the Order of the Phoenix," he answered softly.

Remus reeled back in shock. His best friends kept this a secret from him? Why? After he admitted that he was a werewolf, they vowed to never keep secrets from each other. Ever. Why did they betray him? Then it dawned on him just as suddenly as the shock hit him.

"Because I am a werewolf," he whispered to himself, but Dumbledore heard him. "Werewolves can't be aurors."

"Yes they _can_," Dumbledore told him firmly, sitting up straight again. "I asked them not to tell you, because you need to make this decision for yourself. Yet, I tell you now, because you need to know just how badly we need you."

Remus looked him straight in the eyes, seeing the certainty and desperation behind them. His anger and hurt that his friends had kept this a secret began to falter, and he could only think of how they were putting their lives in danger, and how he could help them. His thoughts quickly passed over to where he was going home to… his family… and it only wanted him to agree more. Yet… there was still that doubt… still that little voice at the back of his mind that kept taunting him.

_Werewolves can't do anything but cause murder and mayhem. What makes you think you can make a difference_?

Remus' eyes wandered the room a moment, before settling back upon Dumbledore's tired and kindly face. He suppressed the dark voice back down deep inside of him and forced himself to speak.

"When can I give you my answer?" he asked softly.

"As soon as you can give me one," Dumbledore replied. 

Remus inhaled deeply and looked down at his feet, urging Dumbledore silently to let him go. He wasn't ready to make a decision… he needed to talk with the others. The headmaster got the hint, and with a warm farewell, dismissed him. McGonagall then made sure that Remus got safely on the train. As soon as he got on board, the train screeched to life and began to roll out of Hogsmeade Station. He watched Professor McGonagall as she slowly went out of sight, her expression a mixture of feelings as she watched his window disappear.

"For a while I thought you weren't going to make it," Sirius said, looking at him from his side of the compartment.

"What was it that McGonagall wanted?" James asked, sitting with Lily resting beside him.

Remus leaned back in his seat and sighed, stuffing his hands in his torn jean pockets. They had all removed their uniforms and packed them away, and Remus' clothing looked as if they were too big. His oversized shirt was wrinkled, and rips could be seen in his jeans. His left hand nearly went through the pocket itself. He looked down at his shoes, old and dirty with the soles just starting to pull off. Everything he owned were hand-me-downs.

"Neo is picking me up today." He looked back out the window, where the scenery had turned rural now that they were out of Hogsmeade.

Everyone's eyes fell and their expressions looked sympathetic. They knew how Remus' family life was like, but mostly about his brother, Neo. James especially knew what Remus had to live with, for he had tried to visit over the many summers past. Sirius nearly lost a limb the last time he had encountered Neo. Peter was simply too afraid to bring up the subject of visiting Remus' house. However, Lily only knew about it by what the others told her.

"I thought he left," James said quietly after a moment.

Remus shook his head, "Apparently not."

"It took that long to tell you this, though?" Sirius asked, recovering himself.

Not trusting himself to look at them, Remus answered as he continued to stare out the window.

"Dumbledore spoke with me when McGonagall broke this news."

When no one said anything, he went on.

"He has asked me to join a special group of aurors known as the Order of the Phoenix. He's asked me before, a few weeks ago."

James' voice was small. "What did you say?"

Remus couldn't help but look at them then.

"That I didn't know… and I still don't know. However, he told me what _you_ all said."

James' face flushed like it always did when he was caught or embarrassed. Lily averted her eyes silently, while Peter simply stared at the opposite side of the compartment. Sirius looked downright awful, mouth gaping open wordlessly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus looked at them all in turn, his expression pulled in disappointment. "I thought we all vowed to never keep secrets from each other again."

Sirius worked his jaw to speak, but couldn't find what to say. James sighed and ran his hand through his black untidy hair.

"He told us not to tell you… that he wasn't sure," James' voice was bitter toward himself.

"He didn't think… we didn't want to get your hopes up, only to disappoint you later," Sirius finally managed to say with desperation.

"I know these excuses are unacceptable… but… you're like a brother to us and we didn't want to hurt you," James added, looking away.

"We thought it was for the best, Remus, really," Lily said quietly. Peter was still silent.

They all watched Remus as he continued to look at them all with disappointment in his eyes. However, the more he looked at them, the more he saw the trust they all represented and how much they really did care for him. When he didn't say anything for several minutes, Remus took a deep breath and looked off to the side.

"I don't know what to do."

James got up and sat beside him, putting a strong hand on his shoulder. Sirius sat up straight, his face solemn. Lily moved over to sit in front of him and took his hands gently in hers. Only Peter remained unmoved, watching silently with shame clearly shown on his face.

"Whatever you choose, you have to choose for yourself, mate. Don't do it because we're doing it… you do it for what you think is right," James said.

"I don't care if you never forgive us, Moony, but we're all truly sorry," Sirius muttered.

The train whistle blew as they entered a tunnel, the compartment lights turning on as darkness swallowed the window. Remus sensed that his friends were genuine to their word, and the anger and shock of what they had done ebbed away. After a few minutes, he began to nod.

"I forgive you," he whispered.

Everyone seemed to exhale with relief, and both James and Sirius began to pound on him as they always did. Finally, Remus was laughing along with them, and the group's tension was lifted, letting them all relax.

"Why are you doing it?" he asked them after they had all settled down. Silence followed again, yet with each of them with thoughtful expressions.

"Because Dumbledore said we're his only hope?" Sirius cracked a grin.

"No, because we're the smartest trouble-makers on Earth and he wants us to play a prank on the Death Eaters," James mocked him.

"Because I'm cute?" Lily smiled sweetly, but she immediately began to shake her head.

"Well, of course that's _your_ reason!" James kissed her.

Remus laughed. "No, come on, really."

Another quiet pause, and Sirius spoke again, "Because we _are_ the only hope."

"And because we _are_ skilled and powerful wizards," James added solemnly.

"And so are _you_, Remus… that's why he asked you," said Lily, looking at him kindly. 

He looked away a moment, trying to find some argument to what they said, but he knew that if he told them how he really felt about his worth, that they would rebuke him for his self-pity. James had spent the greater part of their years together trying to get him to stop feeling sorry for himself, to overcome his curse and embrace everything that he _could_ do. Could he _really_ be able to make such a difference as both his friends and Dumbledore said he could?

"I told him I would send him my answer by owl when I knew," Remus said finally, hoping that for the rest of the trip, that they could move on to talk about something else more worth while of their short time left together.

To his relief, everyone accepted his answer and settled back down. Talk moved on to memories of the past seven years. Peter, who had remained silent for the whole beginning of the trip, was unusually curious about what James and Lily planned to do, since they had made a "promise" to one another. Remus watched his timid and stout friend with an inquisitorial expression. No one seemed to notice, but there was just something about Peter that wasn't right. Yet, he shrugged his perception off, taking care to realize that Peter was generally like that- held back, eager, and easily frightened.

All too soon, they could feel the train begin to slow down. The engineer spoke over the loudspeaker that they were arriving at Platform 9 ¾, and to assemble their baggage. Morosely, each of them pulled out their trunks and packed what was left of their belongings that weren't already put away.

Remus refused to look out the window as the train squealed to a stop. The loud din of voices from family and friends began to filter into the compartment. Feeling his spirits die as every second passed, Remus grabbed his trunk and slung a light jacket over his shoulder. Peter left the compartment first, shouting to them all to meet him off the train. Sirius reluctantly followed, his normally gung-ho nature lost to that of sadness. When James and Lily looked at Remus, he instantly got the hint that they wanted a moment alone. Without a word, he left to follow Sirius off the train.

"They're only going to be together _all_ summer," Sirius muttered as they stepped onto the platform.

"When you fall in love, perhaps you'll understand," Remus sighed, keeping his gaze to the ground.

"Like _that's_ going to happen… let's face it, I'm a rogue dog, Moony," he looked back at him, but Remus didn't notice. Sirius frowned and swept the platform carefully with a furrowed gaze.

"My mother is waiting, what's taking them so long?" Peter whined.

"Keep your pants on, Wormtail, they're coming," Sirius rolled his eyes, tapping his foot.

Remus set his trunk down and only allowed his eyes to move up to the train's exit. For a few minutes more, he continued to wait with Sirius and Peter. However, one voice broke through the crowd that was unmistakable.

"_There_ you are. I've been looking everywhere, you idiot!"

Remus' breath froze, his body stiffened up straight as a board. Sirius and Peter immediately silenced.

"Come on, you fool! I'm not hanging around this ditch any longer, let's go!"

With a slight turn of his head, Remus braved himself to speak to his oldest brother.

"Hold on just one more minute, Neo, okay? My friends-"

"I don't freak'n care about your friends," Neo growled. Remus still refused to look at him, only desperately up at the train exit, willing James and Lily to finally come. "I'm leaving with or without you. Now."

His throat clogging up and his face red with anger, Remus gave in and turned to him. Sirius looked furious, while typical Peter looked about ready to wet himself.

"Now, wait a second… can't-" Sirius started angrily, but Neo, being twice his height, turned on him threateningly.

"I can't what, Black?"

Sirius looked to Remus, who looked back at him with a warning expression. _Don't do it, Sirius, it's not worth it,_ he said with his eyes. Still angry, Sirius lowered his gaze and looked away, taking controlled breaths.

"Oh, hello Neo."

Remus looked up to see James and Lily stepping off the train, dragging their trunks behind them. Both of them were looking at Neo with complete contempt, their eyes flickering back and forth between him and his Remus.

"Eh," Neo cuffed, looking away. He turned then to Remus, roughly grabbing his shoulder. "Let's go."

"We'll see you, Remus… soon," James called after them, sounding defeated.

"Hang in there, Moony!" Sirius called out.

They wove between the crowds quickly, Remus only managing small glances at the families that were being reunited… the friends bidding tearful farewells. He watched it all from a distance, knowing that his fate kept him from such privileges. As Remus left the platform with Neo still gripping his shoulder firmly, he couldn't help but let the one tear stinging his left eye to fall.

****

Author's Note: Yes… dark, very angsty, and heavy. However, I feel it reflects my interpretation of Lupin's character. This novel will explore his personality, much like BtEG did for Harry. Again, writing is a window into the author's mind- and perhaps this chapter came out a little heavier than I planned. Then again, what has happened to my country, the United States, is so psychologically shocking that I didn't realize how it affected my writing until I read it through- as much of you can relate to and understand. **Anyway**, I'm afraid my postings are not going to be regular like they have in the past. My writing is in high demand for my college newspaper, _The Scribe_, as well as the typical college papers and all the various other stuff I am doing right now. I want this novel to surpass my last, so I am going to take my time and make this the best I can do with my level of knowledge at this time. ASAP, I am going to finish Timothy and put him aside for a _long_ time… I need a very big mental break from the little guy.

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Visit Orca On the Web: Big plans are in order for _The World of Renee Potter_… as the site comes up to its first anniversary! A new look, new pages, and new _sister site_ are in the making to be debuted in October. Yes, that's right, I've finally gotten my lazy butt to put together my own official archive! Look for the entire _Renee Chronicles_ (each novel revised and spell checked!), the _Timothy's Story_ novels, and all of my other fics including this one! You'll be able to read them all, chapter by chapter, at my own site. Look for it in October! For now, set your browser to [http://www.theworldofreneepotter.disneyfansites.com][2] and get the latest!

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Join the Mailing List: As you may have heard, FF.net author alerts are no longer available. If you had me on your AA, you may want to consider joining my mailing list. Get news on my latest postings, where to find them, and critical website updates straight to your Email box from me. To join, simply send in your Email addy to [OrcaMorph@aol.com][1] with "join mailing list" as the subject heading.

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Next, In Chapter Two: Perhaps the answers to some of our questions as to the reason behind Lupin's character, as he arrives home with his unpleasant elder brother, Neo.

**__**

"The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do." ~ John Holt

~OrcaPotter

[OrcaMorph@aol.com][1]

   [1]: mailto:OrcaMorph@aol.com
   [2]: http://www.theworldofreneepotter.disneyfansites.com/



	2. The House By the Wood

Chapter Two ****

Author's Note: I do hope you like this story, I'm very fond of it. FF.net is really fruity now, and most readers aren't aware of my postings. _Please_ review when you're done.

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Special Thanks: My fantastic beta readers; they really keep me in check! 007 and RavenNat

Chapter Two

_The House by the Wood_

The taxicab was silent as it drove on from London out into the countryside. This particular driver didn't ask questions when he loaded Remus' large trunk into the back, nor when Remus accidentally dropped his wand and Neo cuffed him on the head for doing so. He didn't give suspicious or even curious glances at Remus in the rearview mirror. They simply rode on without a word. The most that was said was a few directions from Neo as they left the paved highway and got on to a dirt road.

This didn't bother Remus. He was perfectly fine with the silence, sitting on the overstuffed and worn backseat. Picking at the various tears in the vinyl, pulling at the white filling, Remus stared blankly out the window. There was something about the wilderness of the country that intrigued him. He looked at the tall trees and vast expanse of grass, and wanted nothing more than to run among it all. Free from everything that tied him.

A soft murmur from Neo in the front seat shook Remus from his reverie. Blinking out of his stare, he made sure that the noise was not directed at him before looking back out the window. Only, this time, as familiar landscapes began to appear, the trees and brush became the symbols of everything he had come to hate.

_That's where it all began…_ he thought to himself bitterly as the scene flashed by. _And it's where a freak like me belongs._ _Not out saving the world._

"Stop here," Neo announced brusquely. Remus let his gaze slide to the front window, where he could see a decent sized house in the middle of a field. A pit formed in the base of his stomach, and he sighed softly.

The taxi stopped and the driver got out to retrieve Remus' trunk. Neo simply got out and left, heading for the house. Remus was not the least bit surprised, and, sorrowfully, got out of the cab himself.

He was still standing on the same spot even as the cab left, the driver having put Remus' trunk on the ground next to him. With his pay, he left without a word, only leaving a cloud of dirt and dust as the cab sped away. Remus studied this house, his home, until the image reinforced his memory of the previous summer, and his life there in general.

While the house was generous in size, it was greatly neglected. The landscape around it was barren, as if a drought had plagued the plant life to death. Shingles were sparse and hanging from the single story roof, patches of timber covering the many leaks and holes. One of the front windows was broken, and all of them were so dirty you couldn't see inside. The front door showed evidence of once being very ornate and grand, but years of abuse, both human and natural, made it look pathetic indeed.

There was no joyous greeting as Remus finally grabbed his trunk and went into the house. The foyer was in desperate need of a good sweeping. He left his trunk beside the dilapidated door and made his way through the barren hallway to the sitting room.

If he tried very hard, Remus could remember a time when his parents were sitting proudly on the sofa, watching him and his older brother opening presents at Christmas. The air of loathing Neo held toward him was not as intense then, and all Remus had was the normal admiration a younger brother has toward and older one. Yet, looking in the sitting room now, all he could see was an aged and dirty sofa. The corner where the Christmas tree normally would be now piled high with old newspapers. Even the small fireplace was nothing but a hole in the wall filled with long-burned ash.

With a look of mellow indifference, Remus turned and walked into the kitchen. The neglect in this room was staggering, even worse than it was when Remus had left for his final year at Hogwarts. The doors to the cabinets hung on their hinges, while splatters of some unknown substance that had once been edible covered the peeling wood. Dirty dishes were overflowing from the grimy sink, and the white linoleum on the floor was now brown. Remus didn't want to think of the last time it had been moped. 

"Get me a glass, will you?" said a raspy, low voice.

Remus turned to see his mother hunched over the kitchen table, holding a nearly empty bottle of wine. Her long hair, that had once been brown and luxurious, was now gray after years of stress. She was very thin, with bags puffy around her darkened eyes. Remus looked at her, surprise evident on his face.

"Mother?"

"I'm running a little low, youngling. Be a dear," she smiled faintly in his direction, not really looking at him.

Hesitantly, Remus looked around the mess for a decently clean glass. Disgusted, he fiddled around the grotesque sink until he found one that must have only been used once. As he moved to put it on the table for her, he noticed several empty wine bottles littering the floor.

"Mother, how much have you had to drink?" he asked worriedly, sitting down across from her.

"Did you do well in school this year?" She didn't look at him, only at the last drops of wine dripping into the new glass.

Remus didn't answer her question, only furrowing his brows more.

"Where's father?"

"Your father's a good man. When he gets back, I'll make us up something. He's so proud of his boys," his mother smiled absently, staring past Remus and at the wall. 

Remus was torn between great sadness and anger toward his mother. Why was she like this? Where was father? How could she live in the house in the state that it was? Didn't Neo care about _anything_ anymore?

"In that case, we won't be eating at all," said Neo's voice. He walked into the kitchen, giving no indication at being revolted by its condition, and simply looked through the cupboard for something to eat. Remus burned his gaze into his brother's backside, and it was obvious Neo could tell.

"You're such a good brother, Neo. Remus, did you thank your brother for fetching you today?" It was as if nothing was wrong. His mother somewhat focused her eyes on Remus, waiting for an answer. Neo, also, turned with a look of great amusement on his face.

Feeling his cheeks go hot, Remus looked down on his lap to avert their expectant stares. Normally, he would break down his defense and give in, doing as his mother told, but after eighteen years, it was time to show that he wasn't a weak little boy anymore. Even if he was a weak, and worthless, man.

"Where is father, if he didn't go out to fetch me?" he asked, his voice low and grim.

His mother looked confused, and her eyes fell. Neo, however, still had a look of mock amusement. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, just behind their mother.

"Now, where is father? Do _you_ know, mother?"

Remus bit his lip from snapping a remark, and looked imploringly at his mother. Her mouth was moving, but without uttering a sound. She looked disturbed by something. Neo chuckled bitterly, and looked at Remus directly in the eyes. Remus leaned back in his chair, recoiling.

"Father _left_. He's been gone for sixth months, couldn't deal with our popularity anymore. Mother's been like this ever since. First there was the son that was worthless, then the miracle child that became the cursed. Too much cover up, too much worry. When mother's magic mysteriously went dry, so did father's. Only he didn't have the gall to handle it, although mother isn't that much better off, now is she?"

He looked at their mother then, with a smirk on his face as she continued to search her mind for an answer. Remus' anger suddenly merged into immense remorse. Like always, he felt defeated, and he couldn't bring himself to look at anyone. He simply sat in his chair, his shoulder's sagged, searching for the lines in the linoleum that were covered by dirt. As if satisfied by his response, Neo laughed and went back to his search for food.

"Better put your things away, youngling," his mother said suddenly, back to her befuddled state. "You know how your father hates things lying around the house."

That night, Remus couldn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling of his barren and musty room, seeing the depressing state of his mother in his mind.

_So, father left._ He thought morosely. _What Neo always wanted._

It hadn't always been this bad, Remus knew. Long ago, his parents were vibrant, proud, and intelligent magical folk. The Lupin name was distinguished among the countryside, and the Lupins where known to be very fond of nature. Remus' father was an Unspeakable, one of the most exclusive and secret occupations at the Ministry of Magic. His mother, however, was a housewife. Even though she was talented in magic, she didn't want her family to have two busy parents.

It was a great shock to find out that Neo was a Squib, a child of magical lineage that possessed no magical power whatsoever. The once well respected and admired family became frequently avoided, shunned because of such a handicapped child. According to Neo, it was too much to bear. His mother soon gave birth to Remus, and their joy was all too obvious. Remus was the son any magical couple could hope for, his talent visible even as an infant.

His parents tried to treat their children equally, using the least amount of magic at home as possible, so that Remus would not be influenced and Neo would not feel left out. Yet, it was plain to see that Remus was indefinitely the child they cared about most.

Neo learned to hate.

When Remus was four years old, Neo was asked to watch him as he played outside while their parents took care of adult matters in the house. His loathing of Remus had climbed to a crescendo. When he was sure their parents weren't looking, he led Remus out into the woods. Later, when he was older, Remus would find out from Neo that he had only meant to loose him there. But something else happened that was just as well, if not better.

All Remus could remember of that fateful day was a flash of brown, a huge shadow, and an excruciating pain in his left leg. He had become tangled in a briar bush after that, and that was where his parents found him. Neo had fled when he saw the werewolf, and while he fed their parents one of the most cunning lies he had ever told, they found it hard to believe him. Their beloved son was now crippled for life, and that was all that mattered. Neo had only made things worse, and he hated Remus even more as result.

Those first several years were the worst of his life, Remus recalled, shuddering in his bed at the memories. When he transformed, his parents were forced to tie him up deep in the forest, where no one could see or hear him. The pain was incredible, as the change rearranged his entire body structure inside and out. His parents couldn't bear to see him in that state, so he suffered alone.

Neo always seemed to enjoy seeing Remus the day after, sneering at him with their parents weren't looking. Remus' entire view of his brother changed then, from complete admiration to total fear. Neo was full of hatred, envy, and revenge… and he took it out on the family. By his teen years, Neo's words cut straight to their parents' hearts. Their father especially. How the family was failing, how horrible they were… but they all endured it. When arrangements were made to let Remus attend Hogwarts after all, there was a feeling of relief and joy at the news. But Neo couldn't stand it. His verbal abuse gave way to physical violence. There were still two holes in his wall.

The past summer, Remus had expected Neo to finally leave the family once he turned 21. Their father encouraged him to go out into the world, if he was so disappointed by it that he should go out and try to make a difference. Mother had hope then… but as he saw her earlier that day, things had only gotten worse since.

There was a soft hoot at his window, and Remus sat up instantly to answer it. Quietly, he opened the latch and let the large tawny in.

"Zel," Remus whispered with a small smile to the bird. "How's James?"

He took the rolled piece of parchment from the owl's talons and opened it, taking his wand and uttering _Lumos_ to give some light. The letter was brief-

Moony,

My God your brother is such a git! Our parting at the station was not in the least how I expected we would depart for the last time from Hogwarts. Don't let the scum get you down… we're adults now and you can do as you please. I'm going to apparate to your house tomorrow around noon and we'll go get the others and have some fun, eh? How 'bout it? Too bad, I'm coming anyway. Neo does not scare me, nor should he scare you.

Prongs

Remus' smile broadened and he set the letter aside. Going over to his small desk, which was being propped up on one side by a stack of old textbooks, he took another piece of parchment and wrote a quick note.

Fine with me. Just don't let Neo see you pop out of nowhere in front of him. I'll see you, then.

Moony

"Be careful, Zel," Remus whispered to James' owl. He tied his note to its leg and shooed him out the window. Watching it disappear into the night, Remus reached up to close his window, when he noticed another owl approaching. Thinking it was an owl belonging to Sirius, Peter, or even Lily, he stood there poised with his hands on the sill and waited. When it came closer, Remus couldn't recognize the owl. It was a small screech owl, and instead of coming to his window, it went to _Neo's_.

Remus wasn't aware that Neo had any correspondents. He watched with complete wonder as the owl tapped urgently at his brother's closed window. When it finally flew open, Remus ducked away. He leaned up against his barren wall and listened intently for anything, but not a sound came from Neo's room that he could hear. A flash across his window made him dare to look back, and he could see the small outline of the owl retreating into darkness. He couldn't make out if it bore a reply.

When nothing more happened from Neo's direction, Remus shrugged and climbed back into bed. The thought of seeing James and his friends the next day eventually lulled him to sleep.

Remus' mother was in the same place he had left her the previous day when he walked into the kitchen the following morning. She sat in her usual place at the table, nearly hugging the near-empty wine bottle with one arm and holding a dirty glass in her opposite hand. Remus sighed softly and puttered around, looking for anything decent, or even _edible_, to eat. Grimacing at the sight of such filth, he decided against using a plate or any kind of utensil and decided to eat a cold bagel. The entire time, his mother didn't say a word.

He sat down in his usual chair and ate his bagel slowly, watching his mother's glazed eyes as they seemed to trace the lines on the wooden table. Not a sound could be heard, except for her jerky breathing and the ticking of the clock on the wall.

"I missed you, mother," Remus said after a while. He meant it, too. His mother was always comforting and supportive, even if she wasn't too talented at it.

Her gaze slowly lifted to his direction and she smiled, almost sadly.

"Oh, youngling, I don't recognize you anymore! You boys have grown up so fast. You've turned into a fine young man, just like your father, Remus. I'm glad you got to go to Hogwarts after all."

Remus couldn't help but let a faint smile slip, looking away and blushing as he usually did when his parents praised him. This was what his family should be… normal. It was such a normal statement from her.

"Your brother went out today," she continued, surprisingly. "I hope you can find something to entertain yourself."

His smile turned into a grin, and he looked back at her confidently.

"James is coming over today, and we're gonna go out. Will you be alright by yourself?" He wasn't entirely sure, after thinking a moment, that she should be alone.

"Oh, James! Such a fine boy, that Potter fellow. No, no, don't worry yourself, youngling, I'll be okay. You have a splendid time." Her smile revealed her teeth, which were yellow after not being brushed for so long. He tried not to let his expression waiver at the sight, another wave of anguish and pity hitting him.

He looked away instead, and his gaze fell on the chair that was where his father normally sat. His anguish and pity soon gave way to anger… anger at his father for abandoning mother like he did. He had stood up to Neo for all these years, why did he finally let him get to him? Remus almost opened his mouth to ask his mother where his father left to… but decided against it. After the previous day, he shouldn't upset her.

There was a sudden pop, and James appeared, standing on top of a pile of trash. He blanched and stuck out his tongue, stepping back and wiping off his shirt as if it had somehow gotten dirty.

"Remus? Remus… oh, my… God," James said, looking at the state the kitchen was in. "What happened?"

Remus blushed deeply and cleared his throat. His mother didn't seem to notice James had apparated into the room.

"I'll explain later," he said quickly, getting up.

James nodded, his face solemn, as he walked over to the table and faced Remus' mother. Remus couldn't see his expression, but he could tell that James was holding himself back at commenting about his mother as well.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lupin," James said politely, leaning down so she could notice he was there.

Remus' mother's head snapped up and she looked at James with surprise clearly on her face.

"James! Oh, how good to see you! My, you've grown too! I was just telling Remus how I can't recognize you boys anymore."

"You look… er…" James tried to find something to say, but he was so shocked at her condition that he merely nodded and said, "Thank you."

Remus grabbed his shoulder and pushed him aside so that he could kiss his mother on her cheek. She smiled and sat up straighter.

"You boys behave yourselves now," she called over her shoulder.

"I'll be back later, Mother," Remus said, as he and James apparated out of the kitchen.

Sirius and Peter were waiting for them when they disapparated just outside of Wales. Every summer, they met halfway from where they all lived, and this particular spot was in the middle of everyone. It was a grassy hill, overlooking a vast forest of trees. Not too far to the east was a small town, where they played out a lot of their practical jokes. Yet this spot was secluded enough for them to transform, including Remus at the full moon, and have their adventures.

James immediately turned to Remus when they appeared, his face flushed with concern.

"What on Earth is going on, Remus?" he asked incredulously. Sirius instantly strode up Remus, his face an inch away, his eyes narrowed.

"It's Neo, isn't it? I'll kill him… I will," he growled.

Remus put up his hands and shook his head.

"Guys, guys… calm down. Things have just… gone a little downhill since last summer."

"A _little_?" James rounded, his voice shrill. "Your kitchen looks like it hasn't been cleaned in decades and your mother is… your mother is…"

"Depressed," Remus muttered, looking away.

"More like manic depressive," James said more softly.

Peter walked up to them now, his eyes wide and jumpy. Remus sighed, turned around, and explained his home situation. About the house, about Neo, his mother, and… his father. They all listened in silence.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius shook his head, placing a strong hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, man."

"S'not your fault," Remus muttered.

"Your welcome to come by me, whenever, you know," James said. "My parents won't mind at all, we have more than enough room."

"Thanks," Remus couldn't help but smile.

"Well, enough of this," Sirius picked up his voice, making everyone stand up straighter. "Let's go make some mischief."

Mischief was something Remus had taken a while getting used to during his first few years at Hogwarts. Having Sirius and James as friends marked you as a troublemaker. Known as the Marauders, the small group caused so much mischief that they had their own file in the janitor's, Filch's, office.

And so it was mischief that was obviously planned as they walked up to Lily's house, having apparated to her small Muggle town a quarter of a mile away. Remus was instructed to knock on the door, as James and Sirius hid behind some bushes nearby. Peter, as always, was too excited and nervous to amount to anything useful, and so was told to go stand behind a tree and wait until they were through.

With a wistful grin on his face, Remus knocked firmly on the door and waited.

"Yes?" It was Lily's sister, Petunia. She was slightly taller than Lily, with short auburn hair and an upturned nose. Unlike her sister, she had piercing steel blue eyes that always gave the impression that she disliked everyone. Petunia stared at Remus hard, as if trying to remember him. He had to act quickly.

"Hello, I'm inquiring about the dog and the stag that you had advertised for sale." Remus turned on his most innocent look.

Petunia looked blank, her chin dropped slightly and she looked at him even harder.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you have the wrong house," she said smartly, and then tried to close the door before Remus put his hand through.

"Oh, well, then maybe that dog and that stag behind me belongs to someone else?"

There was a sudden bark behind him, and Sirius plowed straight through them and into the house before Petunia could so much as scream. Remus had to jump aside as James, transformed into his Animagus form, trotted regally after Sirius.

"YOU!" Petunia shrieked, recoiling away from Remus as if he were about to explode. "You're one of _them_!"

"Your sister wouldn't be home, would she? We can stick around if she isn't," Remus said, stepping into the house as Petunia turned to a sickly shade of green.

"How _dare_ you step foot into my house! If you so much as touch or even _breathe_ on anything I'll call the police!" Petunia flailed her arms around, bouncing on her feet like an excited dog. Remus ignored her and followed the sound of laughter to the living room, where Lily was petting Sirius and James was lounging back in his true form on the couch.

"Petunia! What's this I hear? You've found someone that you won't actually scowl at?" he cried cheerfully, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Lily! Get this _filth_ off the furniture! Get them _out_!" Petunia was now red with fury.

"Calm down before you hurt yourself, we're about to leave anyway. Right boys?" Lily patted Sirius' head and looked firmly at James and Remus.

"Oh, but Lil-lee," James drawled dramatically. "I thought we were going to have a big party in Petunia's honor! I've gone ahead and invited the entire Dwarfs Coalition to perform an Arthurian melodrama for us."

"How smashing!" Sirius said suddenly, popping back into human form. Petunia leapt into the air in fright and shrieked again.

"OUT! THIS MEANS ALL OF YOU! DON'T COME BACK! This is _it_, Lily! You can take care of yourself from now on! Mother and Father are gone because of _your_ sort… I disown you as my sister! Don't even bother packing your things, I want you out _NOW_!" Petunia's infuriated rage made everyone fall silent. Remus looked quickly to Lily, knowing how for over two years she had been battling the thought of being responsible for her parents' murder. With Petunia now deathly serious about kicking her out, she had no place to go.

James stood up, all humor gone, and took Lily gently by her shoulders.

"Come on, 'Lil. I've got you."

Remus followed them out, leering at Petunia as he went past. He didn't see what Sirius was doing behind him, but Petunia let out one unearthly scream before they left the house. The door slammed behind them, and Peter came out from behind the tree, his face concerned. When he opened his mouth to question, James held up his hand and shook his head warningly. Lily was silent, and Remus couldn't see her face.

"My place, okay?" James asked, although it was more like a statement. No one argued, and they silently disapparated.

The Potters were a very well respected old wizarding family, and there wasn't a Potter that lived that was known to be anything but kind and considerate. Remus knew that they had a fine sum of money, but he never knew them to exploit their resources. James did not act like a spoiled rich kid, much like a detestable boy they knew at Hogwarts named Lucius Malfoy.

James lived with his aging parents, being their only child after a long marriage of unsuccessful attempts at a family. He was their light in life, Remus could tell, for his true being was a miracle. James' parents always treated his friends like family, and Remus often found himself completely envious of James' perfect family life.

When they apparated in front of the Potters' large manor, smoke was rising merrily from the chimney and the smell of freshly made bread filled the air. James did not remove himself from Lily as they walked into the manor; Remus, Sirius, and Peter followed silently behind. House elves greeted them cheerfully at the door, and James requested some tea be brought for them. Without hesitation, the elves vanished and returned with tea, cakes, and cookies.

"Is that you, James dear?" came a soft voice from inside the sitting room.

"Yes, Mum. Everyone's here, too." James answered, leading them in.

Mrs. Potter was a very pretty woman, even still at her age. Her hair was already gray, and each wrinkle was result of years of laughter. She was shorter than James, but her pale blue eyes showed their kin. They hugged and Mrs. Potter's face instantly turned to concern as she went to kiss Lily in greeting.

"Why, Lily dear! What ever is the matter?"

"Her sister made the threat again," James explained.

"I'm sure she's serious now," Lily muttered, keeping her eyes low.

"Oh, my," Mrs. Potter gasped. She looked to Remus, her face still concerned.

"You look pale, Remus. It's not your brother again, is it?"

Remus raised his eyebrows in shock. Mrs. Potter always seemed to see right through him. Even with Lily obviously in trouble, she was still able to notice Remus too. He wasn't even aware that his preoccupation was visible.

"Not to worry, Mrs. Potter. I'm quite alright," he reassured her, but she did not look convinced.

"Tell me, Sirius," She said, turning to Sirius who was hovering toward the doorway. "You wouldn't have anything to do with provoking Lily's sister, would you?"

"It's not their fault, Mrs. Potter, honestly," Lily immediately jumped to their defense. "She had been upset since the day I came home. Now that I'm out of school, she no longer has obligation to house me. It's not their fault."

Mrs. Potter grimaced, but motioned for them to sit down and the tea was passed around. Lily went on to explain all that had happened since they had left Hogwarts, and Remus began to feel that he wasn't the only one that did not come home to what was expected.

"That settles it then," Mrs. Potter said firmly. "You can stay with us for as long as you need, dear."

Lily smiled and was caught between gratitude and declining.

"I don't want to impose,"

"Nonsense," Mrs. Potter laughed.

"It's not a problem," James grinned, and Lily elbowed him in the ribs.

"After all," Mrs. Potter continued, sipping at her tea. "You all start your new careers soon, am I right?"

Remus stiffened as everyone sort of nodded and averted their eyes away from him. For once, Mrs. Potter did not notice.

"Sorry to butt out, but I have an appointment," Peter suddenly announced, getting up.

"What's this?" Sirius looked at him sharply. "You never said anything about this before."

Peter's beady eyes wavered and his stout body fidgeted in place under their gaze.

"I… er… forgot, I'm sorry. See you." He left.

"How odd," Mrs. Potter looked suspicious. "That Peter is such a sweet boy, and yet such an oddball."

"Nah, he's alright," James smiled, picking up his teacup. "He's flighty, but I would trust him with my life."

Remus decided not to apparate directly into his house when he left his friends that evening. He had eaten dinner with the Potters, which had been highly amusing. Mr. Potter had come home from work wearing only a loincloth, and he insisted that he keep it on all through dinner so that he could explain exactly why he was dressed that way. Sirius broke into such a fit of giggles as Mr. Potter explained how he had lost a bet at the Ministry betting on how fast lobsters could run, that he fell out of his chair and caught a bad case of the hiccups. What ensued was Mrs. Potter insisting that she knew an old family recipe for getting rid of them, which resulted in Sirius turning daisy yellow for three hours. The hiccups still remained.

He was in such a happy mood, that Remus did not want to face his mother just yet. Nor did he want to see his brother. He had avoided all questions pertaining to his family at dinner; he did not want to think about them at all.

"Just because Lily is here," James had said as Remus made to leave. "Does not mean that you aren't welcome either. As soon as your brother gives you trouble, get out. I mean it, Remus."

_Then what_? Remus thought, passing the dark woods around him. _You become an Auror and I hang around your house_?

What could he do, should he decide to take Dumbledore's offer after all?

Remus was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the red blaze that rose above the trees. Yet, it was the smoke that got his attention shortly. Concerned, he looked up… and ran.

His entire house, surrounded by the ominous forest, was engulfed in flames. No one was around, the fire left to do its deadly work untouched. Remus was powerless. He tried all the spells he could think of, but nothing even so much as snuffed out a single flame. Defeated, he threw up his arms and sobbed.

There was no sign of his mother.

A hazy green light hovered above the wreckage. The image of a skull with a snake entwined around it loomed over the smoke like a malicious pall. Remus looked up and felt a shiver go down his spine. He knew that mark…

"Pity… she made no move to get out," said an amused voice behind him.

Slowly, fearfully, Remus turned and faced his brother. He was dressed in a hooded black cloak, grinning as if it was the best day of his life.

"You look surprised, dear brother," Neo taunted. "All the liquor made the fire so much bigger."

Without thinking, Remus lunged at him, but fell back as Neo backhanded him in the face.

"Mother and Father were so convinced that you would be the successful one," Neo growled. "How wrong they were. It was their dear number one son after all. Things are changing, _youngling_… perhaps you should think about which side is the winning side."

He laughed then, and turned into the woods, disappearing in the darkness. Remus, clutching his heaving chest for air, his left cheek red from Neo's powerful blow, watched him leave. 

His home fell into cinders, and the ash blew away with the wind.

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Author's Note: What do you think? _Please leave a review_!

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Orca On the Web: I now have my own archive! Go to [http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html][1] to visit _Lumos_, my new official archive. For author news, summaries, and a lot more, visit _The World of Renee Potter_ at [][2]http://www.theworldofreneepotter.disneyfansites.com . At both sites, you can now automatically join my mailing list.

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Next, in Chapter 3: How will Remus handle the death of his mother, the destruction of his home, and the obvious realization that his brother has become a Death Eater? There's only one thing he can do…

**__**

"This life's dim windows of the soul

Distorts the heavens from pole to pole

And leads you to believe a lie

When you see with, not through, the eye."

- William Blake (_The Everlasting Gospel_)

~OrcaPotter

[OrcaMorph@aol.com][3]

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   [1]: http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html
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   [3]: mailto:OrcaMorph@aol.com



	3. The Order of the Phoenix

Chapter Three ****

Title: _Message In the Ashes_ Chapter 3: _The Order of the Phoenix_

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Author: OrcaMorph (OrcaPotter)

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Author's Email: OrcaMorph@aol.com 

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House: The Dark Arts

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Category: Drama/Angst

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Keywords: Lupin The Order of the Phoenix MWPP

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Spoilers: PoA

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Rating: PG

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Summary: Lupin makes the decision to accept Dumbledore's invitation to join _The Order of the Phoenix_. While he tries to cope with his mother's death and the obvious fact that his brother is a Death Eater, another tragic event takes place. It's cause for those of the Order to come together ahead of schedule and reinstate the ancient rite…

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Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros, Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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Author's Note: _Please_ review when you are done, feedback is greatly appreciated and those that provide it are loved forever… Special thanks go out to my beta readers, RavenNat and 007! Visit my websites, The World of Renee Potter and Lumos: OrcaPotter's Official Archive

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Chapter Three

_The Order of the Phoenix_

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Remus stood in front of Professor Dumbledore, his eyes red from no sleep and all the tears that he had shed. He kept his face straight, looking at the old wizard with a furious calm. Dumbledore kept his expression placid, with his hands folded over his desk, regarding Remus with his twinkling eyes.

"This is your decision," Dumbledore said quietly. "However, keep in mind as to the reason why you've made it."

Remus kept his back straight, looking down at him, his gaze unwavering.

"I'm certain, Professor."

Dumbledore gave him one last scrutinizing look before he sighed and nodded. He reached into a drawer and pulled out something small and golden.

"Wear this," he said, handing it to Remus. "It will not only identify you as one of the Order, but protect you as well. Wear it someplace where it can't be seen unless you choose to show it."

It was a small pin in the shape of a phoenix, made of a strange golden metal Remus could not identify. His expression saddened somewhat as he fastened it onto the pocket under his wizarding robes. As the cloth fell back upon his chest, he could feel the pressure of the pin and an unusual warmth from it.

"Go back to James' house now," Dumbledore said with a brighter tone. "I will let you know when we shall meet, shortly."

Remus nodded and left the office, hearing the stone gargoyle slide back into place as he stepped away. As the loud grounding sound stopped, he felt a sudden feeling of assurance. He had a purpose now, he had direction. He was _needed_. It was a feeling Remus seldom had before; certainly he never felt it at home. And now his home was gone forever… his mother and father gone, his brother at large.

_How is it possible_? Remus thought as he left the castle and prepared to disapparate. _Neo is a Squib… how could he be a Death Eater_?

When he told Professor Dumbledore what had happened, the wizened wizard had no more clues than Remus did. Was it possible that Neo had magical talent after all that only now came into power? Or did he acquire magic from somewhere or someone… from Voldemort? Either way, Remus was almost not surprised that Neo had joined his evil forces. Everything he could possibly want he would believe Voldemort would grant him. It was these sorts of lies that lured Voldemort's followers into his power, anyway.

James was waiting for him as Remus apparated to his house, the morning sun now clearly risen into the new day. His face solemn, James ushered Remus inside and into the kitchen, where some house elves hurriedly prepared him some breakfast.

"How do you feel?" James asked quietly after a long while, looking kindly at him.

Remus took another sip of orange juice and stared into the glass, taking a moment to consider his reply.

"I'm… I'm not sure, actually," he said softly.

A grandfather clock could be heard ticking in the hallway outside of the dining room, where they sat basked in the morning light from the large glass windows. Lily, apparently, was still asleep upstairs. James' father had already gone for work, and his mother had gone with him. Exactly why, James was not sure.

James drummed his fingers softly on the highly polished large wooden table. Remus stared at the elaborate floral arrangement at its center, and said nothing.

"So..." James said slowly, cautiously. "Did he give you one?"

It took a moment for Remus to realize what he meant. Setting down his glass, he patted the part of his robes where the pin was hidden. He could still feel that odd warmth it radiated. Perhaps it always felt that way.

James nodded knowingly and looked away, seemingly at a loss for words. The quiet continued, even after the house elves had come to collect Remus' used dishes when he was through. 

"He said that we would meet soon, with the others." Remus had gone suddenly uncomfortable with the silence. James nodded again.

"Yes, that's right. Although, we don't know when."

"There you are." Lily appeared in the doorway, still wearing her nightgown, her long red hair in a mess. "I thought I heard you two down here."

"We didn't wake you, I hope," James said, smiling at her as she sat down. Some house elves abruptly appeared, and Lily politely asked for some juice and toast. Bowing happily, the elves retreated to the kitchen and returned with more than she asked for.

"Goodness, no," Lily said lightly, buttering her toast. "I needed to get up, it's much too late."

She looked at Remus then, and her brilliant green eyes focused on him in concern. It was her that had heard Remus' cries from the front lawn the night before; she refused to leave him until he fell asleep. Yet he couldn't sleep… and he only pretended to do so, so that she could rest. He had made the decision during that time that he had to join the Order of the Phoenix. James had supported his decision as Remus left early that morning.

Remus gave her a tired smile to reassure her, and she reached across and took his hand.

"You're with friends now, Remus. Don't worry," she said softly.

There was a sudden pop, and Sirius stood standing in his pajamas behind Lily with a muddled expression on his face.

"I came as soon as I heard!" he said groggily, fumbling around to face Remus properly. "My God, Remus, are you alright? I'll kill that no good excuse of a human being, I swear it..."

James' face fell into his upturned palm, shaking his head.

"Padfoot… I sent you that owl last night. You mean to tell me you only got it now?"

Sirius looked genuinely sheepish, averting his eyes.

"I didn't go straight home last night… er…" he trailed vaguely.

Everyone raised their brows, looking at Sirius intently.

"_What_? Where did you go?" James asked, bewildered.

"Er…" Sirius muttered, twiddling his thumbs. "I went out for a few pints, that's all…"

"_Sirius,_" Lily chided sternly.

"I have you know I'm completely sober! You know I wouldn't go as far as to get myself drunk. It took me a while because I ran into Wormtail at the pub I was at," Sirius defended himself strongly.

"Wormtail? At a pub?" Remus said, surprised.

"I was upset, mind you, that he ducked out on us yesterday just so that _he_ could have cold one. So, I cornered him and he went all buggy on me," Sirius continued tersely.

James shook his head and smiled slightly.

"That's not too unusual. He probably had a date that happened to be in the pub. You probably startled him so that he naturally went all whacked out on you."

"Oh, come on now, Prongs… this is _Wormtail_ we're talking about!" Sirius looked at him seriously. "Him? Have a date?"

"Don't be so biased, Sirius." Lily rolled her eyes at him. "Peter is just as capable of having dates as you are. So, in that case, I would be careful with my meaning."

James laughed as Sirius looked put out, folding his arms and giving them all beseeching looks. Remus found himself laughing along with them, his thoughts momentarily distracted.

"Well, girl or no girl, his 'date' was not there when I came across him," Sirius said smugly.

"So, what time _did_ you get home, Padfoot?" James asked him.

"Er..." Sirius muttered. "Can't remember. But that doesn't matter now, what matters is Moony."

Remus was reminded again about what had happened and what he had decided, and his laughing smile died. Everyone's humor seemed to dissipate as Sirius' attention now focused on him. He sat down on his other side, his expression imploring.

"I'm fine, really." Remus tried to avoid the subject, but that was pointless.

Sirius was plainly not convinced, and he looked over to James. Remus closed his eyes, so he did not see the wordless conversation his friends were having over his head. Whatever was decided, it was to let go of the issue. Sirius asked nothing more.

"Get dressed, won't you?" Lily said suddenly. "I can only handle looking at your heart printed pajamas for so long."

Remus looked up then just in time to see Sirius blush furiously. James exploded into a fit of giggles as Sirius tried his best to look dignified as he abruptly disapparated.

"They weren't heart shaped," Remus pointed out after thinking a moment. "It was polka dotted."

"You sure?" Lily asked slyly, her smile infectious. "He didn't deny it when I pointed it out."

It wasn't until later that week that Remus was able to talk about what had happened without much difficulty. His concern over Neo intensified so much that he had to bring it up. Neo knew all of Remus' friends, and if he was now truly in fact a Death Eater somehow, there was a risk that he may come after them. James, however, was not as concerned as Remus felt he should.

"There are all sorts of spells around the house, I wouldn't worry too much," James said casually after dinner.

"But he could lead _him_ right to us… you know _he_ has that sort of power," Remus stressed, walking with him into the sitting room.

"James… he has a point," Lily said, following them with a tray of tea.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," James soothed, taking her arm and pulling her down next to him on the couch. Remus sighed, sitting back into the armchair across from them. He took a cup of tea and dipped some lemon into it, his eyes fixated on the wall.

"What we need is some good ol' fashioned goofing off before we set off to work… whenever that will be," James said brightly, trying to cheer them up.

"I dunno." Remus glanced at him mildly. "The last time we did that it didn't end altogether that well, did it?"

James grimaced and Lily said nothing, looking down at her own cup of tea.

"Yeah, well… I was thinking more along the lines of seeking out Snape and replacing his shampoo with honey." James recovered himself.

Remus saw Lily shake with silent laughter and he rolled his eyes at James.

"We've done that five times already," Remus muttered, hiding his own growing smile. "Running out of ideas, eh, Prongs?"

"He didn't notice the last time we did it," James said, his grin broad. "Took him twice as long to find out!"

"Only because _that one_ over there diluted the honey down with water right after you switched the bottles," Remus pointed out, setting his cup down and eyeing Lily, who was now laughing heartily.

"Hey, I owed him a favor… it was the least I could do," Lily managed to say between giggles. James looked at her, surprise clearly shown on his face.

"You owed him a _what_?"

Lily took a moment to quiet herself, probably uncomfortable that both Remus and James were looking at her with questioning expressions. She cleared her throat, stirred her tea, and averted her eyes.

"I didn't want to say anything," she said quietly. "If I had told you then you would have gone bonkers."

"What did _he_ do for you?" James asked with forced calm. Lily shook her head with exasperation.

"He just so happened to notice us sneaking around the castle that one night you all decided to superimpose Filch's cat to his forehead while he was sleeping! He caught me by the arm as all of you disappeared into the common room. I made him promise not to tell, so I owed him one," Lily explained angrily. 

James' eyes also narrowed in a huff, staring intensely at her. Remus looked away and swallowed. This was getting ugly.

"He's the biggest slimy git the world has ever known! How _could you_ exchange _favors_?"

Lily stood up and put her hands on her hips, glaring down at James.

"I did it for _you_! Excuse me for saving your sorry butt!"

Before James could retort, Lily stomped out of the room, her footfalls purposefully heavy on the stairs to the first floor. The air was full of negative tension, as Remus tentatively looked at James. His already untidy black hair was bristled in contempt, his cheeks flushed and his eyes blazing. Remus was at a loss for words; he had no idea what to do.

"Well if I never… had no right… she has no idea… it's not _my _fault…" James mumbled angrily.

"Er…" Remus pulled at his collar, setting his teacup down. "Maybe I'll go talk to her."

"I won't stop you," James folded his arms and crossed his legs, his left foot wiggling in frustration. "It's her problem, not mine."

Remus shook his head at him, keeping his own retort to himself. James was acting highly unreasonable. Lily had every right to be vexed at him. He knew it was his pride, but he also knew that James had a compassionate conscience. It wouldn't take long for his feelings to become overwhelmed with guilt, and no doubt Lily will be showered with gifts and sucked up to for the next three weeks. Remus left James to his own self-arguments and went upstairs. 

The hallway was quiet, but as he approached the room Lily was staying in, he could hear soft cries from inside. He gently knocked on the door and Lily went silent momentarily.

"I don't want to talk to you," she snapped, her voice heavy.

"It's me… Remus," he called to her softly through the door.

Silence again, before he could hear her walk up to the door and put a hand on the doorknob.

"If James is with you, forget about it," she croaked from behind the wood.

Remus sighed, his eyes to the crack under the door where he could see her shadow.

"No, just me."

There was another pause before the door creaked open slightly. Remus let himself in, closing the door behind him as Lily sat down on her bed, facing away.

Her room was richly furnished. About a dozen candles were blazing on top of the various dressers and small tables that were there. The large four poster bed had bedding in a stylish floral print. Lily had thrown the various pillows upon the floor, most likely in her anger. The window was open, and the breeze was causing the small candle flames to flicker violently. Remus walked over and closed it, immediately stilling the air.

"You have every right to be upset," Remus said quietly, fixing the curtains that had been blown about by the wind.

He didn't hear her say anything, but he thought he heard her grunt in contempt. Leaning against the sill, Remus folded his arms over his chest and stared at the top of his brown leather shoes. He decided not to continue, and see if Lily would come out and vent her discontent without being provoked.

Perhaps it was working, for Lily was stirring on her bed with growing impatience. She looked over at him, and he raised his eyes to meet hers. The bright green color her eyes held were blurred by tears that had yet to fall.

"He can be so ridiculous!" she growled, clutching a pillow to her chest tightly.

Remus nodded and smiled softly.

"You know him just as well as I do," he whispered. "Most likely even more."

Lily grimaced and looked away.

"Yeah, well, that still does not give him the right to be so mad for no reason."

Remus lifted his chin and gave her a sideways glance, carefully choosing his words.

"Are you sure there isn't a reason?"

She looked at him sharply.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, think about it. Why _is_ he so upset?" Remus uncrossed his arms and put them behind his back.

Lily averted her eyes a moment, seemingly in thought.

"I dunno… because I consorted with his greatest enemy?"

"I'm not sure if that's the _entire_ reason," Remus looked at her kindly.

She fidgeted a little, looking down at her hands.

"He's _jealous_," he said.

"Jealous of what?" Lily looked genuinely surprised.

"Snape had that crush on you, remember? James is afraid of loosing you," he said gently.

Lily slowly turned red and looked away again, her agitation diminishing. He could tell by the way she held her head that she was feeling somewhat ashamed.

"I would _never_ be disloyal to James. Never," she whispered firmly.

"Maybe he needs a little reminder, a little reassurance. You know how us guys are." Remus smiled at her softly.

Lily was silent for a few moments, before she took a great breath and sighed. She looked relaxed and the fury she held before was gone. Another minute later, she got up and walked over to face Remus.

"Guys are such wimps," she muttered, and she kissed him on the cheek. "And girls can occasionally be a little naïve."

"Occasionally?" Remus laughed, and she hit him on the shoulder.

He escorted her out of the room and back downstairs. Both of them were grinning slightly as they entered the sitting room, but their expressions quickly fell when they saw James. He was standing by the fireplace, supporting himself with one hand on the hearth as he held a letter shakily with the other.

"James? What's wrong?" Lily asked immediately, going over to him.

He turned, his face red and his eyes watery. It took him a moment to find his voice.

"Something… wrong…" he managed to say, before Lily put her arms around him. Remus walked over and took the letter from his shaking hand, reading it over quickly, before he looked up at James with wide eyes.

"Oh my…"

"What is it?" Lily asked again, concern squeaking her voice.

She supported James with one arm as Remus handed her the letter, and her reaction was no different.

"Oh, James…"

It was a letter from Dumbledore, written hastily not more than an hour before. Death Eaters, who started an attack, had penetrated the Ministry somehow. The Potters were in the line of fire, and after felling some of the intruders, got killed by the _Avada Kadavera_ curse. Everything is in chaos, and James, Lily, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were to report to Hogwarts for an emergency meeting.

"We don't have time, we have to go…" James said quickly, forcing a calm composure and removing Lily from him.

Lily looked quickly to Remus, who could only nod and follow James out of the room. They gathered their wizarding robes and prepared to disapparate. Remus checked to make sure the pin of the Order was still securely fastened onto his robe inside pocket, before he followed in the wake of James and Lily, apparating to Hogwarts.

A storm had gathered over the castle grounds, lightning and thunder ominous in the sky. Rain was beginning to fall as Remus followed the others into the castle. He couldn't help but notice a sense of foreboding, looking around the familiar corridors that weren't entirely lit. No one said a word; the only sounds were the quick footsteps on the stone, the thunder, and the rain starting to pelt on the roof. James led the way, with Lily close at his heels. Remus kept a little distance, in case Sirius or Peter showed up behind them. Yet, to his surprise, when they reached Dumbledore's office, Sirius and Peter were already there.

"James…" Sirius started immediately, but Dumbledore quickly raised a hand for silence.

"Come with me, the others are already here."

They watched as the old wizard went to his bookcase, tilted back a rather small volume of _Ancient Magic Made Not-So-Ancient_, and the bookcase suddenly moved to the side, revealing a doorway. He walked through, beckoning to them to follow. James immediately went after him, with Lily close behind. Sirius glanced at Remus before he followed too. As Remus moved to join them, he looked at Peter. The stout young man looked pale, afraid even. This was not unusual; Peter was afraid of his own shadow.

"C'mon, Peter," Remus said to him, moving past.

Peter's jaw moved up and down, before he nodded and slowly walked behind Remus as he went inside. The doorway was magically shut behind them, and the room they had entered now came fully into light.

It was not unlike what one would expect out of a story of King Arthur and The Round Table. The room itself was shaped circular, like Dumbledore's office. Remus thought it must have been another tower, hidden from view on the grounds. There were no windows, but every foot or so there was a large torch, brilliantly lit. At its center was a large round table made of what looked like hand-carved mahogany. The legs had elaborate carvings of phoenixes in every stage of its life. He couldn't see them clearly, but he could almost make out words carved around the circumference.

His gaze finally took him to those that were already seated at the table as James and the others sat down. There were seventeen seats in all, the one right across from Remus being taken by Dumbledore. The other seats besides the five that Remus and his friends had taken, held eleven people Remus either didn't know or didn't know too well. A tall man with brown hair and rectangle shaped spectacles nodded as Remus' gaze fell upon him. The woman next to him, who looked about middle aged, held such a severe expression, that, if he didn't know any better, he would have thought he did something to have offended her. He quickly looked to the couple next to her, which he recognized as Frank Longbottom and the girl that he had been frequently seen with at Hogwarts. Frank was two years older than Remus, and had graduated at the top of his class in Gryffindor. He was gracious enough to smile faintly at Remus, which he returned gratefully.

"You all know why I called you here early," Dumbledore started before Remus could survey the rest of the room. Remus could tell that he was trying not to look directly at James, who was looking up at him just like everyone else, his expression unreadable. "I'm afraid that the recent events have proven that things are getting progressively worse very quickly."

He paused, then continued when no one said anything.

"The Death Eaters who managed to get into the Ministry of Magic Headquarters in London have all but one been apprehended. The damage is… severe. I have been requested by the Minister to reinstate the Order now, a few weeks early.

"You will work as a group, as a team, as an Order should be. I purposefully chose veteran Aurors to help train the new adults, who have no experience battling the Dark Arts in real world situations. Fletcher… Figg… I'm counting on your expertise to help your younger comrades," Dumbledore looked at the older man and woman Remus had observed first. They nodded grimly at Dumbledore, their eyes fixed upon him.

"The key is to work together as one, for divided we fall. I trust each and every one of you, thus you should trust each other. Are we all agreed?" Dumbledore looked at each of them in turn.

Everyone murmured their agreement, and Dumbledore nodded. He took out his wand and raised it over the table.

"Then, I, Albus Dumbledore, reinstate the Order of the Phoenix. Those that go against the principles of the ancient rite, may they suffer their due justice. Let the flames of truth unite those of the Order. Place your right hand on the table and state your name."

One by one, sixteen hands fell upon the wood, and sixteen names were called. A sudden flare of light flashed across the table as Remus held his hand there and said his name. It disappeared over the table's edge, and the words that Remus couldn't make out before slowly began to become clear.

The light of truth light the way

Those of darkness hence shall pay

Order rise together all as one

Banish evil to which it's from

There was another flash of light above him, and Remus looked over to Dumbledore, where his own phoenix sat on his shoulder. Remus remembered Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix, from his many visits to his office. He hadn't considered that the bird would have a part in this. 

"You all are now officially of the Order," Dumbledore said to them. "You forever shall be, even after the light of the words of the rite fade. They shall continue to shine until our purpose for reinstating it has been fulfilled. Let us hope that that is not too long in coming."

He lowered his wand and sat down, looking worn out as if he had been running up and down the stairs all day. Not a single person spoke, but merely looked at Dumbledore in apprehension. What now?

"Your first task," he said finally. "Is simply to be on the alert for any more attacks. You all will be a part of the already tight security at the Ministry. As a member of the Order of the Phoenix, you have top seniority. If you are questioned, simply show your pin to whoever is challenging you. Everyone of importance knows of the Order's existence. If you are still given trouble, anyone who interferes with an Order member faces a serious offense. Now, however, only the Minister of Magic himself can issue the authorization of the Unforgivables. He hasn't done so yet, but I'm afraid that it won't be long until he does. Until then, use everything to your knowledge. Any questions?"

Remus, if given a moment, could come up with a thousand questions, he seemed. Yet, he was afraid of looking like an idiot, or a fool, for no one else raised their voice. There was a soft cough from the far end of the table from him, and Remus could see two twin women looking uncomfortable in their seats. Still, they said nothing, and Dumbledore took a deep breath.

"Then, we shall be in touch. I will send you an owl with your first assignment promptly, as soon as things at the Ministry are ready."

He stood up again then, and this time everyone did the same. The first to leave were the man and woman Dumbledore had referred to as Fletcher and Figg. They opened the secret doorway by simply placing a hand on the door, and it slid to the side. Frank Longbottom smiled at Remus, before taking the girl next to him by the hand and leaving as well. The other seven left the room. Only Remus, James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter were left with Dumbledore.

"James," Dumbledore started quietly after a few minutes when no one said anything. "I give you my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your parents were incredible people. There would have been many more killed had it not been for their bravery."

Remus looked carefully at James, who simply stared ahead of him in his seat. Lily had placed her hand on top of his. The others held stricken faces.

"What of the Death Eater that got away?" Sirius asked severely, his arms crossed.

Dumbledore sighed and averted his eyes.

"I'm not sure. This particular one was very strange."

"Strange?" Remus snapped. "Strange in what way?"

For a fleeting moment, Dumbledore looked at him with an intense glare, before looking down at his weathered hands, shaking his head.

"He or she didn't do anything. Just stood aside and watched, it seemed. It's possible that this individual was new and inexperienced, instructed not to do anything, or even didn't know _what_ to do."

"So what does that mean?" James asked hoarsely.

"It means that we don't know," Dumbledore looked up at him sadly.

Remus examined each of his friends, before finally studying Dumbledore. It struck him that his old headmaster could look so aged, and the recent events certainly had taken a toll. But what of this Death Eater? Could it have been… Neo? The thought horrified him and confused him even more.

"James," Dumbledore continued unwavering now. "Your parents had a separate safe at Gringotts that contained their will and other important documents. You should retrieve them as soon as you can. Just ask the head goblin and give them your regular vault key. I also give you permission to back out of the first task of the Order."

"No," James answered quickly and firmly, his eyes locked on Dumbledore. "I'll report to the Ministry tomorrow like everyone else."

Dumbledore nodded slightly.

"Very well. If that is what you wish to do. Now, all of you go home and get some rest. Tomorrow is the start of fate; may it favor good over evil."

He rose from his seat then, and everyone stood up. James left first, closely followed by Lily. Sirius frowned and followed suit. Peter hesitated, scuttling out as if the room had suddenly filled with a foul stench. Remus thought that unusual behavior, but then again, it wasn't that unusual with Peter. 

As he himself turned to leave, Dumbledore stopped him.

"Just a moment, Remus, if you don't mind."

Remus raised an eyebrow, before turning back to face him. Dumbledore was examining him as if he could see right to his soul. The expression made Remus shift from foot to foot uncertainly.

"I know what you're thinking," Dumbledore whispered. "But we can't jump to conclusions. We don't have enough information yet. The more pressing matter, I'm afraid, is of _your_ role as a member."

The way Dumbledore phrased it, he made it seem as if Remus was a hired hit man.

"Very soon, you will be approached by a woman who refers to herself as 'Beta'. My sources tell me that she is second in command of a vastly growing support group of werewolves that have recently signed an agreement with Voldemort. Now, you know werewolves have a very bad reputation with the wizarding community. I don't need to explain those details to you. What you need to be prepared for is her proposition to you."

"Proposition? Sir, how does she even know about me to begin with? I don't know any other werewolves," Remus asked, slightly puzzled.

Dumbledore cocked an eye at him.

"You mean to tell me that you are not familiar with your own werewolf physiology?"

Remus blushed a deep red and said nothing. It was not a subject he was eager to research. The most he knew was how to endure the monthly changes and the side effects that resulted. But, what did his physiology have to do with anything?

"Think about it," Dumbledore pressed, leaning toward him. "How do you think female wolves find mates?"

"She isn't going to sniff my crotch!" Remus started, wide eyed.

Dumbledore let out a snort, and quickly gained back his composure.

"Perhaps you should go do some research. But when this woman _does_ approach you, agree and go along with everything she says. Report to me with anything that should happen. Understood?"

Remus nodded, completely and wholeheartedly embarrassed. His cheeks retained their deep crimson color even after he stepped past the secret doorway. Dumbledore had stayed behind, and to Remus' surprise his friends were waiting for him in Dumbledore's office.

"What'd he say?" Sirius asked him, his brows raised at Remus' red complexion. "What? Was your fly open or something?"

Remus groaned and simply looked at him.

"Oh, shut up."

The chapter has ended.


	4. Members of the Rite

Chapter Three 

Title: _Message In the Ashes _Chapter Four: Members of the Rite

Author: OrcaMorph (OrcaPotter)

Author's Email: OrcaMorph@aol.com 

House: The Dark Arts

Category: Drama (Angst)

Keywords: Remus Lupin Sirius Order of the Phoenix Ministry Motorcycle

Spoilers: PoA

Rating: PG

Summary: Life at James' house becomes darker as James copes with the murder of his parents. When Remus goes out for a drink with Sirius one night before the next full moon, they come across a suspicious group with a clue Remus would rather not have. Before the night is out, Remus and Sirius end up taking the ride of their lives…

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Author updates and news can be found at The World of Renee Potter. You can join Orca's mailing list via the form there as well.

****

Chapter Four

_Members of the Rite_

Remus would always remember the look on James' face for the first few weeks after his parents' deaths. He felt like he was a burden to have to live with him, standing in the shadows as James received visits from those who wanted to personally address their condolences. The Potter household, normally bright and warm, became dark and solemn as James' grief continued. Remus had to remind himself not to mention his feelings of intrusion to him, less it would anger his friend. James was adamant that Remus was no less than a brother. This was the highest complement that Remus had ever received, and he felt extremely honored. Yet, after James' brief smiled faded back into the dark emotional pain, Remus couldn't help but remember his own mother's death. His own mother's murder.

"I don't understand it, Moony," James whispered to him hoarsely one evening. Lily had gone to bed early.

"Understand what, Prongs?" Remus asked kindly, stirring some lemon into his tea. 

"Why people kill." James stared at the ceiling, lying on his back on the sofa.

Remus frowned, setting his spoon down on the saucer he was holding. He looked down into the brown tinted liquid, watching the lemon continue to swirl around slowly, coming to rest.

"No one knows, no one ever will," he whispered.

James turned his head to him then, his expression insisting.

"You don't realize how strong you are, Moony. This pain… this pain is… consuming. The loss is almost too much to bear. I don't know how you deal with it."

Remus looked up at him, James' face threatening to draw back into tears once more. He sighed, and shook his head.

"I've come so used to pain, that I've become numb."

James sat up and ran his hands through his messy black hair. There were rings around his eyes, not unlike Remus' after a transformation. Looking at him, the state James was in, it only reminded Remus that the full moon came tomorrow night.

"I'm taking Lily to get the rest of her things tomorrow," James said suddenly, his head turned to the window with a blank gaze.

"Good luck getting through the door." Remus forced a light tone.

"She waited this long just for that purpose," James muttered.

"Lily… she did a good job, organizing things, I mean," Remus said quietly.

James took a deep breath and looked at the floor, nodding remotely.

"Yeah… couldn't have done it without her. She's… she's too good to me."

"Well, nothing's too good for love," Remus said. James looked at him then with what was becoming a rare smile. A look that he had not seen on him for weeks overcame James, almost wistful.

"I would do the same for her."

"You already have," Remus stated quietly.

As if on cue, Lily slowly walked into the room. She looked a little distressed, her eyes wide and puffy and her hair tangled more than usual after getting out of bed. Both Remus and James turned to her, their faces concerned.

"I'm sorry, were we too loud?" Remus asked curtly.

Lily shook her head and looked down to the floor with an almost downtrodden expression. James got up and put his arms around her shoulders.

"What's wrong? You're not worried about tomorrow, are you?" he asked, holding her close. Lily buried her face under his chin and into his neck, her response muffled.

"N-no… just… I just had a bad dream, 's all."

James momentarily glanced at Remus before closing his eyes and leaning into her, sighing. Remus looked away, feeling slightly intrusive.

"Can I sit with you?" Lily asked quietly.

"Of course you can!" James almost laughed, leading her over to the sofa and sitting down with her. "Don't be silly."

Remus sort of twiddled his thumbs as everyone went quiet, just staring around, looking for something to say. After a few minutes, Remus made to break the ice, before a pop announced someone's arrival by apparation in the foyer. Sirius walked in a moment later, dressed as if he were about to go out to dinner. He stopped, staring at them all with a bemused expression, as they stared back.

"Okay," Sirius said slowly. "Perhaps I picked a wrong time, but I was thinking that it's been a very long while since we've gone out and figured we should do something tonight."

Everyone blinked. James looked torn between agreeing and disagreeing, glancing sideways at Lily.

"You go, Remus," James said suddenly, turning to him. "I think I'll stay here with Lily."

Sirius ducked his hands into his pockets, looking imploringly at Remus.

"You, my friend, need a drink," he said.

Remus shook his head.

"I'm not partial to alcohol."

"No, you're gonna have yourself a nice pint of decent brew if I have to shove it down your throat. Then we're going to get yourself a girl-"

"Oh, no!" Remus started, shaking his head vigorously.

"-Oh, yes. Yes, and I think you are going to accompany me on a little mission I have recently decided I'm going to pursue." Sirius smiled mischievously. James raised an eyebrow.

"Who is it, and how much damage are you going to make without me?" he asked.

"For once I'm not going to vandalize public property. You know I wouldn't do that without _you_, Prongs." Sirius looked at him pointedly. "This is something I've been saving up for since before I left for Hogwarts in my first year. It's taken this long because it requires Muggle money."

"Muggle money?" Lily said, her voice slightly groggy. "What do you need with Muggle money for?"

"If I can pull this off, you'll soon see. Now, come on, Moony… Happy Hour starts in 30 minutes."

Remus looked to James almost desperately for an excuse not to go out gallivanting around the countryside with Sirius alone. It was usually James that kept him in check. Yet, James was the one who had suggested he go without him and Lily, so, much to his reluctance, Remus got up and fetched his coat.

"Happy Hour?" Remus asked him skeptically, as they prepared to disapparate. James and Lily got up to see them out; both were wearing highly amused expressions.

"You'll love it, trust me." Sirius clapped him on the back jovially, slipping his own coat on.

Remus rolled his eyes and gave one last hopeless look at James before he and Sirius disapparated.

They apparated to a desolate looking backyard, that after a moment, Remus recognized as the one belonging to the pub known as The Leaky Cauldron. A few stray tin garbage cans littered the area around the brick wall, which he knew led to Diagon Alley. He had come by this way before a few times to fetch his school things. It almost troubled him that he would not be returning there this year to get them.

"Tom'll be glad to see you!" Sirius smiled at him, tugging at his coat before walking through the back entrance to the pub. Remus smoothed out the ripples he had caused before following.

As soon as he was through the door, though, he walked straight into Sirius' back. Confused and slightly annoyed, Remus pushed himself beside him to see why he had stopped.

"Now, why did-"

"You lads better move off to somewhere else tonight," blustered Tom the innkeeper and bartender. He was holding a normal sweeping broom and was trying to shoo them out. Something about the air didn't smell right to Remus' keen sense.

"What's up? What's with this, Tom?" Sirius looked slightly harassed.

Tom's face was tight, his eyes wild and worried. He kept looking back behind him as if he were being followed.

"Just a minor problem… should have it fixed by morning..."

Sirius looked at Remus, his hand moving to the place under his coat where the pin of the Order was kept. Remus nodded, and they both flipped open their robes to show Tom their pins. 

"You better let us take a look, Tom," Sirius said. Tom's eyes went slightly wider at the sight of their pins. He shook his head before moving aside, sighing.

"I had no idea you boys were with that lot... forgive me."

Remus gave him a reassuring smile as they walked past into the parlor. 

"No worries, Tom."

He followed Sirius into the bar, when he started to hear a lot of rough voices. However, when they came into the view of the many tables around the counter, there wasn't a single person in the entire pub. Sirius stopped dead and looked at Remus, confused.

"Tom? Weren't there people just in here?" He called behind him.

They heard Tom's broom clatter to the floor, before he scuttled to stand beside them. His face was just as befuddled as theirs.

"I-I don't understand… there was a whole lot of nasty folk in here that demanded to be left alone. I couldn't let anyone into the building! They must've disapparated, eh?"

Remus went to look around the tables. There certainly were people there before; there were bottles and mugs littering the tabletops, chairs were strewn aside. His keen sense of smell told him that they had been consuming more than just alcohol. He wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Whoever they were, they did not want to get caught," he said, walking back over to Sirius and Tom. Tom frowned, grabbed a rag from the counter, and went to clean up.

"Well, you two better go… I have a job on my hands here. Maybe you could- wait a moment, what's this?" He bent down to the floor and picked up a money clip. Turning it in his hands, Sirius walked over and took it from him.

"It has initials on it," he said, peering closely. "N.L."

Remus felt his throat close. He grabbed the bar counter for support. It couldn't have been…

Sirius only glanced at Remus with an unreadable expression before calmly placing it in his pocket.

"I'll take this in for evidence, Tom. They can be prosecuted for their actions by the Ministry. You take it easy."

They left Tom to tend the mess in the bar and walked back out into the backyard. Both of them didn't say anything, before Sirius sighed and turned to Remus.

"Let's go to The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade. Maybe we can actually get a drink there. The other place of business I need to tend to just so happens to be not far from there."

Sirius disapparated, but Remus waited a moment more. It was obvious Sirius suspected who that group was, but was refusing to say and instead of immediately going to report this incident, Sirius was going on as if it didn't happen. Remus had a bad feeling about this.

When he apparated to the street just outside the popular pub, the place was absolutely mobbed. Sirius had already disappeared inside. With a deep sigh, Remus walked inside and was hit instantly with the loud din of voices. It was like squeezing into a sardine can, there were so many people. People laughing, people talking, people arguing; it was almost overwhelming. Remus did not care for loud noise, it made him very irritable and jumpy. Seeing Sirius over at the bar, he slowly made his way over to him.

"DO YOU REALLY THINK WE SHOULD BE HERE?" He shouted over the noise, leaning close to Sirius. The bartender handed him two mugs filled with something other than Butterbeer, and Sirius glanced at Remus with an innocent expression.

"It can wait until tomorrow! C'mon, Moony! Live it up a little!" He said loudly back, pushing his way over to where Remus assumed he thought was space to sit down. Hair bristling with exasperation, Remus trudged his way behind him. Miraculously, Sirius had found an empty booth and sat down. Remus slid beside him as he pushed a mug over.

"What happened could be serious, Sirius," Remus almost growled.

Sirius grinned.

"That bad, huh?"

Remus frowned at him.

"If we don't report what happened now, those Death Eaters in The Leaky Cauldron could be out killing people as we speak," he said in the lowest whisper he could mutter, shielding his face from prying eyes.

A look of comprehension and almost worry crossed Sirius' eyes, before he took a deep breath and resumed his nonchalant attitude.

"Can I top you off, boys?"

Remus looked up into the face of a startling pretty young woman waitress, perhaps only a year or so older than him. Madame Rosmerta.

"Of course you can, Madame, anytime you want." Sirius had put on his most charming smile, his eyes shining brightly up at her. Remus groaned and put his face in his hands, shaking his head. He could hear Rosmerta's high-pitched giggle as she poured more poignant beer into Sirius' mug.

"And you, Mr. Remus?" She turned to him. He looked up at her with a stone-faced expression and quickly declined. However, she didn't look the slightest bit offended and only smiled at him more brightly. "Always the smart one, eh, Mr. Remus?"

Sirius gaped as Remus gave Rosmerta a blushing smile as she walked off to the table next to them. He shrugged and took another swing, looking out over the crowd. Remus was about to give another reprise about reporting to Dumbledore when Sirius pointed a finger to the sea of bodies.

"Look, isn't that that Charles Gates fellow that's a member with us?"

Remus, with an exasperated snort, sharply turned his head to the direction he was pointing at. Sure enough, he could pretty much spot the fairly tall, long-haired wizard ordering some rum from the bar.

Even though they had been working at the Ministry for nearly three weeks, Remus and his friends had yet to have any close contact with any of the other Order members at all. They were all spread out in twos among the Ministry buildings, and seldom crossed the other pairs' paths. This particular Order member they were looking at was one of the few they had come across. His name was Charles Gates, an extremely loud and exuberant wizard who took great pride in his shoulder length pale blonde hair, which he tied in a ponytail at the back. He walked with a swagger, and was great friends with his paired partner, Darwin Edwards, whom he was seldom seen without. Sure enough, Remus looked to the doorway, where Edwards could be seen looming above the rest.

Slightly taller than Gates, Darwin Edwards was a skyscraper. His short, bowl-cut black hair almost touched the ceiling, it seemed. He was certainly very intimidating, for he never spoke a word. Never. Gates had explained shortly after they had first met briefly, that Edwards has never spoken a word in his life. At least, since he's known him. Sirius suspected later that he might be an Unspeakable, the most mysterious and least known about departments at the Ministry. Remus agreed; however, just because he didn't speak didn't immediately bran him as an Unspeakable. After all, Remus' father had been an Unspeakable, and he talked all the time!

Sirius and Remus watched them quietly as Gates grabbed his vial of rum and a mug of beer, and walked over to Edwards where they promptly found a table and sat down.

"Think we should go say hello?" Sirius asked, taking a sip of his beer.

Remus looked at him pointedly.

"Sure, then we can tell them what happened."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You never give up, do you?"

"No."

Remus got up, still staring intently at Sirius, both hands holding him up on the table. Sirius stared at him, his mug poised in the air, before he sighed, nodded, and got up as well. The shuffled out of the booth and wove their way toward the table where Gates and Edwards were, when a loud voice stopped them.

"Oy! You there! Lupin and Black, am I right?"

In union, Remus and Sirius turned to see another tall wizard, whom Remus recognized as the one that had sat in front of him at the first meeting of the Order. Fletcher, he believed his name was.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded.

"Come grab a pint and take a load off with me, boys. Let's have a chat!" He pulled out two chairs at the table he was sitting at.

With a quick glance at Gates and Edwards, Remus and Sirius sat down. Madame Rosmerta quickly appeared with refills, and they both looked at Fletcher, who was grinning at them.

"So, how's it going boys? Anything exciting happen yet?"

Remus looked immediately at Sirius, who evidently was swallowing hard.

"Er…"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. We both came upon something odd not too long ago this evening," Remus started quickly, looking back at Fletcher.

Sirius leaned back in his seat, looking defeated. Fletcher looked at him curiously, then back at Remus when he continued.

"We had just arrived at The Leaky Cauldron, when the bartender, Tom, tried to shoo us out. There were loud voices coming from the bar, and a stench that could have been an illegal substance. When Sirius and I finally showed our pins to Tom to let us by, whoever they were had immediately disapparated."

"All we could find was this." Sirius pulled out the money clip with the initials on it. Remus felt his stomach flip and looked more intently at Fletcher instead. The older wizard took the clip from Sirius and studied it closely in his right hand; a suspicious look played on his face.

"N. L., eh? No initials I'm familiar with. So, this was all that was left? Aye, there wouldn't be anything more, would there? Definitely fishy, definitely."

"So," Remus looked at him expectantly as Fletcher handed the clip back to Sirius. "What should we do?"

Fletcher scratched his chin and leaned back in his chair, looking at them both in turn.

"Nothing much you can do right now without the right equipment," he said, hitting his mug on the table to shake the froth off the top of his beer. "Bring it to the Atrus' at the Ministry's Dangerous Concoctions laboratory tomorrow. They should be able to put a trace on that money clip there."

Remus frowned, but nodded just the same. The full moon was tomorrow night and he usually had to prepare for his monthly transformation well before nightfall. Perhaps if he and Sirius went early enough…

"Will do," Sirius said, getting up. "If you'll excuse us, Mr. Fletcher, my partner and I have a little shopping to do."

"Shopping?" Remus blurted out, being pulled up by the collar by Sirius. Fletcher eyed them both curiously.

"I shall see you two, then." He nodded, and went back to sipping his beer. Sirius pulled Remus by the arm toward the door, placing their mugs on the bar counter.

"Where are we going? I wanted to talk with Gates and-" Remus started, before Sirius cut him off.

"You'll see!"

They bustled past the other customers to the door and Sirius pushed it open. When Remus made to follow, he knocked into the shoulder of a girl with long unruly dark brown hair.

"'Scuse me," he muttered, not really looking at her face.

The girl merely grunted and shoved rudely past.

"You'll have to hold on to my shoulder as we apparate," Sirius said, leading Remus out onto the street. "If I told you where we were going it would spoil the surprise."

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius went ahead and grabbed his hand, placing it on his broad shoulder. He half-considered just apparating back to James' house before Sirius did the spell. Instantly, Remus was transported with him to a dark alleyway. The sound of traffic from cars could clearly be heard.

"Sirius, where are we?" Remus blinked down to the end of the alley, where he could see a busy highway of Muggle cars.

"Just out of London. Er, we'll need to change clothes. Here, I've already stashed us some."

He shuffled over to a large dumpster, pulling out a bag with two leather jackets and Muggle shirts. Remus cocked an eyebrow as Sirius tossed him a jacket and a shirt.

"I have a bad feeling about this..." Remus muttered, pulling off his robes.

"Don't be such a worry-wart, Moony. Before the night is out, we'll be riding in style!" Sirius put a shirt on and a black leather jacket over it. He looked like a characteristic Muggle delinquent.

"_Riding_ in style? Sirius-" Remus began, putting on a brown leather jacket, as Sirius made his way out of the alley and onto a sidewalk. He ran to catch up, panting at his side, when he noticed where they were heading. A large glowing sign on the side of the highway read:

Billy's Auto World

__

"We Know The World of Wheels!"

"Oh, Sirius…"

"Won't take long. I've went ahead and reserved it." Sirius was beaming with anticipation. He had the same look on his face as James did when he had bought his latest broomstick. Remus was beginning to remember Sirius' silent fascination with Muggle sports cars and motorcycles. He hardly ever spoke of it, certainly not to anyone else except James and Peter besides Remus. A brief visit to Sirius' home a summer or two ago revealed his small collection of Muggle pictures of the contraptions. Remus never imagined he would take his fascination as far as _buying_ one!

They walked onto the brightly-lit lot, filled with row after row of colorful cars of every shape and make. A Muggle salesman appeared in front of them as suddenly as if he had apparated.

"What can I do you gentlemen for this evening?" the man asked brightly, looking a little too eager. Remus nervously looked at Sirius. _He_ certainly knew what he was doing, by the look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm here to pick up my bike," Sirius answered proudly.

The salesman's face broke into an impossibly wide smile, as if he had just been told that he had won all the money in the world.

"Yes, of course! Come up to the office and we'll get all the necessary paperwork out of the way."

Remus slowly turned to Sirius as the salesman walked eagerly away to the large glass enclosed building in front of them. Remus' eyes were wide with question; Sirius simply grinned.

"Coming? I need you to double-check the money I have to see if it's correct."

Before Remus could even open his mouth to argue, Sirius walked briskly after the salesman and into the office. Feeling defeated, Remus jogged after him.

Not more than ten minutes later, Remus was following Sirius and the salesman to the farthest corner of the parking lot. The salesman looked beside himself with glee; Sirius had paid in full with cash. Remus was expecting him to be suspicious, for, with his knowledge of Muggles, it was extraordinarily rare for a Muggle to pay for a vehicle with cash. They had something called "credit" for such a large purchase. Yet, the salesman was only more than happy to accept Sirius' payment.

They came upon a dark spot on the lot where the electric lights couldn't reach. At the end of a long line of cars was a large black and red leather motorcycle. Sirius practically fainted with admiration.

"She's all yours, Mr. Black!" the salesman piped, tossing him the key. He walked away merrily as Sirius dropped to his knees and began to caress the large plush driver's seat.

"Now, really, Sirius… get up…" Remus muttered nervously, checking over his shoulder to see that the salesman was out of earshot. 

"Isn't it beautiful, Moony? I got it used, but it's still in perfect condition. Why, after a few alterations, I'll be the most envied wizard in the country!" Sirius nearly drooled, his eyes glossed over.

"_Alterations_? What do you mean, _alterations_? You can't perform magic-" Remus started, before Sirius interrupted him, getting up and straddling the bike.

"Get on, Moony! Let's go show this baby off!"

"I am not getting on _that_," Remus stated firmly. A motorcycle was not his idea of a safe mode of transportation. Why, it looked like one hit over a bump could knock him clear off!

"Don't be a wuss, come on!" Sirius growled, and before Remus could do anything, he grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over the bike.

"Sirius! No!" Remus wailed, throwing his arms around him as Sirius jammed the key in the ignition and started the engine. A great thundering roar broke the sleepy silence of the parking lot, and Remus could feel his whole body shaking as the motor revved up. Sirius let out a great cry of glee, turning the handlebars this way and that.

"SIRIUS! I'M GETTING-" Remus began to shout, before one swift kick of Sirius' foot disengaged the kickbar and gave it all it got.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Remus cried, cringing onto Sirius as the motorcycle zoomed off of the lot, turning the scenery around them into one big blur. All he could hear was his own terrified screams and the din of the engine. Sirius was beside himself with exuberance.

Keeping his eyes tightly shut, Remus had no idea as to where Sirius was taking them. All he knew was that, hours later, they ended up on a dirt road leading up to James' house. He nearly fell off of the bike, almost hugging the grass under him as Sirius bounced happily off of the seat and began to dance around him.

"Wasn't that _fantastic_?" he cried.

"Ohh…" Remus moaned, feeling no better than he usually did after a full moon.

"Oh, but it'll be so much better after _I'm_ through with it! Don't tell James just yet! I want this sweet little thing all finished when I show it to him. He's gonna be jealous! He'll be begging Lily to let him get one too!"

Remus braced himself against a small tree along the road, clutching his stomach, willing it to settle. He stared warily at Sirius as he continued to prance around and praise his newfound toy.

"Just don't make me get on it again," Remus muttered.

Sirius put his hands on his hips and looked earnestly at him.

"Aw, c'mon, Moony! You know you had a blast. You said yourself not too long ago how interesting Muggle contraptions are!"

"That didn't mean I was going to go out and buy the confounded things!" Remus countered, staggering back onto the road, facing the house.

Sirius frowned slightly, but shrugged and got back on the bike.

"I'm gonna work on it tonight and it should be ready by morning. We have to go see the Atrus' tomorrow, right?"

Remus nodded, turning slightly to look at him.

"I shall _meet_ you there," he said clearly. "Good night, Padfoot."

Sirius started the bike up again, the loud roar making Remus flinch slightly.

"See you, then! G'night, Moony!" With a cloud of dirt and dust, he was already halfway down the road.

_I don't know what's worse,_ Remus thought as he walked up to James' house. _Getting killed by a dark wizard or getting killed by a seat on two wheels._

Security at the Ministry of Magic headquarters in London had never been so tight. Guards could be seen flanking the Minister himself as he went about his business. Employees made nervous glances at sudden movements, and a lot absolutely refused to go into any dark office without their wands. Mail was inspected thoroughly before anyone could open them, in case some contained dangerous hexes, jinxes, or illegal potions.

The normal security guards remained at their posts around the various buildings that made up the headquarters. Each of them had been informed about those of the Order of the Phoenix. On the first day after the meeting, the members were introduced to them all, and given full superiority over any emergency. Since that day, the entire Order hadn't been together in one room all at once.

Divided into pairs, the members of the Order patrolled the hallways, laboratories, conference rooms, and the various other rooms the Ministry controlled. If anyone questioned them, they were to show their pin. Anyone with any knowledge of the legendary group would immediately recognize them.

Partnered with Sirius, they both checked in the following morning and made their way to the Dangerous Concoctions Laboratory in building C. They had never been in this building before, having been assigned to building D, where most of the work done concerning international wizarding affairs took place. Many wizards and witches wearing white robes bustled past them, bearing flasks and test tubes filled with odd-looking potions. Sirius looked horrified into one laboratory window, where a particularly mad looking wizard wearing purple and green stained white robes was lowering a steering wheel into a large cauldron of bubbling potion. Before Sirius could do anything, Remus pulled him away.

"We have to find the Dangerous Concoctions Laboratory, come on."

"H-how could he? W-where did he f-find that?" Sirius whimpered, allowing himself to be pulled away.

After searching a dozen hallways, they finally came upon a large metal door labeled:

Dangerous Concoctions Laboratory

Authorized Personnel Only

You're not authorized… you're not getting in… so there.

"Somebody has issues..." Sirius muttered as Remus considered knocking on the great door. However, the prospect of breaking all the bones in his hand against the thick metal wasn't appealing. They stood there, gaping at the door for some time, before a small noise behind them made them jump. Twirling around, Remus was looking into the face of a very plain looking woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, a pointed nose, and thin lips.

"Are you in need of assistance?" she asked blandly, her eyes half closed as if she hadn't gotten enough sleep. After blinking a few moments, Remus finally recognized her as another member of the Order; one of the twins he had seen at the first meeting. Sirius also evidently remembered her, and was quick to point the fact out.

"You're still working your normal job?" he blurted out.

She tilted her head slightly in his direction, her expression unchanged.

"Why not? I'm here at the Ministry, am I?"

"Er…" Sirius blinked, at a loss for words. Remus rolled his eyes.

"We have a bit of evidence that we need to have looked at. Can you give it a look right now?" he asked her.

The woman, whom Remus was still unclear of her first name but was almost certain she was one of the Atrus' Fletcher had mentioned, made no confirmation. She silently walked beside them, lifted her wand, and muttered a spell. It was a custom designed spell, obviously, so that not just anyone could walk into the lab. The great metal door slid open and she walked inside. Remus and Sirius followed her.

For such a large door, the lab itself wasn't that large at all. A few long tables covered in all sorts of glass equipment took up most of the space. Posters hung on the wall gave instructions for what to do in the event of an emergency, such as various types of bomb threats, bat infestation, insane and rabid bunnies, and werewolf attacks.

Remus grimaced after reading that line.

Sirius, who had been reading the poster over Remus' shoulder, turned around and had to stifle an almost girlish scream. Another woman, identical to the one who had let them in, was standing silently behind them.

"Can I help you?" she asked without a trace of interest.

Remus turned and nodded, elbowing Sirius to show her the money clip.

"_Both_ of you are working here?" Sirius asked, handing the clip to her. She took it without a word and walked over to her sister, who was preparing some flasks of greenish looking liquid. Remus and Sirius watched intently as one twin lowered the clip into a flask and the other began to pour another substance along with it. With a puff of smoke, the clip disappeared. Both twins watched unblinkingly.

"Er…" Remus tilted his head, waiting for their reaction.

"So? Can you figure out where it's from or who it belongs to?" Sirius asked, not looking at Remus.

The Atrus' turned to each other and began to talk amongst themselves. Remus couldn't make out a word they were saying, and Sirius leaned closer to try. After a few minutes of murmurs, silent staring glances back at the flask, then more murmurs, the women looked at them with unreadable expressions.

"The clip has traces of a fungus found only in rural provinces of England," said one twin.

"After running the initials through many calculations, they belong to a non-wizard, or a non-registered wizard," added the other.

"Evidence of materials only found in Muggle currency was also on this piece," continued her sister.

"Also, there is another inscription on the underside of the metal. 'Made In China'."

Both Remus and Sirius blinked, then glanced at each other before staring back at the twins.

"You got all that by a poof of smoke?" Sirius asked dubiously.

The twins made no reaction or reply.

"Could this money clip belong to a Death Eater?" Remus asked seriously.

"Not likely," said one twin.

"Perhaps," said the other at the same time. They looked at each other with the first real sign of emotion they possessed. Each looked bewildered that they didn't agree.

"Katina, the evidence clearly shows that all signs point to the owner being a Muggle."

"But, Kalina, a Death Eater would be smart enough to disguise such evidence to prove otherwise."

"Come now, sister! Why would one go to such lengths?"

"To protect themselves!"

"Katina!"

"Kalina!"

Remus and Sirius watched as the twins continued to argue, totally unaware that they were still in the lab. Hesitantly, Remus reached over and, using a strainer from the countertop, filtered out the money clip from the flask of potion. Sirius went and opened the door, and they left, leaving the Atrus' to their argument.

"Thank God I don't have a twin," Sirius muttered, breathing a sigh of relief as the door swung closed behind them with a loud thud.

"I second that," Remus murmured under his breath.

"Remus! Sirius! What're you doing here?"

They looked up to see Peter bounding down the hallway, his wizarding robes nearly tripping him as he did so. Remus smiled as he stopped in front of them, panting heavily.

"What's up, Peter?" he asked lightly.

Peter frowned, moaning slightly.

"Heya, Peter! Peter, where'd ya go?"

A girl about their age was jogging toward them. She had long reddish hair tied back in a ponytail and gold rimmed glasses. Freckles dotted her cheeks, becoming clearer as she stopped beside Peter, panting slightly. She looked up at Remus with a large toothy smile.

"Oh, hello! I remember you from the meetings. Remus Lupin, right? I'm Emily Maxwell."

"Yes, nice to meet you, Miss Maxwell," Remus said, shaking her hand politely. Sirius exchanged the same pleasantries.

"What are you doing in building C?" Peter asked again, with a hint of hope. Emily was practically bouncing on her heels beside him.

"Oh, well, we came to have some evidence looked at. Sirius and I found it in The Leaky Cauldron last night. We think it belongs to a Death Eater," Remus said, turning the money clip over in his hand.

A strange looked passed over Peter, but before Remus could figure out what it was, he was taking the clip in his hand and looking at it closely.

"Hmm…well, I don't know," Peter muttered, handing it back.

"We better get back on patrol, Peter. I want to get some more of that orange soda I found in the Muggle Substance Analysis Laboratory; it was great, don't you think?" Emily shook his shoulder, while looking intently at Sirius. She smiled broadly at them, particularly Sirius, before dragging a reluctant Peter behind her down the hall.

"Poor guy," Sirius laughed, following Remus in the other direction. "Definitely a personality clash there, eh?"


	5. Moon's Calling

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Author's Note: Been a while since I've done an author's note, but the following is important. We all know how lovely free website servers are, so Disneysites decided that they no longer want to support the WRP (and after 2 years too… 5,000 hits… ::fists clench and begins to growl::) Until that problem is resolved, there will be a temporary news page on _Lumos_ soon. Although, I highly recommend putting your Email address on the mailing list for more updated and breaking news J You can join via the form on _Lumos_' home page.

****

Link: http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html (click the image to enter)

****

Email Orca: OrcaMorph@aol.com 

Chapter Five

_Moon's Calling_

When Remus returned to James' house early from the Ministry later that morning, a sudden feeling of mild panic overcame him. Where was he going to transform safely? He couldn't do it in the house anywhere; there wasn't a single room that could hold a werewolf. Pacing in the sitting room, Remus ran every option through his mind, each of them useless. 

The grandfather clock struck noon and the sunlight shown brightly through the windows. Sighing, Remus placed his hands on the sill of the bay window in the sitting room, staring out at the vast wall of trees that surrounded the house. That was when another thought hit him, and it made the tiny hairs at the back of his neck bristle unpleasantly. 

Those trees were part of the same forest that spread all over the countryside, eventually becoming the dense thicket that had surrounded Remus' house. It was where he had gone every full moon with his parents, where they tied him tightly to the strongest tree and left him there alone. Every time he entered that forest, it was knowing that for an entire night he would suffer, suffer pain that was close to intolerable. That was when Neo taunted him the most. 

He would hide far in the shadows, his face lit by the light of the moon. The low rumble of his jesting laugh would hit Remus' ears like sharp ice. It enraged his wolf mind, made him claw madly at his bindings. Neo wasn't stupid… he never came close enough for Remus to do any harm. Remus had prayed for the day that he would slip up and come closer. The wolf hated him as much as he himself did, and unlike Remus the human, Remus the wolf had no fear.

Remus stood up straight, still staring out the window. It was his only choice. If James, Sirius, and Peter couldn't stay with him, Remus would have to tie himself up deep in that forest. The thought was so all consuming that his appetite was lost, not responding to the house-elf that would meekly approached him with a meal. He turned and sat in his usual armchair, hands clutching the armrests as his eyes burned the image of the tall trees.

"…and he had no right to do that!" shouted a voice from the foyer. It was James; he and Lily had returned from her sister's.

James bustled into the sitting room, looking red in the face. Lily walked in behind him, her expression unreadable. Remus stood up to greet them.

"How'd it go?" he asked as James fell onto the sofa, tipping a few packages onto the floor.

"I was chased by a man the size of China," he grumbled.

Remus raised an eyebrow, looking at Lily.

"Her _boyfriend_… or should I say, fiancée now?" Lily said, shrugging as she put a suitcase down and sat beside James.

"Dudsley… or something like that. The most outrageous Muggle you'll ever meet. I have no idea what she sees in him…the guy couldn't be more opposite in looks," James explained.

"_Dursley_," Lily corrected. "Vernon. Yet they _are_ so much alike… he completely _despises_ anything associated with magic. I think they go wonderfully together."

"Turned absolutely purple when he saw us at the door," James continued. "I've never heard anyone shout so much. They both skidded around us as if we were some sort of deadly disease. We had to fight tooth and nail to get upstairs to fetch Lily's things."

"That wasn't too hard, actually," Lily said through pursed lips. "She tossed all my stuff into these boxes here and locked them in the spare bedroom. My room was being fumigated."

"I finally put a silencing spell on the large prune when my headache got unbearable." James crossed his arms, a small smirk on his face. "Petunia fell into a dead faint after that."

"You've got to admit," Lily said carefully, glancing at James through the corner of her eyes. "It was pretty funny when he chased you out of the house."

"More like a three-ton boulder rolling down the stairs," James muttered, turning slightly red.

Remus couldn't help but smile, crossing his arms and letting himself sink back into the cushion of the armchair. James and Lily considered him a moment.

"I almost forgot, it's tonight, isn't it?" James said suddenly, breaking the momentary silence.

Looking up slightly, Remus wasn't all that surprised that James had forgot after all that had happened.

"How do you feel, you okay?" Lily asked in a maternal voice, coming over and kneeling in front of him. She felt his forehead and smiled, Remus turning beet red and glancing quickly at James. James, however, looked just as concerned. He got up, running his hands through his untidy hair, going to the bay window. 

"I have to go to Gringotts and finally get whatever is in that special vault my parents had," he said quietly. "If I go now, I should be back in time."

"Sirius and Peter are going to be with you too, right?" Lily asked Remus. The question made him frown; he hadn't brought the subject up to ask Sirius and Peter… he wasn't sure they remembered also.

"I'll use the fire in the study to call them," James said, turning around and leaving the room.

Lily and Remus watched him go, and Lily, sighing, went to sit back down on the sofa. She picked up one of the small cardboard boxes and opened it. Remus watched curiously as she sifted through, seemingly looking for something. After a few minutes, mumbling under her breath the whole while, Lily finally let out a triumphant sigh.

"Here we are," she said, getting up, holding something small in her hands. Remus raised his brows as she walked around and behind him. He felt something slide over his head and down his neck, and, looking down at his chest, he saw what looked like a twisted brass ring.

"What's this?" he asked her, picking it up between his fingers.

"Infinity. For infinite friendship, infinite hope, infinite love, infinite harmony, infinite wisdom, and infinite possibilities." Lily smiled genuinely at him, yet her eyes held an expression that made Remus cock his head. He took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you, it's priceless… as you are."

Lily giggled softly and she kissed him on the cheek.

"Careful, James might be forced to hex you."

Remus chuckled lightly and he tucked the necklace with the infinity ring under his shirt. James walked in shortly after, looking frazzled.

"Peter can't make it… something about a meeting concerning spilt orange soda in Building C. I got Sirius on his way, though. Apparently he has something to show us too."

Remus' eyes went wide, sitting up straighter in his chair.

"Oh…" 

Lily eyed him curiously as a loud bang from outside made Remus groan again.

"What on Earth was that?" James stammered, running out of the room, into the foyer, and throwing wide the door. Remus and Lily ran after him, and skidded to a halt behind him as they saw what it was James was gawking at.

Sirius, on his new motorcycle, was floating ten feet in the air. The exhaust billowed out from behind, smoking up the first floor windows. Grinning madly, Sirius waved jovially down at them.

"James! What do you think? Fantastic, eh?"

Remus shook his head and leaned up against the foyer wall, watching James for his reaction. Just as he expected, James' face was beaming.

"How did- where did- it's great!" he stuttered, almost speechless. Lily was frowning slightly, staring at the motorcycle carefully.

"Is this wise, Sirius? I'm not sure this is so safe."

Sirius lowered the bike down to the ground and shut off the engine. Remus' pounding eardrums were instantly relieved. He crossed his arms and didn't move as James and Lily went out to Sirius to look at the motorcycle more closely.

"Is this what you used the Muggle money on?" James asked him, bending over and inspecting every detail. Lily, however, was looking grim. Remus couldn't help but to grin at her expression.

"What if somebody sees you?" she asked Sirius directly. Sirius shook his head vigorously, giving her a reassuring smile.

"If you fly high enough, it doesn't matter. Although, you gotta watch out for the airplanes those Muggles use. I nearly got plastered to the front windows of a 747 on the way here."

James laughed and took Lily's hand.

"Look, 'Lil! There's room for two on the seat! Can we take it up, Padfoot?" he asked him excitedly. Lily nearly turned white as a sheet.

"Absolutely n-" she started.

"Yes! Sure, just mind the paint job! And don't rip the leather, either. Oh, and don't adjust the mirrors." Sirius stepped back as James jumped on the bike, dragging Lily on behind him. Lily looked furious, and Remus leapt forward to see if he could pull her off before she committed homicide on her boyfriend.

"James-" Remus started, reaching for Lily. Too late. James started the engine up and he took the bike straight into the air. Remus cringed as Lily's petrified screams reverberated over the engine's roar. He pulled at his hair, watching James zoom the bike into the clouds and out of sight. Sirius was laughing beside him, completely oblivious to Remus' worried groans.

"I knew he'd love it!" he cried happily.

"Let's hope he's just as talented on a motorcycle as he is on a broomstick," Remus muttered gloomily. 

"Ah, don't worry, Moony." Sirius clapped him on the shoulders, making his knees buckle slightly. "It handles like a dream! Only… it runs on gasoline rather than magic… and it had less than half a tank… but, no worries!"

"You _do_ realize," Remus began, rounding on him. "That it is illegal to enchant any object created by Muggles? Do you realize that you can be arrested for possessing such a vehicle? No less prosecuted for enchanting it yourself?"

"For crying out loud, Remus!" Sirius frowned, backing away and walking into the house. "It certainly is _that_ time of the month, isn't it?"

Remus fumed, following him inside and slamming the door.

"One of these days, Sirius, your actions will result in consequences much worse than detention at Hogwarts!"

Sirius rolled his eyes at him, hanging his long wizarding coat on the coat rack.

"Your claws are showing, Moony," he smirked.

"I'm serious!" Remus shouted at him, standing in the doorway of the sitting room.

"Really? I thought I was," Sirius said lightly.

"That joke is getting exceedingly old," Remus said in a furious calm.

A bang from the front lawn announced James and Lily's return. With a last reproachful glare at Sirius, Remus strode outside to the bike, where Lily was nearly doubled over in hysterics. James was beside himself with laughter, turning off the engine. Remus stared at them both, completely baffled. Sirius ran up to them, eager for their reaction.

"So?" he asked them excitedly.

"That was _fantastic_!" Lily cried, helping James to his feet. "James flew us straight into a flock of geese! Scared the lead bird straight out of its mind!"

Remus' jaw dropped as they all broke out into laughter once again.

"It's nothing like a broomstick," James managed to say between fits. "But, I must say, it was great!"

"What'd I tell you?" Sirius asked Remus, grinning broadly.

"Oh, Moony, you've got to try it for yourself! You've no idea what you're missing!" James cried, coming over to him and shoving the keys into his hand.

"I have tried it, thank you. I saw my dinner again afterward, and I care not to experience it again," he said curtly, handing the keys over to Sirius.

James tried not to look awkward at him, taking deep breaths to calm himself. Lily, still flushed, shook her head slightly and walked over to Remus and took his arm.

"I'm going with James to Gringotts," she said. "Let's eat early, shall we?"

Normally, Remus refrained from eating anything the day of the full moon in fear that he would throw it up during the transformation. The pity he could distinguish on Lily's face was hurting his pride.

_I don't need pity… you can't blame common sense on the rising of the full moon._

Despite his feelings, he allowed Lily to steer him into the house and into the dining room. She called upon the house-elves to begin supper, and went with James upstairs to freshen up. Sirius sat down across from Remus at the large polished wooden table, avoiding his eyes and instead staring intently at the elaborate floral arrangement. Remus didn't mind; he sat there looking down at his hands. In a few hours time they would no longer be hands… but large, clawed paws.

Dinner was unusually quiet. James, handsome and strapping even with his unruly black hair in a hunter green tunic, sat close to Lily. Her right hand was entwined with his left, eating her salad with her other hand. She wore a burgundy colored velvet cardigan and a long tan pleated skirt. Remus felt less than presentable beside them in his wrinkled white collared shirt and dusty slacks. Yet, it would hardly matter in a few hours what he wore. What he was wearing now would become shreds of fabric after his transformation.

"I should be back in time," James said, breaking the silence. "But if I'm not, stay close to the house."

Remus lifted his eyes slightly from his plate, pecking at the small tomatoes in his own salad.

"How long does it take to get stuff from a vault?" Sirius voiced Remus' thoughts as he said them in his mind.

Lily glanced at James, taking a sip of wine. He shrugged.

"You never know. Diagon Alley is considerably more dangerous than Hogsmeade. There it's easy to hide in Muggle London, if you're a Death Eater."

"But you're just going to apparate straight to Gringotts, right?" Remus asked.

James and Lily exchanged looks and then turned back to their salads.

"Lily needs a few things. Her sister tossed out most of her stuff before we could get to them," James said.

"As fun as it is wearing James' clothing, I'm afraid I'll need some more attire of my own," Lily said, smiling sweetly at James who grinned back at her. Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes.

"It won't be easy," Sirius said darkly, looking up from his plate directly at James. James swallowed hard and began to poke at his lettuce.

"Just stay close to the house," he muttered.

Remus looked at them both and felt his cheeks go red. It was Sirius, James, and Peter who helped tame his werewolf form during his transformation. Otherwise, he was a wild beast, highly dangerous. Without James and Peter, Sirius was going to be alone with him. It was something they had only done a few times before, and the results were far too close to tragic. He watched them as they fell silent again, going back to their meal, and felt anger and shame welling up inside of him. He felt like a child who needed a babysitter. A potentially dangerous child, who, unless there was more than one other person, struck fear in his guardian.

Hardly another word was spoken as they finished their dinner. James escorted Lily to the door as the house-elves cleaned up what remained. The sun was only just beginning to set, rich orange rays of light streaming through the windows. Remus handed them their coats and Sirius opened the door.

"I'd just like to show you something before you leave, James, if you don't mind," Sirius said to James directly.

With a slightly puzzled expression, James conferred, following him outside. Lily stayed with Remus, her hands folded in front of her.

"Be safe," she said softly to him, her face turned down to the ornamental throw rug on the polished wooden floor. 

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. It's not any different from the countless times before," Remus said, giving her a small smile.

Lily looked up into his face, studying his features. He stared back, his eyes wavering uncomfortably in her scrutinizing gaze. Clearing his throat dryly, he fidgeted in his spot before she finally looked away.

James and Sirius walked back in then, James wearing an unreadable expression on his face before smiling at Lily.

"Ready?" he asked her, offering his arm.

"Yes," she smiled back. They both exchanged hugs with Remus and Sirius before disapparating. The air crackled a bit as they disappeared, making Remus' hair ruffle slightly. Sirius let out a great sigh, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looked at Remus and smiled slightly.

"Well, let's go scout out where we're going to party tonight," he said brightly.

Light was still visible on the horizon as Remus and Sirius walked out into the woods not much longer after James and Lily had left. The humid and balmy summer evening made the crickets hum loudly in the trees as they trudged underneath them. Remus, his hands stuffed in his pockets, looked up into the branches, watching the last hints of orange leave the sky.

Sirius had already turned into his dog form when the moon finally made its debut. He sat on his haunches next to some bushes in a small clearing, far from James' house and from any other establishment. The beginnings of the transformation were taking affect on Remus, making him break out into a severe sweat; the temperature not helping matters. He blinked his watering eyes at the large black dog that was Sirius, watching him closely as the full moon became brighter in the sky.

The fact that James and Peter weren't there made Remus unusually nervous. Even though he had spent nearly all his childhood transforming alone, he had gotten used to the familiar scents of all his friends in their animal forms. How was Sirius going to keep up guard over him alone? Now that Remus was fully-grown, so was his werewolf form. Could a dog, no matter how large, subdue a mature werewolf?

With this in mind, the sudden, yet expected, spasms of his spine and nervous system as they began to warp his skeletal structure were even more painful. Remus doubled over, shaking violently in a fetal position on the grass. Tortured moans escaped his lips as he cringed, feeling a long tail shoot out from the base of his spine. He could feel his bones grow larger and broader, feeling as stiff as boards because he wasn't in a relaxed state before he had begun this process of monthly torture. His clothing ripped, the tearing sounds echoing around the clearing.

The painful moans were no longer human as Remus' face began to twist and elongate into a muzzle. Fur began to sprout out rapidly all over his body, covering his skin in a golden tan color. A black rubbery nose formed at the end of his muzzle, and with it, his sense of smell intensified dramatically. His mouth filled with long, razor sharp canines, ripping his gums painfully.

At last, the final stages of the transformation were complete. Remus opened his dark, intense eyes and stretched out his tall pointed ears. He could hear a rabbit scurrying into a hole ten yards away. He could smell a large dog sitting not too far to the right. He could see a beetle crawling on the trunk of a tree fifty feet from the ground. He could taste the soot from a far away fire in the air.

Suddenly, Remus stood on all fours, stretched his head up to the sky, and let his deep, long voice ring out into the world. The air stilled, the darkness quivered, and the dog that was Sirius got up on his paws with his tail high above his head. Even after Remus quieted, his howl continued to ring. He turned his piercing eyes on the dog without emotion, for Remus no longer existed. The werewolf was the alpha, the leader, not one animal shall challenge his dominance. Yet the dog was worthy, he was large and strong, capable of keeping up in a hunt. His presence was allowed, and the werewolf relaxed his tail to show his acceptance.

The dog carefully approached the werewolf, his tail between his legs to show his submission to the werewolf's power. It's eyes, however, bore into the alpha male's face with a message. _I _can_ overpower you_. 

A sharp snap of a twig made the werewolf's attention turn quickly back to the rabbit he had heard earlier. He let out an excited pant, and the dog beside him leapt into pursuit like an exuberant pup. The dog's energetic attitude put the werewolf into a playful mood, and despite his better knowledge of proper hunting, he broke into a run to join him.

The trees became a blur and the hard earth cracked underneath the werewolf's enormous clawed paws as he pressed on behind the large black dog. Barking joyfully into the air, the two canines nearly flew over grassy hills and wove between the trunks of trees. Even long after the scent of the rabbit could no longer be sensed, they continued to run. They could run on forever and not tire. The moon was the limit, the result of a journey not one creature no matter how powerful could reach and master. The rays of its reflected light made the werewolf's coat golden tan coat shine radiantly.

When the soot the werewolf could taste on his long rouge tongue began to fill his nostrils, it triggered a memory he could not identify. _Man_. Men were close by. Hunger started to cloud his mind, igniting an instinct to use his large fanged teeth. _Must bite… must hunt… must eat_!

He stopped abruptly, making the dog in front of him stop so hard he nearly toppled over himself. Every single sense was trained on that memory, the werewolf's head pointed in the correct direction. The dog gathered himself and quickly moved in front of him, the message on his face clear again.

_Don't think about it. Move on_.

The werewolf bore his teeth, his sharp eyes glistening dangerously down at his inferior. But the dog stood his ground.

_Move on_. The dog did not move.

A new sound broke through to the werewolf's ears. An animal, running quickly, in his direction. The smell of blood in the air instantly made his instinct go wild. He barked sharply at the dog, and barreled past him.

The pounding of his paws on the ground reverberated through his entire body. Whatever it was that was heading toward him was coming closer, the smell of the blood overpowering. He pressed on up a hill, ignoring the angry barks of the dog behind him and the nips it made at his back legs in the feeble attempt to stop him. Now there was more than just the smell of blood in the air. The soot became ash, and the light above the crest of the hill was a rosy flickering color. Fire.

When the incline of the hill became flat, the werewolf suddenly stopped. The animal that was coming his way stopped too, and the werewolf could now see what it was, for the animal was stopped only feet in front of him.

It was another werewolf, smaller and more streamlined. A female, with long darker brown fur streaming along her body. She stood poised and panting in front of him, and he could see that the blood he smelled was smeared all over her muzzle. Her amber eyes, wild with the euphoria of a successful hunt, stared at him defiantly.

Loud and harsh sounds were beginning to be heard from the direction the female was running from. Without looking back, she broke into a run again, going east from her original direction. The black dog finally caught up behind him and an aggressive bite on his hind leg made the werewolf break off his stare at the female. The angry sounds the female was running from turned into human voices, but before the werewolf's instinct could overpower him again, the dog managed to force him back to where they had ran from.

When the two canines had reached the bottom of the hill, the crowd of men reached the top.

"My _God_! It's a mutant wolf!" shouted one.

"Kill it! That's the creature that killed my wife!" shouted another.

The black dog broke into an impossible sprint, tearing out in front of the werewolf who was twice his size. The werewolf could sense his fear, and looked back as he ran to see the large group of men bumbling after them down the hill.

Suddenly, a deafening bang broke through the darkness, and the ground exploded under the canines' feet. The black dog yelped, dodging this way and that. _Bullets_, the werewolf's mind managed to register. Bullets were dangerous… if they were silver. There was no way to tell, nor could the werewolf make that distinction, anyway. All he knew was that he had to get away. He broke into a sprint as well, and quickly caught up and passed the black dog.

They ran until the moon was clear across the other side of the sky, until the sounds of the men faded, their smells gone, and the taste of the gunpowder dissolved. Before long, the two canines had reached the clearing. The black dog fell to a heap on the grass, panting heavily. The werewolf, too, shook the earth as he collapsed, his great chest rising and falling quickly. Hours passed, and before long the last beams of moonlight trickled faintly through the leaves of the surrounding trees.

Life returned to the forest. Birds began their morning song as the sun woke on the horizon. The black dog was no longer there; Sirius had transformed back into himself and was asleep where it had been. As the first rays of light began to dry the morning dew, the werewolf's massive bulk began to recede. Slowly, as the sun warmed him, the werewolf disappeared and Remus transformed back into human. For an hour after the sun rose, both men continued their exhausted slumber.

When Remus finally awoke, absolutely naked and spread out over the grass, the first side effects of the transformation hit him. His head erupted with a massive headache, and every bone in his body was stiff. Without moving, he painfully opened his eyes to the blazing sunlight and squinted over to where Sirius was. He was sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck, a pained look on his face as if he himself had just transformed back from a dark creature. He looked over at Remus, his eyes narrowed and sweat trickling down his brows.

"Well, then…" he muttered.

From the look in his eyes, Remus could tell that something had gone wrong last night. As part of the side effects, Remus was unable to remember what happened when he transformed immediately afterward. His human self was lost to the werewolf and he had no awareness of it. All he could remember right away was the pain of transforming, and then waking up stark naked in the clearing. However, memories of what he did as a werewolf would eventually trickle into his head over the course of the next few hours.

There was a sudden crash and pounding of hooves behind them, and a stag burst from the bushes and landed beside them in the clearing. Some clothing was slug over its back, which fell to the ground when the stag instantly became James. He looked down at both of them, worry creasing his face.

"What on Earth are you two doing? Lily and I have been worried sick! I tried to find you two last night but you were no where to be found! C'mon and get dressed, Remus, we need to get back to the house quick."

Remus wearily began to dress himself as Sirius stumbled to his feet. James was giving him a very scornful look, but Sirius was too tired to defend. He simply began the walk back to James' house, leaving James to help Remus finish. James pulled him to his side by the shoulder, and he helped support Remus as they followed suit.

Lily was waiting outside for them in her nightgown, her hair an absolute mess. When she saw Sirius, she ran clear across the grass and embraced him.

"Oh, I've been so worried! When we found out what happened-" she started, but Sirius was determined to get inside. He gently pried her off him and continued to the house. Lily bit her lip and let out an even more relieved sigh when she saw James with Remus.

"Are you alright?" she asked Remus worriedly, taking his other arm to support. He smiled weakly and she continued to fuss as they got inside the house. They helped him onto the sofa in the sitting room, and Lily immediately called the house-elves to prepare breakfast.

"I went to find you as soon as we got back, but you two were long gone!" James shook his head, pacing in front of them.

"It was all going fine, until…" Sirius started, but he glanced at Remus and faltered. Remus frowned, irritated that they were hesitant to tell him what had happened.

"Well, it's all over the news. Both wizarding _and_ Muggle! This is not good…" James crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"It wasn't him! There was another one! We ran into it… that's when things went downhill," Sirius explained furiously, his fists clenched.

"Calm down, Sirius," Lily said gently.

"Would somebody _please_ tell me what happened?" Remus asked severely. Everyone paused a moment, before Sirius broke the silence.

"You sensed something, and ran up to meet it. Well, it turned out to be another werewolf. This one was covered in blood, running from a nearby Muggle village. The villagers were charging after it- apparently there was a kill. It ran off before they caught up, and they saw _you_ instead."

Remus' mouth went dry. He looked at his friends, each wearing empathetic expressions.

"We ran off before they could do us in," Sirius concluded, falling back to rest on the sofa pillows, his face looking out the bay window.

"Naturally the officials were notified of the murder," James said quietly. "The unusual kill was alerted to the Ministry. There is now an investigation, and with Death Eater activity at an all time high, some of the Order was called to take part. In light of… well… Dumbledore owled me early this morning and said that we all have today off. Moony, you can take as much time as you need."

"You won't get in trouble, Remus. This is not your fault," Lily whispered, taking his hand gently.

"It was all a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Besides, you have a witness to prove your innocence," Sirius said.

But Remus' mind wasn't on whether or not he would get the blame for the murder, but on the fact that there was another werewolf. Didn't Dumbledore tell him after the very first meeting of the Order that a woman representing a group of werewolves associated with Voldemort would approach him? Could that werewolf have belonged to that group? Oh, if only he could remember what had happened right away!

Apparently, James, Lily, and Sirius took Remus' silence for internal disconcertion over whether or not he was guilty of murder. James coaxed him into eating breakfast, and they all went into the dining room to eat. They spent that time trying to convince Remus that all would be fine, and Remus merely nodded to everything in hope that they would eventually let off. To his relief, Lily nearly ordered Remus to go up to bed, and he did so without argument.

He practically stumbled into his room; he was so exhausted. The large four poster, finely furnished with all sorts of pillows and down comforters, seemed to have a magnetic pull on him. Remus fell upon it, his face smothered in the plush fabric. 

_Must remember…_ he thought, managing to pull himself completely onto the bed and situate himself comfortably among the pillows. _If that werewolf was a woman, and if she is the one Dumbledore said I would meet, I dunno what the heck he wants me to do. I have a bad feeling about this._

When Remus finally did fall into an exhausted sleep, all that came to him were flashes. Flashes of every sense- the smell, the sounds, the tastes. The werewolf in his memory made him feel very strange. Some part of him that he had never known made the urge to find this werewolf very strong.

James woke him later that evening; Remus had slept straight through since morning.

"Aaron Berenson and Clara Winner from the Order are downstairs," he said, blurry in Remus' fatigued vision. "They did the investigation over in that village where the Muggle was killed. I thought you would need to talk with them."

Remus followed James groggily downstairs, all the while trying to make sense of all the memory flashes he had experienced in his sleep. That werewolf must have been a female, some strange feeling inside of himself was telling him so. Now what was he to do? Go find her? Then what? He needed to talk with Dumbledore.

"'Evening, Remus," said a young man with black hair the complete opposite of James'. Aaron Berenson was part of the Order, but Remus never really had the opportunity to get to know him since the first meeting. He was average in height with rich hazel eyes and a posture that was cool and collective.

"Pleasure to see you again." Remus smiled at him, shaking his hand. He looked into the sitting room, where Lily and Sirius were sitting next to a young woman whom Remus also recognized from the Order. Clara Winner was shorter than the norm, with long brown hair and blue eyes. She was the type of girl that most boys ignored, for she wasn't the most attractive person as far as looks. However, Remus had great respect for her wisdom, as she had often passed by him in the hallways at the Ministry and given him help when he needed it. Her resourcefulness was worth far more than looks.

Clara was shy, and it was obvious that she was so, for she kept staring at her shoes and not at Sirius who was clearly trying to get her attention. When Remus stepped into the room, she finally looked up and put on her pleasant smile.

"Hello, Remus!" she said, getting up as he took her hand. "How are you?"

"Tired," he replied honestly. "But otherwise fine."

James stood, leaning against the fireplace with his arms folded, as Remus and Aaron sat down. When a momentary pause of silence stilled the room, Aaron cleared his throat and glanced at James before explaining.

"Clara and I went out to that village where the Muggle was apparently killed; a woman in her late twenties, perhaps. We checked out the scene where she was found. It was close to the woods, secluded, and away from any sort of light. Afterward, we went to the morgue and examined the body. There's no denying that she was killed by a werewolf, or some other sort of large dark creature."

Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Aaron's eyes met his for a moment, before Clara continued their story.

"I work in the Ministry's Magical Archive office," she explained. "According to some reports on previous werewolf attacks in the past, the descriptions of the teeth and claw marks on the victim identified the sex of the creature. After some reading and observations on the body, the marks were made by either a juvenile or a female."

There seemed to be a universal sigh of relief in the room at her words, and Lily beamed as she looked over at Remus with an eager expression.

"So, all evidence clearly shows that Remus is innocent of any crime," Sirius blurted out. James rolled his eyes.

"Yes," Aaron smiled. "But then, that leaves the mystery of who this werewolf is."

"We can let those at the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures take care of it," James said with finality to his tone. "We all work for the Order and it's not our job."

"But what if this werewolf works for Voldemort?" Lily asked quietly. Everyone grimaced slightly at the name.

"Then the Committee will tell us and Dumbledore will give us orders," James muttered.

A sudden pop from the foyer made everyone jump, and Peter appeared in the room, slightly out of breath.

"Where's Remus? Is he alright?" he asked.

"He's dead, Wormtail. If you had shown up with the rest of us you might have caught him before he was executed," Sirius said sarcastically, folding his arms.

"Not to worry, Peter. Everything is under control," Remus said, turning in his chair to face him.

Peter nodded and wrought his fingers, shifting his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably under everyone's gaze.

"You finished with that seminar?" Aaron asked him abruptly.

"Seminar? You told me that you were visiting your mother because she was ill," James said, uncrossing his arms and coming closer to Peter.

Peter swallowed hard as everyone's gaze turned into suspicious stares.

"I-I meant to visit my mother," he said quickly. "But then I was called to the seminar on curses the Ministry was hosting."

Remus raised his brows as Sirius let out a great "Humph!" of disbelief.

"H-honest!" Peter shouted, his face red.

"For crying out loud, leave the poor man alone!" Lily scolded, getting up and taking James' hand. James shrugged and gave Peter one last scrutinizing look before he allowed Lily to steer him back to the sofa.

Peter, trembling slightly, took a chair on the opposite side of the room. Aaron and Clara quickly resumed further explanations over what had happened in the Muggle village. After a brief break over tea and scones, they left to go give Dumbledore their formal report and to clear suspicions of Remus' name. The four marauders and Lily were left to themselves in James' large house.

"So, James… what all did _you_ do last night?" Sirius asked casually as he engaged Remus in a game of wizarding chess a few hours later.

James exchanged a strange look with Lily before shrugging his shoulders. He answered as he continued to watch Lily knit a blanket magically with her wand.

"Just got what was in that little safe my parents had at Gringotts, and struggled to maintain my dignity while holding Lily's purse as she proceeded to spend large amounts of money on clothing and accessories that _every_ woman needs."

Remus chuckled as he ordered his queen to take down Sirius' knight. Sirius' mouth fell and he growled as he chewed on his knuckles.

"What was in the safe?" Peter asked meekly, still sitting idly in the chair across the room. 

"Nothing much," James answered quickly. Lily's wand missed a loop in her knitting.

Sirius' bishop eliminated one of Remus'; Remus cursed as his white piece was knocked in half.

"Like what?" Peter pressed innocently. James turned to peer at him more closely.

"Family heirlooms," he stated firmly.

"I inherited an ancient breadbox from my grandfather," Sirius said as Remus made his move.

"A _breadbox_?" Remus asked him bemusedly.

"Keeps the bread fresh for all eternity. As a matter o' fact, I believe there's still half a loaf of bread in there that he himself made when he was twelve years old," Sirius said, analyzing the board.

Lily rolled her eyes, her wand moving back and forth as it continued to knit. James shook with silent laughter. Peter, however, was still adamant.

"Pretty valuable heirlooms, I'll bet!" he grinned. "Anything worth much?"

The laughter left James, and he stared at Peter severely. Lily's wand stopped knitting, and she grabbed it in her hand as she looked carefully at Peter.

"Priceless," James muttered darkly.

"Dinner is served, good sirs and miss!" cried a house-elf from the archway.

James' smile returned, somewhat wanly, and he helped Lily to her feet to escort her to the dining room. Remus, even while watching this whole scene, still managed to find Sirius' king in check. His queen made the appropriate move and obliterated the king from the board. Remus triumphantly got up to follow, leaving Sirius to stare furiously at his failed black pieces. Peter quickly was at Remus' heels and sat down rather clumsily across from James at the table when they entered the dining room. By the time Sirius sat down, his face still red with defeat, the food had been served and they quietly began to eat.

When dinner was cleared and the house-elves brought out dessert, Peter cleared his throat.

"Why are you avoiding telling us what was in that safe, James?" he asked abruptly. Remus' fork paused in his hand and Sirius stopped chewing on a Chocolate Frog.

James looked at a loss for words. He stared at Peter open mouthed, than looked at both Remus and Sirius. Lily closed her eyes and laid her napkin back down in her lap.

"You _need_ to tell them James, it's no use keeping it a secret amongst us," she said quietly.

Remus could see the worry crease James' face, so subtly that only he could recognize such inner conflict. After a few moments of staring at each other, James finally reached a hand into one of his shirt pockets and pulled out a very worn piece of parchment.

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to believe," he said darkly, looking at the parchment in his hand with a distant expression.

"What?" Remus asked him gently, putting his fork down.

"You _know_ you can tell us anything, James. There should be no doubt," Sirius said earnestly.

"You're right, I'm sorry," James said. He unfolded the parchment and sighed, then held it out. Remus was the first to grab it, and Sirius and Peter quickly moved to stand over him as he read the scrawled handwriting. It was very old and some of the words had been blurred beyond recognition:

… thy magic of the world shall face a most perilous enemy. One of the dark, whose reign shall invoke such terror that thy name shall be feared to be heard. Heir of the serpent, master of arts. Those that follow his path will become thy denizens of the dark. Over the bloodshed thy serpent can be seen. Only the … stop.

Yet like the dawn, the dark shall be diminished by the light. Heir of the lion, pure of soul. He shall rise above and smite the serpent. Thou becomes his mirror… black disguise… green… The only son of the slain. Thou is thy serpent's only half… shall destroy twice. By way of thou mind can thou overcome. The lion is more cunning… but shall lose everything dear…

Remus looked up at James, as well as Sirius and Peter.

"What does it mean?" Sirius asked.

James sighed, getting up from his chair. Lily bit her lip, her eyes downcast.

"I'm not sure, only that it's obviously a prediction and that it sounds a lot like what we're going through," James said.

"Your parents knew about this all along?" Remus asked him.

"If they did, they most likely did not believe in it. The vault was very old, and it looked like it hadn't been opened in decades." James ran his hands through his hair.

Remus glanced at Lily, while Sirius began to pace behind the table.

"And a lot of it does not make sense," Lily said quietly, more to James than anyone else. "It was written a long time ago; you never know, it could refer to the original Slytherin. The Potter family goes make many generations, James. You know that better than I do."

Remus put the ancient piece of parchment down on the table and cast an irritated look at Sirius, who was still pacing. Lily said his thoughts better than he could, and he felt there was no reason to make a big deal out of something as unreliable as a prediction made hundreds of years ago. How many predictions actually ever come to be reality? Divination was a subject Remus never took seriously, and thought it was the most ridiculous excuse of "magic" conceivable. After failing divination class in his third year, he dropped the course and took Muggle studies instead.

Peter, however, caught his eye for a brief moment. Remus was surprised at the intent look of concentration on Peter's face. He was always a bit slow at things, and often Remus or the others would have to repeat things in order for him to finally remember. Remus could remember all the stress James and Sirius went through to get Peter to finally get a hand on being an Animajus. But as he looked at him now, Remus could have sworn Peter was making a huge effort to take a mental note of things. Before he could say anything, Remus' view was disrupted by Sirius as he swung in front of his face to take the parchment.

"I dunno, James. Lily has a point, I wouldn't worry about it too much," he said, looking at it closely.

Another wave of exhaustion hit Remus and his eyes began to droop. As much as he tried to stay completely alert, Lily noticed his head bobbing and quietly got to her feet.

"We all need to be careful during these times, James, but it's not good to worry so much about something that could amount to nothing. Time will tell what the future brings, and we'll deal with it then. For now, let's all get to sleep. Tomorrow's another day."

Sirius continued to frown, but quickly made his goodbyes, and, yawning, apparated to his home from the foyer. Peter no longer held his curious intense look of concentration, but merely looked almost as fatigued as Remus did and left not a moment later. James appeared to look a little relieved, and gratefully allowed Lily to lead him up to his room. Remus, after assuring Lily that he would only be a few minutes, stayed downstairs to look out the window. There wasn't a cloud in sight, the stars clearly visible without interruption. The moon was hidden by a large willow tree, where James' owl sat perched, preening himself. 

_What_ does_ the future bring_? He thought, his hands resting on the windowsill. _Each new day holds every possibility_… _sun… or rain. I pray for partly cloudy._

He took one last look at the night sky, the small specks of brilliant star shine reflecting off his eyes. Then he warily went upstairs, where he would sleep until the future became the present, and he would know if he would need to pack an umbrella.


	6. Proposition

****

Author's Note: Don't forget to visit _Lumos_ for updates and a lot of other new things I've got up there and plan to get up there soon. I suggest signing up for the mailing list, since Author Alerts aren't what they used to be anymore. And _please_ don't forget to review!

http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html 

****

Chapter Six

_Proposition_

It took Remus by surprise that, after nearly three weeks, nothing of the murder in the Muggle village became public. Aaron and Clara must have found solid evidence in favor of Remus' innocence. However, when he ran into Aaron at the Ministry a week after the incident, the case was still open and he and Clara were still investigating. The whole thing still bothered Remus greatly, and while he had fully recovered from the last rising of the full moon, the sight of that other werewolf kept plaguing his mind. It was even more frustrating that Dumbledore was away to some undisclosed location and unavailable to talk with Remus. He needed answers to whoever "Beta" was, and soon.

James was still mildly troubled by the "prophecy" he found in his parents' old vault. Lily tried her best to distract him, and they both found that they were spending more time at work. Death Eater activity was rising, but even though Remus paid extra attention to every detail he found pertaining to them, anything of his brother was no longer found. The money clip was all he had; this he kept hidden, although he wasn't altogether sure why he did.

Those of the Order quickly became skilled at the capture and prosecution of Death Eaters. Remus and Sirius were given orders via Owl by Dumbledore to ambush known spots where Voldemort's followers hid. By the fourth ambush, Remus had mastered the art. Yet, it was James and Lily who were the best at their job, and they quickly became the most feared in the Order by the Death Eaters.

When the next full moon came closer, Remus still had not talked personally with Dumbledore about the last one. "Beta" still had yet to make herself known, at least in human form. As Voldemort's activity escalated, so did the need for the Order to be out in the field. More aurors were hired for security at the Ministry, thus allowing the Order to make more use of their job. To Remus' surprise one Thursday morning, he was to team up with Charles Gates and Darwin Edwards on an ambush.

Before then, Remus had never really had a chance to get to know the others of the Order. Charles was known for his long blonde hair, which he kept tied up in the back. With his green eyes, he was considered the most "handsome" of the Order. Darwin, however, was the odd one. He was extraordinarily tall with his black hair in a short bowl cut. Known as the "silent giant", Darwin never said a word. Somehow, Charles could communicate with him, and he would always speak for Darwin.

"What is it that he did before he came to the Order?" Remus asked Charles as they prepared to go out.

"Darwin?" Charles turned to his silent partner. "Oh, he's an Unspeakable. Been so for two years."

"So, it's not just a name then?" Remus concluded.

"How do you mean?" Charles looked puzzled.

"Unspeakables really don't say a word, do they?"

Charles laughed, a very loud and obnoxious sound. He was a very adamant man and was known for being boastful and nearsighted.

"Of course not! Darwin's just not fond of talking much!"

Remus cocked an eye up at Darwin, who had apparently tuned everything out and was staring dead ahead at… nothing, really. For such a mellow individual, it was amazing that he put up with someone like Charles, who obviously was his complete opposite. There was something about Darwin that didn't make him appear to be "dim" in any way. Far from it, actually, his silence and the deep look in his eyes gave Remus the impression that he was a very intelligent man. Something Charles, however, seemed to be lacking in.

"I could never figure out doors," he laughed loudly again as they left an equipment room. He struggled for a few moments trying to determine if it swung in or out. "Why can't they all just swing the same? Why make them all different?"

"One of the great mysteries of life," Remus muttered to himself, rolling his eyes as he followed Charles and Darwin down a corridor. When they reached the designated area for apparating, Remus recognized the Longbottoms- also in the Order- looking slightly frazzled and worried.

"Hello Frank," Remus said cheerfully to them.

"Oh, hello Remus. You wouldn't have seen Peter around have you?" Frank wrung his hands as his wife, Katherine, went to check the corridor again.

Remus frowned. It wasn't like Peter not to show up to work on time.

"No. Why? Is he assigned with you two today?"

Frank nodded, beginning to look exasperated.

"I'm not even sure if he got the assignment. From the report, it sounds urgent."

"Ready, Remus?" Charles asked loudly. Remus shot him a look.

"I guess. Frank, I'm sure Peter will turn up soon. There must be a logical explanation for his tardiness."

Again, Frank nodded and gave a small smile. Katherine returned, shaking her head and swinging her arms impatiently. When the characteristic pops of apparation reached Remus' ears, he reluctantly did the same.

Remus wasn't entirely sure what was so important about this assignment that he needed to come along.

He stood with Charles and Darwin in front of a small pub where both Muggles and wizards seemed to frequent. It was out in the middle of nowhere, a location that was convenient for rural wizards and Muggles alike. If it weren't for the smell of Butterbeer, it could have been any other pub.

Yet the crowd was more interested in other beverages than the popular wizard children's drink.

"Scrubby little place, 'aint it?" Charles rubbed his hands together with a large smile. Darwin, naturally, said nothing.

"What is it we're here for again?" Remus grimaced, looking around the small, dark, and cluttered establishment. Haughty groups of men of no distinguishable affiliation gave them gaunt stares as they picked their way through. The typical rough laughter and grunts abound, as women wearing scarcely anything topped off their pints. Remus went very tense and alert. Anything could happen here.

"Something about a brawl involving some pretty fancy magic," Charles whispered, perhaps for the first time in his life. Maybe Darwin advised him; Remus wouldn't have been surprised if he had.

"I don't see the need for the three of us. One team could have taken care of this." Remus nearly flattened himself against a pillar of scruffy wood as a waitress gave him a suggestive wink.

"Dumbledore has his reasons, I guess." Charles shrugged, looking around the pub with an optimistic expression. "Might as well have a drink while we're here, eh?"

"Oh, I really don't think-" Remus started.

"A round for the three of us!" Charles bellowed to the same waitress that had winked at Remus. Remus groaned.

Perhaps it was just his heightened state of awareness, but Remus could have sworn that the entire pub had gone a decimal quieter and that there were unseen eyes watching them. Charles, however, merely sat down at the nearest emptied table with a large ridiculous grin on his face.

"If we're lucky, it'd all be a close call!" he whispered excitedly to both Remus and Darwin. Darwin simply looked at him, his expression indifferent. Remus thought of all the times Sirius had got on his nerves whenever they were in a pub, and figured he'd much rather have Sirius right then than Charles.

Much to Remus' dismay, after three rounds nothing happened, other than just Charles becoming less intelligent with every swig. His tense guard began to slack as, after hours passed, nothing more than just a few drunks getting into a heated argument over the same woman they both loved brought attention to themselves. Before long, his chin was propped up by his hand on the table as Charles began to talk loudly about his position at the Illegal Concoction Regulation Department back at the Ministry before the Order came together.

"I told that kid from Belgium, he's not gonna get anywhere mixing alligator bile with extract of hyacinth!" He slapped the table with his open palm, causing Remus to jump slightly.

"What d'you mean, I'm too loud?" he asked suddenly, looking at Darwin. Remus blinked; Darwin was staring right at Charles with the same indifferent expression. Remus hadn't heard a word, but somehow Darwin must have said something for Charles was now looking very put out.

"You always say that," he snipped at Darwin.

Remus continued to stare, until a sudden movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. When he turned for a better look, however, whoever it was had gone. Desperate for a moment away from Charles bickering with his silent partner, Remus excused himself to the restroom and moved over to the spot where the movement had came from.

This corner of the pub was surprisingly quiet and darker as well. Remus' tension returned and he fingered his wand, hidden underneath his cloak.

"Like father, like son… eh, little brother?"

The voice cut through Remus like a steel-cold knife. He twisted around in his spot, but he saw no one.

"Neo," Remus breathed.

"Careful," Neo taunted, still unseen in the shadows. "Wouldn't want to find the same fate as Father."

"Show yourself, Neo!" Remus turned his back to the tenants sitting in the pub and drew out his wand. "You're in serious trouble!"

"Oh?" Neo began to laugh, the sound beginning to circle around Remus.

"You have an invisibility cloak," Remus muttered bitterly. "Tell me, what else has your master given you to make you a worthy minion?"

"Things are more than what they seem, little brother. Always have, always will." Neo seemed so close that Remus could feel his breath. He lashed out with his wand, only to have Neo grab it.

"Am I really your enemy?" Neo whispered.

"You killed Mother," Remus spat. Neo was always the strongest, and his wand was now pointed to the ceiling. No chance of saying any curse.

"Did I?" He twisted Remus' wrist.

"You were there!" Remus shrieked in pain, but his voice couldn't reach back into the pub, where the din had escalated.

"So were you, little brother, so were you. Tell me, Remus- whom can you trust anymore?"

Neo then dropped Remus' wand and brushed passed his side. Remus stood there, panting, too dumbstruck to go after him. His ears were ringing and his temples were pounding. What did Neo mean?

Someone tapped his shoulder and he whirled around angrily, only to face the bartender. The old, haggard man's eyes widened at the sight of the wand in Remus' hand and Remus hastily pocketed it.

"Are you a Mr. Remus Lupin?" the bartender asked shakily, trying to peer past his robes.

"Who is inquiring?" Remus asked brusquely.

"A young woman at the bar wishes to speak with you. And may I ask that whatever business you have here that you take care of it quickly and make your exit." The bartender gave him an almost fearful glare and turned to go back to his duties. Remus brushed himself off absentmindedly as he stole a glance at the table where Charles and Darwin appeared to be caught up in yet another round of beer. Looking back to the bar, he could just make out in the gloom the profile of a very tall, thin person bending over a pint.

Reaching for his wand again, Remus carefully made his way toward her, watchful for any sign of Death Eaters- or his brother. He came level with her backside without event, but he remained highly alert.

"You act so tough for one so weak," said a low feminine voice.

"Who are you?" Remus asked tersely. "I have you know that those of the Order of the Phoenix are in the vicinity and will take action should you show hostility."

The figure turned. Indeed, she was a young woman, perhaps a year or so younger than Remus. Her long hair was dark and unruly, and her face was angular and sharp. A memory hit Remus- this was the same woman he bumped into at The Three Broomsticks the night Sirius bought his motorcycle.

"Those two over there?" She turned toward Charles and Darwin. "I hardly think they could apprehend a fly right now."

Remus frowned as he let his gaze follow hers for a moment. Charles was richly engaged in conversation with a waitress, while Darwin's indifferent face had turned to a frown as he continued to stare blankly at nothing.

"Who are you?" he asked again, looking back at her.

"You really _are_ weak," she said, shaking her head slightly. "Why, I wouldn't believe you were part of my kind if you didn't have the smell."

Then it hit him. _This_ was Beta. The realization must have been clear on his face, for she nodded with a twisted smile.

"At least you're not _that_ stupid. Perhaps you could work after all."

"What do you mean?" Remus began to grow exasperated with the idea that Dumbledore hadn't instructed him more on this encounter.

"Come with me then," she said, dropping a few coins on the counter and heading for the door.

"I don't think alone is a good idea," he said to her.

"There is no such thing as 'alone' anymore, no matter where you are," she said over her shoulder without looking back.

Hesitantly, Remus looked back at Charles and Darwin- they didn't seem to be going anywhere soon. Beta hadn't bothered to wait, and had gone outside already when Remus decided to follow. Whatever this was about, it was meant for him and him alone. Dumbledore would have said otherwise.

She was standing underneath a large willow, the lights from the pub barely touching the leaves. Sheathed in shadow, she had her back to him as he approached.

"Very few there are, like you," she said suddenly without turning back.

"Like me?" he asked, bewildered.

Beta looked at him then, and a moonbeam from the sliver crescent in the sky hit her face. Something about her awoke a feeling he had never felt before. Her sharp features weren't unpleasant, but rather invoking the sense that there was more about her than met the eye. When he realized he was staring, he looked away.

"Not too many wolves get an education in magic, let alone by one of the top schools in the world," she said, crossing her arms.

Remus said nothing. It was an issue that crossed his mind often, and he was ever more grateful to Dumbledore for allowing him to go to Hogwarts.

"As such, you're a contradiction. So weak, yet made powerful by your knowledge and no doubt skill. An ally we so desperately need." Her voice grew softer, and she too looked away.

"An ally to whom?" Remus' eyes narrowed, looking at her again.

"Your brethren. Those just like you… like me. Werewolves. The minorities of the magical world- people who aren't people, and people who aren't quite creatures. At least not all the time." Her voice was low.

"I'm not a werewolf by choice," Remus whispered abruptly.

"Who is?" she countered sternly.

"I don't consider other… other _werewolves_ as brethren. I am a human being!" But he didn't believe his words. Was he a human being? Surely a human being didn't have to change into a beast every month.

"You know you're not," Beta said his thoughts. "You are not alone, though. For centuries our kind has suffered discrimination and injustice. The time has come for great change! You-Know-Who treats our kind with equality and respect… something we've never had. There's even promise of a cure!"

"So you're with _him_," Remus acknowledged bitterly.

"How long are you going to hide the truth? How long do you think you'll last before someone you don't trust finds out about you? Can you continue to change in fear? Does your Minister know what you are? Do you think you're position will protect you if he finds out?" Her words hit him blow by blow, each making sense. Everything was what he feared- and deep down, he _did_ feel alone.

"You can make better use of your degree," Beta continued. "I have been sent by the leader of my pack to invite you to join us."

"How do you know about me?" Remus asked shakily.

"We have our sources," she said simply.

Remus' mind was a whirl of confusion. He couldn't say yes, for that would be joining the enemy- surely Dumbledore didn't mean that. Did he know this was what Beta was meeting him for? What were her sources? He needed to talk to Dumbledore, _now_.

"I don't help Voldemort," he said. "I never will."

She stepped closer to him, to the point where her nose almost touched his. Their eyes locked, and Remus could finally see the sharp aqua color she had.

"It's not every day a rogue is invited into the pack. For that is what you are. We suffer the same curse, you and I. If not for yourself, why not join to find a cure for those just like you? You have more worth than you realize, perhaps even more than I think you have." She stepped back then, still looking at him.

What was he to do?

"I can't give you an answer now," he said after a few moments.

"Meet me by Godric's Hollow on the night of the full moon if you should decide to run with us. Either way, remember, we have our sources. Do not speak a word of our conversation if you do not wish to have more enemies than you already have." With that said, she turned and walked into the small wood, disappearing in the darkness.

Remus stood there a moment more, completely befuddled with his situation. It was absolute that he needed to go straight to Dumbledore. Racing inside the pub, he rushed over to Charles and Darwin, still engrossed with their pints.

"We're done here," Remus told them quickly.

"Thought so," Charles boomed, the alcohol clear on his breath. "Wouldn't have stayed so long if Darwin here hadn't of chatted so much!"

Remus looked at Darwin, who seemed just as exasperated with Charles as he was. Still silent, however, he followed as Charles left the pub loudly with Remus at the rear. 

His brother's presence taunted him, long after Remus had left.

Dumbledore listened to Remus' every word, jotting down random things on parchment as he explained everything Beta had said. Also, he finally was able to tell him about what happened on the night of the last full moon, when he encountered the female werewolf.

Safe from prying ears, Dumbledore's office had not changed at all since Remus last had stepped foot in it. After what seemed to be an hour, and his voice had grown hoarse, Remus stopped and fell back upon the armchair as if it had taken all his energy to finally let his thoughts out. It grew silent then, the only sounds coming from the countless curious trinkets softly popping, whirling, and bubbling around Dumbledore's office. The dancing light of gently flickering flames emanating from the torches lighting the scene reflected off of Dumbledore's half-moon spectacles. He sat there with his hands folded in front of his face, looking not unkindly at Remus with a pensive expression.

"How do you feel, then, about what she offered you?" he asked Remus.

Eyes wide, Remus grasped for words at Dumbledore's tone, as if he felt that Remus would be enticed to go over to the enemy. How much did Dumbledore know that Remus didn't? It seemed as if there was more than met the eye here.

"I… I think I would be making the ultimate betrayal if were to say yes. I don't consider myself one of them… I have no interest in helping them!"

Dumbledore unfolded his hands, looking grave. He shuffled around more parchment before saying anything more.

"Do you remember the conditions of which I forewarned you about before you decided to join the Order?" he asked.

Remus looked away, his face slightly stricken.

"Yes."

"And you remember your understanding that you would have a specific and specialized role as such?"

"Yes."

"Then you must understand what you must do?" Dumbledore looked at him intently, earnestly, an expression of searching on his face.

Remus stared at him, and then he realized. How dim could he be, to not see it right away!

"You want me as a spy," he said blankly.

"The only way to defeat Voldemort now is to infiltrate unseen into his forces. Weaken him at his roots, then will we be able to match him in combat. I'm afraid that not even the combined powers of the Order could likely defeat him now. You are a very intelligent and skillful wizard, one who's rare among those who share the same curse you do. Become integrated into their society, your choice is to either bring them against Voldemort- or stop them by any means necessary." Dumbledore looked grave.

Remus stared at him, his chest becoming tight with apprehension. This was a very dangerous task. Dumbledore knew all along this was going to happen. Was Remus truly the best one for the job?

"What of my job now?" he asked, uncertain of exactly _what_ to ask.

"This is your job. You will need to make reports with me at arranged intervals on what goes on. I _trust_ you, Remus. I know you can do it."

_What makes you so sure_? Remus thought, staring down at his hands.

"What about James? The others?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"I leave it up to you to tell them if you wish. However, the more people who know of your position, the more dangerous things become- for them and for you."

_Then I really am a rogue_. Remus stared at the fire in the hearth in the office. _The dangerous one with which no pack is safe. It will either be the downfall of a society… or my friends._

It was decided that, for the first time since he was a child, Remus was to transform alone that full moon. Much to the disconcertment of Sirius and James, Dumbledore ensured that everyone had a major assignment that night. Lily was quiet, her lips taught as she looked at Remus with concern. The all left the house loudly in protest, Remus assuring them that Dumbledore had made prior arrangements. The only who didn't seem convinced entirely was Lily, and she hugged him longer than normal before she left.

"I know I can trust you. Can you trust me?" she had whispered in his ear.

"With my life." Remus could feel his heart falter at the dishonest deception he was committing. 

"You are just as part of my heart as everyone else is. Remember that."

She looked him in the eyes before James pulled her away, and Remus knew that she suspected that there was something more going on. Yet she said nothing, and his two best friends simply accepted his story. In a way, Remus was a little surprised that they couldn't sense it. They always did with Peter.

When the house was empty of human occupants, Remus made his leave to the same clearing in the woods. Leaving a stack of clothing under a bush, he disapparated then to Godric's Hollow. There he waited, until the last rays of sunlight touched the sky, and the moon made itself present. 

Every time he transformed, Remus always tried to keep his mind. Yet it was useless, like water seeping through his fingers his human self disappeared, only to be replaced by another consciousness. Just before Remus was gone, his last thought was if being so close to Godric's Hollow would keep his wolf self close enough to meet Beta. And then, nothing.

The wolf lifted his head and sniffed the air. Scents of ash and smoke, along with other things, made him bristle with the knowledge that men were nearby. Men were his only enemy, and he would do well to avoid them. He stretched his enormous muscles and shook himself, before turning to the opposite direction for his hunt. That was when another scent filtered in among the others.

A memory bubbled up inside the wolf's brain, one of blood and another that made an unknown urge well up deep from his core. It made him turn in a different direction, parallel to the men's dwelling, marking his own scent against trees and bushes along the way. In a zigzag pattern, he trotted toward the scent, which became stronger as he got closer. Tail erect and ears perked, all senses were trained now on finding the source.

He came to another incline, and, still searching, he slowly made his way to the top. There on the precipice, he found her.

Long flowing brown fur blew in the wind carried the female's scent into the air. The rogue wolf froze, his keen nose taking in all the information her intoxicating scent allowed. She stared up at him defiantly, before craning back her head to let out a single, low howl.

Like the flow of a river, shadows gradually appeared behind her. A cloud shifted, making the moonlight cast its glow upon the hill. The rogue didn't move, for the shadows were no longer shadows, but a pack. Only the sound of ruffling grass reached his ears, as he quickly passed his sharp eyesight over each individual. Every one of them was just as alerted as he was; their tails shot up above them. The female that had lured him, the same one he had seen before on one of his runs, lowered her head slightly. That signaled the largest of the wolves behind her to step forward.

Instantly, the rogue knew who he was. Coming to stand nearly nose to nose, this wolf stood a hand taller. Scars ran down his muzzle, creating valleys in the thick black fur that made him look more like a lion than a werewolf. His eyes were as dark as the bottom of midnight pools, but the rogue could feel the intensity they held. This was the alpha male, the leader of the pack.

_You challenge me, Rogue?_ The alpha demanded.

Instinct was tearing inside the rogue's mind. He did not belong to a pack, nor did he ever. Part of him told him to back down and leave, for he had no desire for company. But another said to challenge him, for it was the deepest law that a male should lead and have the right to mate. And yet something was pushing its way passed these thoughts, a sense of reason as he stared up at the alpha. The rogue weighed his odds at overcoming this wolf, who was larger and more experienced in sparring. Cunning intelligence made the rogue confident in his decision. He would wait for his chance to lead; he would allow the alpha to teach him how.

The rogue lowered his tail between his legs and crouched until his belly touched the ground.

_No_.

The alpha continued to stare down at him, his eyes sizing the rogue up and judging his worth. Then he turned to the long-furred female, and an unheard approval passed between them. The alpha then turned back to look down on the rogue.

_Do you run?_

Still with his tail between his legs, the rogue got up on his paws.

_If the pack allows_. It was the proper answer.

Satisfied, the alpha lifted his head to the moon and let out a long howl. Next the female, and not a moment later the entire pack filled the air with the sound. The rogue grinned inwardly, before stretching out his tail and joined his voice to theirs.

_Run!_

Let's run!

The stars shine, the moon glows, the hunt calls!

Each wolf cried out their exuberance and turned together to continue their monthly ride. Tail wagging, the rogue went to join them, coming up to side with the female that had so attracted him. Her eyes were sharp and blue like none other the rogue had ever seen. She looked at him carefully before he was roughly knocked aside by the alpha.

_Know your place_. His hackles were raised.

Her scents now made sense to the rogue. She was the alpha female. Only the alpha male could pair with her, and none other could challenge such a position. Yet, when the alpha urged her forward to catch up with the pack, she was reluctant. Not wanting to jeopardize his instinctual plans, the rogue wagged his tail lowly in submission to the alpha's law and ran ahead of them.

_Still a pup, you are, Rogue_. A particularly aged and wizened male panted beside him as wove through the forest. The rogue simply ignored the statement and ran faster, leaving the elder in his dust.

By the time the moon was halfway down in the sky, the rogue had counted and evaluated each member of his new pack. Alpha and his mate, three older females, another male slightly older than himself, and the elder male. His presence was treated with curiosity and caution, not being allowed any closer to the alpha female than Alpha allowed. Yet she ran apart from him, and the rogue sensed the alpha's slight exasperation at her distance. 

They came to rest when the moon threatened to disappear for the night. The rogue sniffed around him, detecting that he was close to his original territory. His new pack loafed amongst themselves, the females tenderly curling around each other as they cleaned their paws. The elder laid panting alone while the young male sat listening earnestly to the sound of scuffling rabbits in a far away hole.

An eye on Alpha, the rogue got up and pretended with youthful curiosity to inspect the trunks of the trees that surrounded the perimeter of the pack's domain. Something from his old territory was calling to him, yet the call came from his own keen mind. When the young male suddenly burst into a sprint after the rabbits, Alpha quickly went to reprimand him. Taking the opportunity to slip out, the rogue swiftly headed back to his old home.

Only one saw him disappear into the wood, and she let him go.


	7. The Den

****

Chapter Seven

_The Den_

Of everyone who would have waited for Remus as the moon's last light retreated and his mind began to return, it was only Peter who stood there anxiously amongst the trees that Remus could see. Remus was surprised, the shock somewhat distracting from the enormous headache and the pain each of his bones complained. 

Even as a full grown adult, Peter was still short and stocky, and he stood there wringing his fingers like a child caught in the act. It took a moment for Remus to get him to register that he was butt naked, and toss him the clothes he had stashed in a bush nearby.

"S-sorry," Peter stumbled, as Remus grabbed his clothing and hastily got dressed.

"Fancy seeing you here, Wormtail," Remus muttered, wincing as he carefully eased his shirt over his head.

"You know how busy I am," Peter lamented, his expression pleading for forgiveness. Remus was used to it; he always used it whenever he fell short of catching on to things. "I got off early when I heard you were transforming alone. Please forgive me!"

"Oh, please, stop sniveling!" Remus sighed, getting to his feet slowly. Peter gently gave him a hand, supporting him by the shoulder.

"I've been so terribly distant. The work has just been piling up!" Peter continued to make excuses. Remus merely nodded, narrowing his eyes.

"So that's why you didn't show up on time when you were assigned with the Longbottoms the other day?" Remus cocked an eye down on him.

Peter looked horrified, clasping his hands to his cheeks. His sudden movement nearly threw Remus off balance.

"No! I completely forgot! Oh, how could I have been so stupid. I wrote that _down_! I… I was-"

"You mean you never even showed _up_?" Remus steadied himself and looked straight at Peter. Well, it wasn't the first time Peter mixed things up. Instead of going to his Divination class back in their fifth year, he ended up in Muggle Studies. At least a good thing to come out of that mishap was Peter became the best chef with a waffle iron.

Peter hung his head and threw up his hands, completely defeated with himself. Remus winced as his head continued to throb, watching Peter moan about in the bramble.

"Oh, Remus! I'm not cut out being an Auror! All I do is mess up, and someone else has to clean up my mess. I've never been as good as you, or James, or Sirius, or Lily… I don't know why Dumbledore even let me join the Order!"

"Stop acting ridiculous, Peter," Remus said, trying hard to hide his immense exasperation. "You _know_ you're just as talented as we are. Dumbledore has his reasons, and you wouldn't have been inaugurated into the Order if you weren't a good wizard. Now, shut up and let's go inside."

"You're so testy after you transform," Peter muttered, gathering himself enough to help Remus ease back on his shoulder.

"You just try turning into a werewolf. Like a hangover with fur," Remus hissed as they struggled back to James' house.

"I've never known you to drink!" Peter exclaimed innocently.

"Just shut up."

He could smell blood.

Her long, fine fur the color of the darkest tree bark.

A plan.

Voices everywhere. _Run! Hunt! The night is dark, the moon is bright!_

Eyes as black as pools, amber like the sun, blue like the lightest sky.

_Things are more than what they seem, little brother. Always has, always will._

Remus woke up with a start. He was completely soaked with sweat, the bed sheets a tangled mess around his legs. The window of his grandiose bedroom was alight with bright orange rays that were quickly diminishing. Everything else about the room were in shades of gray. He must have slept straight through the day from his transformation that previous night. The aches all over his body were replaced by anxious tension, and he quickly relaxed his muscles and settled a little easier back on his silk pillows.

In his exhausted sleep, he had gained back memories from his night as a werewolf. Although he couldn't remember much of what happened after Peter had helped him back into James' house, Remus' mind was set on everything beforehand. To his relief, he remembered how, as a werewolf, he had managed to meet Beta at Godric's Hollow. Remus recognized her, bringing all his memories together; the mysterious werewolf who had killed the Muggle woman.

He laid there in the expansive darkness, watching the shadows dance on the canopy of his four poster. The memories played about his mind, the same shadows reminding him of the pack he had now joined. It left Remus with a strange feeling that almost frightened him. He rubbed his eyes; certainly he didn't feel content with belonging to a group just like himself! This absurdity angered him, and Remus sat up and swung his feet around to the floor. 

Pulling his hands through his fine brown hair, Remus began to hear voices from downstairs. For such a large house, he was surprised and realized that they were nearly shouts. Concerned, Remus gathered himself to get on his feet and went out into the hallway.

"It's not safe for him anymore, Peter!" Remus heard James shout.

"James, calm down," Lily said briskly.

"He's right, though," Sirius agreed loudly. "Peter, if you had the time you should have gone with him."

"Since when is he my responsibility?" Peter grappled hotly.

Remus quietly descended the stairs, his friends not noticing. He watched them bicker amongst each other, and felt himself grow hot in the face with each argument. 

It was Lily who saw him first, and her face went pale as she roughly shoved James and Sirius into silence. Confused and impatient expressions were shot at her, before they noticed the direction she was looking at and both of them groaned. They slowly turned to face Remus, who had reached the bottom of the stairs, regarding them all with an unreadable expression.

"How do you feel, Remus? Sorry to wake you," Lily recovered herself quickly and moved over to him to brush aside his wet bangs.

Remus smiled slightly at her and nodded.

"Fine. But I'm sorry to be the source of such trouble," he said with his expression hardening.

Sirius crossed his arms and looked grim.

"Don't start with that, Moony, you know how we feel about you. We're only concerned."

"That's right," James nodded earnestly.

Peter was still white in the face and again began to wring his fingers.

"Oh, Remus… oh, Remus you know you're my best friend. I-I didn't mean anything against you, honestly I didn't!"

"_He_ happened to have gotten off quite early last night. Only your transformation seemed to had slipped his mind until just before you turned back." Sirius shot Peter an indignant look. James cuffed him on the arm and Sirius glared at him in shock.

"So you're saying he should have babysat me, then?" Remus looked directly at Sirius.

"Oh, come off it, Remus!" Sirius uncrossed his arms and looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Isn't that what you do, though? Isn't it?" Remus' voice rose, making Lily take his arm in an effort to calm him. "Ever since we graduated, it's become such a hassle to stay the Marauders every month! I'm tossed around to all of you so that you can divert your plans for my sake! I'm the family pet, and this is the boarding house!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Remus!" Lily gasped.

"No," Remus stepped from her grasp and she looked at him with wide eyes. "It's true. You all may have good intentions, but I can't live off of charity forever. All of you have productive and self-sustaining lives, while I continue to depend upon you just like the dog that I truly am. I can't continue to hamper your lives. It's about time I find my own doghouse."

"Stop being a prat, Remus," James said slowly, his face hardened. "You're over reacting. We have full confidence in you, and know you're completely capable of taking care of yourself. We are only upset with Peter because the assignments we were all on last night happened to involve a new murder with the same circumstances as the last one. Our carefree days on the Hogwarts grounds are over, Moony… the land we tread on now is a lot more dangerous. You could have been caught, and we are the only ones apart from the staff at Hogwarts and the Order who know who you are. We only want to help you, like best friends should."

"Like family should," Sirius muttered, looking away.

"Self-pity won't get you anywhere, Remus," Lily said softly to him. Remus colored in shame and he turned his back on them. 

_But isn't pity what you give me all the time?_ He thought bitterly.

"I'm tired, guys," he muttered without turning. "Tired to be the cause of such worry. I am _not_ your responsibility, and friends shouldn't have to take up so much effort."

"Remus," Lily took his shoulders and turned him around. She looked deep into his eyes, her rich emerald green seemingly piercing his soul. He quieted with her intense gaze, and without taking her eyes off of him she reached beneath the neck of his shirt and pulled out the infinity charm she had given him. "Remember what this means? Infinite friendship, infinite hope, and infinite possibilities just to name a few. You hold this and tell me what it tells you."

She took his hand and opened his palm, setting the twisted metal ring upon it and folding his fingers back over. Lily holding his hand as he felt the metal dig into his skin, Remus could actually sense some trace of the virtues seeping into his mind. He looked from his hand to her face, and she smiled.

"You see, all you need to do is hold infinity in your hand and know that these things are true- they _do_ exist. You can't let your mind falter, for the things for which this charm stands for never do. Your mind is more confused than ever after you transform, having your conscious self taken over like that. Be assured, Remus, that we all mean what we said, and there is no reason for you to feel like a burden. We are a family, and families don't let their members down no matter what."

Her voice ended in silence, the only sound coming from a grandfather clock ticking in the hall up the stairs. It was broken a few moments later, when Sirius let out a stifled sob.

"Oh, Lily… you gotta stop doing that, ya know! I feel all warm and toasty inside, why, I feel like going out to solve world hunger right now!" He shook his head, his face taut in heartfelt emotion, and turned to bury his face in James' shoulder. Rolling his eyes, James patted his back as he smiled wholeheartedly at Remus.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," he said warmly to him.

All Peter seemed capable of doing was grin with a distant expression, his face still slightly pale. He seemed to teeter on his feet, looking a tad anxiously at Remus. After a moment he nodded.

"What's the use of running away?" he said quietly, looking past Remus and staring at nothing in particular.

While he felt soothed by Lily's words and comforted by the love of his friends, the feelings he had voiced were still there. He couldn't stay at James' house for much longer, especially now that he had joined the Pack. The danger would only get worse. He needed time alone to think, and plan out exactly what he was going to do. His life as a spy was about to begin.

Remus had found a quiet spot in the Ministry lunchroom to sit down with a mug of tea and think. It was three days later, and Remus and Sirius had been assigned with Aaron and Clara to investigate the second murder. During those days, Remus helped Aaron sort out the evidence while Sirius worked with Clara to classify them all and record them. It was dizzying work, and it was no wonder Dumbledore had them working together on the project. While Remus knew Dumbledore already had an idea on who the murderer was, he said nothing. It was agreed that no one would know of Remus' new role as a member of the Order. Thus, all efforts to be as innocent as possible must be made.

Even during the short breaks the foursome took between their labors, Remus had a hard time keeping his mind open to his secret challenge. He often found himself elbowing Sirius to keep him from drooling over Clara, for he had obviously taken a great liking to her. She, however, was clueless, for she was not a girl who seemed to have had many flirt with her. Clara made no effort to make herself stand out, and her interests including classical music did not take her to popular places where young people hung out to seek out a significant other.

It was her eyes, Sirius told him later, that attracted him to her. They were the color of the palest blue, and he felt lighter than air whenever she cast her gaze at him. Remus was quite pleased that he should take to a girl who normally didn't have any suitors. Although, as he observed Aaron and Clara together, he could see how much Aaron respected her and even notice how protective of her he was.

"We should call it a night, guys," he had said to them the second evening. "Clara, you're tired and you don't want to aggravate that little cough you seem to be catching."

Clara didn't seem to take anything out of what he said other than that he was just being kind. They were partners, after all, so perhaps she was used to it. When they made their goodbyes, Aaron escorted her out.

"He doesn't like her _that_ way," Sirius had muttered, his arms crossed as Remus told him of what he saw when they had left. "She doesn't like him _that_ way. They're partners, that's all. What, you want _me_ to start escorting you out?"

"Then ask her out, why don't you?" Remus grinned at him then.

Sirius said nothing then, his face contorted up in consideration.

"If she says no, then I will personally turn you into a goat," he muttered.

So it was for that for which they had finished early that day, having found no further clues that they hadn't already found with the evidence. Clara and Sirius were left alone to finish classifying what was left. And, Remus knew as he and Aaron left the office, to discuss dinner plans.

_What now?_ Remus stared into his tea as he stirred it with his spoon with slow, rhythmic circles. _I know I joined the Pack, but Beta has yet to make herself known again. Do I simply do my job once a month as a werewolf? But how could I possibly do that, when it is not me who runs with the moon, but the rogue predator that is unleashed with its light?_

But there is a plan… he thought suddenly, stilling his hand with the spoon. _The wolf has a plan, that much I know. He longs to be the leader, despite his lone personality. For now he is just going to watch, let things take its proper course. So perhaps that is what I shall do._

"What'cha do'n?" said a loud and curious voice.

Remus jumped slightly, tipping some of his untouched tea onto his lap.

"Oh! Oh, I am so sorry! Let me get that!" 

"No, no I'm alright. Please, I got it, thank you." He took a napkin to sop up the few drops, and he looked up to see that it was Emily Maxwell, the girl whom Peter was normally partnered with. She was bent over Remus with two napkins, her eyes wide with genuine humility. Her face blotted out the light in the lunchroom, and his mouth began to open and close like a fish before she apologized again and stood up straight.

"You looked so lonely over here that I thought I'd say hello," she said brightly, seemingly to have forgotten the previous incident just a moment before. "It appears both our partners have ditched us."

"Oh," Remus shook his head, satisfied that his pants were dry and tossing his napkin aside. "Sirius has taken a much needed break, and I was only thinking."

"Really?" Emily rested her elbows roughly on the table, propping up her chin on her hands. "You guys have been really busy, huh?"

"Haven't you?" Remus retorted mildly, starting to understand why Peter wouldn't want to come to work now.

"Yes," she said, taking a wisp of her bangs and twirling it around her finger. "But Peter and I have had some uneventful cases and he's managed to slip out of them a lot. Lately I've been working with Mr. Fletcher. He's such a charmer!"

Remus groaned inwardly and hoped that the hopefully convincing lack of interest on his face would get her to make her leave. He continued to fidget when Emily made no move.

"Does Sirius take breaks often?" she asked him slyly. Remus blinked at her.

"Why?"

Emily shrugged nonchalantly, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder so she could continue to twirl strands around her fingers.

"We don't all get to talk much amongst us, even though we all belong to the same group of people. I've been meaning to get to know my colleagues, and Sirius is one I have yet to have a proper talk with."

It took more effort than he initially realized to keep his eyes from rolling. Remus considered her, and immediately began to laugh inwardly.

"Well I'm _sure_ he'd love to speak with you. Only, he's a very busy man, as I am, and is currently caught up in affairs at the moment," he managed to say blandly. This seemed to deter her, and she pursed her lips slightly before smiling her broad smile and standing up.

"Nice chatting with you, Remus. Peter speaks very fondly of you. G'night." And to Remus' relief, she turned and began to leave, before suddenly turning back.

"By the way," she said. "There's an envelope addressed to you in the Main Office. Sorry I didn't mention it earlier, must've slipped my mind." Then with a last piercing look, she left him.

Remus stared at the spot she had stood in with a slightly shocked expression. Very few people would leave him a letter in such a manner. He took the first and last sip of his tea before standing up, taking the mug to the bin for dirty dishes. Remus took very slow and deep breaths to keep his heart from racing as he walked calmly to the main office of the Ministry. He had subconsciously hoped that things would take their proper course slowly. If this envelope was from whom he thought it was from, he would have to re-evaluate his plan of action.

The Main Office of the Ministry was located in the central lobby of the primary building in London, disguised as an abandoned warehouse. It was a large commuting gateway, with seemingly hundreds of wizards and witches coming and going on personal endeavors. Set in the middle of the huge, plush lobby, was the large desk that was the Main Office. Run by a whole department of wizards and witches, it served as the nerve center for the entire Ministry of Magic in Britain.

Remus threaded his way through the traffic of people going out to lunch and coming back toward the desk. He was so caught up in his thoughts of what the envelope could contain when he walked into someone.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry," he muttered.

"Why, Lupin, my boy! Good to see you." It was Mundungus Fletcher of the Order.

"Oh, hello Mr. Fletcher," Remus said politely, trying not to seem obvious as he eyed the Main Office with the corner of his eyes.

"Please, just Fletcher. Working hard, yes?" Fletcher asked, oblivious to Remus' distracted tone.

"Mundungus! Quit your dawdling, we've got evidence to analyze!" bellowed a particularly sharp voice, which, as Remus quickly noticed, belonged to Arabella Figg, Fletcher's partner.

"Right then, well, see you at the next meeting, Lupin!" Fletcher said, looking rather dejected as he met up with Figg. That already forgotten, Remus quickly finished his way to the Main Office desk.

Trying not to pant, he waved a hand at one of the secretaries sitting on the other end of the desk. A particularly beautiful witch with velvet-like amber red hair turned her soft, round, and heavily made-up face toward him with cold regard. He waved his hand a little more quickly when she didn't make an immediate move in his direction. His urgency seemed to make her move even more slowly, and it seemed like forever until she decided to make the unnecessary apparation to the spot where he stood, which was only six feet away from where she was sitting.

"Yes?" she asked dryly, looking at her red-polished, long fingernails.

"An envelope was dropped off here for me, I'm here to pick it up." Remus chose to ignore her attitude.

Her long eyelashes thick with mascara whipped up and down as she blinked lazily. Remus tried not to make a face, imagining them to be so long they could poke someone's eye out if she got too close.

"Name?" she droned. 

"Lupin. Remus Lupin." He began to tap his fingers on the desk, watching her lethargic movements despite her fit form. The red robes she wore were tight fitting, and if Sirius had been there Remus was sure he would have been drooling all over the desktop.

"Identification, please. This letter has been deemed highly classified to Level A personnel and above," she said stiffly.

Remus sighed and pulled out his wallet, flipping out his Ministry ID card. Before she could point out that his ID was not like others issued to the known departments, he turned over the hem of his robes at his collar and flashed the golden phoenix pin. Her eyes went wide before looking up at his face again with her normal, dull expression. _Such a shame,_ he thought as she handed him a clipboard to sign his name. _She's such a pretty thing, too._

Finally she handed him the large brown envelope, which had his name in small print written across it, while a stamp in big red ink deemed it highly classified material. Trying again not to look conspicuous, Remus tucked it under his robes and headed for the small office he and Sirius had been given to use in the building they had been assigned to.

Building D was the quietest building that belonged to the Ministry, as department officials there held private international meetings concerning anything that took place outside British borders. The long corridors held nothing but closed wooden doors bearing various nameplates, and there was seldom anyone commuting between them. Remus felt relatively alone once safely inside the building, and he slowly drew out the envelope as he approached the one door with the words "Authorized Personnel Only" engraved across it.

"_Honeydukes_," Remus muttered to the door, access granted by the password he and Sirius had cast upon it. The door slid open slightly, and Remus pushed it open further and closed it behind him.

It was a very small office, which Sirius often complained about despite the fact that they hardly ever used it. They were either out on assignment or patrolling the halls in the building, but Remus found it useful. Two small desks facing away from each other against the walls filled up most of the space. A single filing cabinet stood between them, along with a small portrait of a surly looking old wizard hung above it.

"Fancy you dropping by," the wizard muttered gruffly.

Remus put the envelope on his desk and looked at the portrait with a slightly exasperated stare.

"You mind?" He indicated the envelope.

The old wizard gritted his teeth and returned the expression.

"Why would I care anyway? You young louts, always lazing about! Classified material, indeed!" And with that he disappeared from the frame.

Remus let out a sigh of relief and sat down, drawing out his letter opener and slicing open the fold. With his heart racing, and a last look at the closed door, he took out a folded piece of parchment that hardly needed such a large bulky envelope. His fingers shaking slightly, he unfolded it and bit his lip as he began to read.

I knew you would make the right decision. My superior is pleased. Last moon's run went smoothly, despite his earlier objections. The Pack is a family, and as such, trust is what bonds us together. You are the rogue, and trust won't come easy. Your future actions and decisions will reflect how trustworthy you are. Nevertheless, you are a part of us now, and it is time you meet your fellow pack members as they are without the fur. This is your second test. Come alone once again to Godric's Hollow, to the hill where we came together last moon.

Beta

_Does she mean come right now?_ Remus thought, reading the letter through once more. She didn't indicate a specific time. He looked inside the envelope again, thinking there may be another bit of information, but the one letter was all there was. Looking up at the cobweb covered clock hanging on the wall above him, he still had several hours left before James and Lily got off duty, and no doubt Sirius wouldn't notice his absence right away.

His mind set and his expression firm, Remus folded the letter back up and placed it inside the envelope. Swinging his cloak on and tucking the envelope securely underneath it, Remus left the office and walked calmly to the closest apparation area. There he found it empty of other people, and disapparated without fear of being watched.

Remus' memory of the events that took place that last full moon was still sketchy, and the sight of Godric's Hollow was different to his human perception than it was to his suppressed werewolf persona. He had apparated just outside the village's border, which was hardly visible amongst the forest of large oak trees that seemed to hide the quaint little homes nestled underneath the branches. The faint sense of fall touched the air here, with the last traces of summer dripping with the faint sunlight that managed to filter through all the foliage. With his cloak flapping behind in the sweet breeze flowing against him, Remus turned parallel to the village and headed to where his muddled memory recalled his meeting with the Pack.

He came to a grassy hill. Sheltering his eyes, he looked up to the top and saw a tall shadow. Looking closely, Remus could see long flowing hair ruffling in the breeze. With a surprising bit of relief, he began to make his way up.

"We meet again, Rogue," Beta said when he could see her clearly.

"Been waiting long?" Remus asked, catching his breath slightly when he reached flat land.

"I'm known for having extraordinary patience," she said softly. Her eyes were dark, hidden underneath long tendrils of dark brown bangs. This was the first time Remus had seen her in full, and he found himself holding his breath as he considered her. Beta's sharp features were not unpleasant, and her thin form did not appear to be as frail as one would think. She had the athletic air that she could outstrip anyone in a sprint. When she caught his eye, Beta stepped back as if he were uncomfortably close.

"Come with me, then," she said quickly, and she turned and headed down the other side of the hill.

With a last quick look around, Remus followed suit. He caught up to her easily, and he wondered if Beta meant for him to walk beside her as her eyes kept sliding to his direction every now and then. It wasn't long at all before they came to an old abandoned shed that looked as if it had been neglected for over a century. The thick forest of trees sheltered it from view, and Remus never would have guessed it was there.

"There's no turning back from here," she stopped before opening the beaten wooden door and faced him. Her eyes flashed their sharp aqua color, before her hair shrouded them into darkness again.

Remus took a deep breath. _I hope Dumbledore is right. I hope I can make a difference… I hope this is the right thing._

"I didn't come all this way just to turn back," he said to her firmly.

Seemingly satisfied, Beta nodded and without turning, opened the door.

A smell instantly hit his nose, and Remus felt the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Some part of him knew this smell, and the excitement that ran through him turned into content. He relaxed, and Beta, who had been watching him, nodded again and Remus could have sworn he saw a faint trace of a smile touch her lips. He couldn't explain why the smell effected him so, and he brought himself to go past it and observe the shed inside.

Nothing… nothing but the dilapidated, weather-beaten wood of the bare walls. The floor was covered in dirt and straw, until he noticed a large square of wood exposed. Beta walked over to it, and, using the large furrows that Remus recognized as claw markings, she lifted it up to expose a narrow stairway.

"Welcome to our Den, Rogue," she said, looking at him with a ceremonial expression.

Without prompting, Remus tentatively walked over to the stairway that led down into the dark earth. He glanced at Beta, who motioned her head for him to go on, and with a deep breath, Remus began to descend.

Even for the tail end of summer, the atmosphere in this dark, earthen stairway was very humid. The walls were nothing but packed soil, with tiny strands of roots and little rocks managing to peek through. Remus hardly had a problem with the lack of light, which was only what little sun could manage to make its way into the shed; his eyes were canine keen. However, it surprised him when Beta had closed the trap door above them and began to follow quickly behind. The darkness was absolute for only a moment before his eyes adjusted, and the faint trace of electric lighting at the end of the stairs could be seen.

Remus stopped when he reached the last step, and stared. Before him was a large underground control center. Dim electric light bulbs hung simply by their wires from the firm dirt forming the ceiling, casting long shadows. Tables lined up against the walls, covered with telephone books and empty Styrofoam containers. Maps of the entire United Kingdom were pinned to pieces of wooden fence that must had been discarded somewhere and brought down here. Notes and letters were taped all over these maps, some pinned to the walls on larger exposed tree roots. Metal folding chairs, rusted and bent, were scattered everywhere.

Beta pushed herself past Remus and casually made her way through the large room, to an entryway at the back, leading to another section. When she didn't turn back or say anything, Remus decided it wise to follow.

He stopped in the entryway and stared again. This room was smaller, furnished with old and dirty furniture. Two large and dilapidated sofas, each a horrid mustard orange color, were up against the smaller walls of the room. Three armchairs of varying ugly patterns were placed at random around a huge and moth-eaten throw rug. The floral design on it proved it had seen more dignified days, perhaps in some rich manor in the countryside.

To Remus' further surprise, a small and rather pathetic looking black and white television faced the sofas. The varying wires were strung up through the ceiling like the light bulbs, and he began to wonder where they got all this electricity. 

"It only gets two channels," Beta said suddenly, and Remus finally looked at her. She was standing in yet another entryway, noticing his reactions to the room. "And one channel completely covers the art of making cheese."

Remus blinked, vaguely aware of the reference of "channels", and bewildered about her last statement. Beta's faint smiled flashed again before she turned her back to him and disappeared into the next room. Fascinated despite himself, Remus followed.

Before then, he had wondered where the rest of the Pack was. His wonder ceased when he found them in the next room. Situated around a large and badly beaten wooden table, were the other six members of the Pack.

Slightly caught off guard, Remus took an involuntary step back as he found every set of eyes turned to him. Three older women, an old man, and two men sat poised in the midst of eating what smelled like some sort of stew. Beta had moved to the back of the now-apparent dining room, where a tabletop electric stove range simmered the stew in a large silver pot. She was spooning the thick concoction into two chipped porcelain bowls. Remus' jaw had slipped open slightly, and he continued to stare as Beta nonchalantly handed him a bowl. It was only until then that she turned to her pack members.

"Our rogue has joined us at last, as you all can see," she said smartly. 

"Sit with us then, before your gracious meal cools and disgraces the masterpiece of its cook," said one of the men, who was the largest and most muscular of the them. Some instinct hidden inside Remus immediately identified him as the alpha male. The leader of this pack; _his_ new leader.

"Thank you," Remus said uncertainly, sitting down in one of the kicked out chairs provided by Beta. His place at the table found him situated between the old man and one of the women. Beta had moved to sit next to the alpha, and Remus watched as Alpha looked at her with a sense of longing and dominance. She, however, kept her eyes low and concentrated on her stew.

"My name is Abigail Warhound," said the woman next to him. "But you just call me Thistle. Everyone does." Remus smiled and nodded, looking up at her. She was the oldest of the three women, he noticed, with scraggily looking red hair. She was also very big and well rounded, making her very intimidating. Remus suppressed a shudder, however, when he noticed how the lime green of her eyes gave a bitterly sour stare. 

"I'm Remus Lupin," he said, looking from her to the rest of the table.

"We know that already," said the old man next to him with a bossy tone.

"Yes, but he doesn't know us," smiled the leader, yet it was a strange expression that somehow did not belong on this man's face. "In the past, I was known as Epson Lore. You may call me Alpha."

Remus nodded, suppressing the sarcasm of the gesture.

"I'm Puck," said the other man, who could not have been more than a few years older than Remus. "My real name is not important."

"The two women next to me are Lori and Ice," Thistle said, leaning back so Remus could see. The closest woman looked about to be in her thirties, with black hair cut in a militaristic style. Next to her on the other side was the youngest of the three, a woman with pale blonde hair and blue eyes. There was a coldness to her appearance, which answered the reason behind her nickname.

"How about you, Gildie?" asked Alpha to Beta. Beta immediately colored and only concentrated on her stew more. Laughing, Alpha went to toss her hair jokingly, before a low growl began to shake the table. Remus' eyes went wide, observing the slight sneer issued from Alpha's face before he shrugged it off.

"That old coon next to you is Churo," he said instead to Remus, not noticing his interest in the prior incident. "He's the one responsible for this family."

The old man grunted and considered Remus with his sharp eyes for a long, long time before he turned away and stared ahead at the wall with a grim expression.

"I've raised this pack as my own since I moved here from Spain," he said, and Remus could recognize the Spanish accent. "I was known as Marcious Pandego, and I had a wife and three sons. I was born a werewolf, and passed my curse on to my children. It was only a matter of time before we were discovered, and one night when my oldest celebrated his fifth birthday, the government came to my door after reports from our village pointed to us for the death of several chickens. Eyewitnesses claimed to had seen 'mutant wolves' ravage their prized birds, and that howls could be heard from my family's home. The report reached the Magic Congressional Senate, and it was their officials that dragged myself and my family outside."

The entire room was silent, everyone listening gravely. Remus could tell that everyone knew this very well, and the air of respect was evident among them all. He kept his eyes on Churo, finding himself just as solemn and saddened as the others appeared to be.

"This was before laws were passed forbidding such barbaric treatment, not that things are much better today. In those days, a werewolf was nothing but a servant of evil, the work of the devil, and a bloodthirsty murderer. There was no mercy, even for women and children, and they all had to be eliminated. While my wife was not a werewolf, there was no evidence that proved such, and, right before my eyes, my family was shot to death. Four silver bullets, one for each, were all it took.

"There was a fifth shot, but I was still in my prime then, and I managed to fight myself free and run before it reached my heart. In fear of being bitten, despite the fact that I was not transformed, the officials were clumsy in trying to detain me. I outran them easily, and found myself wandering the rural forests in my anguish, rage, and fear.

"For five years I traveled the countryside, staying far from villages and homesteads. Until, I found myself on a barge set for England. It wasn't long after I came here that I blundered upon a small pup one full moon, and a memory of what I had lost kept me from killing the pathetic thing. When I was human again, I had gained myself a charge. Epson was not more than five years then, abandoned by his Australian parents on holiday when they discovered his curse.

"As you can see, my new pack has grown since. I am strict for a reason, and cautious, for I would let myself die before seeing my de facto family meet the same fate as mine first did." He looked at Remus severely, leaning closer to mark his words. Remus swallowed under the intensity of the old man's glare. 

"Beta has convinced me of your worth, but I will make my own judgement. You are Rogue, for every ounce of you smells of the name. Convince me yourself that you can be trusted, and only then will you truly be one of us. Watch your step, pup."

Remus could feel the blood draining from his cheeks. How on Earth was he going to do this? He could tell that Churo already suspected him. Not only was Remus to be wary of Alpha, but now the old male as well.

Laughter shook Remus out of his troubled thoughts, and he looked at Alpha who was grinning at Churo affectionately.

"Don't worry about him, Rogue. His bark is worse than his bite!"

The irony of his words made everyone chuckle slightly. Only Beta remained silent, and Remus knew that underneath her dark bangs her eyes were rolling.

Everyone went on from that point as they most likely usually did. Remus became the silent observer, making himself familiar with how everyone behaved. He had expected them to be curious about his history, about who he was, but he had an uncanny suspicion that Beta had already covered that. Once, Thistle asked for him to pass the salt; other than that, he was left alone.

Thistle, he came to notice, was the most assertive of the four females in the Pack. If everyone were true wolves, in actuality she would had made the most likely alpha female. But human custom prevented this, for Alpha was about twenty-five and she around thirty-seven. Thistle was loud and brusque, often punctuating her words by slamming her fist on the table. If Churo was the father of the pack, Thistle had to be the mother- everyone showed her respect and warmth. 

Also very adamant was Puck, who was around twenty-two years old. He often glanced at Remus, as if expecting him to challenge his words. It became clear that Puck thought himself second in line as alpha male, and almost always agreed with whatever came out of the leader's mouth. He was ridiculously small compared to Alpha, with wispy tan hair and tiny hazel eyes. Until then, Puck had been the youngest male, and now that eighteen-year-old Remus had joined, his rank moved up as result. Yet, Remus came to notice that he was still treated like the mischievous child of the family. An abrupt memory of a young lanky werewolf in a mad dash after a rabbit came to Remus' mind. 

The second youngest female proved to be just as absolute. Ice lived up to her name, with her jerky movements and indifferent attitude to anyone's feelings. Almost all of her answers were pessimistic, and the others often treated her with sarcasm. This did not appear to deter her in the slightest, and it seemed as if her pale blue eyes were permanently narrowed in scorn.

Remus had a hard time reading Lori, the woman directly next to Thistle at the table. She hardly spoke, and when she did, her voice was low and submissive. It was often Thistle who spoke for her, and it appeared that they were close. Otherwise, aside from Remus, she was left alone as well, although, not with the same wary suspicion.

The talk at the table concerned issues that Remus could not connect with, although he listened and noted everything in his mind as he suspected he should. Thistle and Ice were growing more annoyed with Alpha over the size of the territory. They said he was always talking about letting the Pack grow, but he never really did anything.

"We don't have control over our territory anymore, you know that," Alpha said tersely, glancing momentarily in Remus' direction. Remus looked away, an innocent look on his face. So they weren't going to talk freely in front of him yet.

"When are we going to meet the other packs, eh? How long until we actually see some of what's been promised?" Ice gripped her drinking glass tightly, and Remus watched it, expecting it to shatter.

"Patience, Ice… patience," Churo said gently, sipping his tea.

"There are other packs?" Remus asked, genuinely surprised. Each face turned to him again, every one of them with an expression that told him that they thought he was extremely daft.

"You really are sheltered, aren't you?" Puck laughed. "Of course there are other packs!"

"There's a really large pack in Wales," Thistle said, with more sympathy in her voice than scorn.

"We often talk to a pair that live in London. You have to admire their courage," Ice said.

"And of course there's the Network," Alpha added.

"The Network?" Remus had no idea that there was such a large society of werewolves like this. He simply believed that a werewolf lived on it's own, wandering the woods where he thought they belonged.

"Muggle technology is wonderful," Alpha grinned at him. Remus didn't like his smile. "Beta? Why don't you show him what we're talking about? We'll clean up today."

Beta looked sharply at Alpha before nodding and standing up. With an expression of indifference, she walked briskly up to Remus and inclined her head for him to follow.

Remus stayed close as he and Beta made their way through the small recreation room with the television and back into the large control center with the tables and maps. Beta immediately went over to one long table with several folding chairs around it and a map of the world pinned to the wall above it. A large transistor radio and microphone (Remus was sure that was their proper names) sat on the table, wires streaming from the electronic devices and threading into the dirt wall. Remus studied the world map, noting all the colored thumbtacks pinned to different places on several of the continents.

"Sit," Beta said sharply, sitting down directly in front of the radio.

Remus obeyed, completely fascinated. His curiosity about all the electricity finally burned too much to remain silent.

"How do you manage the electricity?"

"Lots of wire and deception," she said simply. She did not explain further. Instead, she pulled out a thick wired notebook covered with dirt and fingerprints. Opening it, page after page was completely filled in a neatly categorized order of names and numbers.

"The Network is how we communicate with others of our kind throughout the world. Churo had registered our pack several years ago with the Base Center in Madrid. Each pack has a transistor radio like this one, and we communicate among each other this way. It's not too surprising that you weren't aware of other packs; we're very widespread and don't travel far from our territories often."

Her tone went a tad softer with the last comment, and Remus considered her a moment before she continued.

"Mostly we only communicate with other packs that are closer to our territory, but since we allied ourselves with You-Know-Who, we've been responsible for spreading his instructions and notes around the world."

"He is your master, but you are too afraid to say his name?" Remus said.

Beta's eyes wavered a moment with an unreadable expression before her indifference returned and she looked up at the map on the wall.

"There are a total of twelve known packs with more than two members in Britain and Scotland combined, three in Ireland. France and Russia both have the largest community of packs, each with a varying total of twenty-five. There is only one pack left in Spain, and they hold the base for the Network in Madrid. The Untied States has been divided into regions- the Northeast, South, Midwest, and Pacific Pack Alliances. Werewolf populations there are very, very widespread and are usually not that large, so each region is responsible for getting the word out to their people.

"Australia has four packs, although they are really small. Conditions there are not favorable for werewolf communities, and they have struggled against being wiped out for centuries. India, China, and Japan are just starting to connect with us. We're still registering known packs into the database, which is what this notebook is."

She slid the book over to Remus, who looked at it more closely. Each pack was named, with the list of all the members, along with a number code.

"What are the numbers? For a telephone?" he asked, intrigued.

"That's the frequency their radio is on. The only magic used here is what's been bewitched with the radio. It's impossible to intercept the frequencies, and listen in." Beta said.

"But can't the Ministry detect the use of magic?" Remus looked up from the book.

"Too much electricity." She looked up at the ceiling briefly. "Too much interference."

The ceiling, to Remus' surprise, began to vibrate suddenly as he followed her gaze. Dirt and little rocks began to rain onto the floor, bouncing off the tables and off their heads. Remus flinched as one particularly large pebble pelted his forehead, and a trickle of blood began to seep through the spot where it hit.

"Careful," Beta said, immediately getting up and walking toward a rusted tin box with a first-aid symbol on it. "We're directly underneath a Muggle farm. The equipment they use have been known to cave in our rooms."

She took a pad of gauze, tipping some hydrogen peroxide onto it. Remus made to take it from her, before she knocked his hand away and pulled aside his bangs. Her expression was not unlike Madame Pomfrey back at Hogwarts, the nurse, professional and intent. Beta pressed the medicated gauze up against his cut, and he yelped.

"It stings," she said sharply.

"No, really?" Remus retorted without thinking.

"Don't move," Beta said, lacking the gentle coo Madame Pomfrey used to calm her patients.

His face tight, but otherwise unmoving, Remus let her continue. After she had unceremoniously placed a Band-Aid over the cut, Beta put the first-aid kit back where it had been and sat down as if nothing had happened. Remus tentatively touched the bandage, trying not to wince at the persistent sting as he looked at her.

"So what is it _exactly_ that you want me to do?" he asked finally. _Besides my job of spying on you and hoping to turn you away from the dark side,_ he thought as well.

"Some of us were born with magic, parents either being wizards and witches, or Muggle born. You can teach them what you know," she said.

"It's not that simple," Remus said bluntly. "You can't expect to be capable of seven years of education in one crash course."

"We're not asking to know how to turn a mouse into a matchbox," she said icily. 

"But you can't turn silver into gold without knowing the basics. It would take months to get so far," Remus argued.

"What's the hurry? Going somewhere?" Beta snapped at him, her face in his. Her eyes momentarily flashed a golden color, which completely took Remus by surprise. She noticed his reaction and flushed slightly, turning away, but was no less calmed down.

"You can get us into places we have yet to manage ourselves. Repair our radios when the spells have broken down. You can… you can…" her voice wavered. 

"I can't do miracles." He looked at her solemnly. 

"I honestly don't know what you can do. I only ask that you try," she said quietly. The desperation in her voice was very unlike her, as far as Remus knew of her at that time. His face softened and he looked away.

"That much I can do, but I can't make promises I know I can't keep."

A moment of silence followed, before the hard indifference returned to Beta's attitude and she took the registry book from in front of him and closed it roughly.

"I don't believe in promises anyway," she said without looking at him, and stood up. He stood as well, and they looked at each other momentarily before she turned her back to him.

"You know your way now," Beta said over her shoulder as she began to go back into the recreation room. "A rogue comes and goes as he pleases. I'll see you tomorrow." 

She disappeared from view into the continuing rooms, and Remus stood there and remained staring at the spot she had left. Beta was dangerous, for it was she who had killed that woman in that village a month ago, and most likely responsible for the more recent murder as well. Her eyes were normally such a passive, deep aqua blue… but when she was mad…

Remus took his troubled thoughts with him, and left the Den.

The following morning, Remus woke and went downstairs with a heavy heart. Dreaming had only made things more confusing. He was such at a loss at what to do, that he hardly noticed that James and Lily were unusually quiet at the table during breakfast. He looked up then, and saw James propped up on his elbows, eating his porridge with a blank and tired expression. Remus suppressed a gasp when he noticed that not only James, but Lily as well were both still dressed in the previous day's clothes. It had been late when Remus got to the house the night before, and he didn't see James and Lily. Now, on top of the dirty and tussled clothing, he noticed a large gash across Lily's slender face and a black eye swelling on James'.

"My God!" Remus exclaimed, letting his spoon fall, ignoring the fact that he had splattered himself with hot porridge. "What on _Earth_ happened to you two?" His face then went beet red; how could he have overlooked the fact that his best friends were sitting half-dead across from him this entire time?

"Took you long enough," James said warily, but he still managed his mischievous grin- reassuring Remus that he wasn't cross.

"We're fine, really. We look none the worse for wear I'm sure," Lily said, a smile trying to tug on her face.

"I'm so, so sorry!" Remus babbled, running his hands through his hair. "What happened? Where was Sirius? Peter? Why didn't you contact me!"

"It happened really quickly," James sighed, pushing his bowl of porridge away. "We were out on an ambush, only to have walked in on a trap."

"Death Eaters, so many in one place that it was highly unusual," Lily added.

"I managed to take out a few of them with a stunning spell, and Lily hexed the rest with various curses."

"What's strange was that there were three groups of Aurors and Ministry officials within the area, and yet the entire lot of Death Eaters concentrated on us. It was as if they knew the others couldn't hurt them."

"One Death Eater stood apart from the rest, seemingly keeping watch. He shouted something suddenly before Peter showed up, followed by the Longbottoms. They barely had muttered a spell before the group broke up, leaving behind the ones Lily and I had hexed," James continued.

"That was when Sirius apparated, and he was so angry that without reason he flat out ran after the one Death Eater that had alerted the rest." Lily looked exhausted, and sat back against her chair.

"It was the only Death Eater that didn't disapparate," James said strangely, and Remus looked at him closely. There was an expression there that he didn't want to see. _Pity_. Remus knew what James suspected.

"There's no reason to deny it anymore," Remus said bitterly, looking down at his cooling breakfast.

"You realize that there is a possibility he won't escape next time," James said quietly.

"Nor should there be." Remus gripped his spoon.

Lily made a noise, as if to say something, but for once she couldn't find the right words to say. It didn't matter; Remus didn't want to hear it.

Two sudden pops from the foyer broke the silence that had fallen in the dining room, and both Sirius and Peter walked in looking haggard and sleep deprived.

"Are you guys alright?" Sirius asked James and Lily immediately.

"Fine, Padfoot, fine… stop worrying!" James shook his head, but stopped and winced slightly in pain.

"For crying out loud, no you're not," Sirius sighed, looking stricken. He finally looked at Remus and did a double take. The expression he wore was not unlike the kind that had crossed his face the day he found out Remus was a werewolf, and the memory of it was shame enough. To see it again was even more painful, and Remus recoiled slightly under Sirius' glare.

"Where were _you_ last night when all this happened?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I-" Remus began, before James interrupted.

"Oh, stop it, Sirius. It's not his fault. He was working, unlike _you_, who was out on a date."

_That's the truth,_ Remus thought, afraid of his best friends' anger.

"Well at least I came when I found out what was happening!" Sirius huffed, although his accusing tone had faltered, giving way to defense.

"Stop acting like a child, Sirius. You know Remus would have been there if he could," Lily said soothingly, although with a hint of annoyance.

"Let's not point fingers," Peter said, finally making his presence known. "None of it was anyone's fault."

Sirius sighed again, but his shoulders fell slightly, which he often did when he was about to admit he was wrong. Yet before he could open his mouth, a house-elf came running into the dining room, holding up a letter and panting completely out of breath.

James motioned for him to come forward. "What is it, Owen?"

"U-urgent… letter… P-Professor D-D-Dumbledore sent…fire!" He nearly fell and blacked out before Sirius caught the little elf.

James took the soot-covered letter and glanced at everyone, who was staring at him with bated breath. Quickly, he tore it open.

"What does it say, James?" Lily asked cautiously.

He looked up at her; his expression made everyone's heart skip a beat.

"Emily Maxwell has been killed."

****

Author's Note: Please leave a review with your comments and suggestions. Keep up-to-date with Orca's writing, as well as read her other fics at her private archive at http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html. You can also join her mailing list via the form there.


	8. The First Step

****

A/N: Don't forget to review- feedback on this chapter (like all chapters) is very important!

Chapter Eight

_The First Step_

By that afternoon, all remaining fifteen members of the Order of the Phoenix had gathered around the ancient table in the secret room behind Albus Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts. Every single person there was subdued, seemingly lost in thought as they silently sat in their chairs while Dumbledore gravely crossed his fingers and rested his regal chin atop them. The twinkle in his eyes was gone, and Remus was sure he had never seen the powerful wizard look so disconcert. 

Hardly a sound was uttered, except for a few murmurs and stifled coughs. Everyone appeared to be at a loss for words, trying hard not to glance at the empty chair where Emily had sat before. Remus looked solemnly at his closest friends, who all had apparently forgotten the morning's conflict. Peter sat biting his fingernails, sitting next to Sirius who was wearing a dark look. James' expression was similar, no doubt remembering the meeting that took place after his parents were killed. Lily sat close to him, massaging his right hand slowly while staring distantly at the wall.

Both Arabella Figg and Mundungus Fletcher sat with fierce looks in their eyes, arms crossed and faces taught. The twins, Kalina and Katina Atrus, wore their usual blank expressions. Clara and Aaron looked very dejected. The Longbottoms were both very stricken, holding each other tightly as they looked at Dumbledore. Charles Gates was for once completely quiet, and his partner Darwin Edwards simply had his head turned away. If he was troubled, it was hard to tell.

It was the first time in several weeks that the entire Order was brought together, and Remus noted bitterly to himself that it seemed to always be after a death. Dumbledore sighed, apparently ready to address his group.

"I knew when I decided to reinstate this sacred rite that I was putting each member at risk, and that it was more than likely there would be much lost. Yet it is always a shock when a valued comrade looses their life. Each of you is important, and Emily was someone who took her job seriously and with great enthusiasm. She will be missed, but not forgotten."

"How did it happen?" Charles asked, his tone lacking its usual cockiness. 

"She had found out about the ambush against James and Lily and went to alert them before a Death Eater intercepted her. Emily was found hidden among some trashcans about a block away from where they were ambushed." Dumbledore answered gravely.

Remus glanced at James and Lily once more. Both of them were staring at the tabletop with narrowed eyes. No doubt they felt responsible. 

"What about Pettigrew?" Arabella Figg spoke hoarsely, looking directly at Peter. "Wasn't he her partner?"

Peter's eyes went wide and he let out a squeak, looking quickly at Dumbledore with an innocent expression.

"I-I told her to wait so we could get the others! I went and got Sirius!"

"It's not his fault, he's telling the truth. He did come and get me, and that's when I apparated there," Sirius said loudly.

"That's right," Clara agreed softly.

"We're not blaming _anyone_," Dumbledore said sternly, shooting Arabella a firm look. "What we're here to discuss is why the Death Eaters had concentrated solely on James and Lily, while other Ministry and Order officials were nearby as easier targets."

"That's simple enough." Frank Longbottom let out a rough laugh. "They're the best at the job and it's them they fear the most."

Remus leaned back, his arms crossed, looking at James. He was shaking his head slightly, but no one else noticed. Remus wasn't sure if even Dumbledore knew of the prophecy, so he wasn't about to mention it to the group if James hadn't said anything prior.

"Getting rid of the enemy's strongest point would be a victory to ensure success," Katina said with her droning voice.

"Although that goes against the ancient practice of hitting the enemy's weakest point for the same result," Kalina added. 

"Whatever the reason," Dumbledore said. "The point is that Voldemort's followers are getting cockier and harder to follow. We need information and we need it now if we hope of making a definitive blow against them."

Remus stood up straighter when he noticed that Dumbledore was looking straight at him. His heart began to pound anxiously; how could everything be up to him now?

"How do you propose we _get_ this information?" Fletcher asked.

"I already have Hagrid on his way to meet with the Giants. Word has it that they have already been swooned over to Voldemort's side." Dumbledore averted his eyes.

"Granted Hagrid is a good… er, man," Fletcher muttered carefully. "But are you sure-"

"There's hardly a person I could trust more," Dumbledore interrupted firmly, looking confidently up at Fletcher. His eyes widened slightly under the expression, before looking down at the table.

"Right," he whispered.

"Now," Dumbledore said, taking a deep breath and assessing the group. "I've already written up new assignments. Read them carefully. I'll be expecting reports delivered in the stated manner daily. We will not let this latest tragedy make us weaker. You are the Order of the Phoenix, and you will rise from the ashes stronger than you were before!"

Everyone seemed comforted and enlightened with Dumbledore's confident words, and each member nodded and voiced their newfound confidence. Dumbledore dismissed them, only after raising his hand once more.

"I have sent a package to each of your residences containing the ceremonial robes that those of the Order in the past have been issued for formal and burial occasions. It is your choice to attend Emily Maxwell's funeral tomorrow afternoon, but if you should decide to go, it is the greatest honor to wear the uniform of the Order.

"Go with peace, and keep in touch. James? Remus? If you two could stay for a moment, please?"

Remus knew instantly what Dumbledore wanted, and his heart began to race. For some reason, as he watched the others leave, he felt like his entire soul was exposed. Everything he had ever done, ever thought, ever said, was visible to the world. The lives of countless others depended on his own judgement, his own experiences, and his own betrayal. 

Lily left the room somewhat reluctantly, looking at James with longing and then at Remus with wonder. He knew what she was thinking: there was something more going on with the quiet and peaceful Remus she knew. It made him shudder, and to his relief, he only did so after the door had closed behind her.

"James," Dumbledore said, looking at him. Remus considered them both, and James was staring ahead at the wall before him with a distant expression. "James, there is something you are not telling me."

James looked at him, so that Remus couldn't see his face. He could only see Dumbledore, and the parental concern he wore gave the room warmth. It was as if nothing mattered with him, and that anything could be told and it wouldn't change a thing. There was only you and him, and the level of trust so high, that there was no doubt.

"Remus already knows, that is why you and I are not alone." James must've prompted Dumbledore to say that. What surprised Remus and not surprise him at the same time was that the wizened wizard could know such a thing.

"If you know that much," James said quietly. "Then you already know what troubles me."

"Hmm." Dumbledore nodded, glancing slightly at Remus. "But I would like to hear it from _you_."

James took a deep breath, and, seemingly forgetting Remus was in the room, he looked up at Dumbledore, his body rigid.

"The prophecy. The prophecy is about me, isn't it? _The only son of the slain_?"

Remus looked carefully at Dumbledore, who had sat back in his chair with a solemn expression.

"I do not know much more than you do, other than that the facts in the prophecy have not matched until now."

"Is that why it was never mentioned? Is that why you let me open the safe after my parents were killed?" James asked.

"Yes," Dumbledore said.

"That is the real reason why the Death Eaters concentrated on me and Lily, right?"

"More than likely," Dumbledore affirmed.

"Than how is it that they know and I didn't before?" James' voice escalated.

"That, I do not know." Dumbledore's voice never rose above a whisper.

James' body lost its intensity, and he sagged back in his chair. To comfort him, Remus put his hand on James' shoulder. James turned slightly, a faint smile of appreciation just visible on his face.

"So what is it you want?" James asked Dumbledore, not unkindly.

"You need to be careful, you and Lily. Not just about where you go, but who you talk to. I have a feeling… a bad feeling, that someone is leaking information." Dumbledore looked in James' eyes intently, and Remus felt a breath of cold air flow by him.

"Who?" James sat up, suspicious.

"It's only a feeling. There is much we do not know about Voldemort and what he is capable of now. One thing is for certain, he is nearly as powerful as myself." Dumbledore sighed.

"You should go to Lily now," he continued. "I need to speak with Mr. Lupin here for a little while. I'll have him back to you before dinner time, I assure you."

James let out a big breath, and, with a long look at Remus, he left the room. Remus was unsure of what kind of expression he had had.

"I understand that you have successfully joined with Beta," Dumbledore said, getting straight to the point.

"Joined the Pack," Remus emphasized, clearing his throat and willing himself to stop fidgeting. 

"How many are there?" Dumbledore asked.

"Seven, including Beta," Remus said. And without further inquiry, he spilled into what he had seen, heard, and said during his first official meeting with Beta and the Pack. Remus was so nervous, that he hardly took a breath. He described everything, down to every dirt-covered rug and light bulb. It was difficult to remember all the details of the Network, which probably would not have been a problem if he wasn't so anxious to get everything right. All Dumbledore could do to soothe him was look at him kindly and patiently, for he couldn't get a word in edgewise until Remus finished. Finally, he stopped, and Remus sagged back in his chair much like James had and closed his eyes.

"You did very good, Remus, I'm exceptionally proud of you. I trust your judgement, so you needn't worry so much about doing things right." Dumbledore beamed at him.

Remus felt comforted, but why did he still feel terrible?

"Have you told James and the others, yet?" Dumbledore asked.

"No. I don't believe I will. James and Lily are already in too much jeopardy for me to get them involved. Sirius would only get himself in a predicament, and Peter… well, Peter would get so nervous he'd bite his fingernails right off." Remus sighed, looking away. So he had made his decision, and for that much he felt sure about it.

"Perhaps. It's better for them, anyway, but it won't be easy. May I suggest something?" Dumbledore looked at him benevolently.

Remus nodded. "Sure."

"James and Lily… well, they may need to move, if my sources are correct. The reason, I'm not so sure, nor is it right for me to tell at this time. Anyway, it may be wise for you to find your own personal residence. Someplace small and out of the way, more characteristic of your place in the Pack. It will eliminate, if not lessen, suspicions by both your friends and the Pack members. It may make things easier." 

"I…well, I…" Remus grasped for words. Again, things were moving quicker than he would have liked them to. He had known he was going to have to find his own home soon, but the way Dumbledore put it, he was going to have to start right now.

"I'm sorry, Remus, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable." There was that tone again. _Pity_. It made the words come out of Remus' mouth before he realized what he was saying.

"I already have a place in mind, don't worry." _What am I saying_? Remus screamed in his head. 

"What will you tell James?" Dumbledore looked at him thoughtfully. Did he suspect that Remus really didn't know what he was going to do?

He thought a moment, considering what he was going to say, both to Dumbledore _and_ James.

"It was decided long before even my mother was killed that staying at James' house would be temporary until I found my own place. James and the others know that I've been meaning to move out for a while now." Remus pulled his hands through his hair.

"Well, if you should need anything, let me know," Dumbledore said. "Otherwise, when you have settled and things with the Pack continue, we will meet again. Just remember how to go about contacting me."

Remus nodded, and stood up to leave.

"Oh, and Remus?" Dumbledore called after him before Remus reached the door.

"Yes, Professor?" He turned.

"I have faith in you."

At the Potter Manor, standing in the doorway of the study, Remus silently watched James from behind as he worked at the large oak desk in the room. It was dusk, just before dinner, and for the remainder of that afternoon Remus had literally torn apart the classifieds of The Daily Prophet looking for a new home. Now, standing there with a torn piece of newsprint covered in red ink in his hand, Remus contemplated what he would tell James. 

His mouth opened several times, and each sudden movement James made at the desk made Remus flinch. After seven years, he knew his best friends' body language, and the way James sat poised in the plush armchair in front of the desk revealed that he was agitated and, perhaps, a little afraid.

Concerned, his mind now caught up with what he was going to say and what possibly could be wrong, Remus stepped closer. Before he could speak, he could see the old and tattered piece of parchment on which the prophecy from the Potters' old vault was written was held in James' hands. Slowly, shaking his head, James opened a large drawer toward the bottom and slipped it inside.

"What does it mean, Moony?" James suddenly sighed, making Remus jump.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked breathlessly.

"Moony, I could hear your mind," James chuckled softly, turning in the chair and looking up at him. His face was already downtrodden, no doubt thinking about the prophecy. But when his eyes met the marked up piece of The Daily Prophet, James frowned.

"So," he said slowly.

"I need to talk with you, James," Remus said seriously.

"What's there to talk about, Remus?" James looked away and stood up, walking over to a bookshelf and staring unseeingly at the old leather bindings on the books. "I'm not your parent, there is nobody keeping you here. You are forever welcomed to stay, and you are free to come and go as you please. It's you decision on what you want to do. You have my support, as well as Lily's I'm sure. Sirius too, in his own way, but Peter's no use since he worries about his own _mother_ living alone."

Remus let out a deep breath, playing with the newsprint in his hands, getting red and black ink all over his skin.

"It's just… it's just that… oh, I dunno."

James turned and considered him a moment. He walked over and James put his hands on Remus' shoulders, looking deep into his eyes.

"You're afraid of something, Moony. There's something going on, isn't there?" 

Remus looked back, breathing erratically. He couldn't tell, he just couldn't!

"I'm afraid for you, and Lily," he admitted truthfully.

James sighed again, hanging his head.

"So am I. Oh, what am I going to do? This prophecy appears to be real. Is staying with Lily putting her in danger? She's not related, after all. Should… should we… separate? How does Voldemort know about it, when I didn't know anything before I opened that vault?"

Remus could only shake his head, his face taut. James slid his hands off of Remus' shoulders and sat back down in the armchair. He nestled his head into his upturned palms.

"Don't you wish we could go forward in time, and see how things turn out so that we know what to do in the present?" James muttered.

Remus nodded, looking back down at the newsprint.

"The ironic thing is… we probably could."

Remus did not waste any time the following morning in inquiring about the small house he had picked from the classifieds. He left early, before James and Lily were even awake. Owen, the house elf, tried to corner him into the dining room to eat breakfast, but Remus politely refused and easily got past him.

The ad described a small, one-bedroom cottage that was nestled in a rural area ten miles from the shed that led to the Pack's underground hiding place. It had previously belonged to a Muggle-born wizard who had tried in vain to write a novel, but had died before finishing his life's work. For five years it had been unoccupied, and there were some repairs needed that could easily be done. A well-worn dirt road led from the cottage to nearby Bristol, but it was otherwise secluded from the outside world.

Remus had owled the landlord beforehand to arrange a meeting, and when he arrived at the cottage's address, the landlord was waiting.

"Mr. Lupin?" the tall and skinny old man asked as Remus walked up to the front steps.

"That would be me. I'm sorry, but may I have your name again, sir?" Remus asked sheepishly. He had marked all over the ad, and had accidentally covered the landlord's name.

"Leroy McGreene, at your service." He smiled, revealing several missing teeth. Otherwise, he appeared friendly enough. With wispy gray hair and a long nose, it made his eyes appear small and bright blue.

"Well, I'll show you around some," McGreene said, turning to go back up onto the porch.

Remus followed, looking around. The place _did_ look like it had been left alone for years. Dirt and leaves, as well as dried mud from previous rains, littered the porch. It was quite small, big enough to fit a few chairs to watch the view of the forest, which closed in around the cottage. The front door sagged a little off of its hinges, but it was made of solid oak, and with a bit of polishing and new brackets, it would look presentable.

McGreene opened the door and stepped inside. Remus followed, trying not to wrinkle his nose in response to the strong odor of mildew. Lighting a match, McGreene stepped aside so that Remus could get a view.

The small foyer emptied into a large open sitting room. Three French windows allowed plenty of light to filter inside, only currently they were completely tinted by inches of brown dust. In the middle of the opposite wall, a tiny and very dirty fireplace was placed underneath a narrow mantle. A small kitchen was nestled toward the back, where another badly uncared-for door led to the backyard. Off to the left was another door, to which McGreene silently went to open and show him inside.

Remus carefully peered through the doorway, hearing his shoes stir dirt from the floor and his weight caused the wooden floorboards to creak in protest. An empty bed frame was pushed against the far wall of this small bedroom. A sink and toilet was off to the side, and a little niche in the corner revealed a showerhead. Otherwise, the room was empty.

"Well, it's, er…a fixer-upper!" McGreene struggled with a cheery tone. He looked at Remus nervously, until he looked at him and McGreene would only smile merrily. "But I'm sure you could suit it for your needs."

Remus frowned slightly, biting his lip. Maybe Lily could help him redecorate? He was hopeless at such things, but if he was to live here it needed to be modified.

"I will make arrangements at Gringotts to make the appropriate transactions. Thank you, Mr. McGreene, it will work just fine.

The sanctuary was engulfed in orange and red. Birds sang low and sleepily in the vastly cooling air. Fall came quickly here, and the trees had suddenly become bare, making the ground turn brown and orange. Where had time gone? Had it really been two months since Remus left Hogwarts as a student?

Two months. It was almost the end of August, and it was only two days ago that the moon had been full. So much change in so little time, and already the Order had lost one member. Remus never would have guessed that he would be standing where he was at that moment.

Fourteen people, dressed in long and regal orange and red robes lined with gold trim, stood next to Remus who wore the same. The phoenix pin that was normally worn out of sight was now pinned prominently above a crest that was embroidered on the right of the chest. Remus glanced at Lily long enough to notice the subtle difference between the male and female uniforms. She wore a short crimson colored woolen skirt, with black boots that reached close to her knees, along with an orange sweater with a white collar. Otherwise, the top robe was the same, the hem dragging slightly on the leaf strewn ground. The males wore heavy fleece vests with ties and black slacks. Standing together, the group looked very impressive, in Remus' opinion.

It was the air that spoiled such a sight, and Remus' face was set as he looked around at the dozens of crying and pale faced family members. They stood surrounding the casket, which was elevated and closed, covered with flowers that had been shipped in from more tropical climates. A velvet pillow was placed among the flowers, and Remus could only just make out a glint of gold sitting on top of it. Emily's pin as a member of the Order.

Dumbledore stood off to the side a little, along with Minerva McGonagall and a few other professors from Hogwarts. Other members of the Ministry were also there, not only to attend the ceremony but also to protect those attending- Death Eater attacks were a constant concern, especially with the entire Order standing there. It was an easy ambush.

Words were said, the priest gave his blessings, and one by one each person went to the casket to make their final farewell. Emily's mother, whom Remus had met very briefly only just before the funeral, collapsed in sobs over the casket, only leaving as other family members pulled her away. Dumbledore and the other professors went next, and finally each member of the Order paid their respects.

Remus was the last to approach the mahogany that surrounded a woman that he had only spoken to just hours before she was so coldly murdered. She had annoyed him terribly, but now his heart pang with regret.

_You never know what will happen, so be careful what you say. You just might not know when… or if… you'll see them again_. He placed his hand on the highly polished wood, a lily blossom caressing his fingers.

"Your fight is over, Emily," he finally said silently. "I'm sorry."

With a final look, he left the casket. James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter were standing off toward the worn path in the leaves where everyone was leaving. He walked over to them and Lily took his hand.

"Are you sure?"

"About what?" Remus looked at her.

"Moving away?"

He smiled kindly at all of them and he squeezed her hand in response.

"It's for the best. But, guys, it's not like I've moved to Brazil! I'm merely a hop, skip, and a jump away. You're welcome to come over anytime and make a mess of the place!"

Sirius grinned and elbowed James in the shoulder. "He's starting to sound like me. Should we _really_ be scared now?"

"Good Lord, Moony… he's got a point. _That's_ scary!" James laughed.

"I'm proud of you," Peter said, looking up at Remus with bright eyes. "I still don't think I'd be able to live on my own."

"Yeah, wouldn't want to miss those peanut butter and jam sandwiches mummy makes everyday!" Sirius snickered. 

"Let's go back to the house and I'll gather what I need to help make Lupin's home more like a home. We're getting stares 'cause all of you are laughing at a funeral." Lily looked at them pointedly with her hands on her hips. Remus grimaced and nodded, James and Sirius looked at each other guiltily and Peter had already scurried away.

As Remus prepared to apparate to James' house, he noticed a shadow in the corner of his right eye. However, before he could turn to get a better look, the shadow was gone.

"What's wrong, Moony?" Sirius asked, having had waited a moment while the others apparated.

Remus frowned slightly and narrowed his eyes before turning back to Sirius and shrugged.

"Nothing. Let's go."

Eight hours. Eight long hours and by the end of it all, Remus never wanted to see a brush, mop, or feather duster ever again.

Lily had completely taken over Remus' new cottage, putting everyone to work. Magic could only do so much, so Remus and the others got down on their hands and knees and cleaned like they never cleaned before. The cottage was spotless inside and out by the time they were through, and that only left interior decorating.

Remus had never shopped for furniture before, so he gave Lily an allotted amount of money from his Gringotts account and let her take care of the matter. Fortunately, she knew his tastes, and she bought the most modest (yet stylish) furniture his budget would allow within two hours hopping wizarding villages with James. The new purchases were transported to the cottage directly, and while Lily and James were still out, Remus, Sirius, and Peter attempted to arrange the pieces with as much aesthetic know-how as they had.

After a break for dinner, Lily set about rearranging things with Remus' permission and put the finishing touches in place. When she was through, the cottage was cozy and warm with earthen colors and strategically placed candles filled the two rooms with light.

"There!" Lily said proudly as she hung the last item from a hook James' had conjured to the roof of the small porch. "This wind chime is perfect here."

A gentle breeze flowed through, ruffling everyone's hair, and it passed through the large metal tubes that began to clang together in a haunting and soothing bass. Remus closed his eyes as he listened, and no one spoke for a moment.

Four candle lanterns crafted with a Celtic style design glowed from their positions mounted on the four pillars of wood that held up the porch roof. Remus opened his eyes and looked at his friends, seeing their shadows sway with their movements on the cottage wall and front window. Only, he saw a fifth shadow that was not his own, and he looked out into the black woods to try to find the owner.

"What is it, Remus? Don't tell me you want the trees decorated too?" Lily joked lightly, her sweet smile making the porch appear brighter.

Remus didn't answer for a moment, before he shook his head and smiled back at her.

"My eyes are playing tricks on me today, that's all."

Everyone nodded and smiled, before making their excuses to leave. Peter left first, followed by Sirius. James and Lily hung back a moment more, standing on the steps of the porch as they looked up at Remus.

"I hate to leave you here alone," Lily said quietly.

"This place is out in the middle of nowhere," James commented, his hands in his pockets. The candlelight reflected brightly off his glasses, hiding his eyes.

"Don't forget, I've lived my entire life out in the middle of nowhere. The woods is where I really belong," Remus reassured them.

"You know that's not really true," Lily chided gently.

Remus sighed. "I'm a wild spirit, truly."

"You may be right, but I'm going to miss you not being right down the hall… or in the bed next to mine," James said.

"I'm only a fireplace away, James. Besides, now you and Lily can be _alone_…_together_… catch the hint?" Remus grinned at them.

Even in the muted candlelight, he could see both their faces turn scarlet.

"Good night, Moony." James turned to leave, laughing.

"Sure you'll be alright by yourself out here?" Lily asked again, still red in the face.

"I'll get a dog," Remus said.

"You already have one. His name's Sirius," James said, turning back to take Lily's hand. 

"Very funny," Remus chuckled. "I'll be sure to tell him such."

Still laughing, James and Lily disapparated. Remus took a deep breath and looked around a moment longer before deciding to go inside. The wind picked up again, and the new wind chime began to clang loudly.

"You have interesting friends," said a voice, suddenly out of nowhere.

Remus whirled around. Beta stood with her arms crossed, leaning casually on one of the wooden support pillars. Her face held an impassive expression as her eyes bore into his. Remus took a moment to still his heart and calm himself, still looking at her.

"You've been following me today? That was you at the funeral, wasn't it?" His words were not a question.

"When you didn't come back to the Den this morning, I went to see what was more important," she said.

Remus looked at her with his eyes narrowed. 

"I do have another life, you know. There are other priorities as well."

"You still fight the Death Eaters," she said coldly, looking away.

"Of course!" Remus barked out a laugh at such an absurd remark. She knew very well he was still a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

"How many more of you will die before you realize that it's a lost cause? There are too many of them now, and the Master is powerful." Beta cocked her head, tossing her bangs out of her eyes. The reflection of the light on her face made her look very menacing. Remus suppressed a shiver. 

"What do you want?" Remus asked harshly, irritated.

If Beta had any response to his tone, she didn't show it. Instead, she stepped closer to him, her eyes still on his.

"There's work to do."

Remus scowled and took a step back.

"Yeah, well it's late and I'm tired. It can wait until tomorrow."

"Fine then," Beta huffed, her hands on her slender hips. "I'll be back. Keep in mind, though, Rogue… I've got an eye on you. One wrong move…"

Remus was too tired to take her warning seriously. He merely waved a hand and turned his back to her.

"Whatever," he said as he yawned, and he closed his new front door in Beta's face. 

The sound of birds chirping and intermediate low chimes filtered gently into Remus' keen ears. He stretched his body, which was nestled comfortably under a thick goose down filled comforter and soft fleece blanket. Reaching out his arms and flexing his muscles, his hands reached over the sides of his new queen sized bed, which was considerably more modest than what he had slept in at James' house. Just a few regular pillows was all Remus needed, and for the first time since his last night in his old bedroom in his parents' house, he had slept on a bed without posts.

Sunlight filled the small bedroom, warming his face and coaxing his eyes to open. With a slight and unconvincing moan of protest, Remus turned over and slowly lifted his eyelids. When his eyes slid into focus, he screamed.

Sitting on a chair close to his bed and against the facing wall, was Beta.

"'Morning, sunshine." She smirked, cocking her head at him.

Remus shot straight up, throwing the covers off of him, mouth agape and instantly flushed in the face. When Beta raised her brows, Remus looked down and noticed that he was bare skinned from the waist up. Furiously, he pulled the fleece blanket up to his chin and struggled to reach his shirt that was slung over the foot of the bed.

"What the…! How did you…? What right…? Just what do you think you're _doing_ here?" Remus cried, enraged and completely embarrassed at the same time.

"I came to get you. Get dressed, like I said, we've got work to do." She stood up, no longer looking at him and her expression business-like. Remus glared at her back as she strode out of his bedroom and he heard her rustle around the kitchen. Hastily, he pulled on his shirt, changed into his black slacks that he had worn the day before, and stomped out holding his shoes and socks in one hand and a toothbrush in the other.

"And just _how_ did you get in my house?" Remus fumed, slamming the articles in his hands down on the small table that served two for meals and the like. Beta merely shrugged, putting the kettle on the stove for tea. The original builder of the house, who was a Muggle, had installed the gas range. It was very small, and aged with rust. Beta struggled with the starter for a minute, but managed to get it alight before Remus impatiently had pulled his wand out of his pocket to do it magically.

"Well?" he snapped, still glaring as he went to the sink and began to brush his teeth.

"Can't you do that in the bathroom like normal people?" she asked, folding her arms in front of her.

"Can't you knock at the door like normal people?" he countered, pausing to do so.

"You left it open," she said innocently, shrugging again.

"I did n-" Remus started, before he stopped himself. He _didn_'_t_ remember locking the doors! When the blood rushed to his cheeks, Beta nodded, as if satisfied by his realization. However, Remus was too startled out of a comfortable night's sleep to let her win the argument.

"Just what made you think you could just walk into my bedroom and watch me sleep, then?"

She didn't answer, turning her back to him again as she tended to the kettle that had begun to whistle. Grabbing two mugs, she set them down on the table and somehow located the sugar and honey to take out too. Remus stared, toothpaste and spit beginning to dribble surreptitiously down his chin. When she finally looked at him, and motioned slightly with her fingers at her mouth, Remus finally fell back to earth and flushed again as he quickly cleaned his face.

"Alpha has a job for you," she said, immediately jumping to business as they both sat down and nursed their tea.

Remus stirred a lemon slice he taken out of the ice chest into his mug, swirling it around with his spoon.

"And?" he prompted when she didn't continue right away.

"The pack that has territory south of ours is threatening to set us up if we don't hand over fifty gallons of dragon tears. Apparently, _Puck_ had made a sweet date with one of their females, and promised them the rare commodity in exchange for her _services_." She said "Puck" and "services" with scorn laden on her words.

Remus swallowed hard. He knew what was coming.

"What do they want with dragon tears?" he asked, trying to prolong the inevitable.

"Theory is that with dragon tears, mixed with other ingredients that are just as hard to come by, you can make a potion capable of increasing your strength ten fold. For a fully-grown adult male, especially the alpha of _their_ pack, you need at least fifteen gallons of dragon tears. It sounds like the whole pack wants a taste." Beta took a tentative sip of her tea.

"Why can't you just get one of your Death Eater friends to get a supply," Remus asked bitterly. "Surely the Dark Lord has his own store."

Beta glared at him with narrowed eyes.

"It's not that simple," she growled. "To ask such a 'favor' of the Dark would be pointless, for it has nothing to do with their goals. If we were to ask certain associates for what we need, they would simply laugh in our faces. No, this is a werewolf matter. If we do not supply the fifty gallons by tomorrow evening, then we're in for a midnight brawl. It could mean the surrender of our territory, our lives, or even civil war."

Remus let out a long breath, stirring his tea again and staring into the dark brown swirls. He looked up at her, his expression slightly softer.

"And just how do you suppose _I_ find fifty gallons of dragon tears?"

Yet again, she shrugged, but her gaze bore into his so intently that he sat up straighter and fidgeted.

"You want me to filch from the Ministry's potions storehouse?" he whispered incredulously.

"Have a better idea?" she asked.

"I could loose my job if I'm caught!" Remus hissed angrily.

"Then don't get caught," she said simply.

"Easier said than done," he grumbled.

"I'm sure you can pull it off," she said casually, leaning back in her chair and taking a generous sip of tea.

Remus considered her for a few moments, taking deep breaths. He stared into his own mug, watching the lemon slice bob up and down.

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" he nearly whispered. He cocked an eye up at her to see her reaction. For once, she did not have a smart comeback. Actually, Beta looked startled. When he straightened up in his chair to look at her better, she shook off whatever surprise she had and looked away.

"Because you're the only one who can do it?" Beta whispered in reply.

Silence. The birds and the wind chime continued to conduct their song outside. Remus did not break his gaze at her, and it wasn't until she looked him in the eye after a while that he spoke again.

"Well then," he stood up, making his chair screech on the wooden floor. "Better let me go if you want this done."

All Beta would grant him was a nod. Not a "thank you" or "I knew you would" comment came out of her mouth. She simply nodded and stood up as well, taking the china to the sink and rinsing them. Remus resolved to let it go, focusing his mind on the task while trying not to panic. Should he go straight to Dumbledore now?

"I'll have some of the others follow you and stay close should you need help," Beta said when everything was cleaned. She turned to him, expressionless and drying her hands on a kitchen towel.

_Guess going to Dumbledore is out of the question, then,_ he thought.

"Then what are you going to do, if _you're_ not following me?" Remus asked, quelling his panic again.

While her expression did not change, Remus could have sworn that her skin paled a shade lighter.

"I've got… something to do." And without further comment, she brushed past him and left.

Remus stood in his kitchen, staring at the door where she left, feeling the weight of dread pile on his shoulders.

_Oh, boy_. 

****

A/N: Finished the chapter, huh? Review? Please? Oh, thank you! Be sure to stop by my official archive- http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html 


	9. Dragon Tears

****

A/N: Do be sure and leave a review when you're finished reading!

Chapter Nine

_Dragon Tears_

"Can I help you?"

Remus stared at the receptionist. The young witch was very slim, her robes outlining every contour of her body. She cocked a suspicious eye at him, most likely misinterpreting his silence. Remus simply was too nervous to find words, and stood there in front of the Ministry's potion storehouse with his mouth gaping open as Ms. Lapel (her name engraved clearly on the plaque sitting on her desk) stared at him impatiently.

"Excuse me sir, is there something you need?" she asked.

"Er…" Remus ran a shaking hand through his hair. He could just feel eyes on his back, eyes that would know if he were to mess up or do something they wouldn't approve. When he had left his cottage, it was as if the entire forest was watching him. Beta didn't say just how many of the other werewolves would be following him, but the way his instincts felt gave him the impression that the entire pack was on his tail. Apparating to the Ministry did not relieve the pressure- it only made it worse.

Ms. Lapel was growing just as uncomfortable as Remus was- only it was because of his silence and gaping mouth in her general direction.

"I'm sorry, sir, but may I see some identification?"

Trying desperately to calm himself, Remus fumbled for his general Ministry ID. Still shaking slightly, he handed it to her and she appeared to study it closely.

"What is it you need, Mr. Lupin?" she asked curtly.

Remus took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and willed himself to ignore his feelings.

"I-I have been instructed to withdraw fifty gallons of dragon tears, ma'am," he said as smoothly as he could manage.

Ms. Lapel was about to say something, when Remus felt someone clap him on the shoulder. He literally jumped a foot and went sheet white as he whirled around to face Sirius.

"Good Lord, Moony! You're more high strung than a house elf with his ears boxed off!" Sirius laughed genially.

Remus grabbed Sirius' shoulder tightly as he attempted to force his heart back in his chest. Sirius only continued to chuckle as he supported him, giving Ms. Lapel his usual charming wink. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, looking at her watch.

"So, what're you doing here? Why didn't you report to the office when you got in?" Sirius asked when Remus had finally collected most of himself. The question brought him back to reality and his heart only began to panic again. Sirius was here! This was not supposed to happen! What was he going to say? _Oh, I just needed some fifty gallons of dragon tears to make a muscle enhancing cocktail for a little pick-me-up, that's all!_

"I, er… I, well…" he stuttered.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lupin," Ms. Lapel cut in airily. "But I'm afraid you'll need written permission from the Minister himself for such a pure ingredient as dragon tears. Especially fifty gallons of it."

Remus turned to her, feeling as if he was sweating buckets.

"Dragon tears? What do you need with dragon tears? And so much of it, too?" Sirius looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression.

Remus turned back to look at him, completely pallid. Sirius' expression grew even more puzzled. Concern filled his eyes.

"Remus? What's going on?"

"Dumbledore!" Remus said quickly, his mind suddenly finding a legitimate excuse. "Dumbledore asked for it."

Before Sirius could say anything more, Remus turned back to the receptionist and pulled back the hem of his cloak to reveal the golden phoenix pin of the Order. Ms. Lapel's eyes widened with surprise and nodded.

"One moment please, then, Mr. Lupin." She got up and went through a door.

"You still haven't answered my question, Moony," Sirius said, nudging Remus in the shoulder.

Feeling only slightly better, Remus carefully looked at him.

"Dumbledore owled me this morning and gave me explicit instructions to retrieve fifty gallons of dragon tears." The lie tasted bitter in his mouth.

"But why?" Sirius asked, completely befuddled.

Remus shrugged, hoping that Sirius couldn't see his shoulders shaking from nerves.

"Who knows?"

Sirius appeared to study him a moment, before shrugging himself and shoving his hands in the pockets of his cloak.

"Well, it's not all that surprising. Dumbledore is a pretty spontaneous old wizard, if you ask me."

"And you're not?" Remus struggled with a light, normal tone, trying to assuage both himself and Sirius at the same time.

The humor returned to Sirius' eyes and he smiled mischievously at him.

"Ah, good point. Like that giant purple caterpillar that's now chewing on Ms. Lapel's expensive-looking white jumper."

Remus started and whirled around to see, in fact, a purple caterpillar the size of a frankfurter munching contently on the fibers of the white sweater hung on Ms. Lapel's chair. Sirius erupted in bales of laughter as Remus, his face pained, struggled to bat the insect off. Unfortunately, Ms. Lapel returned, a huge keg suspended magically behind her. She looked at Remus, first with confusion, then with horror when she realized what he was attempting to do.

"_Mr. Lupin_!" she cried, outraged.

Completely horrified, Remus stopped and stared with his mouth agape again. He attempted to say something, but once more found himself speechless. Finally, while Ms. Lapel whined and fretted and made disgusted, distraught sounds over her sweater, Remus pulled out his wand and said the first spell he could think of.

"_Accio_ caterpillar!"

With a swoosh, the huge purple insect was magically pulled from the sweater and into his open hand. After a brief sigh of relief, Remus yelled disgustedly and dropped the caterpillar to the floor. With Sirius still in a fit and Ms. Lapel crooning over her garment, Remus proceeded to stomp the creature with a loud squish. Purple guts went everywhere, including the sleeve of Ms. Lapel's sweater.

"Ugh! Oh, how dreadful!" Ms. Lapel screamed.

Sirius was practically on the floor, doubled up.

Remus flashed a look of fury at him and tried his best to cajole Ms. Lapel. He brandished his wand to attempt a cleaning spell, but the outraged receptionist pulled it from his reach and sent the fifty gallon keg of dragon tears hurtling at him.

"Just _GO_! Go!" she bellowed, turning with her soiled sweater and disappearing back through the door.

Remus had only just managed with his wand to stop the keg of dragon tears from permanently bashing his face in. He stared at it, the wooden keg floating in front of him. Now, to get this back to the Pack and report to Dumbledore before Sirius got to him first with questions. 

Remembering Sirius, Remus turned to him, all color back to his flesh and growing continuously red. Sirius struggled to his feet, regaining his composure.

"You should've seen the look on your face!" he continued to chuckle, pointing at him.

"You idiotic prat! You _know_ I don't like insects! And look what happened! You can bet I won't be able to withdraw any more potions while Ms. Lapel has a shift!" Remus raged.

"Aw, calm down, Moony. You just said so yourself that I was spontaneous. Besides, now you have your tears. What are you going to do with it?"

Remus looked at him, the fear racing his heart again.

"Go to Dumbledore, of course," he said slowly.

Satisfied and cleared of his laughter, Sirius nodded and clapped his hands together.

"Well then, I shall see you when you're finished. We have rounds later, you know."

Remus could just feel his shirt become wet with his nervous sweat. He swallowed hard and called after Sirius as he began to leave.

"I may not make it, tonight. Peter will have to pair with you."

Sirius looked back at him a moment, confusion flickering yet again across his face, but he nodded once more and rolled his eyes.

"Great."

Remus did not move until he was sure Sirius was gone. With the corridor clear of anyone else, he magicked the keg to follow him and left the building.

_Now I wish I had James' invisibility cloak_, Remus thought. He felt very exposed outside, facing a line of trees that surrounded the disguised building that was part of the Ministry's main offices. Looking around him, Remus was completely at a loss of what, or rather where, to go next.

He did not have to think long, for there was a low whistle that brought his attention to the trees in front of him. There, hiding behind the trunks in the shadows, were three people he recognized from the Pack.

The one who whistled, Remus could see, was Ice, the tall, tight-lipped blonde. She motioned for him to come over quickly, and he did so. The keg floated behind him, and once he reached the trees, Ice and the two others grabbed it roughly.

"You sure there's fifty of it?" asked Thistle, one of the other two.

Remus nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

"If not, you can be sure you'll be the first to answer to D Two," said Puck, the second member. His voice was harsh, leering up at him with narrowed eyes. Remus found himself glaring back; it was Puck's fault this was happening, after all.

"Oh, shut it, Puck! It's your fault we're in this mess. If D Two doesn't tear you apart, Alpha surely will. It's a miracle he hasn't already," Thistle said angrily, cuffing Puck's ears. Remus tried hard not to smile, thanking Thistle silently in his head.

"D Two?" he asked instead.

"That's the assigned designation of the pack that this young twit decided to fool around with," Ice grumbled, pushing the still-suspended keg roughly toward Puck.

"Quiet! All of you! If you haven't already forgotten, we're still smack in front of the Ministry of Magic! Let's go," Thistle snapped.

With Puck in the lead with the keg of dragon tears, they crept through the trees and headed toward some other abandoned buildings that Remus knew were actually as they appeared. He felt like enormous weights had been piled on his shoulders, and more was being stacked upon him as each moment passed. Never in his dreams did he imagine himself in this position four months ago. Now that seemed a lifetime away, a time of innocence. As he squeezed himself through a jagged gap in the siding of one run-down, ignored warehouse, Remus could not recognize himself. He had become Remus the criminal, the outlaw. 

Puck led them over to a metal shaft that led downward underground. A set of rusted metal stairs descended into darkness, and Thistle took out a flashlight she had tied to a belt loop on her patched jeans. Remus had to remind himself that Muggles were not immune to werewolves, and that the sole reason why they wanted him as a member of the Pack was because he was an educated wizard. He could have easily lighted his wand, but decided against it, being so close to the Ministry.

They got to the bottom of the stairs, and Remus was surprised to find himself in a tunnel that had been dug in the earth. Without a word, the three Pack members led him further into the gloom, the flashlight only reaching a few feet in front of them and casting eerie shadows on the packed earth around them. Before long, they came upon a brick wall that had a hole knocked through it. Walking inside, Remus realized that they were now in an old Underground station.

"This line was abandoned years ago," Thistle explained, noticing Remus' awe. "Now it serves our purposes. It leads us straight home."

Puck, with the keg of dragon tears, and Ice jumped down onto the railway and began to walk into the tunnel. Thistle motioned for Remus to follow and jumped down herself. Remus carefully clambered after them, his mind reeling with this surreal situation.

It took nearly thirty minutes to get to the next abandoned station where Thistle announced was their stop. Puck, uncertain with the magicked keg, managed to get all fifty gallons of dragon tears up to the surface again. Remus followed Thistle and Ice closely, and when he found himself coming up into broad daylight, he panicked. 

The station exit led straight up to a country road next to some downtrodden looking buildings. Thistle hushed them for silence, for, to Remus' horrific surprise, there were people milling about. A gas station was serving a few cars, and it wasn't until the Muggles were distracted with paying that Puck dashed out into the woods across the road, carrying the keg awkwardly, as it was still magicked.

Next went Ice after a car zoomed past and the Muggles were still occupied at the station. Thistle pushed Remus forward, and motioned her head for him to go when one Muggle turned away. With a lump in his throat, Remus ran quickly across and threw himself behind a tree trunk. Breathing heavily, he glanced at Puck and Ice. Puck rolled his eyes and smirked.

Thistle came a few minutes later, after the cars that were at the gas station had left.

"Home, you lot," she hissed, more so at Puck than Remus or Ice.

It didn't take long before Remus found himself once more in the bowels of the Pack's hideaway. The large room with the maps and folding chairs was now busy with the others of the Pack. Churo, the elder male, was consulting with Ice over a carefully tacked out diagram. Thistle and the other woman named Lori were sitting quietly in a corner, nursing mugs of tea. Puck had resulted to inspecting the keg of dragon tears, shooting quick glances at Remus. Remus himself stood there in the middle of the room, not quite sure what to do.

"Well then," said a voice from behind him. "I see you survived."

It was Alpha. Remus turned to him, his expression still slightly bewildered. Alpha loomed over him with an intimidating grin, his muscular hands rested on his broad hips.

"You're surprised, then?" Remus found himself saying.

Alpha barked out a laugh, which, to Remus' ears, sounded very much like the wolf that resided inside of the large man.

"Beta was especially keen that you would, but, yes, I admit I had my doubts. However, you _were_ the only man for the job. I must say that in a way, you've saved the Pack. For that, I am grateful."

"The Pack has not been saved _yet_," said a quiet voice. Beta appeared from behind Alpha, looking just as she had that morning in Remus' bedroom. However, as Remus found himself swallowing hard in her presence, glancing at Alpha's amused look toward his second-in-command, he noticed that Beta had a tired aura around her. She looked almost wary, and her eyes could hardly be seen at all through her shaggy bangs.

"Oh?" Alpha leaned down toward her, not showing any reaction when she moved away.

"The Pack won't be safe until that idiot Puck fixes the problem. It's a shame that we had to go to such lengths for _his_ mistake," she said.

Remus said nothing, keeping his face nonchalant as he watched the two converse back and forth tongue-in-cheek.

_What lengths did _you_ go to?_ Remus thought with a little resentment, looking at them.

"Yeah, well, it was Puck who started it and it will be Puck who'll end it." Beta looked toward the young man with contempt. Puck had a snide look about him and he glared at them as he continued to circle the keg.

"She's right," said Churo, coming over after giving Ice a sheet of paper and watching her go off into the back rooms. "It will be Puck who will hand over the dragon tears. Only, it would be wise for you, Beta, and young Rogue here to flank him in case of trouble. I know the alpha of D Two fairly well, and he has been known to go back on his word more than once."

Puck stormed up at this point, scowling at the old man.

"You think I can't do this on my own? I don't need magic boy here to save my hide!" he shouted angrily.

Remus didn't say a word, but he could see Beta looking at him from the corner of his eye. Alpha, however, clapped a hand on Remus' shoulder and laughed.

"Oh, shut it, Puck! Rogue needs to see his world, get to know what we're all about. Time he gets a taste of our borders and see others. Heaven knows that if you start to get your neck snapped, you'll be running back with your tail between your legs before we even think of stepping in."

Puck turned hotly to Alpha, but the leader was a good head and a half taller than him, and it was clear who was law. They stood there glaring at each other a minute, before Puck succumbed angrily and scuffed away. Churo watched it all with his cool and watchful eyes, completely indifferent, while Beta smirked with her arms crossed.

"How soon are we leaving to meet this other pack?" Remus asked tentatively, breaking the silence.

"Nightfall," Alpha said. "We only meet others under the light of the moon, whatever face it shows the world."

And it was so, for Remus found himself standing amongst a tangle of trees under the light of the crescent moon that evening. Beta and Alpha stood on either side of him, watching with narrowed eyes as Puck dragged the keg of dragon tears into a clearing. 

The meeting place was in a part of the forest that reached the far edge of the Pack's territory. According to the Network's registry, the Pack was titled A One. D Two's territory only touched the Pack's in a small part in this forest. Like Beta had said, a werewolf's pack territory is large and widespread. It was rare to come together like this, which explained why the Pack was so angry with Puck.

At first, there wasn't anyone there. Puck, panting, managed to get the fifty-gallon keg out to the center. He stood there, catching his breath, and looked around. Remus glanced at Alpha and Beta, who were not looking at Puck, but at the trees on the other side of the clearing. It was then that he heard them.

Eleven shadows were gliding away from those trees, growing bigger as they approached Puck. Remus could only hear their footfalls on the tall grass, crunching gravel or a twig here and there. Even as they came within a few feet of Puck, Remus still could not make out any of their features. It was as if they were one with the night. He would later learn that D Two was one of the oldest packs in Britain, despite its title on the Network. It was rumored that there were some uneducated wizards in their pack, and that raw magic protected them. Remus argued this- unregistered magic with the Ministry does not go undetected.

"Well?" said a very deep and menacing voice. Finally, a cloud shifted, and the crescent moon's dim light was cast upon the owner. If Alpha was large, this man was huge. He had wild, long blonde hair and a pointed nose. Every inch of him was solid muscle, and Remus could sense Alpha tensing up. This man was D Two's alpha, their leader, and apparently a well-matched rival.

"I've got what yeh want, Duryan," Puck said, his voice cold.

Duryan simply pushed him roughly aside and looked the keg up and down, tapping it to see if it was indeed full.

"Impressive, mutt," he sneered. "Dunno how yeh done it."

Remus could tell Puck was nervous, he could sense his fear. Already, to his confused surprise, Remus was connecting to the other Pack members. Puck's nervousness made him alarmingly eager to help him. Nearly horrified, Remus looked at Alpha and Beta in turn. Both of them had eager expressions on their faces, Alpha more than Beta.

_This can't happen! I won't allow it!_ Remus pounded his head.

"Well, take it and be off with you!" Puck said irritably, his arms crossed.

"Not so fast, mutt. You're not off the hook yet," Duryan said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

The rest of D Two chuckled softly, and Puck's eyes began to show that fear he was keeping at bay. He was still young, and hardly a match should D Two attack.

"What do yeh mean? You've got what yeh asked for, now leave!" he shouted.

"I mean that if it turns out that this keg is not full of dragon tears, and the labor intensive concoction we plan to make fails, you can expect fur to fly next moon." Duryan flexed his muscles.

Remus expected Puck to retort quickly back that the keg really was full of pure dragon tears and that there was no reason to make doubt. However, there was a flash in Puck's eyes that made Remus wonder. Puck's mouth dropped open and he shook his head.

"I hardly believe that necessary, Duryan," Alpha said loudly, stepping out from his place. Remus watched him stride up to them, and turned when he heard Beta move as well to follow. Feeling that there was need to show backup, Remus went out too.

"Oh, Alpha?" Duryan's amused expression turned cold when Alpha faced him. "Are you, the alpha of your pack, guaranteeing the validity of the contents in this keg?"

Remus stood slightly behind them, in Beta's shadow. His entire body was rigid as all his senses went on full alert. He felt extremely exposed and vulnerable. Alpha turned to him, and Remus stared back with all the innocence and assurance he could muster.

"Yes," Alpha said firmly, looking back at Duryan.

Duryan bit his lip and glowered down at Puck, who had moved beside Alpha with as much dignity that he had.

"Very well," Duryan sniffed. "But if that mutt so much as steps foot or paw in my territory again, you can be sure we'll be back."

"You forget that we're under an alliance right now," Beta said gruffly, stepping forward as Duryan hefted the keg into his arms with little effort. "We're all working for the same cause. It's foolish to continue petty issues that are so primitive."

He looked at her with a glint in his eye. Beta shifted a little as he remained silent, seemingly sizing her up. Remus glared at Duryan, not trusting his words at all. Alpha stepped in front of Beta, shielding her from Duryan with a possessive stance.

"Your mate is very outspoken," Duryan said silkily.

"I'm not his _mate_," Beta nearly growled. 

"You'd do well to leave now, Duryan. Our business here is finished," Alpha said loudly. He began to walk backwards, forcing Beta to do the same. She apparently was not pleased, and her expression turned exasperated when Alpha still had not removed himself from in front of her. Puck had already walked briskly back to the shelter of the trees. Remus stood rooted to his spot, still staring keenly up at Duryan with distaste. He didn't trust this man at all, and he had a strange sense of foreboding about him. Duryan finally noticed him, and regarded him without interest.

"Fresh meat, I see," he said. "And still a pup. What's your name, boy?"

Before Remus could answer, Beta had shoved herself out from behind Alpha and strode over to Remus, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back.

"Rogue… and be warned, Duryan. We have sources should you violate the terms of the Network."

He laughed and a few of his pack members came up and took the keg from him. 

"I'd watch that one, young Rogue. She's got a bite to match that bark of hers."

Remus pulled himself free of Beta and watched as Duryan and the rest of D Two disappeared back into their side of the clearing. Silence soon followed, and Remus looked around him. Puck was leaning up against a tree, looking anxious to leave. Alpha and Beta were both glaring at the spot where Duryan had left.

Of everything Remus expected Beta to have said after that encounter, he did not really expect what happened next.

There was loud crack, and Remus jumped and looked at her and Alpha. Alpha's left cheek was a bright and ghastly red, and Beta stood before him more enraged than Remus had ever seen her.

"I can take care of myself," she said vehemently. 

Alpha looked as if they had gone through this before, and glanced at Remus and Puck before turning back to her. His voice was a deadly calm.

"He was coming on to you," he said.

"Like I would let him!" Beta raged.

"I don't understand why you're so upset!" he yelled back.

"I am _not_ your property! I am _not_ you're mate! I won't be treated as such any longer!"

Alpha seemed to grow larger, and Remus cringed. He had apparently been holding himself back because of Remus and Puck, but now that did not matter. He swung out his hand and grabbed Beta's arm roughly. She yelped slightly, but glared angrily back up at him.

"I don't care what you think! You are _Beta_, your place is beside me! I won't tolerate your attitude for a minute more!"

Alpha had both hands gripped tightly and possessively around Beta's arms as she tried to pull away. He was twice her size and at least ten times stronger. Remus watched, aghast, as Alpha continued his lock on her even when a sickening crack and Beta's scream of pain deafened the air.

Remus acted before thinking. He leapt over to them and wrenched Beta free from Alpha with all the strength he possessed. It never occurred to him to use magic, for that would've been safer. He stood between them, defiantly glaring up at Alpha despite the wobble in his legs.

"You have no right to treat a woman like that!" he said heatedly, hoping that only he could hear the waiver in his voice from sheer terror of the large man in front of him.

"_Move out of my way_," Alpha whispered low and dangerously.

"No," Remus forced himself to say.

"Rogue…" Beta started. Remus faltered, and Alpha used that opportunity to land a square perfect punch to his left eye.

The world went black for a moment, before he opened his right eye and found he could not see out of his left. His head was pounding and his ears were filled with angry shouting. Tentatively, he felt his left eye, wincing as the pain intensified. The whole left side of his face was bruised, his eye swollen shut.

Because of his enormous headache, he couldn't make out what Alpha and Beta were shouting. Soon though, it came to an abrupt stop and he felt himself being pulled to his feet. He could just make out Puck standing in front of him, looking inconvenienced.

"C'mon, Rogue," he said. "Served you right, though. You don't stand between Alpha and Beta. It's just not done."

Remus could have sworn he heard him mutter "Not yet" when he turned around, but the pain overtook his attention and it was all he had to keep up with Puck to be led back to the Den. However, as they drew closer and the scents that hit Remus' nose with all that told of the Pack, he stopped.

_No…This is not my home. I will tend to my own wounds in my own house, thank you_. He dropped back into the shadows, and Puck either didn't notice, or didn't care.

Remus sent an owl to Dumbledore the following morning, explaining what happened in a code that had been devised exclusively for him and Dumbledore alone. He also said he'd be taking a few days off, despite the knowledge that he would also need time after the next full moon. This, not surprisingly, alarmed the attention of his friends. The following evening, Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter had made their way into Remus' cottage and completely took over.

"How on _earth_ did you get such a shiner?" Sirius marveled, touching the swelling bruise on Remus' face. Remus winced and batted his hand away.

"I _told_ you already," he grumbled, willing his heart not to reveal his lie. He wasn't sure which hurt most, the bruise or the betrayal.

"I think it was very admirable of you, Remus," Lily soothed, handing him a cold compress that had been soaked with special herbs for healing. "You could have saved her life."

"Yeah, well, I don't understand why you didn't hex the guy," James muttered, sitting on the small sofa across from Remus.

"He was a _Muggle_, James. I'd rather have this than be locked up for breaking the Magic Concealment Act," Remus said.

Remus had given a story not too much unlike the real one of leaving his assignment only to notice a Muggle couple fighting in a deserted street. He stepped in when the man began to assault the woman, only to be punched in the face.

"Have you learned nothing of pranks in the years we spent together at Hogwarts?" Sirius shook his head. "Really, Moony, this is disappointing."

"Oh, leave him alone," Lily chided him. "He needs his rest. We should be going."

"But, what about… shouldn't we-?" Peter started as everyone stood up, but James and Sirius threw a look at him so severe that Peter literally jumped and shut his mouth.

Remus raised the eyebrow over his good eye at them. There was an uneasy silence.

"What about what? Shouldn't what?" he asked, frowning as he looked at each of his friends in turn. All of them wore a mixture of expressions and it was hard for him to decipher what they were hiding. But he knew it was not good and it involved him.

"Get some rest, Remus," Lily said finally, forcing a small smile and pulling on her coat.

"No," Remus stood up, holding on to the arm of his chair as he swooned a little from standing up too fast. Lily immediately came over and steadied him. "What is it, Peter?"

Peter worriedly looked at James and Sirius, question in his eyes. Both of them were silent and their expressions hardened. Finally, Sirius sighed and crossed his arms, leaning up against the wall.

"He is going to find out soon enough anyway," he muttered.

Peter swallowed and looked at the ground as he spoke. 

"It's about your brother, Remus."

Remus sat back down and sighed, Lily looking at him intently with her face grim.

"Sirius and I were out on assignment yesterday, when we encountered a large group of Death Eaters," Peter continued. "We engaged them and managed to stun many of them. When backup arrived, we had captured all but one. It was the only Death Eater not to fire a curse, who had stayed at the back behind the others. He… he set fire to the homes that were next to us with a torch he had been holding. Then he disappeared. When those captured were questioned last night, we managed to get his name."

Remus stared at him, willing his breath to become steady. He knew all along what his brother was, but now this just confirmed it officially. Lily put her hand on his.

"It was Neo Lupin," Peter said and looked away. Remus could see his hands shaking.

A strong gust of wind made the windchime outside clash loudly. The swaying branches from the trees outside hit against some of the windows. Remus stared at the ground, and he felt James come over and touch his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Remus," he whispered.

"We knew it all along, there's nothing to be sorry about," Remus muttered.

"I'll stay with you, tonight," Sirius said, walking over to stand before him.

"No, no I'm fine. You guys get home, it's late," Remus said blankly.

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but stopped as he looked up at James and Lily. Peter had moved to look out the front window, the lights from the lit lamps reflecting dramatically on his face.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, bending down to look at him in the eyes.

"Yes," Remus said firmly.

Sirius did not look convinced and shook his head.

"I'm coming over first thing tomorrow morning. I'll tell Dumbledore I'm taking the day off."

"You guys are overreacting," Remus looked up at them all, hoping his expression looked convincing. "I can take care of myself. We're not kids anymore."

"Maybe so," Lily said quietly. "But who would've thought we'd be going through this now, only nearly three months since we graduated. We're only eighteen and nineteen years old, and already we've done and seen so much as our elders have. So much changed in so little time."

"This is the real world," James said seriously. "These are dark times and it will continue to be hard until Voldemort is stopped."

Everyone nodded, except Lily and Peter. Remus looked at both of them and noticed a deep look in their expressions. He was not sure what to make of them… how strange they looked. 

"We should go," James sighed. He came around, stood next to Sirius, and bent down to look at Remus directly. It struck him to see James look so much older than he was. Being a member of the Order had already taken its toll- on all of them. "But we're going to help you set up some barrier spells around the cottage. There could be a chance that your brother could find you."

"Hey, did anyone see Peter leave?" Sirius asked suddenly, making them all turn to the window where Peter was seen last. No one had heard him go out the door.

"Last night's battle had a big effect on him," Lily said quietly. "I think it was the first time he dueled in a real situation."

"But we've all had our share of rough encounters since the Order came together. I would've thought Emily's death would bug him more." Sirius went to look out the front door. The porch was empty and there was nothing moving in the forest. 

"Oh, but it has," James said heavily, standing up to retrieve his wand from his coat pocket. "He's changed a lot on the inside. Can't you tell?"

"The little rat has always been a step apart from us," Sirius said simply, pulling out his own wand. "Well, let's do this. Moony needs his sleep."

Remus was ordered to stay inside and sit while the rest of them walked about the cottage, setting various barrier spells in place. Lily then cast a special charm that would only allow certain individuals to come into the cottage. When Remus came out to speak the names of only those that would be able to pass this charm, Lily took him aside and told him the counter-charm.

"Not really safe to not know the counter-charm," she said lightly, winking at him. "There is also a special emergency charm that, in the case you are incapable of casting the counter-charm, will instantly drop all the barriers including this one."

Shortly after, they left. Remus went back inside and sat down heavily in his armchair. He felt a thump bounce on his chest, and, reaching inside his shirt, he pulled out the infinity charm that Lily had given him. Remus pulled it up to his face, turning the metal charm in the candlelight with his fingers. He stared at it, until the glistening image of the twisted loop burned into his eyes. Remus remembered all of what it stood for, how Lily had emphasized and believed in every word.

__

Infinity. For infinite friendship, infinite hope, infinite love, infinite harmony, infinite wisdom, and infinite possibilities, he remembered.

"And infinite betrayal."

What was he doing? He was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, not the Pack. His job was to fight the Dark, not help it. There were Death Eaters to arrest and people to save… and he's out running around doing errands for the enemy. Remus thought his values, morals, and beliefs were all sound, that nothing could convince him to go against them. Dumbledore may have given him this task, but there was no reason to lie to his closest friends.

"I'm going to tell them what I'm doing," he said aloud. "They have a right to know."

There was a flicker in the light, down by his feet and along the wall. Remus leaned over, thinking something had fallen from the small table that stood next to his chair. He saw nothing, and shrugged.

"I may be a werewolf, but I'm also a human being." Standing up, he took his cup of tea that had been on the table and put it away. He dampened another cloth, soaked it in the herbs Lily had left out for the purpose, and went to bed.

The next morning, Sirius had let himself inside the cottage and was busy making breakfast when Remus finally woke up. The swelling around his eye had gone down considerably, thanks to Lily's treatment. Remus plopped down at the kitchen table, reaching for his tea and a slice of lemon.

"You look better," Sirius commented, putting a plate full of bacon and eggs in front of Remus. "A day off is what you need, away from work. James and Lily are going to see if they can get off early. I already went ahead and made reservations at the Bubble Room for dinner tonight."

Remus let his mouth drop slightly, looking up at Sirius.

"But it takes months to get a table available at the Bubble Room. Besides, it costs a fortune!"

"Moony, haven't you taken _all_ the advantages of being a member of the Order?" Sirius shook his head at him mockingly. "Just flash your little golden ticket and you're in! Besides, James said he was picking up the tab; money is no object with him, you know."

Remus ran a hand through his bed tussled hair, giving Sirius a chiding look.

"He can't possibly do that, and besides, you shouldn't be using your title as a freebee. It's not right."

"Your solitary lifestyle has warped you, Moony," Sirius said, chewing his eggs. "Since when have I been known to follow all the rules? You really _do_ need some Marauder time."

Remus was about to object, but Sirius quickly took his fork and stuffed a slice of bacon into his mouth before he could say anything.

"Eat and get dressed. Then we'll take a ride over to James'."

Remus' eyes went wide with horror. _Not the motorcycle!_ Sirius laughed.

"Oh, yes!"

There wasn't much time between being sick to his stomach and being fussed over by Lily when Remus' black eye had swollen again to think about what he had decided the night before. The pain in his eye was terrible, for Sirius had accidentally elbowed him when Remus nearly fell off the flying motorcycle and into a briar patch. He was sprawled out on the sofa in the sitting room at James' house for the majority of the day, while James, Sirius, and Lily decided to have a chess tournament. Peter had declined to come, saying he had a lot of paperwork to do. As it got closer to their reservation time at the Bubble Room, Remus began to remember just what he had been dreading as he fell asleep the night before.

__

After dinner, he thought to himself._ Let us enjoy one last meal together as we always have_.

Fortunately, the swelling had gone down again by the time Remus and the others arrived at the Bubble Room. It was a five-star restaurant and rated the best in England for fine magical dining. Located just outside of London, the curious little building was disguised as a daycare center. It was not unusual to see a line of couples waiting outside to pick up their children, when in actuality it was the line to check in at the desk.

Sirius indeed had swindled their way to a nice table located at the back of the restaurant. After walking through the downpour of enchanted bubbles (hence the name of the place), they were seated and made their menu selections. Remus was careful to choose the cheapest selection, which still was considerably high. James, however, insisted that they all get lobster with a special sauce called _dracolus_, made from the drippings of a special roast of dragon meat. Much to Remus' reluctance, the order was made.

"Don't get me anything for Christmas, then," Remus said. "This is incredibly generous of you."

"Who else besides us would I spend my money on? Besides, Moony, there's something we have to celebrate tonight," James said, a larger-than-normal grin on his face.

Remus blinked, feeling his stomach turn. Celebrate what?

"If it's because of Moony's first fist-fight, it's not the first time he's been knocked out," Sirius said mischievously.

"Of course not, Sirius, don't be silly," Lily said, her bright green eyes more brilliant than ever. "James and I have to tell you both something."

Remus and Sirius exchanged glances. Sirius' face then drew back slowly in mock realization.

"Oh, no… you… you're getting a _puppy_? I knew it! We're not good enough for you two anymore, are we? Just toss us to the pound!" Sirius draped his arm dramatically over his face, pretending to sob. A few heads turned in their direction and Remus buried his face in his hands in complete embarrassment. 

James reached over and cuffed Sirius' shoulder.

"Oh, shut up! Be serious for once."

"But I-"

"Don't even say it, if you know what's good for you," James warned him before Sirius could retort. Sirius closed his mouth and crossed his arms, waiting. Remus straightened up in his chair as he regarded James and Lily. They _were_ exceptionally more genial than normal, not that they were any less so. But their expressions were both glowing, and Remus couldn't help but let his face return a soft smile.

"Now then, like Lily said, there's something we have to tell you," James continued. He took Lily's hand, and there wasn't a couple Remus would ever see for the rest of his life that looked more perfect together. Lily grinned broadly and looked at him and Sirius.

"James and I are getting married."

Remus' smile grew bigger at the news, but Sirius simply blinked at them.

"I thought you already were," he said.

James made a face at him. "But now we _really_ are, look."

He held up Lily's left hand and Remus could see a glimmer of something encircling one of her fingers. Remus leaned forward and she let him take her hand, so he could get a closer look. It was a pure gold band, with a diamond studded lily flower situated at the top.

"So when's the big day?" Remus found himself saying, smiling at the two of them.

"Well, that's the thing," James said, his smile wavering slightly. "Lily and I feel that we should wait a while, until things settle down."

"Oh, come on!" Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear. "What's with all the waiting? What difference does it make when you do it? Both of you are together, living together, and nothing short of the apocalypse is going to separate you from each other. Waiting just delays the inevitable, so why wait?"

Remus found himself agreeing. After all, from the way things were going, he had an uncanny feeling that things were going to get a lot worse before it got better. Sirius was right, why wait?

__

You never know what will happen tomorrow, anyway. We're better off living each moment we have together, he thought. And, as he watched his best friends carry on their friendly banter, Remus couldn't bring himself to spoil this one happiness in his life. If he just watched himself, he could continue to live his life and do his job in secret. They way they were was always as it had been, this was where he belonged and this was his family. This was one change he could control, and prevent.

"If you two don't get married within a year, I'll become a priest and perform the ceremony myself!" Sirius emphasized.

They settled down when their dinners arrived, and Remus reveled in the exotic taste and continued to rant to James on how expensive it all was. Sirius didn't let eating cease his teasing, and basically outlined their friends' wedding, honeymoon, first house, and children before dessert was served.

"Of course you'll have six or seven," Sirius said, taking a big bite of his cheesecake.

"God help us," Remus laughed. "We'll have a troupe of marauders in training for another mischievous plague at Hogwarts."

"Not to mention Quidditch champions," Lily added, grinning at James.

All too soon, they had finished everything and left the restaurant. Standing outside in the vastly cooling air, Remus simply stood and watched his friends continue to joke around. It was the calm before each passing storm, he figured, and it was worth living if his friends were still around him- still the same as they always had been. James and Lily would get married, Sirius would continue to make them laugh, Peter would still be his eager self, and Remus would stay the way he was. Alone, and not alone. Silent and observant.

He looked over in the shadows, where a few trees could be seen. Remus had felt eyes upon him, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up when he could see a tall silhouette leaning against one of the tree trunks.

Beta stared back at him, and Remus knew that there was no escape. Change was something not even magic could prevent. It was only a matter of time before his world would fall apart before his eyes.

She disappeared before anyone else noticed.

"Coming, Moony?" James called out to him, laughing.

Remus looked at him, forcing his smile to return. Only, James couldn't see his tears.

****

A/N: Finished the chapter? Wow, you know what? How about a review? Those who review are idolized forever and will be considered in dedication when I publish my Nobel Prize winning novel ::big cheesy grin:: And as an added bonus, here's the link to my website- http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html (there's new stuff here.. 3 days and 4 hours each of those days worth of stuff there… subtle hints, just so ya know)


	10. Cross of Changes

****

A/N: A special note of thanks to my betas, and especially Muse who has gladly taken up the role!

Chapter Ten

_Cross of Changes_

The air grew colder; the leaves turned to brilliant shades of orange, brown, and gold, eventually falling to earth to gather in huge mounds. Soon, all the trees were stripped of their foliage, and the first frost came to settle over the land. Winter came.

Nearly three months had passed since Remus had helped the Pack obtain fifty gallons of dragon tears and hand it over to Duryan of D Two. Since that time, he had kept his distance from Alpha. Puck continued to berate him with cold distaste. The others were simply indifferent, and it was Thistle that Remus found himself helping when he was needed at the Den. For the past full moons, he stood apart from the rest, being the rogue that he was.

Beta, however, was hardly seen at all since he had taken a stand for her. Once in a while she would appear in the large room of the Den, her right arm in a sling, saying nothing and doing little. Then Alpha would turn to her, and immediately she retreated back to the other rooms. Remus never ventured to see where she was.

In a way, he was glad that she would not speak with him. Since that night when he saw her outside of the Bubble Room, Beta had not shown herself to him outside of the Den. But there was this strange feeling that kept nagging the back of his mind. He could not identify it, and it sometimes gave him a strong sense of unease when with the Pack.

Remus did, most of the time, feel more relieved. That small flash of doubt he had when he saw Puck's expression when he handed Duryan the dragon tears was vanquished when they heard nothing from D Two. Remus assumed that they had gotten what they had wanted and that was that. Yet, when he pointed this out to Churo one day, Churo's expression darkened slightly.

"Ah, but what Duryan most likely did not know, is that it takes six months to brew the concoction that he desires. He won't find out if it works until it is finished," he said.

Remus looked at him, mildly shocked. 

"I did not know you were familiar with brewing potions."

Churo averted his eyes, his answer muffled slightly as he turned away.

"Aye, I was told."

And so work with the Pack was little, and Remus felt more at ease when back among his true friends. He still resolved again not to tell them his secret role with the Order, and they showed no sign of suspicion.

Dumbledore was pleased with Remus' work, and told him when they were alone just how valuable his information was and continued to be. He said great progress was being made. Even work with the Order was going well, and more and more Death Eaters were being found and prosecuted. James and Lily were especially skilled on this. 

Just before the Christmas holidays, Dumbledore gave them permission to head up traps within known areas of Death Eater activity. This proved very successful, and soon James and Lily were promoted to higher ranks within the Order- next to Fletcher and Figg, who oversaw the rite's operations under the instruction of Dumbledore. Things looked brighter than they had before, and with no more reports of deaths and the continuous arrests, it appeared as if the war would be over soon.

It would be the last peaceful Christmas for them.

"Honestly, Moony, you'd never think it was Christmastime with your décor," Sirius pointed out two days before Christmas Eve. Remus had invited him over for tea after work that day. He was feeling the best he had since he left Hogwarts last summer. Things truly did look bright those days, and his spirits were lifted. Although, he was still distracted in his mind, trying to stay positive with his double role, and it never occurred to him that he should decorate his home for the season.

"Maybe I'll venture out and find a small tree, later," Remus said, stirring a lemon slice in his mug.

"A _small_ tree? Moony, come on! It's not Christmas unless you have the biggest tree and the most lights and the most decorations than anyone around!" Sirius emphasized by hitting his fist on the table with each point.

Remus looked up at him from his mug.

"In case you've failed to notice, I could hardly fit a large tree in my sitting room, and there is scarcely a soul living closer than three miles to here. The squirrels are hardly competition for festivities, if that is what you're thinking."

"But you'd be the envy of all the squirrels," Sirius grinned stupidly at him.

"Oh, that's something to be proud of."

When Christmas Eve arrived, Dumbledore had given the entire Order the holiday off. Remus had been shopping for his friends after work when he could, and used the whole day of Christmas Eve wrapping and baking the only thing he could manage not to burn and keep edible. It was something his mother used to make on holidays when he and his brother were small still.

_"There is a story," _his mother always began to tell when she baked thus_. "About a prince who wanted to taste the most exotic and the most delicious food his money could buy. Every Christmas he held a feast, and he invited every lord, lady, duke, and duchess from every land to join him at his table. To show respect, his guests would instruct their finest baker to make the most unique dessert he could create. So the Prince ate, and ate and ate, until by the time he was a man grown, he believed he had tasted everything the world had to offer. But he was not satisfied. The Prince believed that there was still something more exotic, more delicious than anything any highborn could offer. He ordered his most trusted swordsmen to venture out and return with a dessert that he believed to be the most exotic and delicious, one that was fit to serve God. _

"And so his man went out into the world, and for ten years he searched and tasted foods from every stretch of the Earth. Until, after he had been away from home for eleven years and his belly strained against his belt, he came upon an island in the middle of the ocean. It was the last place on Earth he had not visited, and when he came to stand before the island's king, he struggled to his knee and begged, 'Your majesty, I have come from far away and have traveled many years to taste the most exotic and most delicious food fit to serve God. I beg your mercy to bestow before me your most greatest dish.' 

"The king then stood before him, and looked down upon the man with eyes as farseeing as the horizon. 'I may have what you seek, but not just anyone can partake of such a delicacy. It is only for the man who is satisfied with what he has, and is glad for it.'

"The swordsman insisted that his prince was worthy, and so the king of that island covered the steaming earthen pan that held the prized dish and put a spell over it so that it would keep until it reached the Prince. When the swordsman finally reached his home shores, and with nervous esteem presented it to the royal table, the Prince was overcome with impatience- for he had grown old and irritable with the passage of time. When the pan was uncovered and the Prince laid his eyes upon what he most desired, his face fell."

Remus remembered watching with wide eyes and listening eagerly to his mother, as she finished her baking and moved to show him what was in the pan.

__

"For the most exotic and most delicious food in the world was simply a loaf of raisin bread." And Remus' mother always smiled, a smile that lit her entire face, when she saw her sons' expressions.

Remus pulled out his own loaf of raisin bread from his little oven, and he quickly put it on a trivet to cool. Where his mother learned such a story, he never knew. It was just something she always told every Christmas Eve, when she made the simple dessert. Perhaps it was her way of teaching him and his brother, or perhaps herself and his father, to be happy with what they had. For what they had was enough, and to desire more than what was necessary was foolish.

Those days were gone, he reflected as he cleaned the mess he made and prepared to get dressed for Christmas Eve mass. It struck him that it would be his first Christmas without her, and the pain of her loss surfaced again. Yet he refused to let his feelings dampen what he had. But he always took to heart the lesson his mother meant with the story. Remus was forever grateful for his friends, and he was more than content with what he had. He had no control over his fate, but he never wished for more than what he _was_ blessed with.

Remus wrapped up his loaf of raisin bread with cheesecloth and put it in a bag with the small mound of gifts he had wrapped for his friends. He put a simple spell on the loaf before he put it away, however, to keep it fresh- not unlike the king of the island in his mother's story. Then, dressed in his Sunday best, Remus put on his coat and apparated to James' house.

The quaint and yet regal church that shadowed the streets of Hogsmeade was an old one, resplendent in its gothic architecture. Built with the founding of the small wizarding village, it was testimony to the fact that magical folk were not followers of the devil- but just as faithful as any Christian Muggle. However, magic was not permitted nor tolerated within the sacred walls. It was deemed improper, and there wasn't a single soul who disagreed.

The beautiful stained glass windows glowed with the countless lit candles within the church, lighting the cobbled street below in a cascade of color. Candles also lined the pathways leading into the narthex, as was tradition on Christmas Eve. Evergreens were hung over the arched doorways, wreaths bedecked stone pillars, and towering trees covered in tiny shimmering lights graced every corner.

Remus, James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter (who had arrived almost late) took their seats in pews toward the front of the nave. As the service began, James leaned over and whispered in Remus' ear,

"Lily wants me to tell you that you look handsome."

They stood and opened their hymnals to sing "Angels We Have Heard On High". Remus suppressed a blush and smiled.

"Tell her thank you for me, and that she is very beautiful as well."

After a few moments, toward the end of the hymn, James whispered to him again.

"Sirius says you sing like a girl." He snorted as an afterthought.

Remus narrowed his eyes and leaned forward to glare at Sirius, who was singing loudly and starring innocently straight at the alter.

"Tell him he sounds like a goose, then," he muttered to James.

The hymn ended and the priest began to recite affirmations, although his voice was drowned out by an indignant, "A _goose_?!" from the front pew.

"_Hush_!" Lily hissed to all of them, her expression a mixture of amusement, exasperation, and embarrassment. 

Fortunately, they all behaved themselves for the rest of the service, and as they left the church singing "Silent Night" and holding their candles, they gathered in the courtyard to discuss plans.

"Nonsense! As soon as all of you are up in the morning, you're coming over. It'll be just like it was at Hogwarts that one year when we stayed!" James insisted merrily, dressed handsomely in his black overcoat and crimson scarf. Flurries had started to fall, and the little flakes began to gather on top of everyone.

"Oh, James, you know I would… but Mother insists..." Peter grumbled, his cheeks pink, although whether from the cold or from embarrassment Remus couldn't tell. Peter shifted from foot to foot, heavily bundled in his thick woolen overcoat. The shine on his leather shoes was reflecting the colored light from the church's stained glass. Peter was always insistent on being properly dressed and having his clothes spotless- the suit he was wearing under his coat must have been ironed several times. 

Sirius laughed and shoved him playfully in the shoulder, getting snow smudged on his new coat that he had bought for the holidays. This he did not even frown at; Sirius was lucky that his dark green suit looked more festive than ugly, and that people don't often stare at the floor, where one could see his black boots.

"Father Christmas coming, eh?" he goaded Peter.

"Padfoot, you're impossible," Lily said.

James shrugged and held Lily closer to him, for she had begun to shiver. She drew her black fur lined coat collar against her neck, and brought her feet together. The soft leather of her heeled black shoes did not help against the wet snow.

"Well, come over when you can, at least. We'll have a big feast for dinner. Now let's go home before we freeze to death!"

James had a way with people that made it hard to argue with him, and so Remus and the others obliged. Sirius left on his motorcycle, heedless of the cold and the flurries. James and Lily apparated, as well as Peter, not far from the church. Remus, however, felt a need to be outdoors and it had been a while since he walked around Hogsmeade. He pulled his coat tighter around himself and began to make his way up the sidewalk to nowhere in particular.

He had not been walking long when he heard a voice that was strikingly familiar. A voice that for the past seven years held nothing but scorn and distaste. Remus paused, coming upon an alley to the right. Cautiously, he leaned up against the wall of a vacant store and strained his ears.

"What are you doing here?" There was no denying it. Remus knew that cold, silky voice. Only Severus Snape could speak with such venom in his words, as if he hated everyone and everything in the world that did not succumb to his advantage.

"I was told to keep a watch," said another voice, quieter and somewhat defiant. A brave man to stand up to the likes of Snape.

"On whom? You realize that the town is crawling with aurors and Ministry officials!" Snape hissed.

There was a pause, as if the man to whom Snape was speaking was mildly shocked that his job was assessed correctly.

"That information, sir, is strictly classified. By orders of the Master himself," the man said somewhat hesitantly.

Another pause; Remus could just see Snape's face contort with outrage at such insubordination.

"I'll have your head displayed on my mantel if you do not tell me who you are looking out for. You wouldn't want me to let it slip what I saw you doing with a certain blonde the other night!" 

One of them moved and shuffled their feet. Remus leaned closer to hear. Surely… surely Snape wasn't low enough to become a _Death Eater_? But then weren't most, if not all the Death Eaters arrested so far graduates from the Slytherin house? Now, come to think of it, it wasn't all that surprising to Remus anymore. Snape proved his was evil ever since the end of their first year at Hogwarts.

"Answer me!" Snape demanded.

Remus had leaned over so far he was beginning to loose his balance. He bit his lip to keep from crying out and lashed out his left arm to grab something to steady him. His hand grabbed an old drainage pipe, and as soon as he let his weight pull on it, the rusted pipe broke free. He fell flat on the concrete and the pipe clattered loudly to the ground.

"Disapparate, you fool! Or we'll be spotted!" Snape ordered, and Remus heard two distinct pops as the air rushed into the spaces where the two men had stood.

Remus slammed his fist on the sidewalk, ignoring the scrapes he had gotten from the fall. He had the chance to apprehend Snape and that man, who were more than likely Death Eaters, and he had to go and expose himself. Now they were gone, and all he had to go on was a suspicion that they were, in fact, Death Eaters. Especially Snape. Dumbledore would not be pleased with such news.

Remus' need for fresh air and a walk were replaced with his need to be alone, in his room. He got up and stepped out to look down the alley where the two men had been, and he scowled angrily. There was no evidence that anyone had been there. Snape or the other man must have covered their tracks. Balling up his fists, Remus hesitated no longer to apparate home.

He did not bother to light any candles when he took off his clothes, folded what did not need to be cleaned, and put his warm pajamas on. There was simply the light of the crescent moon that shown through his window. He sat down on his bed, staring ahead blankly at the wall.

__

Why didn't I immediately call for help? Why didn't I just stun them right away? Why didn't… why didn't… his mind kept playing what happened over and over. He should go to Dumbledore right away, he should notify the Ministry- but everyone was away on holiday, keeping the bare minimum on guard for the risk of any attacks. Well, this much he could tell James and the others. They would know what to do; they always worked things out.

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he noticed something he hadn't noticed before. There, on the wall next to his bed was a small indentation. He followed it with his eyes, and noticed that there was an outline of a doorway… as if the wall concealed a hidden entrance. Immediately curious, Remus got up and felt the wall with his hands. Sure enough, he could feel a door concealed in the wall. The man who sold the house to him had not pointed it out, if he even knew it existed.

Picking up his wand from his bedside table, Remus stood back a pace and muttered, "_Alohomora."_

Instantly, the hidden door swung inward, creaking angrily after being shut for so long. He looked into the darkness, lighting his wand. The hidden doorway revealed a small staircase, barely big enough for a single person to climb and very steep. Carefully, he slowly ascended to the top. The light from his wand revealed that the stairs merely led to a small little alcove, where a tiny rosette window attempted to filter in light. 

Remus had never noticed this window from the outside, but it was easy to miss. The window was completely covered in years of dust and hardly distinguishable. It would appear that this alcove and the hidden stairs were merely there to access this window.

__

Unusual, he thought to himself mildly.

Looking around the small space, which was only just large enough to fit maybe two adults, Remus noticed a few old rags that had been left without care. Carefully, he moved into the alcove and picked up a rag, moving over to the rosette and attempted to wipe it clean. He managed to remove a lot of the dust, but not all of it. He would have to come back later with some supplies.

Sighing, Remus sat down cross-legged on the floor. For all its darkness, the alcove had a calming effect on him. He felt as if this one space was completely apart from the world, full of secrets that the walls would never tell. Without knowing why, he felt secure and safe here. Anything could happen, anything could be told, and no one would know or judge you.

After a while, ignoring the bitter cold that chilled the alcove, Remus let go of his mind and opened up his thoughts, spilling it out as if this place would hold it all and keep it safe. No one would be hurt here, he resolved. This was his place now, his harmless secret. 

And he sat there, until the morning's rays began to shine anew through the window, and Christmas blanketed the earth.

"You're so quiet, Moony." James was grinning like an overjoyed little boy.

Remus had went down to his bed after his stay in his newfound solace to catch what sleep he could before going over to James'. Later that morning he gathered himself and his things to go over, and he found himself then sitting amid piles of gifts in James' sitting room.

James was crawling under the enormous tree that he, Remus, Lily, and Sirius had cut down, decorated, and lighted themselves. That was a project Remus cared not to go through again, after all the sap he had to wash out of his hair. James was pulling out gifts addressed to many people, but mainly to his friends and Lily. Sirius was also grinning merrily, playing around with a new prank item that James had given him.

"Look, look, look!" he shouted excitedly. "You only need to _look_ at it and the thing turns into whatever the person feels is the most disgusting! Oh, James, _awesome_!"

Remus rolled his eyes. Lily held up yet another gift to him, brightly wrapped.

"Smile, Remus! It's Christmas! Look, this one's to you!" Her eyes were alight, her hair decorated with mistletoe.

"You're too generous, Lily. Thank you," Remus couldn't help but to smile back. "Here, I have another for you as well."

Lily got up from the floor to sit on the arm of Remus' chair. Both of them unwrapped their gifts, and Remus grinned as he held a fine pair of leather gloves and Lily took out a pair of fleece mittens.

"Great minds think alike, they say," James said, watching the two of them laugh.

"Hey Prongs, where's that one from all of us?" Sirius asked James. James looked pointedly at him with a slight grimace.

"I told you…_later_."

Sirius did not let his tone deter him. He crawled over to James on the floor and started to sift through what gifts that had yet to be opened.

"Aw, what difference does it make if we give it to him now? Who knows when Wormtail is going to make it over? I want to see Moony's face!"

"Oh, you guys, you've given me too much already!" Remus blushed, looking over at the small pile next to him. Other than the leather gloves from Lily, James had given him a leather-bound desk planner, Sirius a special quill that had Remus' name engraved upon it, and Peter had sent over a small package earlier that had contained a journal.

"All that's only _part_ of your Christmas present!" Sirius said over his shoulder, pushing past James. Both of them looked like twin brothers arguing and laughing under the tree.

"We really should wait for Peter," Lily said tentatively.

"Two against one," James said triumphantly to Sirius, who scowled under a pile of discarded wrappings.

Later, after the presents were opened and Sirius insisted they attempt a game of Quidditch outside despite the falling snow, dinner was served. Roast duck was the main course, with countless other trimmings and side dishes that the house-elves prepared with bright, smiling faces and their clean pillowcases adorned with holy berries and evergreen swaths. Peter arrived just as Remus and the others were sitting down, excusing his tardiness that his mother kept him longer than anticipated. Sirius was going to comment, before James kicked him from under the table.

After desert that left Remus feeling as if he gained twenty pounds and would need to be rolled from the table, they settled into the freshly cleaned sitting room to exchange the last of the gifts. Peter was overwhelmed with emotion, squealing with delight as he opened a Rememberall from James, a pair of earmuffs from Lily, a book about Quidditch from Sirius (in which Peter profusely reminded him that he was hopeless at the sport), and a sampler of his favorite candies from Honeydukes from Remus.

"All of you are too much," Peter was smiling from ear to ear. "Thank you."

"_Now_ can we give it to Moony?" Sirius looked at James, who nodded back.

"Give what to Moony?" Remus asked, blushing again. "Honestly…"

"It's the last part of your gift," Lily said, smiling at him. "From all of us."

James put a large box in front of Remus.

"It was Lily's idea," he said, grinning. Lily blushed slightly.

Remus looked at them all with a "you shouldn't have" expression, before lifting the box to his lap and unwrapping it. He gasped slightly as he took out a small case, just big enough to hold business utilities. His name was stamped upon it in one corner; _R. J. Lupin_.

"Oh, you guys, this is wonderful!" Remus ran his hand over his name.

"You can add more letters, too, to add your profession should it change in the future," James said.

"Now you know why we gave you the other stuff," Sirius said, winking.

Lily took the case gently from Remus, and began to show him how it magically expanded to hold anything and everything.

"I think," she said softly, running Remus' new quill over her fingers. "I think I see Remus as a professor. A professor at Hogwarts… there, with his case and his little possessions, his hair gray with age, teaching the students of tomorrow."

"Yeah, teaching them how to sneak out of the castle in no less than five ways undetectable." Sirius grinned.

"Use it in good health," Peter chimed merrily.

"Thank you for everything, everyone." Remus smiled genuinely.

"Thank you," everyone said in union.

It would be later, as Remus arrived home to his cottage and began to put his gifts away, that he remembered all that had happened on Christmas Eve. The joys of the holiday had completely occupied him, and now the memory came back full force, as well as the guilt. How much damage had been done because he did not tell anyone yet? If he had told, it would have spoiled the day for his friends. They were so happy, why, at dinner James and Lily had announced that they went ahead and made a date for their wedding. How could Remus spoil it all? Knowing James, he would have wanted to get back to the Ministry and alert Dumbledore.

"Well then," Remus said to himself as he pulled his pajamas on. "First thing tomorrow I'm going in to tell Dumbledore, and I'll notify James and Sirius afterward."

He crawled into bed, still exhausted from the night before and tired from the events of the day. The covers were warm and inviting, and he moved to blow out his candle, when he heard a faint noise. Remus cocked his head, listening intently. The cottage was quiet, snow fell gently on the windowsill, and the fire in the room next to his was crackling.

"…Rogue!" came the yell.

Remus got out of bed and walked over to his window. Standing out a good twenty feet from the cottage and under the trees was a shadow.

"…Rogue!"

His mouth set, Remus pulled on a robe and threw on his shoes. He ran outside where it was bitterly cold, and he stood shivering on the porch.

"What is it?" he cried, his teeth chattering.

The shadow came within enough light from the cottage for Remus to make out a face. It was Beta, completely covered in snow, and trying desperately not to shiver.

"It's an emergency," she called out. The warding spells around the cottage were keeping her out, for she was not one of the names Remus had allowed to come through the barrier. "You need to come with me."

"Why? What's the emergency?" Remus asked, not thoroughly convinced.

Beta shifted her feet in the snow, looking completely worn out and exasperated.

"There's no time for stupid questions, just move it!"

Remus gritted his teeth, too cold to argue. He ran inside, threw on the clothes he had worn earlier, and trudged out to meet her with complete annoyance on his face. If Beta saw or cared, she didn't say anything. She simply began a quick pace and led him away.

Later, Remus would wonder just how he ended up at the Den that night. He was so cold; his skin had turned a nasty pale and his lips blue. Beta's teeth were chattering loudly, not looking any better. The one thing Remus remembered was the scent. It was not only the usual smell of the Pack, but there was a terribly ominous odor as well.

Remus quickly learned the scent's source, for as Beta led him, still shivering, to the room that held the oddball furniture, there was the Pack. Alpha stood with his arms crossed in a corner. Thistle and Ice were standing around a beaten sofa, where Churo was lying, gasping for breath and flush with fever. Beta had disappeared, and Remus did not see Lori or Puck, but the two figures he saw also standing close to Churo made the hair on his neck stand up.

Two men, dressed in long black hooded robes. Death Eaters.

There was an awkward silence, save for the irregular gasps Churo was making from the sofa. Everyone seemed to be afraid to speak. Thistle busied herself with sponging Churo's forehead with a damp cloth, and Ice was holding a bowl of water for her. Remus merely stared at everyone in the room, feeling his blood boil as he looked at the Death Eaters. The werewolves were on Voldemort's side, and Remus had to keep up the pretense that he was one of them. However, everything felt wrong- he should be arresting all of them, especially the Death Eaters right then and there. They were all his enemies, and yet he did nothing.

"Churo is sick," Thistle said unnecessarily, trying to break the silence.

"I can see that. Why are _they_ here?" Remus looked at the two Death Eaters.

"Surprised, are you?" one of the hooded men suddenly asked. Remus could not help it, he visibly shuddered. It couldn't be! Of all people, it had to be _him_!

The Death Eater lowered his hood, and there, smiling sardonically, was his brother. Remus clenched his fists, his eyes narrowed. Everyone else, that could, seemed to take a step backward as the two brothers eyed each other.

Neo calmly walked up to Remus until they were nearly nose to nose. Remus wanted badly to be sick; his brother's eyes were so cold and malicious. How could his parents possibly have produced such a man?

"What? No joyous words of greeting, little brother?" Neo smirked. "It's been so long since we've had a chat."

"_What are you doing here_?" Remus hissed vehemently.

"Churo is the reason," Alpha said, stepping forward with his arms still crossed. He looked at Neo with an expression no less enthused than Remus'. "Because of _him_ and the others like him, Churo is dying."

"That is a lie and you know it!" growled the other Death Eater. Remus looked at him more carefully, trying to ignore Neo in front of him. This Death Eater's voice was also familiar.

"Oh yeah?" Ice suddenly shouted. "Then you explain why a simple meeting with _your_ lord turned into nothing but a pleasure show so you could watch an innocent man be tortured to death!"

Remus looked at them with horror. _Torture_? Weren't they all working for the same so-called cause?

"Lord Voldemort does not tolerate being challenged. You challenged his decision! It is your own fault that this happened." And that Death Eater lowered his hood, and Remus had his third shock for the evening. Severus Snape was glaring his characteristic slimy glare at Alpha.

"He was bringing a proposition to you," Alpha said, dangerously calm. "He was representing the Network as a whole. We are true to our word, the werewolves continue to work for your favor, however your courtesy toward our kind has been somewhat feigned."

"My lord was extremely generous in extending apologies to you and your people," Snape said, keeping his eyes fixed on Alpha. "However, your _proposition_ was too much to ask. You do not ask him for more than what he willingly offers."

"And so you hit him with your fancy magic until he cannot possibly recover?" Thistle practically shrieked, her hand shaking as she wiped the damp cloth over Churo's red cheeks.

"He _would_ recover, if my great, grand brother here will stop gaping like a fish and see what he can do with his educated mind." Neo looked at Remus with mocking.

"I am not a doctor!" Remus blurted out, now looking to everyone else in the room. They all looked back with expectant expressions. "Is this why you brought me here? You think I can heal him?"

"Certainly your prestigious magic school taught you a spell or two for the common cold?" Neo asked casually, crossing his arms.

"Why are you doing this, Neo?" Remus whispered. He was fed up with this; he didn't care about anyone else in the room. "What did Mother and Father do to you that was so terrible that you had to go against us, go against everything you were taught? Why did you kill her?"

"Are you really so dim that you have to ask?" Neo's expression was no longer sardonic. "Why don't you go ask Father? I'm sure he could explain, when he's sober."

Remus instantly grabbed his wand, aiming it at Neo. Before Remus could even blink, another wand was aimed at _him_, held by Snape. They glared at each other violently.

"ENOUGH!" shouted a voice from behind Remus. Beta came up from behind and grabbed Remus' wrist, looking him dead in the eyes. "This is not the place. You _don't_ have time for this. Churo needs your help. I _know_ you can do it."

Remus stared at her, then back up at Snape, then to his brother, who looked back at him with an expression so infuriating that it took every fiber of Remus' being not to fire one of the Unforgivables. With Beta's firm grip on his wrist, he slowly lowered his wand. Snape reluctantly did the same, and Neo barked out a laugh.

"Figures," he said simply.

Remus ignored him and turned his angry glare on Beta.

"I _told_ you, I am not a doctor. What do you think I could possibly do?

Beta glared back and suddenly shoved an enormous volume of text into his hands. Remus blinked and looked at the cover of the worn leather textbook. In fading letters, BASIC CONCOTIONS FOR CURES was written across the top.

Remus looked at Beta, who shrugged back at him.

"You're the wizard. Concoct." 

It was hard to remember afterward just how long Remus was there in that room, pouring over the old potions textbook, instructing Thistle and Ice what to do, checking Churo's pulse, and basically feeling he had no idea what he was doing. What he _did_ remember, though, was that Beta was at his side the entire time. Silent and watchful, sometimes doing as he asked if he needed something.

Finally, when Remus felt he had barely enough strength left to breathe himself, Churo no longer gasped for air and his color softened. The old man fell into a comfortable, healing sleep. When Remus shakily looked around the room, the whole Pack was there, his brother, and Snape.

"_You're_ still here?" Remus queried with a glare at his brother.

"Of course. You know I love to watch you _suffer_," Neo taunted. 

"Shut up," Snape snapped suddenly. "I've had enough of your useless banter. The man will live. The Master wished to know, so our duty here is finished."

Neo looked at Snape with cold contempt, but raised his hood anyway. They both moved to leave, Remus noting that Snape would not apparate without Neo. Alpha took a step forward, blocking the door.

"You haven't heard the last from us," he said darkly. "The Network will be alerted. You tell your master to be careful with his allies he does not wish to make more enemies."

Snape, surprisingly, said nothing and pushed his way past the large man that was Alpha. Neo paused a moment, glancing back at Remus.

"Until next time, little brother." He whispered with a menacing smile as he left the room. Everyone remained silent until they could no longer hear footsteps up the hidden stairway outside.

Remus had passed out then, after so little sleep and exhausting himself. When he woke up, he couldn't tell if it was night or day, since the Den was underground. Remus opened his eyes and found himself to be stretched out on another of the decrepit, ugly sofas in the same sitting room. Churo was gone, as Remus looked to where the other one was. A blanket was thrown over him and a pillow was nestled under his neck.

Remus sat up to get a better look around him, and nearly started when he looked straight at Beta, who sat in stained recliner next to him. She was awake, flipping through the potions textbook that she had given Remus to help Churo.

He considered his words a moment, before finally making himself known.

"That's quite an old magical textbook."

Beta showed no sign of surprise that he was awake, not even looking at him.

"It was my mother's," she whispered.

Remus raised his brows. "Really?"

Beta nodded. "She was a witch."

Swinging his feet down to the floor, Remus winced as he felt all his muscles become tight after sleeping so awkwardly. He tried to stretch a little, genuinely surprised to hear what Beta was telling him.

"What happened to her?"

Beta shifted a little, and Remus bit his lip, thinking he struck a nerve. After a few moments, she answered him.

"She died. My father survived only a little longer to bring me here."

Remus cocked his head, confused.

"Bring you here? Here, as in the Pack?"

Beta sighed and closed the textbook, running her hand over the worn cover. She shook her head and looked at him.

"No, here to Britain. I was born in America. My parents moved there from England when they were exiled from pack C Three. They were both werewolves, obviously, and because our kind is widespread in the States they thought things would be better there anyway. They were wrong. When I was still little, Mother caught a very strange disease, which even the local werewolves were baffled with. Father soon contracted it, and to save me, he brought me back here and handed me over to Churo. Then he disappeared. He probably died too."

Remus was unsure of what to say. It was very unlike Beta to be so open. He had a strange feeling that her background was something very few were aware of and a secret no one dared to mention.

"All he left me was what few things I had, the clothes on my back, and this book." Beta looked at him. "He was the most powerful man I knew. My father could do _anything_. He promised me he would stay by my side forever. But he didn't. Instead he left me here, and I know why."

Remus carefully looked into her eyes. He had a feeling he knew the answer to what he was about to ask.

"If your mother was a witch, then…"

"My father was a wizard. He left me because my raw magic drew the Ministry to him."

Remus wasn't sure what to say at that point. Beta's face was void of emotion, but her eyes, which he could see through her long bangs, held a hurt that scarred her very soul.

After a moment, she looked away and back down at her book. Remus cleared his throat.

"How did you learn to keep your magic under control if you never had magical education?" he asked.

Beta shrugged and tossed the book unceremoniously on the broken coffee table in front of them.

"Taught myself," she said.

At that moment, Alpha walked in. He looked at Remus with an indifferent expression, but it hardened as he glanced at Beta.

"If Rogue is no longer knocking on death's door, I would rather you help me with something, Beta."

Remus could see Beta stiffen out of the corner of his eye. She answered Alpha, her voice flat. "It can wait."

Alpha appeared to make a very hard effort to keep his voice level.

"No. You're needed in my quarters. Now."

Slowly, Remus began to think he understood. It was most likely not business that Alpha always discussed with Beta, always insisted they be alone together. Alpha took his role in the pack seriously… a little _too_ seriously. Beta was not just his second-in-command. Remus began to sense a faint touch of fear begin to vibe from her, something that was so infinitely minute before. He looked at her, took in her tired features, felt the anger as well as the fear. Alpha was taking full advantage of his title, by taking full advantage of her.

Remus unsteadily got to his feet. He grabbed his coat and put it on, walking over to Beta while looking at Alpha. Gently, he put a hand on her shoulder. She went rigid, but did not flinch away.

"Churo will be fine. If you should need my help again before we meet, _don't hesitate to drop by_." He looked at her as he emphasized his last words. Beta quickly looked at him, and for half a second he could see desperation in her eyes, before she looked away with a dismissive nod.

Remus took up his scarf that he kept in one of his pockets and put it on as he approached Alpha. Remus paused, and regarded Alpha without looking at him. There was a faint memory at the back of his mind that the time would come when he would need to challenge this man. To take his stand in the pack and become alpha male. Now this was more important, for a life was at stake. Beta's.

"Take care of Beta," he said casually. "She needs her rest as well. We had a long night."

Alpha leaned in close, partially blocking Remus' way. His voice was very low, and for the first time there was a threat in his tone.

"My first woman is strong. You need not worry about _her_, Rogue. Just worry about your _place_ and keep an eye on your tail. Churo was just lucky."

Remus looked up at him and frowned. He buttoned his coat and, with a short glance back at Beta, left the Den.

It was all he could do to keep from going insane. Remus _had_ to get to Dumbledore and tell him about Snape as soon as he was able. There were owls waiting for Remus at his cottage, one each from his friends, but there was no time. Remus changed his clothes and apparated immediately to Hogsmeade, where he ran flat-out toward the Hogwarts grounds and up to the castle. McGonagall was very confused when she answered to his pounding at the front doors, but let him through after he insisted that it was urgent. In no time at all, Remus found the stone gargoyle and nearly shouted the password, taking the spiraling staircase two steps at a time, and stumbling into Dumbledore's office without knocking. When he saw who was standing in front of the huge oak desk in the room, Remus nearly passed out.

Severus Snape did not look any better. Dumbledore, from behind his desk, merely looked highly amused.

"Remus, how charming to see you. Curious, however, that you could get through the ward on my door in your obvious hurry to enter."

"Professor!" Remus gasped, rushing over and pointing at Snape. "There is something you need to know."

"I would step back if I were you, you disgusting beast!" Snape nearly snarled, stepping forward.

Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at him, shielding Dumbledore. There was no telling why Snape was there, but it was clear that his intentions were not good. Why else but to kill Dumbledore? The head of the Light's only resistance against Voldemort!

"This man is dangerous, Professor!" Remus shouted over his shoulder. "He is a traitor! One of Voldemort's henchmen! A Death Eater!"

Snape looked as if he was slapped. He pointed his own wand at Remus, his face contorted in fury.

"That is a _lie_! It is _you_ who is the traitor, you bloodthirsty scum! Professor, you know this man is a _werewolf_! Like the monster he is, he has been a traitor this whole time! He works for the other demons just like him, helping the Dark Lord!"

Dumbledore immediately stood up, and shouted "_Expelliarmus_!" Both Remus' and Snape's wands were instantly blown from their hands and fell in opposite directions of the room.

"Gentlemen, if you would kindly take a seat, I will explain." Dumbledore waved his wand and both men nearly fell into the two chairs that appeared behind them. Remus and Snape glared at each other, the blood pumping throughout Remus' body in a furious rush.

"Now, if all thoughts of murder has left your systems, I will not hesitate to make it clear that neither of you are a traitor. Both of you are working for me."

"_What?_" Both Remus and Snape blurted in union, before looking back at each other in pure disbelief. "_But_…"

"Mr. Snape is my sound contact in Voldemort's inner circle, and Mr. Lupin is my trustworthy key into the workings of the Werewolf Network. And, might I add, that both of your jobs are highly classified and your knowledge of each other's true roles remains only known to you and none other that needs to know outside this room."

Remus' jaw dropped, Snape looking more pale and slimy than usual. Dumbledore looked at them both, trying hard not to laugh at their reaction. His eyes were alight, however, and his grin could not have been any wider.

"Honestly, it's not that surprising, is it?" he asked them genially. "I had meant to tell you both, at some point. I am, however, truly glad that you found out this way and not at one or the other's funeral."

Remus still couldn't understand. Snape wasn't one of the Order of the Phoenix, though! How did he come by the job if not for the Order or the Ministry?

"But, Professor…" Remus hesitated, glancing heatedly at Snape who glared back. "He's… he's not one of the Order, is he?"

Dumbledore looked at Snape carefully a moment before answering.

"No. Severus is working for me under different circumstances."

"Which is none of your concern, _wolf_," Snape snapped bitterly.

"Come now, Severus," Dumbledore said more sternly, his eyes sharp. "You are both on the same team working for the same cause. I will not tolerate childhood grudges."

Remus clutched at the end of his scarf, which he had not removed nor his coat when he had arrived. There really wasn't much more to say, as shocked as he still was, and he got to his feet.

"Well then, when should I send in my next report?" he asked Dumbledore.

"Later, after New Year's. Relax, Remus, you're still on holiday." And with that, both men were dismissed.

Remus and Snape paused as they reached the corridor, the stone gargoyle sliding back into place, not quite looking at the other.

"I've got my eye on you, _wolf_, mark my words," Snape hissed.

Remus straightened his coat and re-tied his scarf, his expression dark.

"On the contrary, I've got my eye on _you_."

****

A/N: It's that time again! Time to click on that handy button below and review, because you know I love all of you too much not to know what's going on in that lovely noodle of yours pertaining to how this fic is going. Do leave a note, wonderful persons! Also, the little story that Lupin remembers his mother telling was completely made up by me and I own all rights. Should for some reason you'd like to use it, _please_ let me know. Chapter 11 coming up soon- things should pick up and I hope to finish this before June!


	11. Eyes of Truth

****

Chapter Eleven

_Eyes of Truth_

It was very cold where he stood, there amongst the snow. Churo was completely silent at his side. The old man was remarkably keen for his age, and his eyes were still sharp as they pierced through the rapidly diminishing light toward their quarry.

Remus suppressed an urge to sigh. They had been tracking Duryan and pack D Two for nearly the entire day and all Remus believed they had accomplished was learn where the group of people wandered all day long like actual wild wolves. Churo, seemingly more thoughtful after his ordeal with Voldemort and his henchmen, had become increasingly more nervous about D Two while he was recovering. That was two weeks ago, and now that Remus had become convinced that the old leader could run around in the snow, Churo insisted that he accompany him on some strange outing.

"I told you it takes six months to brew that potion Duryan wants so badly," Churo had muttered as he and Remus alone left the Den while Alpha scowled at their backsides. "They have something to do with the Dark Lord, that's for sure. This is not just another one of Duryan's childish activities."

"So what exactly is it that you want me for?" Remus had asked, nervous that he had excused himself from working on a project with Sirius so that he could accompany Churo.

Churo had looked over his shoulder to see if Alpha was out of sight, before he looked straight ahead at their path without a glance at him.

"I take all my charges out alone when I feel they are ready."

Remus had thought about this cryptic answer all day, because he quickly became bored as the old man hopped around from tree to tree once Duryan and his people were spotted, acting like some sort of secret agent.

When dusk arrived, there they were. Churo was breathing slowly beside Remus while he stared idly at the group of people beyond them. They were just outside an old house, some of the pack members wandering about outside. It was very dull just standing there, and Churo had hardly said a word all day.

A thought popped into Remus' head. For those entire two weeks, as he juggled working with the Pack and with the Order, again Beta was absent. He had become increasingly worried about her, regretting that he had not acted immediately to help her that night Churo was assaulted and Remus realized what Alpha was doing to her.

"Churo, where is Beta?" he whispered.

Churo turned sharply to him, his expression cross.

"Hush! You want to be heard?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I hardly believe this is all necessary. Why do you have me here, staring at these people? You said six months, it's only been three."

Churo looked back at the people and the house, watching the trickle of smoke from the chimney rise. His shoulders sagged slightly and he nodded.

"I just thought… Well, fine then. Let's go."

The old man turned and began to hobble back over their tracks in the snow. Remus hesitated a moment, looking at the house, before following.

"There is more to you than meets the eye, Rogue. I see that now," Churo said suddenly, not looking at him.

"How do you mean?" Remus asked, taken slightly aback. Sweat suddenly began to wet the back of his neck.

"Alpha is a very strong man, Rogue. It will take much to overcome him." Churo pressed on, grunting slightly as he pushed past a fallen tree trunk in the snow.

"What are you talking about?" Remus was completely at a loss.

"Don't play dumb with me," Churo huffed, glaring back at him. "I know what goes on in a rogue's mind. It's only natural."

Slowly, realization hit Remus. He stopped, ankle deep in the fresh snow, staring straight ahead of him. A whisper from somewhere deep in his memory seemed to be agreeing. The aim of the rogue was to become alpha male, leader of the pack, and have the right to mate. Alpha was the challenge, and since the first day Remus met him he had been unknowingly waiting for his chance to make his move. It became more apparent after he had found out about Beta and Alpha.

Churo had stopped as well and turned to Remus, panting.

"That's right. Now, what are you going to do about it?"

Remus shook his head, clearing his mind as if he had come out of a dream.

"What do you think I should do?" he asked.

"You're a rogue, aren't you?" Churo frowned. "Do you really need to ask?"

Remus began to grow impatient. He was tired of being compared to a wild animal with nothing but brutal instinct focused on survival and reproduction.

"What does it matter to you? Alpha is like your son; you've raised him since he was a boy. He's the rightful leader of this group and he's obviously succeeded you. Why are you so interested in a rogue that still hasn't been completely accepted into your company?"

Churo's expression did not change. He continued to frown at Remus, almost looking disappointed. The way he was panting heavily began to make Remus a little concerned, knowing that he was somewhat responsible for tending to his health.

"You… you've saved my life," he said suddenly, his voice quiet. "In my opinion, you're as much a part of the Pack as any other of my members. We look out for each other, care for each other, and protect one another… just as the wild wolf. These are the few traits we get from our curse that makes us better than the average human being. I tried to teach Epson that as an alpha he must put the Pack before himself, and all the other traits that make a good leader of any group of people. But he has grown into a tyrant, ignoring the dangers that threaten our territory, and he won't listen to all that I have heard inside Voldemort's circle."

Remus looked at Churo carefully as the old man made his way to another fallen log and sat down.

"And then there is Beta," Churo continued. "She above everyone else believes in you. The girl has never been much of a talker, always withdrawn, always quiet. But if your name should come into a conversation, she always vouches for you. I love her like my own daughter; the one I never had. It hurts me to see how Epson treats her. Perhaps it is because of my fear for her that I want you to succeed."

The blood suddenly rushed to Remus' cheeks. Churo looked up at him with a determined expression. He had a feeling that the old man had meant what he said when they had left earlier that day. That he always took his charges out alone when they were ready. Churo had taken Remus out because he _wants_ him to become the new alpha of the Pack. The notion sent Remus' mind reeling. 

"Why… why me?" he asked meekly.

Churo looked away and did not say anything for a while.

"Because you are more powerful than Alpha is. And because Beta believes in you," he said.

Remus began to feel overwhelmed. This was all too much! How was he going to handle this? Churo was looking at him with an almost expectant, dependant expression. Remus felt like running away, deep into the woods, alone with his thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to hide up in his secret room and lock himself inside, where he could release all his uncertainty and fear and no one would judge him for feeling what he felt.

"You're still young yet," Churo said resolutely. "Challenging the alpha of a werewolf pack is no simple matter. I've been watching you. You've been unconsciously sizing Alpha up, watching his every move, listening intently to what he says. Only one who wishes to challenge another will do this. As your elder, heed my words. Continue this, watch for his weaknesses. I'm not sure just yet, but I have a feeling things are going to get very bad before this year is out. Alpha is not prudent with taking matters seriously. I have a hunch, and I think we'll be hearing from D Two come spring.

"I'll be giving Beta more assignments, and coaching Alpha with more tasks. Hopefully that'll keep them apart. But should you see them conflicting again, don't step in right away. That will endanger everything and everyone. You'll have your chance."

It took everything Remus had to keep from trembling. So much responsibility, so many lies. If things were going to get _this_ involved soon, his friends were bound to find out. Then his betrayal would be exposed, and if the Pack found out he was spying on them, relaying every word and move to Dumbledore, not only himself, but his friends would be in danger.

Churo's expression hardened; Remus tried to keep calm, but his skin had paled nearly as white as the snow.

"What?" Churo asked. "Afraid?"

_Yes, I'm afraid_, Remus thought, but he shook his head furiously. Churo took a deep breath and got up from the log, coming to stand in front of him. His old, wrinkled hands came upon Remus' shoulders, and for the first time since he met him Remus saw compassion on Churo's face.

"Don't worry. You're a very resourceful and intelligent person. Brawn is not everything, but Alpha doesn't think so. Listen to your heart…and that voice that growls at the back of your mind."

Remus blinked, looking at Churo as he cracked a rare, genuine smile and stepped away. Without another word, they headed back to the Den, where Alpha still waited.

"What's on your mind, Remus? You're more reserved than normal, and that's saying something."

Remus was sitting in Dumbledore's office a week later, giving his report on the activities of the Werewolf Network. The winter had had the Pack taking care of matters at the Den, receiving instructions and news via the transistor radio. Yet, the harsh January weather had prevented anything beyond the warm underground hideout to take place, even Churo stopped braving the snow to spy on the whereabouts of D Two. Beta continued to be elusive, Puck became increasingly skittish (Remus suspected a classic case of cabin fever), and the others did anything to keep themselves busy.

"Nothing," Remus muttered emotionlessly. But he _was_ greatly bothered. Sirius was constantly on to him about how Remus appeared to be making excuses not to go out and socialize. James and Lily were either busy making wedding preparations for the spring, or working on a new project that would help in the effort against Voldemort. Peter had thrown himself into his work, hardly making himself seen at all. He complained that without a partner, stuff did not get done as fast. A strange expression would pass over his face when he remembered Emily, and Remus always frowned with sympathy.

With all his friends busy, it was not surprising that Sirius was at his wit's end. Remus became increasingly nervous that he would find out his secret.

Dumbledore smiled knowingly and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands over his lap and staring up at the numerous portraits of snoozing headmasters on the walls.

"These walls may have ears, and mouths for that matter, but rest assured that they know countless secrets. I've never had to worry that anything said or done here will ever leave without my consent. Know this, Remus."

Remus sighed and sagged back into his own chair, running a hand through his hair. He stared at the floor a moment before he found his voice.

"Professor? What am I doing?" he asked quietly.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dumbledore countered gently.

Remus said nothing for a moment, before he let his eyes travel to look into the calming blue of Dumbledore's.

"I'm not so sure, anymore."

The headmaster stared back at him, his gaze seemingly boring into Remus' mind.

"You haven't even been gone from this castle as a student for a year, yet you've done more in this short span of time than others in your year will do in a lifetime. You're making a difference."

"What could I possibly change?" Remus asked.

"Life is a cross of changes, intercepting and branching away countless times, an infinite chain of events that effect everything that has, is, and will ever exist. Everything we do effects everything, every_one_. Look around yourself, Remus. Don't you think that what you're doing has already changed things?"

"You're evading my question," Remus muttered under his breath.

"You're evading the answer," Dumbledore said pointedly. Remus blanched.

Dumbledore simply took up a piece of parchment, clearly unfazed by Remus' remark. He read over it a minute before looking back at Remus, who had sat up and was trying hard to return his cheeks to a normal color.

"The full moon is in two days," Dumbledore said casually. "The others will be busy on this project that James and Lily have organized. However, Mr. Black will be very adamant to excuse himself for your benefit. I won't face him for fear of exposing your position, if you still wish to keep it to yourself. You'll have to deal with him, Remus, I'm sorry."

Remus sighed and nodded. Dumbledore had been keen to have his friends distracted during the full moon, much to their fury and concern, for the past few months. Remus had run with the Pack each time, and his cover would be blown if Sirius or any of the others came with him.

"Is there anything else you wish to tell me?" Dumbledore asked with finality.

"For now, no." Remus stood up, nodding curtly. 

"Until later, Remus," Dumbledore said softly.

All Remus managed was to nod again, forcing a confident smile, and he left the office. It didn't surprise him all to much to see Sirius waiting for him just outside, standing with his arms crossed next to the stone gargoyle.

"You're awfully special, making all these private meetings with Dumbledore," he said.

Remus succeeded to keep his smile, slapping Sirius on the shoulder playfully.

"Of course I'm special," he laughed, but he wasn't laughing on the inside.

They walked outside to the Hogwarts grounds, making comments every now and then about how the castle would never change. Memories began to rise to the surface of their minds, and they both exchanged excited laughter and solemn reverence to the place of their youth.

"I miss our monthly walks," Sirius said offhandedly, averting his eyes. Remus grimaced, not wanting to discuss this so soon.

"Yeah, so do I," he said, truthfully.

"Naturally, the others are too busy. For once, Dumbledore and the old veterans haven't assigned me anything. Yet. Don't worry, I'm not going to let you go off alone again this time," Sirius said.

Remus couldn't bring himself to look at Sirius, walking a little ahead toward the castle gates where they could disapparate back to the Ministry.

Sirius mistook Remus' silence and quick pace. "I'm sorry, Remus."

"What for?" Remus slowed a little, his heart racing despite doing so.

"For not being there for you," Sirius said, running ahead to stop and stand in front of him. "We promised we would, and we haven't."

Remus looked at him now, trying hard not to let his emotions show.

"Sirius, we all work. We have perhaps the most important jobs in the country, fighting a war! I'm alright by myself, really I am. You won't always be around to help, nor will James, Lily, or Peter. As much as we hate to say it, we're adults now. If I'm going to make it on my own, I have to do things on my own, and that means my curse as well. I've managed fine to stay away from villages and towns, sticking to the forest. There haven't been any more mysterious murders, nor have there been any more sightings of that other werewolf. Honestly, Sirius, there is no need to worry."

Sirius, characteristically, did not look convinced. His eyes narrowed, furrowing his broad face as he looked at him.

"A promise is a promise, Moony. You know you'd do the same for me, or the others."

Remus lowered his gaze, nodding slightly. The wind picked up, ruffling up his hair, making him shudder slightly against the cold as they continued to stand there in the snow.

"Yes," he whispered. "I would."

Sirius nodded, seemingly satisfied and looking convinced that the matter was dropped and there'd be no more argument.

"Well, then. Humor me, don't contradict me or the others on this matter again, understand?" He pointed a thick, gloved finger at Remus.

Sweat broke out on Remus' brow, and he nervously tossed back his scarf.

"It's my nature to contradict you, Padfoot." He attempted a light-hearted grin.

Sirius made a noise of protest but said nothing further, turning to go out the gates. Remus frowned, allowing a shudder to move through him, although it wasn't from the cold.

"I'll see you back at the Ministry, then?" Sirius asked, once clear of the gates and able to disapparate.

"Right," Remus muttered.

Sirius paused a moment, looking at him closely, before he shrugged and sighed, disapparating with a loud POP. Remus was about to follow when another POP a few feet away caught his attention. Drawing a black trench coat closer around his body, Severus Snape stiffly walked up to the gates. Remus stood there, staring at him, until Snape realized he was there and scowled back at him.

"Lupin," he acknowledged icily.

"Snape," Remus countered.

Without another word, Snape made his way over the tracks in the snow Remus and Sirius had made from the castle. Flurries began to fall then, gathering quickly on Remus' bangs. He watched Snape for a moment, then disapparated before he could hesitate any longer.

It was less difficult than Remus expected to get the evening alone to himself that night. Sirius tried his best to cheer him for the rest of the day as they worked on reports that needed to be processed, locked up in their tiny office. He gave up, however, when Remus insisted they needed to focus on their work rather than ogling every woman that walked past the open door.

"How can you expect to ever get a date, Moony? If there was ever a man that needed a girlfriend, it's you," Sirius muttered over his shoulder.

"A girl would never date a guy with excessive body hair," Remus muttered exasperatedly.

"It's only once a month," Sirius said innocently.

When Clara Winner came by their office with more files, however, Sirius lost himself. Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius quickly leapt to his feet to take the pile Clara had in her arms.

"You're carrying these all by yourself with no help?" Sirius asked her with excessive concern. The poor girl, Remus noted, was completely oblivious to his flirting. He liked Clara as a good friend; he had a hard time picturing Sirius and her together.

"Aaron should have more sense to help you," Sirius blabbered on.

"Really, Sirius, it's nothing. Thank you for the concern, though." She smiled sweetly. Sirius completely glazed over; Remus rolled his eyes.

"Er… er… what are you doing tonight, Clara? There's a small local band playing at The Three Broomsticks tonight. Would you like to join me there?" Sirius' eyes were wide and pleading.

"That sounds fun," Clara said. Remus raised his brows.

"Fantastic! I'll pick you up at seven, then?" Sirius said enthusiastically. 

"Alright, I'll see you then. Goodbye, goodbye Remus!"

Remus waved as she practically bounced out of the office. Sirius was beside himself with glee, hardly able to sit still as he sat back down to sort out what Clara had handed over. Remus couldn't help but grin a little; happy for the small, shy girl that never really attracted an eye. She was certainly not someone he expected Sirius to be tickled pink over, especially after seeing some of the women he was drooling over that had walked past earlier. Apparently, the date that Sirius had had with her the day Emily was murdered went well enough that she could stand him.

"Don't forget," Sirius said suddenly as Remus turned to go back to work. "Tomorrow night _we_ have a date."

Remus' grin disappeared.

Churo was not happy at all with the news Remus told him about not being with the Pack for that full moon. The others accepted it, however, as just something not to be surprised about with a rogue. Puck smirked, looking between Remus and Alpha as if trying to prove a point. Alpha simply shrugged, telling him to stay out of trouble. What bothered Remus most, however, was that Beta was no where to be seen.

"She's been gone all day," Churo said, still upset. He looked at Remus squarely, disappointment written clearly across his face.

"Honestly, Churo, I can't help it. My job as a wizard requires me not to miss tomorrow night," Remus tried to explain without telling the truth. To his surprise, it hurt just as badly to lie to the Pack as it did lying to his friends.

"And what does the Ministry have to do with a werewolf? I was unaware they accepted our kind as allies, these days."

That caught Remus off guard. He couldn't answer that.

"I can't help it, I'm sorry." It was all he could manage.

"Aye, I'm sorry too," Churo muttered, and he walked away.

There was nothing left for him to do at the Den, so Remus put his cloak back on as he prepared to leave. A shadow caught his eye and he could see Alpha watching him from a table, leaning back in his folding chair and tipping it on it's back legs.

"The old man's not happy with you, Rogue," Alpha said loudly. Thistle and Ice, who were sitting across the room looking over some paperwork, turned their heads to listen.

Remus glanced at them before looking back at Alpha and shrugged.

"I can't help that. I'm sorry, truly I am."

"Funny, though," Alpha said, getting up to face him. "He's always unhappy with us, but he's never _sorry_."

Remus didn't know what to say, feeling sweat beginning to break out on his forehead. He cursed himself for being so easily intimidated, averting his eyes. Where his eyes fell, however, caught his interest immediately. Alpha's right arm was all black and blue.

"What happened to your arm?" he asked bluntly.

Alpha quickly glanced at his arm, his eyes looking uncertain for a moment. Then his steely gaze returned, shrugging indifferently.

"Something that won't happen again," he said coolly.

Remus looked up at his face then, and the message he could read from Alpha's eyes clearly put a stop to any further questions. Nodding slowly, shrugging to show indifference, Remus put on his scarf and turned to go up the stairs.

"Should you see Beta," Alpha called to him. "Tell her it'd be wise to return home."

Remus paused a moment, not looking back. When he moved again, feeling Alpha's bearing gaze subside, a thought occurred to him.

_If I do see her_, he thought. _I'd tell her it'd be wise not to_.

Leaving the run-down shack that hid the entrance to the Den, Remus stood in the snow and looked around him. Not a soul could be seen, only the silent white of winter as it blanketed the earth. He let out a long sigh, watching the vapor of his breath linger for moments in front of his eyes. Then he disapparated, the loud POP reverberating for a moment in the empty air.

In the four months since he had moved in, Remus had never felt lonely in his cottage. He preferred to be alone with his thoughts those days, feeling himself reluctantly pulling away from his friends. It was for the best, he told himself bitterly. Looking at a calendar he had hanging in his tiny kitchen, however, made a tiny sliver of excitement run through his veins. It had been months since he and his friends had transformed together and went on an adventure. While the last moon they did so did not turn out so well, the memories of their days at Hogwarts was still fresh in Remus' mind.

The excitement did not last long, as he continued to look at the calendar and stare at the Thursday he had circled. He reminded himself of what he had told Sirius and the others before, what James had said. They lived in the real world now, and their days at Hogwarts were over. Things would never be the same again.

Remus poured himself some tea, adding a teaspoon of sugar and dropping in a lemon slice. He was about to put the kettle in the sink when he heard a knock at his door.

Lily was waving through the front window, and, smiling, Remus hurried to let her in out of the cold.

"Oh, thank you! It's so cold outside I felt like I was turning into an ice cube." She smiled, her cheeks rosy with chill, as Remus took her coat and scarf from her.

"What brings you out to the middle of my nowhere, Lily?" Remus asked, grinning. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"James meant to come himself, but I'm afraid he's come down with a head cold. The idiot stood outside in the snow too long last night, fixing some of the warding spells that have weakened due to the weather." Lily shook off the flurries of snow stuck to her long red hair, following Remus to the kitchen as he drew out a clean mug for her.

"Is he alright?" Remus asked, concerned. He refilled the kettle and set it to boil. Lily sat down at the table, warming her hands on Remus' mug.

"Oh, yeah, the big baby. 'Lil-lee, my head hurts! Lil-lee, sing me a song. Lil-lee, I'm bored!' Honestly!"

Remus laughed, sitting down. "Sure it's wise to leave him alone?"

"It's the house-elves' turn to sing to him, now. Besides, like I said, he meant to come, but he sent me instead." She held up her hand for him to stay put when the kettle began to whistle, getting up to pour her tea.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong. He wants to ask you something, that's all," she said. She put some honey and sugar in her tea, and settled herself back down in the chair across from Remus.

"Oh?" His heart began to beat faster. Ask him what?

"I'm not sure why he won't wait until he's better, it's really not that urgent, but he insisted. James would like you to be one of his groomsmen."

Relief washed over Remus like a tidal wave. He sat back in his chair, chuckling beside himself.

"Need he ask? Of course, it would be an honor."

Lily's smile seemed to warm the cottage further. "I don't even see why he'd worry."

Remus looked at her, cocking his head slightly. "Worry? Worry that I would say no?"

Her eyes widened slightly, as if realizing she said something she shouldn't have. Quickly she shook her head, her smile unwavering. 

"You know him. He's more excited than a child at the Quidditch Cup. He wants everything to be perfect, and I'm no exception. It's just formalities, you know. James is very traditional."

"But you _are _worried," Remus said softly, looking down at his mug. "I haven't been very social lately."

"Oh, come off it," Lily said sharply. "We're all working our tails off, it's a miracle we have enough time to breathe, let alone go out for a drink. James and I understand, Sirius told us about Dumbledore singling you out."

"He did?" Remus tried not to look frightened. How much did his friends suspect?

Lily nodded. "We realize you can't tell us about what you're doing, not in detail, anyway. Really, it's us that we're upset about. James and the others haven't had the time to be with you when you need them most, if you know what I mean."

"I already told Sirius about that," Remus said firmly, sitting up straight. "Everything is under control."

Lily opened her mouth to say something, then seemed to change her mind. Instead she shrugged, stirring her tea a little.

Desperate to change the subject, Remus took a breath and made his smile return.

"How's that project you're working on coming along?" he asked.

Lily sighed, stirring her tea idly. "Becoming increasingly difficult, but successful nonetheless. We've captured several Death Eaters since we started. However, James and I seem to be hated more than the others. Whenever we go on an ambush, we're attacked the most fiercely."

"Well, that's not all that surprising," Remus said. "You two _are_ the ones responsible for breaking their brilliant plans of Dark purposes."

"Yeah," Lily laughed. 

For nearly an hour, Remus and Lily continued to talk and catch up. The small pendulum clock in the sitting room chimed the hour, and Lily got up to clean her empty mug.

"I better get going, I promised James I wouldn't be too long," she said. "Promise me you won't talk Sirius out of joining you tomorrow. I mean it now, Remus."

"Yes," he said resolutely. He only hoped the wolf inside of him would comply, and that the Pack would stay away.

Remus helped her put on her coat and scarf. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek, making him go red.

"Also promise me you won't stay a bachelor forever," she said with good humor. "You're too good a person to be alone like this. Sirius, though, _his_ job is being a bachelor."

"That much I can't promise. James lucked out on finding the only girl in this world worth loving," he said genuinely. It was Lily's turn to blush.

"You'll know her, Remus. The girl you fall in love with will be the one who speaks to your heart, and that's a language only one other can know beside yourself."

"I'll be sure to listen, then."

"Good," Lily said, allowing Remus to open the door. "Take care, Remus."

"Good night." Remus watched her step out into the snow, just beyond where he knew the warding charms ended, and she disapparated. He went back to the kitchen, pouring himself a last mug of tea before bed, when he heard a knock on his door again. Figuring Lily had forgotten something, he went and opened the door.

"Beta?"

Beta stood shivering on his doorstep, her hair wet from the snow. She was wearing only a long sleeved pink shirt and jeans, her skin as white as the snow itself. Without a word, Remus pulled her inside and led her to his armchair. He grabbed the first thing he could, which were his wizarding robes that was hanging on a peg by the door, and threw it around her, fastening the button at the collar.

"What's happened?" he asked, completely in shock. He went to feed the fire and re-light the candles. All the while Beta said nothing. Remus grabbed the mug of tea he had been preparing for himself and handed it to her, watching as she drank it slowly, uncertainly.

As he watched, Remus looked back at his door. How had Beta gotten through the warding charms? Her name was not one of the ones he had stated would be allowed to enter past the barrier. She must've slipped through when Lily was leaving, or even figured out the charm herself. She was a witch, after all. Besides, how had she gotten in the first time? He hadn't thought about it then, which surprised him further.

Beta finished the tea quickly, some color returning to her face. She drew Remus' robe closer about her, averting her eyes. 

"Are you alright?" Remus asked her quietly. She merely nodded. Her left hand caught the light a moment before she tucked it into the folds of his robe. Remus noticed that her wrist was swollen.

"No… you're not alright. It was Alpha, wasn't it?"

"Nothing I haven't dealt with before," she said huskily.

"And yet you came here," he said simply. Beta said nothing more. It was clear he wasn't going to get any details out of her any time soon, so he got up, went to his bedroom, and brought back a pillow and a thick blanket.

"Stay here for the night." He retrieved his wand and conjured a mattress complete with bedding on the floor. "We'll talk in the morning."

Not waiting to see if she accepted the hospice he offered, Remus went into his bedroom and closed the door. The feelings that had suddenly leapt into his consciousness were nearly frightening. When he first saw Beta on his doorstep, all wet and shivering, he was deeply distraught for her. When he saw her swollen wrist, the anger he felt toward Alpha soared. And even more confusing was his desire to hold her, comfort her, run out and wring Alpha's throat.

Remus made up his mind and opened the place in his wall that led to his secret room. Ignoring the drop in temperature, he lit a single candle and sat cross-legged in front of the rosette window. He had given the small alcove a thorough cleaning and the brilliance of the near-full moon showed clearly through the glass. Closing his eyes, Remus began what had become a ritual of purging all his thoughts to the world.

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, when there was suddenly something soft and warm coming to nestle beside him. Startled, Remus twisted around to see Beta calmly sitting on the floor, only inches away.

"We'll talk now," she whispered.

Speechless, Remus merely stared at her. Her long bangs had fallen aside so that he could see her eyes, darkened by more than the lack of light. She looked very pale, hugging herself against the cold while still wearing his wizarding robe.

"Do you see what I see?" she asked, her voice still a whisper.

"No," Remus muttered softly. "What?"

She cocked her head to the side, staring at the window.

"I see loneliness, and I see pain. I see it everyday. In others, in myself."

Remus said nothing, unsure what to say.

"I don't want to be alone," her voice barely audible. "And I'm tired of pain."

"So am I," Remus said, looking where she was looking.

An owl hooted, and Remus ignored its calls. The mail could wait, or, he thought a moment later, it could be wild- searching for a meal. As awkward as it was, sitting so close to Beta and having her so open, Remus felt happy. This only confused him further.

"Why don't you leave the Pack, Beta?" he asked suddenly. "It's not right what Alpha is doing to you, and the others have done- will not, do anything."

"I don't need to leave," she whispered, shaking her head slightly.

Remus looked at her, exasperated. "Why?"

She looked at him as if the answer was so simple. "Because you're here."

Even in the dark, Remus knew his face had gone completely red. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. What feelings she has made him feel! Never before has a girl had such an effect on him.

"What difference do I make? Alpha is the leader, not me," he said.

Beta shifted her feet, her hand coming within a hair's width from his.

"Alpha is a fool, naïve, completely ignorant of what's going on. He lacks the skills to completely protect us. While the attack on Churo disturbed him greatly, still he won't do anything. He's all talk and no walk."

"And what makes you think I'll make a better leader?" Remus asked her quietly.

She lowered her gaze to the floor and sighed. It was a moment before she spoke, "Because you're a better person."

Remus looked at her closely. Her hair was so long and wild, its color a mixture of brown and gold so soft, he longed to touch it. Startled by this yearning, he stiffened his back straight, keeping his hands clasped on his folded legs.

"What makes you think so?" he asked, his tone dark. He was a liar, a traitor. In his opinion, this made him a horrible person.

"Why do you keep doubting what I tell you?" she suddenly snapped, sounding more like her normal self so much that his lips threatened to smile. "Can't you accept what the truth is?"

"The truth scares me," Remus whispered, more to himself, looking away.

"Then you haven't accepted the truth," she said. However, her tone was not condescending. They sat there for several minutes, listening to the night sounds of the forest around the cottage. Remus dared to look at Beta, and she was looking toward the floor in his direction at nothing in particular. She was deep in thought, he gathered.

"This is a special place for you, is it not?" she asked suddenly.

Remus hesitated a moment; never did he expect any other than himself to find his secret alcove. He was too surprised than angry when he found her there beside him to say anything before. When she looked at his face, he nodded.

"Yes."

"A place for you to be alone?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," she said quickly.

"What for?" Remus looked at her intently. She stared back at him, and for the first time their eyes truly locked. Remus could see the depth of her aqua colored eyes, and something in his heart stirred. It was as if a key had opened a doorway, and what he witnessed in her was something no words could describe. Then, as quickly as it happened, she broke the connection, looking at his lips.

"You're a rogue," she said softly. "I broke a law trespassing in your private space."

Remus relaxed, shaking his head with a gentle smile. "I'm not a rogue by choice. Knowing that you're safe… here… is fine with me."

And she smiled a smile so genuine, it could have broke his heart a thousand times over. There was so much trust in her eyes that he knew that one day that trust would be gone, and she would be lost to him forever.

Then she suddenly leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder. She put her hand on his knee, wrapping the robe of his that she wore around herself over her bare feet. His eyes went wide in shock, feeling his heart race. However, after a moment, her gradually warming body against his, it felt… right, somehow. He looked down at her head, seeing the pale candlelight dancing atop her brown hair, and Remus smiled. His secret alcove would stay secret, and he knew that she was safest here. Without realizing it, Remus rested his head on top of hers, and within a few minutes, both of them were asleep.

"Moony? Hey, Moony! You up?"

Remus woke with a start. He instantly froze, for he had absolutely no idea where he was. Looking over, Beta was lying beside him on the floor, nestled closely next to him and on top of his arm. He was dreadfully cold, wearing nothing but his sweater vest and collared shirt with his slacks. The candle had long gone out, and sunlight was streaming in through the rosette window. Again he heard a voice from downstairs.

"Moony!"

_Sirius! Oh, God, what am I going to do?_ Remus thought, still unmoving for fear of waking Beta. She looked so peaceful, and, to his further surprise, he didn't want to move. However, when he heard Sirius moving around inside down in the kitchen, be bit his lip and forced himself to slowly get up and move his arm from under Beta. She stirred, and he cursed himself when she woke up.

Quickly, he put a finger to his mouth to emphasize silence. Listening, they could still hear Sirius moving around below them. She nodded and quietly sat up, pointing for him to go downstairs and she'd stay in the alcove. Smiling, Remus nodded and quietly tiptoed down the stairs and closed the hidden door. Then, ruffling up his bedcovers, he opened his bedroom door and was instantly hit with the smell of bacon and sausage. 

"Well, glad you could join the living!" Sirius exclaimed when he saw him, poised over the small stove with the frying pan. "I notified the office and we've got today and tomorrow for personal sick leave. Sent it straight to Dumbledore, so no worries."

"Er…" Remus stuttered, nervously looking back at his bedroom and then at Sirius again.

"Plus," Sirius continued without noticing Remus' hesitation. "I have a surprise for you today. We're gonna take a little trip, first, but not until we eat. No excuses!"

Without further ado, Sirius grabbed Remus' shoulder and shoved him down into a chair at the kitchen table. His plate was then piled high with greasy, overcooked sausage and burnt bacon. Remus attempted a smile, but all that came out was a crooked grimace.

"Unlike Peter," Sirius said airily. "_I_ did not take cooking lessons. Eat it anyway."

Picking up his fork, watching distantly as Sirius began to dig into his own plate, Remus could think nothing but how to get Beta out of the cottage. She had no formal magical education, and most likely could not disapparate herself. He would have to distract Sirius long enough to bring Beta downstairs and outside… but how?

After a couple minutes, Remus noticed Sirius was staring at him.

"I had no idea that overcooked food sent you into deep moments of meditation, Moony."

"Must be the aroma," Remus muttered, tentatively taking a bite of bacon.

"Well, if it's that bad," Sirius said suddenly. "Then I might as well order some take-out from Hogsmeade or something."

Remus could not have been more relieved, and it showed clearly on his face. Sirius scowled, grabbing Remus' plate with a putout look.

"You try to do something nice," he muttered. 

"You _did_ suggest it, not me," Remus countered, silently rejoicing in his mind. With Sirius out to order food, that would be enough time for Remus to get Beta away safely without being seen.

"I _have_ had a craving for ginger-spiced waffles that you can only get at The Three Broomsticks. Maybe if I work my charms I can get them to cook some up special for me. _You'll_ just have to settle for whatever I can get you," Sirius said, wiping his hands. "Do get dressed while I'm gone, will you? The whole, 'day-old clothes' look just doesn't work."

Remus looked down at his wrinkled clothing, while Sirius chuckled softly and put on his cloak. 

"I'm surprised at you, Moony. A year ago you would never be seen wearing something with so much as a crease." He was still chuckling when he walked out the door, disapparating just outside the warding charms.

Remus leapt to his feet and ran to his bedroom door, only to open it and find Beta staring right back at him.

"I dunno," she said with a crooked smile. "I kinda like the disheveled look on you."

He blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, yeah?"

A moment of silence brought a funny feeling into his gut, as they stood there, inches from the other. They stared, and slowly Beta's face began to become bigger and bigger in Remus' vision. Inches became centimeters, and unconsciously he closed his eyes, feeling her come closer and closer. Then suddenly, both of them pulled back as if they had just been shocked.

"I need to go… before he gets back," Beta said quickly, pushing past him.

"Er… yes, you're right." Remus followed her to the door.

"I take it you won't run with us tonight," she said indifferently, standing by the door.

Remus felt his throat close up. "Yes," he managed to say.

"You're part of the Pack, you know." Her cold stare was back. Remus began to sweat under her glare, which was somewhat more intense than ever before.

"I can't get out of it this time." He paused for a moment, then looked at her. She told him a part about _her_ past, it was only fair she tell her part of his. "My friends always stayed with me when I transformed as a kid. We're real close, and so far I've managed to have them busy at this time of the month. They don't know about the Pack, and I'm not sure I want them to know."

Beta opened her mouth to say something, but stopped and shook her head. She took a deep breath and did not look at him; instead she looked at the floor. 

"Do you want to stay a rogue forever?" she whispered.

Remus looked at her. "No, but wherever I choose to run to, I'll run towards the Light… not the Dark."

"I don't understand why…" Beta began impatiently, stopping herself.

"I don't understand, either."

She turned around and opened the door, a blast of cold air charging into the cottage. Beta was still wearing Remus' wizarding robe, and she stopped when she realized it. Slowly she took it off, handing it to Remus. When she turned to go out, he grabbed her hand quickly.

"If he… if Alpha… You can come back," he said haltingly.

"I wouldn't have to, if you were there," she said quietly. Then she walked out, stepping out into the snow and starting a quick pace that took her out of sight quickly amongst the trees. Not more than a minute later, Sirius apparated back, holding a large steaming bag and grinning up at Remus- whom still had not changed his wrinkled clothing.

"What's the matter?" Sirius asked him as he walked up the steps, taking in Remus' expression. "You look like someone just cancelled Christmas."

Remus didn't answer him, and something on his face told Sirius not to ask further. The smell of good food hit Remus' nose, and he forced himself to smile.

"Let's eat, then. We've got a long night ahead of us."

****

Author's Note: Well then, I've finally got this up! As most of you may already know, I got a summer job- as well as a class at summer school. This has really cut into my writing time, so my endeavor to finish this fic before the end of the summer may or may not succeed. I encourage you (should you ever become curious) to visit http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html (_Lumos_) and make use of The W.R.P. (The World of Renee Potter) News Room. I update it whenever I have major or minor news. Another option is to join my mailing list.

So, as far as chapter 12 is concerned, sometime in mid-June is probably when you'll see it. Never believe me, though- it could be sooner or later.

Many thanks to those who have reviewed… and those who continue to review… and those people who think about reviewing but never do but read anyway. This is the chance for the latter to add their two cents- now more than ever before do I need feedback. It determines just how fast I need to get the chapters done ~_^ Also, special thanks to my betas- especially Tenacious Muse for coming in and doing a fantastic job (I'll have the Beta page at _Lumos_ updated soon, I promise).

Until later, my friends… "_Works in progress do more than works completed_." Muheheh.

~OrcaPotter

OrcaMorph@aol.com 


	12. The Dragon's Double

****

Chapter Twelve

_The Dragon's Double_

The moon was like a beacon on the horizon, casting shadows on the long grass. He crouched down low, ears flattened, and tail held still. The wind blew, making the grass and leaves on the trees rustle like falling rain and his fur ruffle. It only made his quarry's scent stronger, telling him what was right in front of him.

_Ha, I see you_.

Suddenly he sprung from the grass, a huge mass of claws and fur, and before he even landed he made a growl of mock disappointment. The patch of ground that was flattened by the large black dog was empty. The dog grinned at the werewolf rogue with his eyes seemingly glowing in the moonlight a yard away, his breath creating billows of clouds in the chilly air.

_I could see you coming from a mile away_. The black dog barked and danced around the huge wolf like a month-old puppy.

Without warning, the rogue broke into a chase, sending the dog bounding loudly into the woods. The rogue kept up just enough to merely nip at his heels, happily engrossed in their nighttime folly. For the entire night the two canines had wandered around territory unknown to them, being far from places they had traveled before. While it was what the rogue preferred, he knew that there really was someplace else he needed to be.

Not for the first time that night, the rogue stopped suddenly and stared up at the sky. He followed the stars toward the direction of the pack he had joined. If he stayed away too long, his position in the pack would slide, and his path to becoming alpha would grow more difficult. While he never stayed with the pack too long, even during runs, he would return… and watch. Forgetting his game again, the rogue began to wander toward his territory.

The black dog had stopped, and now ran up to block the rogue's path.

_The game is better here_, his eyes said.

The rogue bore his teeth. _I tire of this game._

There was a sudden sound behind them. Both the rogue and the dog whirled around with their hackles raised and growling to face a large and magnificent stag.

_Let me play the game, then_. The stag lowered his fine set of antlers and charged, completely taking the canines off-guard. Tails between their legs, they scattered while the stag made chase. After a moment the rogue recognized this stag and soon the game had started again with each animal challenging the other.

Suddenly, the stag stopped, and the rogue paused to see a small furry shape clinging desperately to his antlers. The rogue recognized the creature as the rat he knew and laughed mentally when the stag shook the rodent off. Still feeling decidedly playful, the rogue pounced on the rat's tail, causing the creature to shriek.

_Don't step on me, you furry monster!_

The rogue grinned. _I'll eat you then_. He opened his jaws wide and made to grab the rat, but he had wriggled free and was now clambering onto the back of the dog.

_Where shall we run?_ The stag reared excitedly.

_To the end of the earth and back again!_ The rogue broke into a run, and all four animals nearly flew over the fields and meadows. They stayed clear of villages and towns, and only when the moon began to set did they move back home. As they drew closer to his territory, however, the rogue began to feel a tugging at his heart. That feeling of being back with the Pack grew in earnest, and he began to long to be back with the alpha female and howl with the ancient song that the werewolves knew so well. The other animals seemed to sense his distracted mind, and paused beside him.

_Hungry?_ The black dog stared at him pointedly with his deep eyes.

_Hope not._ Laughter danced in the stag's gaze.

Blinking, hoping it would clear his muddled feelings, the rogue shook his great head and moved onward. The stag and the dog, with the rat still clinging to his fur, followed suit.

When he opened his eyes, Remus felt the aftereffects of his transformation fall upon him like an anvil. He was also freezing to the point where he couldn't move, and he looked up to see Sirius, James, and Peter gazing understandingly down at him. They had managed to put most of his clothes on while he was unconscious and were now pulling him up so that they could slip his coat around his shoulders.

"I-I didn't k-know you were c-coming, James… P-Peter…" Remus managed to say through his chattering teeth. His clothes were already soaked from the snow, and his friends managed to get him on his feet.

"Surprise!" James grinned genially at him. "Managed to get work done early, and grabbed Wormtail before he could find something else to busy himself with for an excuse."

"I've wanted to come for a long time, you know that!" Peter looked at James with a slightly indignant look. "I'm glad I got to, though."

"Where's Lily?" Sirius asked James as they both got on either side of Remus and stood close in case he needed to be steadied while they walked out of the woods.

"At home… planning some things for the wedding."

"Have you figured out where to hold the ceremony?" Peter asked.

"Well," James sighed. Remus noticed a tone in his voice that indicated that this was a subject much deliberated. "I would like to have it in the church at Hogsmeade. It's where my parents got married and I'm partial to tradition. Lily, on the other hand, would like something less traditional and would rather have it done in a garden somewhere or at the shore."

"What do you think about that?" Remus asked him, indicating politely to the others that he was fine as they reached a rural roadway that led to the nearest town. He was too weak, though, to disapparate just yet.

James glanced at him, Sirius, and Peter before answering. "There are many other reasons to have the ceremony at the church. Obvious ones, which I wish she would come to terms with. It only makes things harder, and makes me really think about what I'm getting her into."

"What do you mean? What are you getting her into?" Peter asked.

"Honestly, Wormtail, do you have a brain?" Sirius turned to him, exasperated. "You were there when he explained what was in his parents' vault."

"Oh, lay off him, Padfoot," Remus muttered, giving him a stern look. Sirius frowned but grumbled a quiet, yet sincere, apology.

"But I thought you didn't believe in that, James," Peter said softly.

James didn't say anything for a few minutes, and Remus looked at his face. His eyes were dark, which was unsettling to Remus. It was a look of deep worry, close to what Remus had seen in James' expression when Remus announced he was moving out. He had thought that James had cast that prophecy aside, locked in his desk at his large estate. For a time, Remus had forgotten about it and thought James had done the same. Obviously, something more was going on than what Remus was aware of.

"Are you up to disapparating yet, Moony?" James asked, his tone back to his cheery self. "Best be off now, before we reach any homes. Don't want to arouse suspicion."

Making a mental note to visit James and Lily later, alone, Remus nodded. They each disapparated without a further word.

Remus carefully avoided returning to the Den immediately after the full moon. For the first time, he felt guilty for not being with the Pack on that night. Beta had planted some strange feelings in Remus, it seemed, and he grew more confused every time he thought back to what happened in his secret alcove.

Instead, Remus focused on figuring out what was troubling James. He saw less and less of him and Lily at the Ministry, as they were constantly out battling Voldemort's growing regiment of followers. Sirius was starting to become concerned, and nearly frustrated that James wouldn't tell him much about anything. Peter was gone a lot too, joining the Longbottoms out with their assignments.

"Do… do ya think that maybe… they're having _problems_?" Sirius asked Remus quietly when they were filling out forms in their small office.

Remus turned to him slightly. "What do you mean?"

"You know," Sirius said solemnly. "Their relationship."

Remus thought a moment before shaking his head slightly. "No, I don't think so. James and Lily? They're inseparable! No, I think it has something to do with the job. With the _you know what_."

"That's rubbish, though." Sirius frowned.

"Maybe," Remus said thoughtfully. "But I believe there's more to it than James is telling us. Something's happening and he's frightened. He's worried about Lily, I can see it in his eyes."

"I wish he'd tell us. He knows I'd do anything for him and Lily, he knows that!" Sirius said, turning back to his work.

"We need to take him out. Then we'll confront him," Remus said.

"Take him out?" Sirius asked, shocked. "Why, Remus! Are you suggesting we should engage in such a social activity as _going out_? As in, a _pub_? Do you mean we should get Prongs good and drunk so that he'll be so out of it that he'll answer anything we ask?"

Remus turned and glared at him. "Don't be ridiculous! _You'll_ get him drunk, I'll ask him the questions. Heaven forbid you should ask him something that Lily would kill him over for telling."

Sirius turned to look back at him. "Your lack of trust in me is great on my self-esteem."

"I love you, Padfoot." Remus grinned stupidly at him before having an inkbottle chucked squarely to his face.

"Sometimes you shock me, Moony," Sirius said, grinning back mischievously.

"I shock myself, really," Remus laughed.

As a matter of fact, Remus continued to be in a state of shock at himself when he and Sirius managed to convince James to come out of his house that evening. Lily thought it was a great idea, however, since she needed to make alterations to her wedding gown and the brides maids' dresses.

"Honestly, James!" Lily piqued when he continued to insist that he should stay. "You know you want to. Besides, you hate it when Alissa and Mika come over. Not to mention Ash gets on your nerves every time she tries to criticize your flying skills."

Remus couldn't help but chuckle as he saw the torn look on James' face. Clearly he agreed with Lily, but was too worried to leave her alone in the house. It made it even more vital that Remus and Sirius found out what was bothering him, since it was quite uncharacteristic for him to turn down at night on the town. Besides, the fact that Lily's closest friends were coming over meant she really wasn't alone.

"Sure you don't want to stay yourself?" Sirius whispered in his ear as they jovially watched Lily force a coat on James. "I'm sure Mika would be happy to see you."

Remus couldn't stop the blush from rising on his cheeks. Mika, a Ravenclaw their age who was close friends with Lily, admitted to Remus in their sixth year that she had a crush on him. He had to admit he liked her as well, but was too shy to say or do anything. Clearly Mika did not let that stop her, and one day she had pulled him into an empty classroom and kissed him. It was a memory he still liked to go back to, but it still hurt that during their seventh year when he sensed things might go further between them that he told her that they couldn't be anything more than friends. If she had found out his secret, who knows? Mika was angry, but after a while accepted what he told her and they continued to be friends. That didn't mean, however, that he wanted to continue going out together. It felt awkward, so he was just as glad to go that night.

"C'mon you big git," Sirius said, grabbing James by the shoulders and shoving him out the door. "We're gonna party 'till they kick us out!"

"Again?" Remus groaned, remembering the last time they had been literally kicked out of a pub.

"_Please_ don't get too drunk," Lily said severely from the door as they walked out to the road where Sirius' motorcycle waited. "I'd much prefer at least one of you to be the designated driver of that thing, and I don't want anymore owls from the Department of Excessive and Unethical Drinking asking me to come and pick up my brothers!"

"_I_ wasn't drunk!" Remus pointed out loudly. "They locked me up because _these_ two and Peter said that I was and that I had a sober spell on me to cover it up! Which, by the way, such a spell _does not exist_, which I pointed out to that stupid department."

"Quit whining, Moony," Sirius growled, smiling sweetly back at Lily. "Don't worry Lil, we'll take good care of your boy."

"Remember, Lily. Don't let anyone else but the girls in and make sure the charms are still strong." James looked at her directly with a rare severe expression.

She nodded and waved them off impatiently. Sirius and Remus urged James on and they managed to get him away and on the motorcycle. While it was obvious the three of them couldn't all fit on the bike (which Remus was all too thrilled about) Sirius opted for a solution. Much to Remus' dismay, a wave of Sirius' wand magically expanded the bike seat, allowing plenty of room for the three of them.

Just what happened between them getting on the bike and then landing in a safe location near a small pub for wizards on the outskirts of London was all a blur to Remus. His head was embedded in James' back as they flew at ridiculous speeds over what felt like the whole of Britain. James had to help steady him as he slid off the bike and wobbled uncertainly on his feet. Sirius merely laughed himself hoarse.

The Dragon's Double was a small pub known to supply some of the oddest Muggles and most rugged wizards with the strongest liquor. Hidden off the side of a dirt road covered with ancient trees, the squat building was older than what everyone claimed it to be. Remus and the others had happened upon the place two years ago, having heard of it from an older student while searching for the perfect place to try out their aging potions. They made friends with the pub's owner, an old, grizzly wizard who had forgotten just about every spell other than what was needed to keep the place running. Named Old Joe, he was a stickler for breaking rules himself, and had no qualms about giving Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter a taste of what a rebel life had to offer.

Of course, no one aside from themselves knew of the place. Not even Lily, for James would hang himself before telling her about it. Sirius decided it was perfect for another visit, for just one shot of the pub's infamous Fairies Tears would be enough to get James to spill every secret and them some. Unaware of the secret plan his friends had in store, James too readily agreed to see Old Joe.

They were used to the stares, as what they usually got when they stepped inside the door. It smelled strongly of cigarettes and strong liquor, with old western saloon music playing faintly from a corner jukebox. Each man inside was of undeterminable origin, be them wizard or Muggle. After a few moments the blank and criticizing glares from each of their faces would return to their filled mugs and drunken chatter. Quickly, Sirius led the way to the table they usually occupied in a private corner of the pub.

"Remember when we _first_ walked in?" James laughed, looking around brightly as if he had just stepped into an amusement park. "I nearly wet myself at the sight."

Sirius and James looked at Remus with a controlled expression, clearly on the verge of laughter. Remus looked away, blushing furiously. He really didn't want to remember that.

A really skimpy-dressed woman with impossibly large hair and a lipstick-covered cigarette hanging perilously from her mouth appeared at their table with a sarcastic gaze.

"Sorry, boys. We don' 'ave apple juice on tap," she said icily.

Sirius did not let the woman deter him and both James and Remus grinned at each other as they watched Sirius turn on his most flattering smile.

"My dear lady," he said with his most charming voice. "We are good acquaintances with Old Joe. Perhaps you could let him know that his 'little friends' are here?"

Remus tried real hard not to snicker as the waitress regarded Sirius with an impassive stare. "'An my little toe is the Queen Mother."

James couldn't help it. He hid his face behind his hands and chuckled violently at Sirius' expression, which had fallen with pathetic disbelief. Remus tried hard to keep his voice steady as he turned to the waitress.

"I-I'm sorry, ma'am. We're just here to see Old Joe. Is it p-possible for him to give us a minute?" His face was red from suppressed laughter.

With an impatient sigh, the waitress threw down her order pad and disappeared. All three of them finally let it loose. They laughed until their eyes were red from tears and several more blank and haughty stares were sent in their direction.

"Honestly, Padfoot!" James cried. "'_My lady_'? What century are you from?"

"It's classic! Girls fall for it all the time, the whole proper chivalry nonsense," Sirius exclaimed.

"I rather like her reaction," Remus laughed.

"Yeah, and I bet she treats her feet as royalty," James said.

"I'd prefer not to think about what her feet look like, actually," Sirius grumbled, grinning like mad.

"W'us this 'bout three babes in my pub?" thundered a voice.

All three of them jumped to realize that Old Joe had appeared at their table. A large, fat, and grizzly man with his mouth full of cigar, Old Joe stood leering at them with his matted brown hair mingled with sweat that seemed to pour like a fountain on their table. Sirius beamed.

"Hey, Old Joe! Remember us?

Old Joe scrutinized each of their faces before a slight grin managed to become visible between his chubby wet cheeks.

"Aye, 'ben a while, 'as it? Graduates now, eh?" He exhaled a cloud of smoke that made Remus turn green and feel sick.

"Nearly a year now," James said, smiling but with a disgusted crinkle in his eyes. "Getting myself married come May."

"Are yeh now?" Old Joe gave him a studious eye. "Bet yeh want to celebrate."

"Indeed we do!" Sirius said excitedly before James could answer.

"Have anything… special?" Remus asked tentatively.

"Special?" Old Joe looked at him squarely. "Depends on what yeh call 'special'. How 'special' yeh wan' it?"

"We're men now, Old Joe!" Sirius said impressively. "Give us your best."

Old Joe looked at him with a narrowed expression that made Sirius nearly sink in his chair.

"Men now my butt." He puffed his cigar. "Yeh're still a lad, all of yeh. I'll give yeh summut, but I won' be responsible."

Remus frowned as he saw the mischievous expressions cross James' and Sirius' faces.

"Don't worry, Old Joe. We're covered."

Remus wrought his fingers as he watched Old Joe smirk and walk back to the bar. He rounded on his friends as they grinned excitedly.

"Let's not get carried away. What if we're found? You know, as Ministry employees, we shouldn't be doing this."

Sirius looked at him, his expression rapidly becoming annoyed.

"Whose idea was this, Remus?"

_Good point_, Remus thought, biting his lip as Sirius nodded. _Perhaps now my rational mind has caught up with my reckless one. Well, who said I didn't know how to have fun?_

"It's my job to remind us all of the irresponsible decisions and actions we make. Now that I've done my part, you can pass me my drink and I will proceed to loose all cognitive thought with the two of you, as always."

"Here, here!" James and Sirius cried joyously, even more so when the same waitress from before arrived with three small glasses and a dark, unlabeled flask. She eyed them each as she set a glass in front of them.

"Let it be known to yehs that we're not responsible for damages or stolen property as result of your intoxication in reference to yehselves, others, animals, 'an inanimate objects. Drive responsibly and please refrain from pass'n out in the walkways." She poured a few ounces of the unlabeled liquor in their glasses as they stared at her. "Good luck."

Without further ado, she turned on her heels and left to go tend another table. Remus, Sirius, and James looked down in union at the dark, swirling liquid in their shots.

"Uhm, Padfoot?" James asked, cocking his head as he tapped his glass. "Is this what they call Fairies Tears?"

"Would help if she had told us what we were drinking instead of giving us the disclaimers," Sirius muttered.

"Taste it, Padfoot," Remus suggested.

"No, you do it, Prongs." Sirius looked at James.

"Nuh uh, you."

"You're the one who ordered it, you do it."

"No way! You ordered it! You take the first sip!"

"Guys…" Remus interjected.

"Oh, no, you're gonna do it." Sirius folded his arms.

"No I'm not." James leered at him.

"Guys… why don't-"

"Stop being a sissy and just take a sip already!"

"You're the expert, you do it!"

"GUYS!" Remus slammed his fists on the table, making them jump and stare at him. "Why don't I go up and _ask_ Old Joe what it is he gave us so that the fear of falling on the floor in a fetal position and foaming at the mouth is not as much a risk as becoming hopelessly drunk, as you two expect?"

"Good idea, Moony!" James and Sirius said in union.

Rolling his eyes and grabbing his shot glass, Remus got up and threaded his way among the tables to the bar. Some scattered customers were sitting on the stools, hunched over the bar so that each person looked nearly indistinguishable from the other except in size and height. Remus swallowed nervously, trying not to disturb any of them so as not to risk an unnecessary pub brawl. He caught sight of the waitress taking dirty glasses into the back kitchen, where he could hear Old Joe bellowing out orders and the waitress' snide comebacks. Remus moved to go to the swinging door where the waitress had walked through, when, sure enough, he elbowed someone.

"'Ey, gerroff!" came a gruff and muffled voice from the man's hidden face.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you!" Remus blurted out quickly, taking a step back and only nearly tripping over another barstool.

The man was wearing a dirty brown trench coat, with the collar turned up. His hair was mostly gray, with specks of hazel brown trying desperately to cling on to what was left of this man's prime. In fact, his hair looked much the same as Remus', only seriously unkempt and dirty. Remus wrinkled his nose, quickly regaining his composure until the man abruptly turned. With a shattering crash, Remus dropped his glass in pure shocked disbelief.

Trying hard to focus behind a pair of cracked spectacles, was his own face. Remus looked into the eyes of his father, finding no recognition there. Only the drunken confusion brought on upon hours of drinking could be seen. Jonathan Lupin stared at his son as he would a roach, his face aged beyond his possible years. With heartbreaking realization, Remus knew Neo had been telling the truth. Their father had left, relying upon his liquor and becoming a full-time alcoholic, leaving his wife alone. She in turn became one as well.

"Who?" his father snapped, trying to point at Remus. He could think of nothing to say, his mouth gaping like a fish.

People were beginning to stare, drawn by his father's slurring growl. Quickly, Remus grabbed him and struggled to get him to his feet, leading him out to the door. He glanced at the table where James and Sirius sat to see that they weren't looking and barely managed to get his father outside before they did. Steering him over to a thicket of trees nearby, Remus got his father to stand somewhat upright without assistance.

"Who'd you think… what you?" his father babbled.

Drawing upon his memory for a temporary charm to help clear his father's mind, Remus tentatively pointed his wand at his father's temples and muttered "_Relovate!_" Rapidly, Remus' father's pupils drew into focus and he stood straighter, clearing his throat and wiping his dripping nose on the sleeve of his trench coat.

"Father?" Remus asked carefully.

"Remus?" his father blinked at him. "Remus, why aren't you at school? What're you doing here?"

"Father," he took a step toward him to look him in the eyes. "I graduated last year, don't you remember? Don't you know about Mother? You've been missing!"

"Remus, you shouldn't be here, it's not safe, son." His father stepped back from him, shaking his head. Fear replaced the dull indifference in his eyes, looking around wildly as if anticipating someone to leap out of a bush.

"Where have you been? Where were you when Neo killed Mother!" Remus quickly lost his control, not expecting his father to behave like he was, much less find him drunk in a pub.

"You stay away from your brother, you hear me?" his father said sharply, his voice still slightly slurring. "I tried, Remus, I tried… but your brother is consumed by hate. He never forgave me, or your mother. Don't listen to him! I won't any longer! But you must go, you _must_ go! Don't take his path… or mine. Things are changing, things are going to happen and your brother will make sure of it."

"What's going on, Father?" Remus asked him desperately. "Why is Neo doing this? What have you been doing?"

For a moment, his father gave him a knowing look and a sad, grim smile reminiscent of the times when Remus would ask him what he did at work. It made Remus hold his breath, seeing his father look at him that way, standing there close to him.

"Ah, son, you know I'm an Unspeakable. I will not see you hurt, you must not have any part of this. You go far from here, leave the country. Make your life someplace else and continue the Lupin name. I'm so very proud of you, as I always have. Perhaps… perhaps that's your answer."

Words caught in Remus' throat. He stepped forward more, but his father shook his head and stepped back. Tears prickled in Remus' eyes as he fought to keep them back.

"B-but f-father!" _Don't make me lose you too, again_.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I'm disgraced and a coward, not worthy of anything. I'm sorry." Before Remus could say anything more, his father turned and with a loud POP, disapparated.

Motionless with shock, Remus stood there gaping at the spot where his father had stood. He hadn't seen his father in nearly two years, trying not to believe what Neo had said. But it was true, and his brief meeting that night did nothing to answer his questions, only cause more.

Remus didn't notice how wet his cheeks were, ignorant of the pent up tears that had begun to flow freely. More fearful questions filled his heart- _Could Father be in line with Voldemort?_

He wasn't aware of how long he had been standing there or how long it had been since he had left the others. Remus barely noticed the pub's door swinging open and Sirius' worried face searching the shadows frantically until he spotted Remus. When he stomped over and stood before him, cloaked in the darkness beyond the pub's lights, Sirius couldn't see the expression wrought on Remus' face.

"_Where have you been_?" he hissed, shaking Remus' shoulders. "I'm afraid we have a situation."

It was as if hearing him from far away. Remus blinked, the salty tears making the world a blur and Sirius an indistinguishable blob. _Why did Father give up on us?_ He thought miserably. _What has he done? It's my fault Neo has so much hatred in him… this is my fault._

"Are you listening?!" Sirius shouted at him, beginning to pull Remus back to The Dragon's Double. "I said that we _have a situation_!"

"Sirius… I-" Remus choked on his words. They simply would not come out. What could his friends do?

Oblivious to his distraught friend, Sirius dragged and pushed Remus through the door. All at once sight, smell, and sound hit him like a freight train. The pub was in an uproar with shouts and shattering glass. Liquor and tobacco smoke were even more intense, creating a haze that made details impossible to see. And in the middle of it all, standing on top of a table with his wand waving dramatically about his head, was James.

"And if _I _were Prime Minister!" his slurred voice bellowed over the din. "I would have five camels and a talking trash bin, just to make it even!" 

Remus blinked, not quite comprehending exactly what he was seeing. His mind was too busy with thoughts about his father, his brother, and even his mother to gather exactly why one of his best friends was standing on top of a table.

"Don't just stand there!" Sirius bellowed in his ear, watching nervously as the waitress rolled her eyes and called over her shoulder to Old Joe. "We gotta get him outta here before every official both Muggle and wizard is on top of this place!"

"Sirius!" James cried, stomping his foot on the table, making a pint of beer soar into it's customer's lap. "I say, such a jolly drink… I never knew you had six fingers."

Muttering anxiously, Sirius dragged Remus up to James and began to coax their friend down. Remus' thoughts paused just long enough for him to identify what was going on and finally help Sirius in managing to get James off the table and around their shoulders. Before Old Joe and the waitress could reach them, they were out of the pub and back to the place where Sirius had parked the motorcycle.

"Help me get him on the seat, he can sit between you and me," Sirius said, grunting with effort as he tried to get James' leg over the bike.

"Hey, guys, I love ya but you don't have to be fresh… I'm a married man," James babbled, laughing every few minutes.

"What happened?" Remus asked Sirius, forcing his emotions down in light of what was happening. _This is no time to get emotional… there has got to be a rational explanation. Maybe if I could find Father again…_

"He took a sip, that's what happened!" Sirius growled, securing James' arms around his waist and sitting before him. Remus scrambled on to the back, holding James steady and wincing as the bike roared to life. Any further explanations had to wait, for it was too loud to talk over the din of the engine. Wisely, Sirius did not go back to the Potter estate. Instead, he took them to his own flat on the outskirts of London not far, in fact, from The Dragon's Double. He had just acquired the place a month before, after leaving his parents whom both had marital problems and their nightly arguments finally got too much for Sirius. There was a hidden spot for his motorcycle, and he landed it with precision and care. Both he and Remus then half-dragged James into the flat and deposited him on the only piece of furniture in the house- a sofa.

"Are you sure it was just a _sip_?" Remus queried, looking James directly in his eyes. He was completely and hopelessly drunk and it took a moment to register that Remus needed to get a bucket… and quickly.

"Sirius! A bucket, give it to … ah, oh… oh, gross… eh, never… never mind."

"I don't remember eating that…" James sputtered. Sirius conjured a mop and proceeded to clean the floor while Remus wiped James' face.

"It _was_ just a sip! He took it not long after you got up… I didn't think it'd be dangerous. Apparently there's more alcohol in one sip of that stuff than in every pint on the British Isles," Sirius said.

"I'm assuming you didn't find anything out, then," Remus said differently.

"Other than that he has a fetish for Lily's lime green toenail polish, no. _Brilliant _idea, Moony, simply smashing!" Sirius dumped the mop in a bucket of fresh water with a splash.

"It's not like you didn't agree with me," Remus muttered.

"Yeah, well, Lily will hex us senseless if we take him home in this state. Anything we cast on him will only be temporary, she'd find out sooner or later. He'd better stay here tonight." Sirius poked James in the shoulder. James fell over on his side, laughing; both Sirius and Remus looked at each other and nodded.

Suddenly, the emotions that Remus had subdued threatened to overwhelm him. He was quickly becoming claustrophobic in the room, despite the lack of furnishing. He had to get out or he felt like he was going to explode and become just as invalid as James was. His skin went sheet white and sweat broke out on his face, but Sirius was too busy shaking his head at James to notice.

"I'll check up on Lily and tell her that James and you are locked in a chess game that won't end. She should believe it, it happened before. I uh… I'm gonna… gonna go home. Owl me if you need me, okay?"

By the time Sirius turned his head to look at him, Remus was out the door.

Wanting nothing more than to curl up and sob alone in his secret room, Remus waited until he was far from Sirius' flat before gathering enough wits to disapparate. It wasn't safe to perform such magic in a weak, unstable emotional state. Perhaps he only managed to perform the spell under the determination to get away. Nevertheless, it took a few minutes for Remus to realize that he had, in fact, safely apparated to the front lawn of the Potter estate and was standing tear-stricken on the closely manicured flower garden Lily tended to. Numbly, hastily wiping his face with the sleeve of his coat, Remus carefully treaded through the garden and onto the walk. Hesitantly, he knocked on the door and the house-elf, Owen, answered.

"Mister Remus Lupin!" he cried, a wide smile on his little face. "We did not expect you, sir."

"Hullo, Owen," Remus said, his voice hoarse. "Can you please tell Lily that James will be staying with Sirius, tonight?"

Owen cocked his head, slightly puzzled. "Perhaps Miss Lily Evans would rather speak with _you_, sir? I can get her, sir, I will."

"No!" Remus said sharply, making the poor house-elf jump. "No, no reason to disturb her. James and Sirius are just in the middle of a chess game and it doesn't look like one will win before sundown. No need to worry, if she needs him she can send an owl over, that's all."

Owen did not look convinced. He looked about ready to sprint up the stairs, despite what Remus said. Faintly, Remus could hear laughter and excited voices filtering from upstairs. No… no, surely if Lily saw him she would know what had happened, both to him and to James.

"But… sir!" Owen squeaked.

"Thank you," Remus said quickly. "Tell her goodnight for me, too."

Before Owen could so much as blink one of his large eyes, Remus immediately disapparated. His subconscious took over for his thinking and he wasn't sure just where he had directed himself to go. A moment later, Remus was standing in the middle of a forest that he distantly recognized as the one surrounding his cottage. There was a sudden, abrupt sound. He realized it was himself, sobbing with heaving gasps that racked his chest. Every pent-up emotion that he had stored away began to pour out of him like an uncontrollable tidal wave. He sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands and letting his tears wash away the smell of liquor and smoke that still lingered on his skin.

Another sound, and Remus ignored it. Only now, hands were pulling him up by his shoulders and leading him forward. Remus couldn't see anything, his hands still over his face and his tears flooding his eyes. Carefully, he was guided up the steps to his cottage and led inside, immediately swept into his bedroom and forced to sit on his bed. Then, and only then, did Remus force himself to look at his concerned stranger.

Yet it wasn't a stranger that looked down at him, it was Beta. He could scarcely see her own tear-stained cheeks, her matted hair strewn with dead leaves and melted snow. There was a bruise under her chin, but she held her face high. She looked at Remus and her eyes held nothing but sympathy. It would have shocked him was he not so upset.

"Are you lost?" she whispered.

He didn't answer, hanging his head while his sobs continued to rack him.

"Things are changing again," she said softly. "Alpha and your brother have made some sort of decision."

_Neo… Neo hates me… hates Father… hated Mother._

"Come summer, there will be a formal brawl. Against D Two. Your brother wants the werewolves to be united… something is going to happen. Only D Two and our Pack stand in the way. Our quarrel must cease in order for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to have a full and united army. Alpha will not vouch for expanded territory in return."

When Remus made no response, she continued.

"Our Pack will die without a strong leader. In the union we will be divided! Our Network will collapse under the dark lord's rule!"

Heat flooded through Remus, and he looked up at her, his face contorted with anger.

"What do you want me to _do_?! Look at ME! Do I _look_ like a leader of men?"

Beta stared at him, taken aback, before she raised her hand and slapped him across his face. The blow made his ears ring.

"To be a leader takes more than brawn and politics. It takes _heart_."

"My brother murdered my mother. He has no magic, yet he's somehow a cog in Voldemort's circle. His influence has spread, taking my father with him. Countless lives are at stake while others are lost everyday under Voldemort's rule. The land is being engulfed in darkness and you _want_ that to happen? To live in fear of your life? Practicing evil?"

Beta shook her head and turned her back to him. His anger quickly ebbed and his emotion left him feeling heavy and exhausted. Only, something was drawing him to Beta. He looked at her back, seeing how tense her shoulders were. How could he convince her that her path was wrong? She was a good person – he knew it, why couldn't she? It was his assignment, after all, to either lead the werewolves back to the allies' side and away from the Dark, or have them taken into custody and treated like wild monsters. Despite his uncertainty and dislike of his task, Remus had come to feel bonded to these human beings like himself. He couldn't stand to see them arrested and treated like rabid strays. And, most of all, Remus would not let anything happen to Beta.

"I know," Remus started to say, his voice weak, "that you don't _really_ want to be part of Voldemort's army. That you hate injustice and inequality, and that you know that what he says are lies. You don't want to be evil at all… and you don't want to hurt _anyone_."

She turned her head to him so that all he could see was her profile in shadow. "You sit there and judge me?"

"Why not?" Remus looked at the floor. "You've obviously judged _me_."

"I'm not so sure," she whispered.

"Really, then." Remus closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. "Why is it that you're always in my shadow, if you truly don't believe me?"

Beta looked at him fully, her bangs covering her eyes. Remus could hear her mind, picturing her face that spoke what her heart spoke. _What is this feeling inside?_

"Maybe because I choose to believe that there's more to you than meets the eye. You're a rogue caught between two worlds, belonging to both and yet not to both at the same time. You see things others can't and while you hurt, it makes you stronger. Such a quiet spirit with so much fire. Maybe that's why I want you… want you to be… I want…"

His mind reeling and his heart pounding, Remus looked at her.

"I know that right now, I want you to sit beside me."

Beta's face softened, and memory flickered across Remus' mind and he saw a flicker of aqua blue light her eyes. Her hair fell over her face then as she sat beside him, and Remus reached over and tucked her bangs behind her ears. It was as if an invisible hand pushed him then, for without realizing he had the strength and will to do so, he leaned forward and kissed the arch of her nose. Beta sighed softly, and she brushed her cheek against his, her lips lightly touching his. Then, Remus couldn't hold back his feelings any longer. His lips met hers and lingered there, and it was if they were meant to be together.

Remus gathered her in his arms, stroking her long hair. It was just as silky and fine as he thought it would be.

"What will you do?" she whispered in his ear, laying down beside him.

He took a moment to answer. "I will do what I'm instructed to do."

She pulled back a little. Remus could see her staring at him with her characteristic glare. "By whom?"

"By my heart," Remus said, and he pulled her closer. Beta did not object. 

The back of his eyelids turned red, and Remus opened his eyes to find the dying winter sun streaking through his window and onto his face.

"Good morning, handsome!" boomed a deep, loud voice.

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin. Quickly remembering that he was not alone when he fell asleep the night before, then emotionally and physically exhausted, Remus looked up and knew that whoever loomed over him now wasn't Beta.

"Sirius?!" he cried incredulously. Where was Beta? _Oh God! Did he find her here, and she ran off? Did he see? Heavens… am I naked?!_

"You look _radiant_, you know that?" Sirius wore his mischievous grin.

Pulling a face, Remus quickly scuttled from underneath him and, relieved to find himself at least partially clothed from the waist down, hastily pulled on new clothing that was put out. He registered momentarily that he did not remember setting out fresh clothes.

"While you got some beauty sleep, I was up all night with Prongs." Sirius' face then suddenly went very solemn. "There are some things I found out that you should probably know."

Remus combed through his hair, immediately putting aside his troubled thoughts. He looked at Sirius with a grim expression.

"Where is he?"

"Home, with Lily. She, er, was not pleased. However, she seemed more worried about you than James, whom she promptly whacked over the head with her wand, which resulted in his hair turning a brilliant shade of pink. He was feeling that one sip, and I'm sure he will continue to for a great while, and not just from the liquor, I think."

Remus went into his small living room and to the kitchen, where he started to brew up some tea. Sirius sat down at the table, not noticing Remus' worried search of his small cottage for any sign of Beta. It was as if she was never there; nothing was amiss.

_Why would it?_ He thought. _We were in my bedroom all night… unless she's upstairs…_

"While what happened was still insane, perhaps you were right in thinking that James would never tell this in his right state of mind," Sirius said.

Remus poured them some tea, cut a lemon into slices, and put it out on the table. He looked intently at Sirius as he sat down, forcing himself to focus.

"It would appear," Sirius continued, "That we've been in the dark as to what all James and Lily have been working on with Arabella and Mundungus. They've been rooting out many of Voldemort's followers and exposing them, being exceptionally skilled at it. James in particular."

"But we knew they've been doing a great job for a while now, that's no secret," Remus said.

"Yes, but they haven't told us _how_." Sirius paused to take a sip of his tea while Remus stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Moony, James has been going out into the open in known occupied areas for activity to be a _trap._ The Death Eaters and Dementors go after him specifically, not really paying much mind to the others. There have been many close calls, but James takes them out with a skill we're not aware of. He can disarm a whole mob of Death Eaters with one spell, immobilize them just as easily. James has a power behind him that he can't even explain when he's intoxicated. He believes it all has to do with that blasted prophecy, and he's very afraid."

Remus' eyes went wide and he sat back in his chair. "No wonder."

Sirius nodded grimly. "Yes, and lately Voldemort has gotten real keen on James. Some attacks are now directed at him and Lily, and he's petrified that they'll eventually find them at their home."

_Didn't I hear Dumbledore mention something about James and Lily relocating? I can't remember…_ Remus thought to himself.

"What should we do?" Remus asked.

"We should confront him, of course! I can't stand by and watch him suffer. We can help him and Lily."

Remus nodded, thoughtfully taking a sip of his tea. "He won't be happy knowing how we found out."

"He won't be happy knowing it was _your_ idea." Sirius grinned. There was a sudden, loud thump from above them, making both of them jump in their chairs. Remus stared at the ceiling above his bedroom with wide, nervous eyes.

"What was _that_? Some kind of mutant squirrel?" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus hoped the look he gave him was innocent enough. "Heheh, large as a breadbox. Ehem… more tea?"

****

Author's Note: I'll start off by saying – _please review!_ I haven't heard from many of you for the past few chapters, so please be sure to tell me what you think as this story begins to reach its climax by leaving a few words. Since I'm working full time this summer, my time (as I've reminded many of you frequently) has seriously been eaten up by work and other things. This fic may not be finished before the end of this season, and even later so since school will be starting again and I might still be working.

Some links FYI – http://orcapotter.tripod.com My official archive and home site, with plenty to read and see.

http://orcapotter.tripod.com/hpp02.html The official home of The 3rd Annual Harry Potter Party 2002, where you can learn more about throwing your own HP shindig and find out about the international Harry Potter Symposium (convention) next summer in Orlando, Florida (my home town, imagine that ~_^).

I leave you by saying, _please review!_ And look forward to chapter 13…

~Orca


	13. This, My Solemn Vow

****

Author's Note: Hello there, remember me? The number 13 certainly lived up to it's unlucky name with this chapter, as it has been over a month since I last posted and it has literally taken this long to get this finished- in other words, this chapter is _cursed_. At the end of this chapter I'll elaborate, but right now I'm sure you're eager to get started. I implore you, review when you're done!

Chapter Thirteen

This, My Solemn Vow

It seemed to take forever for Remus to convince Sirius to meet him at James' house later that day to take care of their friends' issue. There were no more mysterious sounds emanating from Remus' ceiling, but Sirius was still real curious as to what Remus did the previous evening. Claiming he had a "radiant glow" about his face and the fact that he _never_ went to bed without pajamas, much less _half-clothed_ with jeans that were covered in vomit stains, Sirius continued to press Remus for anything even as he was being pushed out the door.

"I'm beginning to think that _you're_ not telling the whole truth," Sirius said, pulling his coat back on as Remus shoved him onto the front porch.

"Does the fact that I reek of regurgitated alcohol mean anything to you?" Remus asked him, exasperated and anxious to find Beta. He was almost certain that it was her hiding in the secret room. Although, he _did_ smell horribly and every inch of him was screaming for a shower. How Beta _ever_ stood his odor last night was beyond him.

"Hey, I had to clean up after him twice more after you left, so don't you start," Sirius said, pointing a finger at him.

"I promise to meet you at his house later this afternoon. Right now I want a shower and to finish that report on Illegal European Dark Magic Migration before Arabella or Mundungus hexes off my head." He stood poised to close the door.

"Fine then," Sirius said. Before he turned to disapparate, Sirius gave him a mischievous wink. "Tell her I said hello, for me, Moony boy."

"Her who?" Remus' voice squeaked comically high.

Sirius laughed, stepped out into the melting snow, and disapparated.

"You're letting the cold air in, Moony boy," said a voice from behind Remus.

He started, slamming the door and turning to face Beta, who stood wearing one of his wizarding robes over her wrinkled sweatshirt and jeans.

"He didn't see you, did he?" Remus blurted out.

"Of course not. I heard the big oaf making his entrance and had plenty of time to hide. Although, it was quite difficult to get out of bed." Remus could have sworn he saw her wink behind her long bangs.

Moving before she could see him turn scarlet, Remus instantly went to pour her some tea and prepare breakfast. Beta moved to help him, and before long the entire cottage smelled of scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage.

"You cook remarkably well, for a rouge bachelor," Beta commented between bites. They sat across from each other at Remus' table, both quite at ease.

"If I didn't, I'd likely die of starvation," he said with a smile.

Several minutes passed of friendly silence, save for the sound of scraping forks and knives. Remus watched Beta's face with a strange excited happiness. His heart kept leaping every time she spoke, no matter how mundane the comment. Then suddenly, he could feel an uneasiness about her, the feeling quickly spreading to him. Beta cleared her throat, pushing her empty plate away, not quite looking at him.

"Er…" she started. "About last night."

Remus felt as if a piece of bacon lodged in his throat. "What?"

"We, uh… we can't tell anyone about it. Not yet, anyway." He couldn't read her expression, but he felt Beta's vibes nevertheless, and she was clearly trying to keep herself under control.

"Of course," he said quietly. "If Alpha were to find out, I would surely be removed. And… and you…"

"This summer is when things will change. You will have to make a choice, then. After that, I have a right to make my own." She took on her air of characteristic indifference, her eyes hidden by her mess of bangs.

"This summer, then," Remus said. He looked down in his lap, twisting his napkin in his hands.

Beta suddenly sat up straighter and looked at him properly. He returned her gaze, feeling somewhat relieved that her vibes had changed to genuine curiosity.

"You are very loyal to your friends, especially that Sirius fellow and the James Potter you were talking about. They are your other pack, yes?"

Remus smiled softly. "Yes, I guess you can say that."

"Do they know about _our_ Pack?"

He shifted a little in his seat, looking away and feeling unease settle on him again.

"No…I haven't told them, yet."

"But they know what you are?"

"Yes. They were my first friends and are my best ones. I guess you could call them my family. We're like brothers… and sisters, if you count Lily. Although to James, she's something more."

"And who am I to you?" she asked, her head cocked a little and just enough that a few strands of her hair fell away to show one of her large dark eyes. Remus noted that she didn't mention the Pack, which made him curious on top of his already strong emotional feelings toward the woman in front of him.

"You're something new," he whispered. "Something different. More than what I ever thought I had before."

Either of them didn't know what to say after that. Beta looked away, biting her lip and for the first time looking torn. After several minutes, they both got up to clean the table in silence. Then Remus recalled yet again just how bad he smelled to himself and excused himself to the shower. Normally Remus would take his time with bathing and other routine hygienic things, but the mental picture of Beta sitting patiently on his bed wearing his wizarding robe and borrowed pair of tube socks made him hurry.

By the time he was dressed in fresh clothing, Beta was beginning to pull on her coat.

"I better go before Alpha gets too suspicious." She looked at him indirectly. "Will you run… will you run with me, next month?"

Remus felt his heart beat faster, if that was possible.

"Alpha wouldn't like that," he said.

"Before the end of summer, Alpha won't be in the position anymore to care, will he? Time to start your plan in action, Rogue." She looked at him squarely.

Remus felt something stir at the back of his mind, something almost unconscious trying to bubble up into memory. He had a vague sense that Beta knew what it was, and was trying to remind him. She was keener to her canine instincts anyway, having been born with the curse.

"What will you do?" he asked her.

Beta looked away for a moment, seeming to consider her answer. "What I always do. Listen, watch, and learn. As second in command, it is my duty. As a pack member, it is my privilege. But, as a companion, it is all I can do."

Remus didn't have a chance to react to her last statement, as Beta suddenly grabbed his hands and pulled him close to her- so close that he could feel her hot breath on his face.

"Heed me on this, though, my Rogue," she whispered, her eyes dark with concern. "Things are always more than what they seem. Take care that you tread the right path."

Then, lightly, she quickly kissed him by his right ear and released her hold. Before he had a chance to blink, she was gone, the door sliding shut in her wake. Remus was too stunned to move, nor to see her lithe shape move quickly out into the forest. He simply stared at the space where she had stood, where she had held him close, with such emotional intensity that he suddenly came to the realization that he knew what his feelings all meant. 

And he was both elated, and afraid.

"Mister Remus Lupin! Please come in."

Owen the house-elf quickly ushered Remus into the sitting room at the Potter Estate with his usual important air. The little elf seemed a tad tense, however, and Remus suspected why. When he laid eyes upon his friends, Sirius was sitting on the edge of an armchair with his fingers drumming on his knees. James was at the end of the sofa, one hand holding up his head as he stared dully at the floor. Lily was clearly not in a pleasant mood, sitting on the other side of the sofa with her arms crossed. They all barely looked up as Remus took his usual seat on the other armchair, and Remus frowned.

"How are you feeling, Remus?" Lily asked politely, although her expression clearly showed that she wanted a different answer to a different question. It was more like, "So, Remus, do explain exactly _why_ you suggested to take my fiancé out to drink and allow him to get so hopelessly drunk?"

Remus found himself swallowing nervously and dared a glance at Sirius, who smiled stupidly back.

"Quite alright, thank you." He unconsciously began to drum his own fingers across his lap.

"Enough already!" James snapped. "You might as well get on with it and lecture us all."

Lily slowly turned to stare at him; it was a look enough to scare the strongest man senseless. James immediately looked away, slinking down further on the sofa until he was nearly on the floor.

"What use will a lecture do? You all have done stupid things before," she said stoically.

"Then perhaps we should just explain our actions anyway, so as not to make us out to look _completely_ stupid," Sirius said bravely.

Remus glanced at Sirius again, who glanced back and gave a slight nod. This _was_ why they were there after all, Lily did not demand them over for an explanation.

Lily's hard expression softened slightly into suspicious concern. "Go on."

After a deep breath, Remus explained his and Sirius' concerns about her and James. How they were always busy, always attacked more than the others, sought out by the Death Eaters, and James' obvious growing worry about Lily. Sirius added in his say intermediately, and the whole while Lily listened intently as James stared at his friends with an unreadable expression.

"So we knew James would never openly admit to our suspicions," Remus said while James blushed slightly and looked away. "And that's why we, or myself, resorted to drastic and foolish actions to find out what's going on."

"It was _both_ our idea," Sirius added, making sure he got share of the blame and not entirely Remus. "I encouraged it. We know it was stupid to do, and even dishonest, but frankly, we didn't know what else to do."

Lily looked a little shocked and even slightly afraid, turning to James and back to Remus and Sirius.

"It's true how much harder we've had to work as a team lately, and how the Death Eaters strangely seem to concentrate only on James and I, but I had no idea that you were _this_ frightened for me, James!" Lily said the last part to James, who looked back at her now with loving concern.

"I… I didn't know how… I didn't want you to…" he faltered.

Realization dawned on her face, and Lily looked solely at James.

"That's why you've been acting so much more protective lately."

James bit his lip a moment, swallowing hard.

"It's just superstition," he said.

"But you still believe it," she countered. "In the prophecy?"

"Do you think that the Death Eaters are more violent toward you because of this prophecy?" Remus offered. "Could Voldemort be the other force talked of in it?"

James was at a loss. He shook his head and crossed his arms while Lily looked at him apprehensively.

Sirius' expression turned fierce and he stood up, fists clenched.

"James, you know I would do _anything_ to protect you and Lily. We're all a part of the Order. If you're afraid of something, _tell_ _us_. Remus and I will do what we can… Peter too."

"He's right," Remus said with absolute certainty. "You can count on us."

"You shouldn't keep things from me, James. Not matter what," Lily said gently, reaching for James' hand. He grabbed it and squeezed it lovingly.

"You guys have no idea how much you all mean to me. What I would do if any of you should get… should get hurt… or…" James whispered.

"What? After all the mischief you led us in at Hogwarts? All those times we nearly got ourselves killed, or expelled, or hexed because it was _your_ idea? I'm surprised," Sirius said lightly, smiling at James.

They all laughed then, but Remus noticed that the fear was still etched in James' eyes. Especially whenever he looked at Lily. No matter what James said, he believed totally in the prophecy, and Remus had a feeling that Dumbledore knew more about it than he claimed. It wasn't just Remus the old wizard had private meetings with- James also met with Dumbledore frequently, and James always left them with a grim expression. Voldemort was connected to them in a way that made a chill go down Remus' spine.

"I promise," James said. "No more secrets. But let's not think about this anymore for now… we have a wedding to plan."

The weather grew warmer and the snow disappeared. Birds returned from their winter holiday, and the lakes and streams began to flow once more. Spring was in full swing, and after the last of the birthdays was celebrated, Remus felt more alive at 19 years of age than at any other time in his life.

It never occurred to him that getting married at his age was too young. In the case of Lily and James, both being among the oldest of Remus' friends, 19 going on 20 didn't matter when it came to love. Despite everything, it was clear that the only soul on Earth that mattered to James was Lily, a half of his whole. Seeing them together brought joy to Remus' heart, and as their wedding drew closer, Remus couldn't help but get caught up with it right along with the groom. 

"Do you think these slacks make my butt too big?" Sirius asked, trying to look at his rear as he stepped out of the dressing room in Madame Malkin's. "Look at me from the side, do I look different to you?"

They were getting fitted for their tuxedos, and James had only Remus, Sirius, and Peter as his groomsmen.

"Your butt's big to begin with," James muttered, staring instead at his hands that were wearing white gloves. "I dunno 'bout the gloves, Madame. I look like some sort of snobby baron with them."

"Perhaps," Madame Malkin said. She took them away and went to pin places on Peter's tails that were too short.

"I think green puts some pounds on me," Peter muttered, frowning at himself in the mirror before him. All four of them wore vests of green velvet, with James' trimmed with gold and auburn. Their slacks and tails were black, with white collared shirts that ruffled at the neck in the front and pinned down with a gold clasp. James' clasp was a family heirloom, bearing the family crest engraved upon it.

Remus looked down at his own tuxedo, noting how it hung off of him like loose skin. No matter what, he didn't seem to put on any pounds. Beta had mentioned to him once before that you don't hear of any fat werewolves. The thought of her put a silly grin on his face that Sirius interpreted as a joke toward Peter.

"Looks like a jolly ol' elf, doesn't he Moony?" he jeered as Peter narrowed his eyes at him.

"Oh, shut up. You look like a dragon in heat," Peter snapped.

"Come off it, rat!" Sirius scuffed. 

"You come off it!" Peter countered.

"Gentlemen, it's a little difficult to fit you if you're engaged in a pub room brawl," Malkin said dryly, pushing in a pin under Peter's arm that connected with his skin, making him yelp. 

"Sorry, Madame," Peter said humbly.

"_Sorry, Madame!_" Sirius squeaked mockingly under his breath so that she couldn't hear. Remus let out a soft chuckle as Malkin eyed them suspiciously.

"Fitting your bride and her ladies wasn't half as difficult the other day," she muttered, handing James a mirror to look at himself more closely.

"That's because they let us do all the difficult'ing," Sirius snickered.

Both James and Remus shot him a look.

"What?" Sirius asked innocently.

Madame Malkin needed only a few more adjustments and afterward had the men take their tuxedos off. She wrote up an invoice and put the clothing aside for the proper tailoring.

"It will all be ready for pick-up next week in time," she said to James.

"Right, thank you Madame!" he said to her as they left the shop.

"Should we all come to get ours, or should one of us volunteer to pick them all up and bring it to your place?" Remus asked James as they stepped out into Diagon Alley. It was nearly lunchtime on that Saturday, and already the cobblestone street was busy with shoppers. They had to move out of the way to avoid being run over before James thought enough to answer.

"Well, considering I have to pick up the rings from the jeweler in Muggle London next week as well, it might be easier for one person to pick up all the tuxes," he said as one particularly overweight witch bustled unnecessarily close to him and the others. James tried to hide his grimace, but the witch clearly took notice and stuck out her chubby chin indignantly as she dismissed the display behind them and left.

"Do we know which day they'll be ready?" Peter asked, rubbing his right arm where a passer-by had hit him on their way into Madame Malkin's. "I would volunteer, but I have some prior appointments to take care of before the big day."

"I'm sure Remus and I can do it," Sirius offered. Remus looked at him. "If he's free, that is," Sirius added.

"I don't mind." Remus smiled. 

"That'd be great," James said, nodding.

A brief break in the current of shoppers in the street allowed them to move. They spent a great deal of time discussing the plans for the next several days leading up to the wedding, stopping every now and then to look into Quality Quidditch Supplies and the apothecary. One particular store caught Remus' eye as James and Sirius argued over proffered plans for James' bachelor party.

When Remus was very young, before the cursed bite shattered his life, he had admired his brother's most prized possession: an ordinary looking Muggle camera. It was different, however, in the fact that all the photographs it took were enchanted to _move_. One did not need to have magical blood to operate it, so Remus' father thought it was a perfect gift for his unfortunate first-born. The camera was perhaps the one thing Neo was proud of, since it gave him a small sense of equality in the eyes of his family. However, as Remus grew older and after he was cursed, Neo soon became resentful toward the camera as well. He knew that Remus was fond of it, and to spite him he had the camera destroyed. Just how he managed to do it, Remus never found out.

Now, Remus found himself staring down at almost an exact duplicate of Neo's old camera sitting in the front of a window for a shop called Anything & Everything.

"How silly," Peter said from behind Remus' shoulder. He was peering curiously at what Remus was looking at. "What's a Muggle thing doing in Diagon Alley?"

"It's not _really_ a Muggle camera," Remus said, feeling surprisingly defensive for the thing. "It's enchanted, to make the pictures move."

"Oh, well then. I didn't know they used something like _that_. Mother doesn't have a camera of any sort. Just portraits that keep bugging me to comb back my hair and tuck in my shirt." Peter shrugged.

"Wizard photographs don't talk," Remus said, finding himself smiling down at the camera. "They only move."

Peter merely shrugged again, looking back at James and Sirius with a laugh.

"Wish we'd have a photograph of _them_. It'd be a lot quieter!"

Indeed, they were certainly making a scene. Sirius was insisting on taking some exotic holiday to a beach somewhere, full of pubs and women in bikinis. James wanted to stay closer to home, and Remus sensed he knew why. Lily's bachelorette party had already been planned by her friends, consisting of a night at the Muggle cinema and a disco somewhere in London. James clearly did not want to stray too far from that vicinity, just in case something should happen that Lily couldn't handle on her own.

Looking back at the camera, Remus made up his mind. Reaching for his wallet, he left Peter with a puzzled look in the street and walked into the shop. Ten minutes later he appeared with a small wrapped package and his wallet considerably lighter.

"You're too late," Peter said, pointing to James and Sirius. "They've shut up. I think they finally agreed on something."

"Peter, you little prat," Sirius said suddenly, looking at them. Remus sighed but was still satisfied that he had bought the camera. It had been a long time since he had bought something for himself. There would be many uses for it, he was certain. "You _could_ have helped."

"Oh, lay off it, Padfoot," James sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"I see Moony went shopping," Sirius brought himself to say, eyeing James.

"Someone has to document all the crazy things we do," Remus laughed. "Thought I might snap a few shots at the wedding for you, James."

"Now there's one thing Lily and I forgot about. A photographer! Great, I'm glad we'll have something to show our children." James grinned at him graciously.

"Now _there's_ a scary thought," Sirius muttered. James punched him in the shoulder. 

"What have you agreed on?" Remus asked, putting a spell on the package so that it was shrunken to fit inside the pocket of his wizarding robe.

"I hope it has nothing to do with The Dragon's Double," Peter said with a frown. He had made it clear that he was very glad he had not been with them the last time Remus, James, and Sirius went to that particular pub. Remus doubted they would be welcomed there anyway after what had happened.

"Better," Sirius said with his characteristic mischievous grin. "The Marauders are going _back_."

Remus and Peter exchanged slightly puzzled looks.

"But, Sirius, I said-" Peter began.

"Back where?" Remus asked, cutting him off.

"Our last great mission as single, shape-shifting men!" Sirius cried.

"Back to Hogwarts, Moony," James said. "Back to claim what's rightfully ours to pass on to the next generation. We're gonna get our map back."

Showing up unannounced on Hogwarts grounds was something the adults of the castle were used to, knowing that Remus and the others were members of the Order and they had authorized access. Anyone else who tried to enter the grounds without prior authorization during the school year were stopped and questioned, by both magical barriers and an alerted professor or Hagrid himself. It was the last day of April and the evening was proving to be warm and muggy after an afternoon of rain. They had no difficulties getting onto the castle grounds, aside from getting stuck in mud and bit by various nocturnal insects.

James and Sirius were as excited as ever to be back to their nighttime foray. There was also something in the way James bounced on his heels that told Remus there was something more than excitement making him eager to start their infiltration of the castle. There was also nervousness and impatience to get it done; Lily being out on her own with her girlfriends was clearly the reason.

"It would just be easier to walk in and simply ask Filch to give it back," Peter said dubiously. "We're grown adults. It's not like we're students and he can't give it back to us in fear of us making trouble."

"That would take the fun out of it, now wouldn't it?" Sirius asked him pointedly. "Besides, I doubt he'd even hand it over to us after seeing our pins."

"He's right," James agreed. "We may be 19, but we don't look that much older. He'd probably give us detention anyway and report us to Dumbledore. Don't think that'd look good on our record if four Order members got a detention for stalking the hallways at night."

"Then how do you plan on doing this?" Remus asked with his arms folded, looking at the castle critically.

"Me and Sirius will transform and try to distract Filch. Peter will transform and distract his stupid cat…-"

"I'm gonna WHAT?" Peter cried. Remus had to grab him and throw his hand over Peter's mouth. A shout like that could have alerted anyone close to the grounds.

"Shut up, you bloody idiot!" Sirius hissed. "You wanna blow our cover?"

"And Remus, using my invisibility cloak, will go into Filch's office and find the map," James finished, glaring at Peter.

"Sounds simple enough," Remus muttered, removing his hand from Peter's mouth. Peter remained silent, glowering at them all.

"I always get stuck doing something more outrageous," he whispered heatedly.

"Funny," Sirius said slyly. "I seem to remember you begging to do _anything_ as long as you were with us."

"Yes, that was then but this could mean our _jobs_!" Peter had to keep from shrieking. Remus couldn't help but agree with him on that point, yet the thrill of being back on Hogwarts grounds, at night, unseen, completely going against the rules… well, it was enough to set him grinning as he quietly followed James and Sirius up to the main doors to the castle. Peter followed resolutely, but not without trepidation as he cautiously brought up the rear.

"Best to transform now so as not to be seen as we really are just in case," Sirius whispered.

"One thing, Padfoot," James whispered urgently back. "You might walk around unheard with your paws, but I think that hooves on stone are slightly more audible."

Sirius looked at him in alarm; clearly he hadn't thought of that. They all stood there staring at each other for a few moments, before Remus got an idea.

"What about a silencing spell? Of course you won't be able to sound an alarm or anything, but at least you won't be heard running up and down the corridors," he said to James.

James nodded, and Remus pulled out his wand. After a soft swishing noise, a large and magnificent stag stood in the place James had been.

"_Quietus_," Remus muttered. James, as the stag, blinked and moved to test the spell by stepping up onto one of the stone steps leading to the castle doors. Sure enough, no matter how hard he jumped, no sound came.

"Right then, you all know what to do. Let's go!" Sirius transformed into the huge black dog and Peter shriveled down into his rat form. Remus carefully and quietly opened the doors and the three animals silently swept inside.

Remus' grin was broad despite the ridiculous risk he and the others were doing. Walking the silent and dark hallways and corridors brought back countless memories of older days when the biggest danger was getting caught by Filch and getting detention polishing the trophies in the Trophy Room. Their beloved Marauder's Map was confiscated one fateful night in their seventh year by the haggard, old janitor and his newfound accomplice, his cat Mrs. Norris. It was a foul-up that they had took a long time to recover from, with James accepting the blame. After nearly three years of undiscovered marauding, it was finally caught when James had taken it out with his Invisibility Cloak and he got caught in the trick step on the main stairway. The map had fallen out of his hands, only just after he had managed to seal the map back into looking like an old piece of parchment. It fell out of reach, and in his struggle to retrieve it, his cloak had fallen off.

Mrs. Norris was the first to catch James and alert Filch, and, knowing he had no way of escaping, James quickly took off the cloak and hid it before Filch could figure out he owned the rare fashion. Afterward, James served six weeks in detention and the map, suspected of being more than just a piece of parchment, was filed away in Filch's filing cabinet of confiscated goods.

Reaching Filch's office was just as easy in darkness as it was in daylight, having had memorized every possible way of getting there after the countless times Remus had been dragged to it in various degrees of trouble. When he could see Filch's office door from a distance, he hid behind a corner. It wasn't until he heard something valuable shatter on the floor somewhere in the castle and Peter as the rat dash across the doorframe, that Filch came out of his office.

"Students! Out of bed! Blasted overgrown vermin… every year! Come, my sweet," Filch growled. Mrs. Norris quickly trotted out the door and started toward where the noise came from when Peter caught her attention. To Filch's annoyed shock, the gangly cat made a beeline for Peter's petrified rat self and disappeared down the other end of the hall.

"This is no time to be chasing mice!" he shouted. Remus flattened himself against the wall as Filch stomped down the hall past him just as another crash could be heard echoing up the castle. "I'll get them meself!"

When Filch's angry muttering couldn't be heard any longer, Remus slowly came out from his hiding place and walked quickly to Filch's office. Carefully closing the door, he turned immediately to the filing cabinet where he knew Filch had filed the map away.

There were countless files in each of the ten drawers, some of them dating back to 1940. Remus had no idea that Filch was _that_ old, yet then again it was possible that this filing cabinet held files made by previous janitors. After nearly five minutes, the second to last drawer held four over-stuffed files:

Black, Sirius A.

LUPIN, REMUS J.

PETTIGREW, PETER O.

POTTER, JAMES J.

Remus quickly flipped through the numerous referrals and confiscated articles each of their files contained. He knew the map would most likely be filed in James' folder but he was curious to see what Filch had written in their files:

. . . Black was found turning all the suits of armor pink. Request maximum charge…

. . . Student was found hiding under a table in the library after hours. Identified himself as Pettigrew. Request detention for participating in a suspicious activity of ambush…

. . . Charged with unauthorized experimentation of spells on other students. Lupin repeatedly turned others in his year into blue weasels. Potter and Black are also charged with excessive laughter…

The list went on and on. Remus had to try very hard not to laugh as he remembered almost each and every incident. He was especially proud of the time he had accidentally turned a group of students into blue weasels, _including_ Severus Snape. Of all the times they got caught, there were the times they _didn't_, and every year Remus and the others grew more skilled at eluding Filch.

Suddenly, a slight noise behind him sent Remus into a violent start. He threw the file he was reading back in the drawer and slammed it shut, just before turning around to face a tall figure in the dark. A feeling of dread overpowered him. Not only was getting caught in general bad, but getting caught while being a Ministry official and employee of Dumbledore was worse. This would no doubt cost him his job, he concluded to himself.

_How ironic too!_ _Fired for snooping around the castle doing what I've done for the past six years!_

However, the figure was not the hunched over form of Filch but a slender and strong female shadow. Then, to his utmost surprise, Beta stepped into a sliver of light.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, her face suspicious.

"What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing? How'd you get into the castle?" Remus had to keep himself from shrieking.

She opened her mouth to answer, but she didn't manage one. They stood there gaping at one another, until a distant sound of footsteps brought them both to their senses.

"Blasted animals! Just wait until I get my net, _then_ I'll have you!" Filch was quickly coming back to his office.

"Quick!" Remus said sharply, grabbing her shoulder and peeking around the doorframe. He could not see Filch yet, but his footsteps were getting louder. Quickly, he dragged Beta in the other direction down the corridor and practically tossed her into an empty classroom. After checking to see that the coast was clear, he locked the door.

"Now," Remus whispered hoarsely, trying to catch his breath. "Tell me just _what_ you were thinking when you decided to follow me tonight."

For the first time since Remus had ever met Beta, he noticed her cheeks go bright red even in the minimal light. She was clearly embarrassed and the emotion was almost immediately covered by her characteristic hot temper.

"My business is my own," she grumbled.

"You always say that," Remus said.

"Because you always ask!" Beta hissed.

"Because you always follow me!" he hissed back.

They stood glaring at each other just as Filch's footsteps started resonating from the hallway. Heart pounding, Remus roughly grabbed Beta and he pulled her flat to the floor.

"Honestly," Beta whispered exasperatedly, her voiced muffled flat on the floor. "Can' –ou say a s'ell?"

"What?" Remus asked distractedly, ears strained to the footsteps that were now growing fainter.

Beta got up on her knees and grabbed his head between her hands, forcing him to look directly at her.

"I said," she growled. "Can't you say a spell? Or, is playing secret agent all you're capable of doing in a magic school?" 

Remus grabbed her wrists and stared back.

"What? Don't you like rolling around on the floor?" he asked sarcastically.

She scowled at him as he got to his feet and checked the door. Cracking it open slightly, Remus checked to see if Filch was gone.

"You're more brazen than you used to be," Beta said, getting up.

"I've been around you too long," he said, smiling innocently at her.

"Anyway," she said, crossing her arms. "I'd like to know what you are doing here tonight."

Remus narrowed his eyes at her, all humor gone. There were two reasons why Beta almost always followed him. One was that it was her job as second in command to keep tabs on him, since he was the "rogue" and therefore the least trustworthy. Second was, well, because of Alpha. Remus knew that the feeling he always got when he thought of or saw her, deep down in his heart it was love, yet they never said anything. After that one night, they had not gotten intimate with each other again. Remus sensed that Beta had decided to act extra careful because of Alpha and their plans that would take place in the summer.

Beta knew that Remus worked against Voldemort and his followers, and lately she had stopped trying to persuade him to give up and join the work the Death Eaters were doing. Instead, she listened more when he talked about the evil things Voldemort was trying to do and how everything he said was a lie. Especially after how Churo was treated, it was clear that the werewolves would not get what they were promised. For once since he had taken on the assignment, Remus felt like he really had a chance to turn the Pack around and away from the dark arts.

It was not like Beta to follow him into an establishment so heavily guarded, however. If she did, she always hid outside. Because she had a wizarding heritage, she was therefore no Muggle and could clearly see Hogwarts' castle. Whatever drove Beta to follow Remus directly into the castle troubled him deeply.

After several moments of silence, of which the two of them continued to stare each other out, Beta's heated regime fell and a look unlike any other he had ever seen on her face took its place.

"I… I just- I just wanted… well, I…" she stuttered.

Remus blinked, continuing to stare at her. There was a sense of longing building up from inside of him as he took in every one of her features. To the average eye she probably looked rather plain and washy. However, he saw a magnificent and supple creature as if she were made of wind. For a long time he had wanted to have someone special like James had with Lily. Lily was made for James, and Remus couldn't help but feel that Beta… somehow… was made for _him_. 

However, Remus knew nothing could ever be that way. He swallowed and began to grow nervous under Beta's intense eyes in the dim light. She looked very odd, standing there and staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. "Beta, what's wrong?"

Nearly to his relief, her usual self-pride exploded in angry contempt. "There's nothing wrong! Don't stare at me like I'm about to jump you!"

"Shh!" he hissed quickly, glancing at the door. "Do you _want_ to be found?"

She strode what seemed like two steps and Beta was almost instantly upon him. Emotion mixed with both embarrassed fear and curious elation with her scent filling his nostrils filled him. Remus' face quickly turned scarlet.

"Do you regret that one night?" she asked him in a hoarse whisper, her tone sounding almost… almost desperate for an answer she was nearly afraid to hear.

He stared straight into her eyes, his expression softening. "No," he said, slowly touching her cheek. "Do you?"

Beta appeared to be caught between decisions, until she suddenly turned just as red in the face and backed away as fast as if his flesh had burned her.

"I… oh." She stared at her hands, which had started to shake, and her expression became stony. Before Remus could open his mouth, she had bolted past him, unlocked the door, and nearly stepped on a small shadow on the floor before bolting into the dark corridor.

The small shadow then suddenly transformed into a very bedraggled Peter. The small young man stared at Remus, both of them with their mouths agape.

"Moony? But… who?" He pointed in the direction Beta had disappeared.

"Just a student I knew, a year younger," Remus said quickly. "Where're the others? I couldn't get the map; Filch came."

Peter looked at him suspiciously. "Filch ran them out into the Forbidden Forest. His stupid cat had me in a corner, until Peeves took notice and flung a vase at us. Mrs. Norris ran off after the annoying pest, thank God. We need to get out of here quick before Filch finds us, though."

"Right then, let's get out of here before things get worse." Remus pushed past Peter and started to nearly run down the corridor, down the main stairwell, and nearly flew out the front doors with Peter scrabbling at his heels to keep up. Later, when Remus looked back on that night, he couldn't figure out how he got out of the castle and off of school grounds without any sign of Filch, his stupid cat, or Peeves for that matter.

James and Sirius were downright depressed that they didn't get the map back. While they did not blame Remus for the failure, he felt like he was entirely to blame (which, in fact, he was if he remembered everything that happened). He didn't tell James and Sirius about Beta or just how he got distracted. Filch simply arrived back and he had to hide. Peter, however, did not say anything about the girl he saw… although, he did keep glancing at Remus with an unreadable expression that Remus passed off as mild, maybe even amused, suspicion. 

Lily was, naturally, very concerned about James and how depressed he was in the days after his "bachelor's party". They didn't tell her about what they did, simply that their mission pretty much failed. At first she was suspicious, then concerned after James spent the next three days on the sofa in the sitting room staring at the wall and muttering how his children will wander around Hogwarts aimlessly without meaning. By the fourth day, the day before the wedding, Remus had to drag him out of the house to pick up the tuxedos and the rings. This was doubly good, because Lily had become so exasperated by that time, James most likely would have never have lived to see the alter the next day.

Fortunately for James, the happiest day of his life counteracted anything the Marauders could ever do in a lifetime. Remus stepped out onto the sidewalk in Hogsmeade next to the church and smiled up at the sun, while James and Sirius fretted over their bow ties continuously becoming crooked. Peter was beginning to sweat, although not from the warm weather for that May morning. He would be escorting Alissa, one of Lily's bridesmaids. For some reason, the tall blonde seemed to hold a grudge against him, and Peter always felt very intimidated by her. Sirius made it a point that he and the Maid of Honor made a smashing good couple, although Ash always criticized him. Sirius never complained, however, claiming that he had been criticized since the day he was born.

When they entered the church, filled with mainly friends since most of James' and Lily's families were deceased, James was so nervous, Sirius practically had to help him to the front of the alter. Remus stood to Sirius' left and Peter did likewise, nervously wringing his hands behind his back. The music started, the guests quieted, and the bridesmaids made their entrance.

Remus' eyes wandered as Ash marched down the isle, strewn with rose petals. He saw many of Hogwarts' professors in the pews, as well as Dumbledore himself close to the front. Most of the members of the Order were there as well, dressed in their formal robes. Everyone wore their very best, be it Muggle or wizarding clothing. The stained glass windows made the entire sanctuary glitter in all the colors of the rainbow, making it feel like Remus stood at the heart of happiness. However, when he saw Mika making her way down the isle, he couldn't help imagining Beta wearing that deep emerald green gown, her long hair adorned with flowers. He could just see her mysterious eyes gazing at him as she made her way toward the alter. Then she blinked, and she was Mika again… with her short black hair and gray eyes. His heart sank slightly, hardly noticing how Peter squeaked under his breath when Alissa came beaming down the isle, giving Peter a cold glance despite the smile.

The music stopped, allowing the organist to begin the bridal march. Remus saw James in the corner of his eye straighten up and swallow a small lump in his throat. Lily appeared down the isle, stepping in time to the music, smiling her brilliant smile that seemed to illuminate the world at that moment. Her dress highlighted every feature of her body in white silk, with embroidery embellishing the hems and neckline. The train of the dress dropped a little past the floor, causing it to drag and pull fallen rose petals along. Remus couldn't help but grin, noticing how James and Lily looked right at each other without any care for who or what was around them. She reached the alter, took James' proffered hand, and the priest began the ceremony.

Remus stood silently in his place throughout the hour-long recitation of vows and sermon. He kept looking at James and Lily, feeling very happy for them and content with a sense that this was meant to be from the beginning. However, Remus also envied James more at that moment than at any other time before… he was marrying the woman he loved more than life itself. They could and would have a life together, raise a beautiful family, and maintain a stable lifestyle. What could Remus hope for? The woman he kept picturing in his head standing at his side taking vows was Beta; No matter what, however, a life together with her would not be as picturesque.

"I now pronounce you, man and wife!" said the priest. "You may kiss the bride!"

James and Lily smiled broadly and displayed one of the most romantic kisses Remus had ever seen. He clapped while Sirius hollered excitedly and Peter whistled.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Potter!"

The congregation stood as the newlyweds joyfully made their way down the isle and out of the sanctuary. Sirius took Ash's arm and followed behind them. Remus and Mika exchanged polite smiles as he took her arm in his and followed suit, taking care not to tense up in her presence. To his relief, when they exited the church and began the short walk to the carriages that would take them back to the Potter estate for the reception, Mika took her arm from his and hurried to catch up with Ash. Remus suppressed a sigh of relief, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Peter hurried to his side in her place, though, panting out of breath.

"Oh, honestly! One more moment with her and I would've passed out," he moaned.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You mustn't let her get to you like that."

"If a woman threatened _your_ reproductive future if she thought you looked at her funny, you would be close to unconsciousness as well!" Peter snipped.

Remus kept himself from letting out a snort at the thought of Alissa depriving Peter of ever fathering children and joined the others on one of the several carriages that were taking the guests to the Potter estate. The ride was a short one (no doubt helped along with a bit of magic) and the wedding party arrived at the completely decked out front lawn of the Potter's home. Remus quickly took advantage of his new camera, taking pictures of guests and friends, as well as plenty of James and Lily. He got them to pose for a moment, smiling and waving while Sirius grinned madly beside them.

"Excellent," James said after Remus took the photo. "That'll be a keeper!"

The food, which ranged everywhere from the finest steak to sushi, was served by the various house-elves of the Potter estate. Remus sat with Sirius, Peter, and the newlyweds, watching as they gossiped together. Sirius was discussing Quidditch moves adamantly with Ash. James and Lily naturally only had eyes for each other. Peter talked quietly with the Longbottoms, their expressions curiously solemn. Remus was about to lean closer to hear more about their conversation, when something caught his eye.

There was a person standing at the back of the lawn where the tents and tables ended. The person's wizarding robes were a cobalt blue color, with a red embroidered pattern along the edges. Looking closer, he saw long brown hair braided down the person's side, the bangs parted with what appeared to be pins. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the eyes- a flash of blue so deep he could swim in the pools of the irises. 

"Who's that?" Sirius suddenly blurted out, making Remus jump. He paled when the rest of his table took notice and looked.

"A friend of mine," he said suddenly, jumping to his feet. James and Lily looked at him curiously, Peter gave him a peculiar expression.

"Remus, you git, don't just stand there! Get her over here!" Sirius hit him in the shoulder.

Remus looked at James and Lily, trying hard to keep his expression impassive. "I don't believe she was invited, though."

"For crying out loud, Remus! _Invite_ the poor woman in, why don't you?" James cried. "If you don't, I will."

Sirius pushed Remus none too gently away from the table. Stumbling, he quickly made his way to where Beta stood, standing as still as a statue and alarmingly beautiful in her attire. He didn't notice how both of them blushed furiously as he squared shoulders with her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes meeting his. Remus' heart flipped at the sight despite himself.

"For what?" he asked incredulously. 

"I followed you again."

He smiled. "You follow me all the time."

Beta looked uncertain. "But this time I came prepared."

"I see that," he replied. "I wasn't aware you owned wizarding attire."

"This is my mother's. It's not something I display all the time," she said. For a moment she took her eyes off of him and looked at the reception. Several eyes were still trained on them, including James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter.

"Does the Pack know you're here?" Remus asked her, suddenly.

She looked at him. "The Pack could care less where I go, except perhaps Alpha. But he does not rule me… he's not my mate. They grow restless, though, with the upcoming battle this summer. You're lucky you're a rogue… you can join whatever pack pleases you."

Remus stared hard at her. If she said anything to anyone here, his secret mission for Dumbledore and the Order would be exposed. It was a major risk that no one except himself and Dumbledore, who sat with the other guests, knew about.

"I'm not invited here," Beta said quickly, starting to back away. "I should go."

"No!" Remus grabbed her hand and she looked at him in complete surprise. "No, you're welcome to stay. Please."

Slowly, she nodded and a phantom of a smile graced her lips. Remus blushed again and gently tugged her toward the main table, where the wedding party sat waiting eagerly. Beta clearly looked like a frightened deer presented to a pack of wolves, however she managed to maintain her characteristic composure. James and Lily smiled broadly as Remus brought her to stand before them.

"James, Lily… this is my friend, er…" Remus faltered a moment. Would it raise too many curious questions about why her name was Beta?

However, Beta solved that problem for him, much to his astonishment.

"Gildie," she said politely, gently squeezing his hand. "Gildie Carter. I'm so sorry to intrude, however, congratulations to the two of you."

Lily stood and took her free hand. "It's nice to meet you, Gildie. You're more than welcome here."

James did the same. "A pleasure." He winked at Remus, who blushed even more furiously. He quickly turned to Sirius, who was grinning madly and looking mischievously at Remus.

"This is Sirius Black," Remus said with a hint of warning in his voice.

"And quite harmless, I assure you, young miss!" he said with a nod of his head.

"I'm sure," she said with a glance at Remus, who rolled his eyes.

When he introduced her to Peter, the look on his face made Remus nearly afraid. It was Peter who saw Beta dash off that failed night at Hogwarts. Ever since then he had acted rather strange around Remus. Beta exchanged pleasantries and then took a seat next to Remus, while Peter moved to another table.

"Gildie Carter… you never told me your real name," Remus whispered in her ear when everyone went back to their other conversations.

"There was never a reason to," she replied nonchalantly.

He looked at her and she looked at him. 

"Until now," she said.

****

Author's Note: So what was it about this chapter that took so long? Aside from school starting in addition to work, my spare time/energy dwindled to a ridiculous size. To make matters worse, I had to re-write certain parts of the chapter because they weren't in tune to the story.

James' bachelor party was going to be _very_ different. Instead of a last crusade to rescue the Marauder's Map, Sirius had planned a different trip and kept the idea to himself until time came to disapparate. What he intended was a seaside holiday in Miami Beach, however he and the others had apparated to the wrong part of Miami and ended up at the Miami Seaquarium. As this scene progressed, it strayed further and further from the mood/idea of the story and into some kinky "road trip-like" teen movie. I completely scrapped the 3 pages that took up and re-wrote it to what you've read today.

The scene where Beta suddenly pops up at Hogwarts while Remus is looking for the map in Filch's office was originally more… er… provocative. When Remus drew Beta into the spare classroom and demanded an explanation, her original response was more suggestive of the time of the month and her ticking biological clock ::wink wink, cough:: What followed was a pretty sappy, cheap romance-novel-esque scene that threatened to produce furry little Remuses running around by the end of the fic.

Again I had a problem with Beta at the very end when she showed up unannounced at James' and Lily's wedding. Several possibilities showed up at this point, ranging from her knowingly leading Alpha to the reception under his force, her unknowingly leading him there and him spying on her and Remus thus exposing their affection for each other, to Alpha doing the former situation with the addition of jumping out and raging a war among the guests.

Add all this to posting problems and you got unlucky chapter 13! I truly, _truly_ hope that chapter 14 does not take nearly as long and be nearly as difficult. At the most, there are only 2 more chapters left… so we're coming to the end, folks! Please, _please_ take a moment to leave a comment or two by reviewing. It doesn't take that long, honest! Thanks for waiting so long, I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^_^

~Orca

http://orcapotter.tripod.com

Join Orca's mailing list, _The Digital Quill_, free via Lumos!


	14. Shadows In Silence

****

Very Important Author's Note: Now, don't kill me… but this is pathetically short. I mean, _pathetic_… only about 5 pages long. There are two reasons why I'm posting it like this- (1.) At the rate I'm going, I won't finish until 2004. (2.) I'm struggling with writers' block. If I post it like it is now, I'm hoping that a new chapter will help break the block and let the story finish up. This fic is taking me twice as long as any other story I've done, both plot-wise and with such a different schedule than high school. Because it's taking so long, I've not only got writers' block but I also have what writers dread- boredom with the story. I feel so horrible that I have no enthusiasm to write this… perhaps because it's such a serious story and there is so much riding on it as far as canon, it takes a lot out of you. Please bear with me, all of you are _so_ incredibly wonderful as far as patience goes that if I could I'd tackle you in a superbowl hug, I would. Anyway, the good news is, is that I have been bitten by the Timothy bug again and am working on planning out the 3rd Timothy novel! I'm not gonna start writing it until I finish this fic, though and I'm not gonna let myself rush through this just to get to that point. Anyway, enjoy what's here, and hopefully I'll get a complete chapter posted up sooner than this … thing. 

Chapter 14

_Shadows in Silence_

The time after Lily and James got married would be the hardest to remember. Everything changed over the course of two years at such a fast pace that, years later, Remus never knew how he had made it through. The following summer after that joyous spring marked the beginning of the end.

Remus' work with the Order switched over to working his secret role full time. Dumbledore assigned Sirius to be partnered with Peter, much to his objection. James and Lily were still honeymooning in Paris, and Dumbledore made sure that the rest of Remus' friends were too preoccupied to suspect his absence. Meanwhile, life at the Den became noticeably tense. Alpha shouted orders at everyone without a second thought, his temper easily set-off with a look of murder in his eyes. Remus took to watching him silently from a corner, either helping one of the others with the various activities they suddenly had to undertake or one of his own. After consulting with Dumbledore about what was to come, Remus finally accepted what was going to happen. Beta gave him every detail she knew about Alpha that would help Remus overcome him at the right moment. He tried hard to swallow his nerves, for facing a larger and more experienced opponent made his very marrow tremble.

There was one full moon before the scheduled brawl the following month. Beta was elusive again, as well as Alpha. It tore Remus up to know what Alpha was doing to her, but she made Remus promise not to interfere. They couldn't let Alpha suspect anything until the final moment. Churo took to drilling the others on what they had to do in Alpha's frequent absence. If they succeeded in winning over D-Two, then that pack would have a choice. Either join theirs or be driven apart. Remus learned that this was rule, done for thousands of years as long as werewolves were outlawed from society. The members of the Pack were drilled on how to keep this logic in their minds while in their wild, transformed states. Churo also met Remus in secret, to teach him the same skills for what he would have to do.

"You're ten times smarter than he is," Churo commented one balmy evening. "You'll need that when you counter him. He's larger than you are, stronger too, but only in body. Your spirit, young Rogue, is stronger than his and that will persevere over anything!"

Dumbledore, on his last private meeting before that fated full moon, agreed with Churo.

"I trust your judgement, Remus. Churo is indeed a wise man. If you believe in yourself, believe in our cause, you can not only take on Alpha but the entire community of werewolves. If anyone can bring them to our side, it's you."

Remus spent many sleepless nights staring up at his ceiling thinking about what was to come. His small cottage remained dark and lonely, so he would go up to his secret room and hug his knees to his chest, remembering simpler times when more trivial things seemed like the biggest problems in the world.

The night before the full moon that June, Remus managed to slip up to his secret room once more, curling up in a corner and staring out the rosette window. He hadn't seen a glimpse of Beta for a week, although he wasn't sure if it was because he himself was busy with the others preparing or that she was away in some secret corner of the Den with Alpha. A chill ran down his spine when he remembered the last speech Alpha made vehemently to the Pack, a week before over the last meal they all had together.

"We will no doubt loose some of us in this brawl," he had growled, looking at everyone in turn with a crazed look in his eyes. How quickly he had changed in a few months. "It will be important to replace those lost. More importantly, it's about time this pack got larger. Not only will we win over that bloody pack, but those members will have to join us or die."

"But, that's against the rules!" exclaimed Thistle.

"The law says they either join us or get driven apart!" Ice had shouted.

"We're not barbarians, Alpha," Churo said with forced calm.

"Do you defy me?!" Alpha had shouted at the group, making everyone jump. "Those who defy me shall die as well on the battleground. A pack follows its Alpha male or else! I am the one who holds your pathetic lives in the palm of my hand. Go against me and you loose your place in the Pack with your life."

Everyone's face then took on grim acceptance. Beta had been staring hard at her plate, not saying a word. 

"If you all are quite finished questioning my orders, this is also to be made quite clear. All females of the Pack are no longer under abstinence law."

Every person in that room had sat up frozen at that moment. Remus remembered that clearly, looking quickly at Beta with his heart hammering wildly in his chest. As he sat in his secret room, recalling that image, his heart cried at what Alpha was doing to her at that moment as Remus sat there. 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Puck had then said slowly, a sick grin starting to spread on his face. Remus wanted nothing more than to hex him.

"Epson," Churo's calm had nearly lost it control at that point. "Abstinence law is not something you have authority to lift. It must be approved by the whole of the Network."

"This brawl is between us and that accursed pack," Alpha had said with deadly control. "The future of my Pack is my sole concern. I will have only _our_ blood running through the veins of my members!"

Remus ran his hands through his hair as he forced that memory away. He focused on the shape of the rosette window, and not on the thought of Beta's face as she looked at Remus when Alpha declared all females bear children by that time the following year.

_I will protect her. I will protect all of them. It's not only Voldemort I'm fighting now, it's Alpha as well._

Sunlight started to trickle through the glass, catching Remus' sleepless eyes and making him squint. The day of the full moon had arrived.

"Remus! Remus, you in there? Remus!"

Remus woke with a start. He sat up quickly, realizing he had fallen asleep shortly after dawn out of sheer exhaustion. Judging by the brightness of the light now beaming through the rosette window, it must have been mid-morning. Again there was loud pounding at his front door.

"Remus!"

His mind was so fuzzy that for some reason he thought it was Beta shouting his name. Heart pounding wildly, he stumbled down the small stairway and nearly fell into his bedroom, pelting out to the front door. But it wasn't Beta's slight and tall frame looming in the front window, it was Aaron Berenson.

Aaron had never stepped foot inside Remus' home, much less ever come there or expressed interest to. He opened the door, mouth falling open when he saw that the left sleeve of Aaron's wizarding robe was wet… and dripping blood.

"Where have you _been_?" Aaron gasped severely, slightly out of breath. "We've been trying to contact you!"

"What's going on?" Remus asked, quickly grabbing the closest robe he could find off the rack by the door and putting it on.

"There's been an ambush," Aaron said grimly. His fine black hair was wet with sweat and Remus noticed he was favoring his left leg as well. "The… Dumbledore said… you need to…"

"Where? Let's go." Remus quickly turned the young man around, ignoring his sharp intake of breath as he was forced to run on his injured leg. Remus led him to a safe area to disapparate and kept his hold as Aaron directed them there with a loud pop of displaced air.

Where they appeared, Remus couldn't tell. A torrent of shouts and cries of curses assaulted his ears and all he could see were people running in ten different directions at once.

"Sirius, James, and Lily are over there!" Aaron shouted over the din. He pointed Remus to an area twenty yards ahead of them, clouded with kicked up dirt and darting figures cloaked in black. Aaron then disappeared before Remus could ask him anything more, and he was forced to stumble through the confusion with his wand ready. Twice he had to hex what he now recognized as Death Eaters, sending them flying onto their backsides. He then bound their limbs together and disarmed them, not bothering to raise a flare to signal two captures. Finally, his friends came into view, and his heart nearly stopped.

Sirius and James were firing curse after curse as a mass of Death Eaters charged them. It was very unnatural for Voldemort's men to be so bold like they were acting. Both Sirius and James were caked with dirt and sweat; Remus still had no idea just exactly where they all were. Lily was crouched on the ground, hovering over a body, her wand shaking in her right hand.

"Sirius! James!" Remus shouted, taking down two more Death Eaters. Just as his friends looked up, he was knocked violently to the ground, his mouth instantly filling up with dirt and making him choke. Before he could gather himself up and get into a defensive posture, another curse hit him full on. Fire suddenly exploded inside his body, from his toes to his hair. He screamed, trying to roll the flames out. Yet he knew, as white-hot pain seared his eyes sightless, that this fire was nothing any amount of rolling on the ground could quench.

"Remus!" he heard his name bellowed from some distance far away. Agony held his body immobile, pain beyond pain, and he couldn't do anything but scream. Then, a wave of relief washed over him, putting out the internal fires.

"Remus?" It sounded like Lily but he couldn't tell. The screams, small explosions, and the fact that his hearing was fuzzy as an effect from the curse made it hard for him to make anything out. He felt himself being dragged across the ground and then gently laid back down. His eyesight was slowly returning and he gradually began to make out shapes standing above him. Remus groaned.

"I think he'll be OK," he heard Lily say.

"What about _him_?" That was Sirius' voice, although he spoke in a different direction.

"If we don't get him to a hospital, he won't make it," Lily replied.

"I thought… you said I'll… be OK," Remus managed to say, coughing up dirt.

"Shh, stay quiet," Lily cooed, smoothing out his hair. The gesture surely made him blush, he was certain. "I wasn't talking about you."

"We won't survive long enough to disapparate anywhere. Besides, I'm not sure Gates could handle it," James half-yelled over the noise. 

_Gates?_ Remus thought wearily. _Charles Gates? He's Darwin Edwards' partner… the tall, silent man. He's hurt?_

Remus struggled to turn over, despite Lily trying to push him back. He managed to clear his eyes enough to make out the features of the body lying next to him. Sure enough, the long blonde hair became recognizable despite the dirt and blood matted into it.

"Where's Darwin?" Remus croaked, allowing Lily to roll him off his side.

"He went to get help," Lily said. Her face was its usual fierce calm, however she was shaking from head to foot.

"We have to consider the possibility that… well, he may not make it back in time. We need to make a decision 'cause this scum won't let up and we can't hold out much longer!" Sirius shouted.

"Let me up," Remus said, forcing himself to sit upright despite Lily's efforts to hold him down. "I can help."

"You just got hit with an extremely powerful curse!" Lily shouted sternly, holding Remus back. "You're in no shape to do anything!"

"I'm fine!" he shouted back, making Sirius and James turn to look back at him. "Worry about Charles! He needs more help than I do!"

Disbelief flashed in Lily's eyes and her face screwed up in consternation. When Remus struggled to his feet, she caught his hand to steady him. He pulled out his wand and looked down at her, giving her a reassuring smile that she couldn't quite exchange. Then, he carefully stepped between Sirius and James, blocking a curse just in time before it managed to slip through their barrier.


	15. Spring's EndEpilogue

****

Chapter Fifteen

_Spring's End_

It would be years later that Remus would remember the events after that horrific battle. Charles did not make it much longer after Remus had resolved to stand up and fight beside his friends. The funeral was a long and bleak one, and Remus wasn't the least bit disturbed that the details of that dark day remained fuzzy in his memory.

What did remain as clear as crystal was that summer. The summer that changed everything. It was the beginning of June that Alpha got the word from D Two, and Remus knew that his time to act was upon him. Beta remained indifferent around him when she appeared briefly at times; Alpha kept her "busy" doing other things when Remus would ask where she was. Churo resolved himself to help Alpha prepare for the upcoming brawl while Remus stood in the background, silently noting everything.

Remus didn't chance meeting with Dumbledore during this time so as not to run the risk of being caught. While he felt guilty about leaving the Order in the dark about what he was doing, he knew that there was no other way.

"Are you ready for this?" Beta asked Remus the night before the full moon. Her voice was indifferent but her eyes gave away her concern.

"Not like I have much choice," he said, standing outside under the stars. The moon was hidden by some clouds and Remus could feel rain lingering in the air.

Beta was silent a moment, then she moved in front of him to look him square in the eyes. "But, you do have choice."

Remus resisted the urge to pull back the lock of hair that had fallen onto the bridge of her nose. Instead, he looked at her, mildly surprised.

"You don't have to do this," she whispered. "You can just walk away. You're still the Rogue, disconnected from the Pack. You have the ability to disappear. There's nothing to keep you here when you know you wish to be among your friends."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What makes you think I could just walk away? I've become involved, and the others are depending on me to make things right. I can't leave _you_."

Beta's eyes slowly went wide and Remus took her hand in his.

"Don't" she started to say, tugging slightly from his grip.

"Why?"

"Because because it only makes it harder."

Remus held her hand firmly, not yielding. "Harder to what?"

"To let you go," she said faintly. The change in her voice made Remus look at her, slightly worried.

"Who said I was going to leave you?" he said simply.

At that, a single tear ran down her left cheek, and Remus used his free hand to wipe it away. Beta opened her mouth to say something more before a rustle from the Den's entrance alerted them. Hastily, Remus dropped her hand and Beta jumped back at least a foot before a small shadow appeared where the sound came from. Churo had come looking for them. 

"Epson wishes everyone's presence," Churo said. He eyed the two of them carefully and looked behind him before speaking again with a wink. "Young alphas should learn the art of rallying war."

Remus colored a little, making Churo laugh.

"I have faith in you. No doubt in the future we'll have little pups running around with Beta's smart smirk and _your_ blushing complexion! Our Pack will be the strongest, and we _will_ survive with your reign, Alpha."

"I'm not alpha, yet," Remus said sternly. He stole a glance at Beta and did a double take to see she was blushing furiously. Remus' heart was pumping so fast he was certain that if he were to face that other pack right then he would pass out and therefore be entirely useless as a leader.

Churo started to walk back to the Den and Remus followed, sensing Beta close behind him. When they reached the control center, the whole Pack was waiting. Ice was standing in a corner with her arms crossed, looking indifferent if not intense. Thistle was sitting with Lori, her long pale hair braided with ribbon. Alpha and Puck stood up as Remus, Churo, and Beta entered the room.

"If it's alright with you," Alpha said directly to Remus, who took a seat next to Thistle. "We're ready to start."

Puck's face broke out with a sneer as Alpha gave Remus a sarcastic look. When he didn't respond, Alpha looked at Beta, who nodded back.

"As all of you know, tomorrow is the night of the full moon. Our official brawl with the pack D Two will take place on the moor that lies on our border. All of you will wait for my signal, then make sure you take down all the males. The alpha female of their pack has a young child, and according to our laws the young will be restricted to the back of the pack and away from the fighting. Beta's job will be to take their alpha female out; All other females however, are to be taken alive. Churo, Puck, and –" he looked pointedly at Remus. "Rogue, you three will take out the males. _I_ will deal with the alpha."

Thistle let out a snort. "What happened to your order that all of us females get pregnant as soon as possible?"

Churo gave Alpha an ugly look as Alpha looked at Thistle and searched for an answer.

"That is what Puck and Rogue are for," he said resolutely.

Remus and Puck looked at each other, for once with mutual expressions of shock. All of the women in the room blushed a deep crimson, although Ice quickly composed herself and gave Alpha her characteristic cold stare.

"No offense to certain individuals," she glanced quickly at Remus before approaching Alpha with a dangerous air. "But I prefer a _man_ with more experience under all the fur in _my_ bed."

Thistle and Churo laughed, Lori looked overwhelmed, and Beta was giving Alpha just as dangerous an expression as Ice was. Puck looked insulted slightly, puffing out his chest like a pouting peacock and glaring at Ice with an indignant expression.

"What you do before you kill your prize is your business, Ice," Alpha said sternly, staring at her squarely.

Ice gave no indication of reacting to that statement, although Remus was sure he saw her cheeks color again before skulking back to the corner she had occupied before. Alpha kept his eyes on her for a moment more before looking at the others again.

"Make sure all of you are here and ready to go before sunset tomorrow. We will move closer to the moor before the time comes to transform."

Remus did not sleep more than two hours that night, and when the day came he spent the majority of it pacing around his small cabin. Beta wisely stayed away, most likely conferring with Alpha exactly how the Brawl would be executed. No doubt she was noting everything that could possibly help Remus when the moment came for him to strike against Alpha. Just before he had left for home the previous evening, she told him that once Alpha issues orders for where each member would be placed around him on the moor, Remus should make his move. He recalled over and over again all the advice and what little training Churo provided him up to this point. They hoped that Alpha would be subdued before D Two arrived, that way Remus could try to make a truce with that pack without having to execute the Brawl.

_If I can get through to my Pack_, Remus thought. _Then I just may be able to sway the werewolves to help the Order. For once, I think I can pull this off for real._

There was another thought, however, that kept bubbling to the surface of his mind more so than his job for the Order. The fact that if he became Alpha, Beta could, in all respects, become more than just a pack member.

He kept pushing that thought aside, for it tended to bring up other varying thoughts that conflicted with his concentration on overcoming Alpha first. Churo, however, had also mentioned that after Remus is proclaimed Alpha, he must then choose his mate. How exactly Beta would feel about that, Remus wasn't sure.

Time slipped by quickly, and before long Remus was walking with the Pack just before sunset toward the moor. He had told James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter that he was fine alone, and Dumbledore made certain that they wouldn't follow him. How exactly, Remus would never know.

Beta kept glancing back at Remus, who followed behind everyone as was proper for his rank in the Pack. Remus tried to discourage her from doing so with his eyes and Churo finally managed to distract her. There was enough on Remus' mind, as he looked carefully around him, for him to worry about where Beta would be when his confrontation with Alpha finally took place.

When the sun slipped over the horizon, the yelps of pain and sounds of ripping fabric filled the night as all eight of them transformed into their canine personas. Remus felt his human awareness slip away, replaced by the instinctual and primitive mind of the werewolf. The rogue stretched his claws and threw back his head as he joined his pack in their first howl of the evening. All of them still knew the significance of that evening, and each member slipped into place behind the alpha. 

The alpha female looked back at each of the members, all of them tensed and expectant. Quietly, the rogue knew that his moment had come, and began to move closer to the front of the Pack. The alpha was busy sniffing the air, preparing to move on. All of the others did not move as the rogue moved past them, silent as a shadow. It was when he drew level with the alpha female that the alpha knew something was not right. His hackles raised, he turned quickly to face the rogue. The rogue bore his teeth and moved to square the alpha. The rest of the Pack drew back, making a circle.

I challenge you! The rogue barked.

The alpha drew back his lips into a menacing grin.

You are a fool, Rouge! You dare challenge me?

The rogue dug his claws into the dirt, a low growl emitting from his throat.

I challenge you! It is law to concur!

The alpha quickly lost his amusement and barked in outrage. Both werewolves were in the fighting stance, tails cocked between their hind legs. The rest of the pack circled intently around them, the alpha female looking intently at the rogue.

Then you shall die! The alpha leapt. 

Like lightning, the rogue moved to the side. The alpha was larger and bulkier, but that gave the rogue the advantage. His light weight and smaller size allowed him to dodge the alpha's charges. He ducked to the side and rammed the alpha in the side, grabbing his throat and digging his teeth through the skin. The alpha bucked and tossed the rogue onto his back, leaping on top of him and violently grabbing the place where the rogue's jugular was, shaking him wildly. The rogue kicked him with his hind paws, sending the alpha stumbling to the side, allowing him to be attacked in the face. Scratching and biting randomly, the rogue panted and snarled as he leapt again onto the alpha's back.

A strong breeze rippled the fur on each member of the pack, and yet not any of them moved. Their eyes were locked on the two males. The oldest werewolf kept glancing back at the only other male, smaller than the alpha and the rogue. His eyes were looking at the rogue with malice, his claws digging deeper and deeper into the ground.

For an hour, the two werewolves fought heedlessly, neither giving in to the other. Their fur was matted with blood, the rogue favoring his right leg and the alpha was bleeding freely from his neck. They leapt back and began to circle each other, trying to gather more strength. The rogue looked at the alpha female.

She's mine! The alpha let out a snarl.

I will not loose. The rogue crouched down and prepared to leap.

You're dead! They both charged each other.

Suddenly, a howl pierced the darkness, making the whole pack freeze. The alpha and the rogue stopped short of colliding with each other, ears pricked forward, panting hard and still staring at the other with hatred. Another howl, closer than before, made each pack member look to the south. That was when the other male made his own move.

Mine!

The rogue was knocked to the side, the smaller male using his momentum to plow through the fighters. The alpha leapt back before the smaller contender could make contact. In the confusion, the rest of the pack moved forward just as eleven shapes materialized in between the surrounding trees.

A third, long howl, and suddenly the eleven shapes became eleven large werewolves. The other pack had arrived for the Brawl.

The alpha was suddenly overtaken by the largest of the males from the opposing pack. All of the females began to take on each other. The rogue, feeling a sense that what was happening should not happen, leapt into the fray, finding the alpha of his pack quickly loosing to the opposing alpha. Without warning, the young male that had interrupted the rogue's fight with their alpha attacked him again. Easily, the rogue managed to shake him off, and the male was tossed into the scuffle between the elder and one of the males from the other pack. The rogue found the alpha female, locked onto the neck of the other pack's lead female. There was a tiny, hardly audible bark, and a small shape came streaming from the wooded area toward them. Surprised, all of the fighters paused momentarily to see a young male pup clawing vigorously at the rogue's pack member.

The opposing alpha female took the momentary pause to leap onto the other, knocking her onto her side. With a bellowing snarl, the rogue plowed into the attacking female. The pup was thrown aside, and one of its pack members disengaged from the fighting to herd it away. It was enough time for the rogue's alpha female to get up and make a last stand against her opponent. The rogue stood to the side, watching momentarily as the life was wrenched from the other pack's alpha female.

Then, without warning, the sky exploded with light. Each werewolf still standing froze, tense and bloodstained. The rogue looked toward the direction where the opposing pack had came from. Several dark shapes again loomed in the distance there, although they were not werewolves.

Men! The rogue's eldest pack member let out a sharp bark.

The rogue sniffed the air. These men were not normal men, or at least they did not carry a scent he recognized. They did not carry the scent of fear, but instead, of malice.

Suddenly, the night exploded with more light. The opposing pack continued their attack. The alpha of the rogue's pack was loosing a lot of blood. Light kept shooting from the men toward him. The young male that had challenged the rogue and alpha in their battle was hit in the face with what seemed like lightning. He ran off into the woods, crying, and disappeared. Two of the females from the rogue's pack went down. All of the females left standing either ran into the shelter of the woods or did not move at all. The rogue went to the alpha female of his pack. She looked at him, her eyes wild, and he scented fear coming from her.

Then one of the men came forward, cloaked in shadow. The rogue looked quickly at the alpha of his pack. He was not moving, the opposing alpha standing triumphantly over his enemy. All of the lightning moved past him, and he was without fear. There was no time to challenge him. The rogue looked back at the man, who was now so close, he could sense what all werewolves feared above all else.

Silver. The man had a silver pistol with silver bullets, and it was aimed directly at the rogue's heart.

"You think I can't pick you out?"

Memory stirred in the rogue. He shook his head in confusion.

"You're not so dumb in this state, are you? You know me."

The rogue took a few steps back; His alpha female began to shake. For once, fear had struck her dumb. Anger also held her there, the rogue felt it.

"What a pretty catch you got there. She yours?"

Strange memories flooded the rogue's mind. Why did this man anger him so?

"Things are never as they seem, right brother? Your noble work for that miserable excuse for a wizard not enough for you? You had to run with your _own_ kind! Well then, dear kin, what would you do if I use this?"

The silver pistol gleamed in the flashes of light still chasing the members of the rogue's pack. Everything told the rogue to run away, forget the bonds he had managed to make, and leave forever. Yet, the feel of the trembling fur next to him brought back his need to establish himself. He had laid claim on this female, he had challenged the alpha of their pack, and through his death the rogue had every claim to be the alpha female's mate. This man challenged everything, silver or no.

"I may be the disgrace of the Lupin name," the man said acidly. "But I will become much more than my parents were, much more than _you_ could ever be! You may be the wizard, but I have the power! Lord Voldemort will win, and your pathetic friends will fall. My name means so much more, for I am the only one of our family that has the smarts to join the _winning_, the _rightful_ side! And now, my _brother_, I will end what I started!"

He began to pull the trigger. The rogue leapt to attack. Light flashed all around them. A deafening blast overshadowed all other noise. The rogue was knocked to the ground, and another dull thud landed next to him. Blood filled the rogue's nostrils, but not his own. He struggled onto his belly, and saw the outline of the alpha female. A whine issued from his throat, and he nuzzled her motionless body, blood wetting his nose. 

The man had been knocked aside, and he groaned as he got back on his feet. Red filled the rogue's vision. All memory of this man turned into pure hatred. Briefly, the man's face showed fear in its rawest form. Terror poured from him like sweat. The rogue extended his claws to their full length.

And leapt one last time.

Hours passed. The rogue had been traveling slowly, pulling the dead weight of his mate as gently as he could with his tired jaws. His fur was stained red, his soiled paws slipping on the grass as if it was wet from a recent rain. None of his pack members followed him. He was not sure how they faired. All that mattered was his mate, her breathing less frequent with each passing moment. The rogue's heart pounded faster than in any brawl. All of his wounds meant nothing. He had to get her to their den. She had to live until sunrise. Somehow the rogue knew that.

Birds began to sing as dawn approached. The faint outline of a human's dwelling came into view. The rogue's skin began to itch. He dropped the alpha female and stumbled forward a few more steps until pain lanced all through his body. The rogue let out a howl until, minutes later, it turned into a human moan.

Remus, naked and cold in the long, dew touched grass, shakily got to his feet. Choppy and confusing memories flashed in front of his eyes, and he shook his head. When he stopped, he looked behind him, where he saw the shape of a woman lying motionless in the grass. Remus stumbled over to her, nearly falling when he saw that she was Beta. Quickly ignoring the fact that she was just as naked as he was, he noticed she was not breathing. Remembering faintly about the brawl and what he had had to do, he lifted her and gently shook her shoulders.

Blood was everywhere. Remus quickly became covered in it, smearing more over Beta's wet body. Her pulse was very weak.

"Beta! Beta, wake up!"

It made no sense. If they were injured as werewolves, why would they not have healed when they turned back into humans? The blood did not seem to wipe off, more kept appearing, but from where? Beta showed no signs of waking.

"Beta!" Remus cried desperately, ignoring how cold he was, how much he hurt inside. "Beta, please!" He shook her harder.

I have to get her inside! I have to get her books on healing! He thought wildly.

Remus tried desperately to lift her and get on his feet. He was so fatigued, so awkward, wet from dew and mud that he was not able to gain more than ten feet with Beta in his arms. He dropped her, and he let out an anguished cry of frustration.

A small sound came from Beta's lips. Remus bent over her, breathing hard.

"Cold," came a small, very weak breath from her mouth.

"I'll get you inside the Den. I'll get you warm. Hold on, now!" Remus said quickly. Again, he tried to lift her, but his efforts had weakened him even more. She slumped back onto the ground. He balled his fists in rage at himself.

"I'll go and get your healing books. You're hurt. It will be okay, I'll be right back. Don't try to move." Remus struggled to his feet. Beta weakly tried to grasp his arm.

"No. Stay."

He shook his head. "It will be alright, I'll heal you. I just need your books."

"Stay with me."

He stared at her, slowly shaking his head. The look in her eyes was firm, yet he could sense her soul slipping away.

"Please stay with me," she said softly.

"I can save you!" Remus cried, tears prickling his eyes as he knew what she meant. Knew what was coming. He couldn't bear it. His soul was tearing.

"You already have," Beta whispered, pulling on his arm. He resisted and fell beside her at the same time.

"There's time I can do it you know I can," Remus said to her urgently.

"I know."

"Why? Why?" Remus felt her body, looking for an open wound but found nothing.

"Do me a favor," Beta said, her voice weaker.

"Yes," Remus said, after a moment.

"Make sure you win." Her eyes closed.

"Gildie! Don't leave me!" Remus cried, sitting up.

"Remus." Beta looked up at him. "I'm your Beta. My love is for you. Don't forget _I _named you Rogue."

The sun pierced the spot where they lay. Remus' vision was blurred by tears, the taste of their salt on his lips. Beta smiled at him, and looked away.

"That's me," she said faintly. "Behind you."

"I love you," Remus whispered in her ear. Silence, save for the chorus of birds, surrounded them. He felt each of her breaths. Then, she slipped from him, her life running out like water from upturned palms. 

It was hard to explain things afterwards. What had happened that evening would follow Remus to his grave, save for what he told Dumbledore of how his plan had failed. The survivors from the Pack, Lori and Puck, had finally stumbled upon the spot where Remus had buried Beta's body two days after the brawl. Remus was sitting beside the mound, marked only with a cross, not having moved since the moment when he laid her to rest. Puck gave him no heed, cast a scornful look at the grave, and had walked off. Remus never heard from him again. As for Lori, she stood with Remus for an hour, staring down with his gaze. What she said as she left would stay with Remus for the rest of his life.

"She was pregnant, too."

Lori disappeared as well after that. He made no effort to contact anyone from the Network that he was aware of. As for D Two, the survivors continued to work for Voldemort. Remus never got any sign of his brother again, and he had reoccurring nightmares besides reliving Beta's death, featuring himself tearing each limb from his brother's body and gouging out his organs one by one. There was a haunting feeling that it was more than a dream, but a memory.

A week after the brawl, Remus returned to his friends, and managed to fib his way through explaining his absence. It was clear to them that he was deeply scarred emotionally, although about what, they could not find out. They grew accustomed to seeing him staring out a window, looking lost, his eyes glossy and unfocused. Lily eventually gave up trying to get him to tell her what was wrong.

Another year past. Remus continued to work for the Order, although his duties consisted of everything he had previously used as a cover for his work with the Pack. His friends tried their best to cheer him, and while being in their presence comforted him and made him smile, the empty ache in his heart remained. He never did sleep in his bed again, preferring the solitude of his hidden room.

It was mid-winter when Lily announced she was pregnant. At that time, Remus felt he was moving on. Watching James pamper and fret over Lily that season was enough to distract anyone from their troubles.

"Lily, don't do that!" James worried one evening in late February.

"Don't do what?" she cried, startled.

"That!" he pointed to the book she had reached for.

"What? I can't _read_?" She looked at him as if he were mad.

"You'll strain your eyes or something," he said unconvincingly.

Remus couldn't help but suppress a small laugh. Sirius rolled his eyes from where he was sitting, across from Remus over a chessboard.

"Sweetheart, first of all, I'm only not even five months pregnant. Second, I _won't_ strain my eyes, and third, it won't harm the baby!" She gave him an exasperated look. 

"Well, heaven knows that you'll _certainly_ put your health in jeopardy if you sit next to a window too long. Getting a sunburn from the glare off the glass is far more dangerous than straining your eyes over a book," Sirius said with mock severity.

James scowled at him, which only made Sirius and Lily chuckle. Remus smiled and stared down at the chess pieces. However, when he saw in the position of the pawns the same pattern he remembered from that night of the brawl, his skin went cold. The way the king piece was flanked by the pawns, the queen at its side, with the opponent pieces surrounding them on all sides, it made him get up suddenly and leave the room. Sirius, James, and Lily watched him leave, silent despite the gaiety a moment before.

Remus spent as much time in solitude as he did with his friends during that time. Peter was by far the most absent from their gatherings. Dumbledore had him working alone, after Peter repeatedly requested him to do so. This sparked curiosity among Remus and the others, but there were far more pressing matters to keep their attention.

For one thing, Death Eater activity was steadily increasing. James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter never once mentioned that there were no longer any signs of his brother. For that, Remus was grateful, although he knew it was on their minds sometimes. Lily stayed home and was excused from missions as her pregnancy progressed further and the time was coming for her to give birth. James was frequently irritable during that time, for he wanted nothing more than to stay with her but duty held him to his post for as long as possible.

Then on the last day of July, Remus received a letter from James' owl. The poor bird was ruffled and looked very rushed, and the letter only had a single, excitedly scrawled sentence:

It's time!

That either meant it was time for one of their illegal adventures or that Lily was giving birth. The later proved the most sensible, and Remus fed a slice of bread to the tired owl and sent him on his way without a note. He went outside and disapparated to James' front lawn, where the sky was even blacker with storm clouds and thunder rolled in the distance. Remus quickly walked through the front door without knocking, Sirius running to greet him as if he had.

"We feel it'd be too dangerous to have Lily go to St. Mungos," he said, taking Remus' arm. "I've sent an owl for a healer to come here."

"Who else is here?" Remus asked, following him up the stairs.

"Just us. You, me, James, and Lily of course. That git Peter hasn't shown up yet." He walked up to James' and Lily's room and knocked softly. A moment later, James opened it, looking completely exhausted, elated, and nervous at the same time.

"Ah, good, Remus you're here. Er Lily's dozing, but I don't want to leave her. At least until the healer gets here. She's been in a lot of pain."

"Are you sure she should be here?" Remus whispered, following James' prompt to come inside and sit down on a chair by the window.

"Too much could happen at the hospital. I sent an owl to Dumbledore and he suggested this. He wishes he could come as well, but he also felt that would be putting us in jeopardy too." James ran his hands through his hopelessly messed up hair.

Remus nodded, and looked quickly at Lily, who had stirred and opened her eyes.

"Oh, Remus! How are you?" she asked him sleepily.

Remus smiled at her. "Well. You look positively radiant, Lily."

She grimaced. "I don't feel radiant. I feel more like a beached whale being forced to squeeze a truck through something the size of a keyhole."

Sirius barked out a laugh and James threw him a look that instantly shut him up. Lily smiled at her husband and reached for his hand.

"Don't worry, love. I'll be fine. Next time, it'll be _you_ giving birth."

"Well, good thing that's impossible!" James grinned at her. She looked at him slyly.

"Who said that's impossible? I think I know a spell"

James blanched just as an echoing ring broke the house's silence. Sirius quickly got to his feet and left to answer the door. Remus got up and kissed Lily's other hand.

"I'll be outside if you need me. You need your rest."

She smiled at him as he left the room. Sirius was practically dragging the healer up the stairs in his haste. Remus grinned sympathetically as the poor man was nearly thrown into the room with James and Lily. A moment after the door was closed, it opened again and Sirius was promptly shoved out. 

"But but!" Sirius muttered, torn between staring at the door and the urge to knock it down. Remus grabbed his arm and led him downstairs, where he house elves immediately began a pot of tea. Sirius wasn't patient enough to sit and wait, and contented himself to pace around the foot of the stairs, up the stairs, linger on the landing, then come back down to start the process all over again. If Remus didn't know any better, he could have sworn it was Sirius being the worried father instead of the godfather.

Then memory hit him again, one he had been trying so hard to ignore since he heard Lily was pregnant. What Lori had said the last time he saw her, standing over Beta's grave, made his stomach clench. 

"She was pregnant, too."

Even until her last breath, Beta had said nothing about it. Remus never suspected anything of the sort. She had gave him no sign, no indication. She must not have been far along. He racked his brain trying to remember the last time she came to his cottage, the last time they had been intimate. Then his skin grew cold when he remembered the announcement Alpha had made – that all females were to make sure they became pregnant. It made sense that Beta would undoubtedly be forced to consort with him, as his second in command, and in his mind, his rightful and only mate. So, was the child Beta conceived a result of Alpha or Remus?

Even so, that child's potential life was lost along with Beta. Would Remus had been the one pacing restlessly with concern and excitement as a new father around this time too? Or would it had been Alpha, strutting around the Den with the sole notion that his progeny would soon overwhelm the rooms of their secret hideout? Beta never told Remus she was pregnant. Was that because she knew he wasn't the father?

Either way, it was because of him that both Beta and her unborn were dead. She died to save him from his brother.

Remus sat in the kitchen, brooding over those thoughts, long into the night. It was close to dawn before James came racing to the top of the stairs.

"It's a boy! It's a boy!"

Sirius tore up the stairs and followed James. Remus slowly got to his feet, swallowing the last of the tea that had long since been cold. When he finally made it to the room, the healer had left and Lily was half awake, looking fondly at the small bundle James was holding in his arms. Sirius was hovering over his shoulder, a gentle smile on his face.

Quietly, Remus went over to them, smiling broadly at Lily and looked at the bundle. A small tuft of black hair jetted out from among the blue blanket. Sirius and James looked at Remus and grinned.

"Harry James Potter," James said quietly, pride glowing on his face.

"The fifth marauder," Sirius whispered happily.

The baby stirred slightly, and Remus watched as little Harry opened his eyes. They were bright green, just like Lily's. Something told him that Harry would be a marauder with some sense about him.

"Congratulations, James," Remus said.

Peter showed up not too long after Harry was born, and stayed for a short while. Everyone was too preoccupied to pay much attention to that fact. Peter always held short visits, and continued to do so as the months progressed and Harry grew. Remus did not visit as often as he would have liked, preferring to keep busy so as to keep memories at bay. James and Lily had enough on their hands, however. Sirius was a more frequent visitor, and Remus did not mind that. It wasn't long before the Christmas holiday, and Remus spent it at James' and Lily's home as usual with them and Sirius. Harry was an active, but quiet infant, sitting up and watching with wondrous eyes as Sirius and James cast charms around him. Lily did not approve too much of the two of them performing mock duels, but Harry always giggled when one of them would cast an amusing curse at the other

When spring arrived, Death Eater activity was at the highest yet. Deaths happened daily, and Remus threw himself into his work. He saw little of his friends, as they were all busy themselves. When members of the Order began to fall, they grew desperate.

It wasn't until a full year later on Harry's first birthday that James and Lily decided they had to go into hiding. James made the announcement right after Harry was put to bed.

"There's no more denying it," he said heavily. "Voldemort clearly wants Lily and I dead, more so than anyone else. We are the first to be attacked in any ambush. All of the Death Eaters' focus is on us. I can only assume one thing as the reason. He knows about the prophecy."

Remus put down his teacup and looked up at James. This was news to him, for the last time Remus had a decent conversation with him was that last Christmas. When Remus wasn't working, he preferred to be alone in his cottage. This caused he and his friends to distance themselves, and Remus had begun to feel like a ghost when he was with them. He certainly looked like one anyway, for his hair had grown prematurely thin and his clothes were often dusty with disregard. That day he was dressed in his best, however, and yet that did not help his dislocated feeling. 

"What did Dumbledore suggest you do?" he asked James.

"Go into hiding," James sighed. "Completely."

"Where?" Sirius asked. He was sitting on the sofa, adjusting the arrangement of the twigs on Harry's new toy broom.

"Dumbledore wants to use the _fidelius_ charm," James said.

"What kind of charm is that?" Sirius looked up from the toy. Remus cleared his throat.

"I remember reading something about that," he said quietly. "It involves casting a charm over an individual who solely knows something that must be kept secret. As long as that person never tells a soul that secret, the person or item the secret is about will never be found."

James nodded at him. "A secret keeper', yeah."

"So, Dumbledore will perform this charm, and as long as the secret keeper doesn't say where you are, the three of you will never be found by Voldemort?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," James said.

"Who will your secret keeper be?" Peter asked, making his presence known in the room, holding a plate with a slice of birthday cake on it. Lily walked in behind him, smiling as she signaled to him to wipe off a spot of icing he had on his cheek. He blushed and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"Well, I wish I could let all of you be our secret keeper but Dumbledore insisted the charm will only work on one person. No offense, but I'd like Sirius to be it. If you don't mind, Sirius?" James looked imploringly at Sirius.

"No problem," he said immediately.

Peter made a noise as if he were going to speak, but at that point Harry could be heard crying from upstairs and James left to take his turn with him. Remus took up his tea again and absentmindedly began to stir the slice of lemon around in the cup. Lily looked at him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I wish you would tell us what is wrong with you," she sighed.

Remus smiled at her and shook his head. "You worry too much. I've told you, there's nothing wrong."

"Then why do you always look as if you're not really here?" She crouched down to look him in the eyes. "Tell me the truth, _what did Dumbledore have you doing a year ago_?"

He looked back at her and his smile wavered. She always did seem to always bring him out of his shell, for as long as he had known her. Yet, he closed his eyes and shook his head. What was in the past was just that, there was no use bringing it back to the fore.

"It was that woman that was with you at our wedding, wasn't it?" A look of dawning comprehension came upon her face, and Remus looked at her, his heart racing. "She left you. Oh why didn't I see this sooner?"

"It was nothing, she was just a friend," Remus said quickly. Sirius and Peter were trying very hard to look like they weren't listening. Lily, however, didn't stop.

"Why didn't you say anything? A fool could tell the two of you liked each other. What happened? Why were we so _stupid_ to not realize this was the problem all along? "

Remus kept shaking his head, and when Lily kept persisting he explain, he got up. She stepped back a foot or two, and he tried to look anywhere but at his friends. James had just walked in the room, concern and surprise written all over his face.

"She she's just gone. There was nothing... there's no reason to worry," he said quietly, glaring at the floor. There were tears threatening to break from his eyes, and he shook his head angrily at getting emotional.

"Moony?" James came toward him tentatively. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"James" Sirius said warningly. For once, Remus was grateful to him. He seemed to be the only one that figured it was best not to address the subject.

"Remus, we-" 

"She's _dead!_ She's gone and _dead_! Okay?" Remus yelled suddenly, making everyone jump.

Lily's mouth dropped into a silent gasp, the others didn't look like they knew what to do or say. After a moment, Remus gathered himself and forced a look of calm on his face. He smiled uncertainly and ran a hand through his hair.

"Ah, don't worry, alright? Please? I'm sure I'm fine, now stop it, okay?" He looked at his watch. "Oh, look at the time! I should be going now, the two of you need rest. Harry doesn't let you do that much, I'm sure. Give him a hug for me? I hope he likes the little animal I gave him."

Lily nodded uncertainly.

"He has it in his crib. It's the cutest thing, that little stuffed wolf," she said, smiling finally.

James walked him to the door and shook his hand.

"You don't have to keep secrets, Moony," he said to him. "Any death is not okay. I wish you wouldn't hide yourself. That's not what friends do."

Remus looked at him and smiled weakly.

"There's a part of me that's always hidden. And I prefer to keep that part inside. I'm more worried about you, and Lily and Harry. As long as you three are safe, I'll be fine."

"Don't worry," James grinned. "Our secret will be safe."

Remus stepped outside and buttoned his cloak. With a last wave, he disapparated back to his cottage. The evening was cool despite it being the dead of summer, and as Remus walked up the steps and to his front door, he realized he would never come home to a family like James had.

He never had, and he never will.

Well, Remus thought to himself. _Maybe Sirius is right. I need to get a dog._

****

Epilogue

There was nothing left.

He walked past all of the gaping Muggles, ignored the firemen who were rushing toward the scene, holding large hoses and speaking to their hands. Police were everywhere, and yet they didn't notice him. He kept going, until he was at the edge of it all.

Everything was in ruin.

All he could see was a massive pile of smoldering rubble. There were popping noises around him, and yet he didn't notice as members from the Ministry began to appear, herding Muggles out of the way and talking soberly to one another. It didn't matter, he could see the Dark Mark floating above.

Tears streamed from his eyes and he fell to his knees. James Lily Harry. They were gone. How could Sirius have done this? It was unthinkable! He only faintly noticed a group of aurors moving two large shapes covered with black sheets away. It wasn't real. Surely this was a dream like the others

If he hadn't of shut himself away, would this have happened? Would he have been able to notice Sirius?

His hand fell through the ashes, into the debris, onto something soft. He brought up his hand and pulled it up. It was the stuffed wolf he had given Harry for his first birthday that year, torn, dirty, and singed.

Your curse is the curse of all you dare to love. No matter what you do, you will still hurt your friends. It's in your blood!

Finally, Remus' tears fell. He stumbled to his feet, still holding the toy. Nothing mattered anymore. Everything he held dear was lost now. It was best to just keep moving, keep moving and never stop. Beta was right.

He was a rogue, after all. 


End file.
